The Official Joke thread

GTO · 9th March 2004, 22:29

You don't have to think up any Skoda Jokes,
.........the Skoda is a Joke !

*

How do you double the value of a Skoda?
Put petrol in it.

Heard about the latest 16-valve Skoda? 8 in the engine, 1 on each wheel and 4 in the radio!

What do you call a Skoda rally?
A scrapyard.

A Skoda driver walks into Halfords. He says to the assistant on the parts counter "I'm looking for a clutch cable for my new Skoda".
The salesman thinks for a moment. "Sounds like a fair swap", he replies.

What do you call a Skoda on a motorway?
Ambitious.

What do you call a Skoda at the top of a steep hill?
A miracle.

What do you call two Skodas at the top of a steep hill?
A mirage.

What do you call a Skoda halfway up a steep hill?
A social climber.

Why does a Skoda have a heated rear window?
To keep your hands warm when you push it.

*Why is a tampax better than a Skoda?
Because the tampax comes with its own tow rope!

What do you call a Skoda dealer?
A scrap merchant.

Why do squirrels always chase Skodas?
To pick up the nuts.

*Heard of Skoda's new turbo model?
It has pedals in the backseat, too!

What's situated on the highway saying "Wrom, Wrom"?
A Skoda which is stuck to some chewing gum.

What is the difference between the flu and a Skoda ?
It is possible to get rid of the flu.

How do you make a Skoda disappear?
You spray it with rust-remover!

A Skoda can reach a speed of 140 km/h - if it's transported on the railway.

Did you know that the Skoda's instruction book contains 500 pages?
There are two pages with information about the car and 498 pages with bus- and railroad-routes.

My cousin was unemployed. Then he became a Skoda salesman.
He is still unemployed, but now we understand why ...

Do you know what all the Skoda owners are dreaming about?
Getting a ticket for speeding.

From a newspaper: To the man who stole my Skoda in 20 degrees of frost.
Keep the Skoda, but please tell me how you started it!

Did you know that there are only two men working in the Skoda factory?
One with scissors and one with glue ...

Do you know what the trip-counter in the Skoda says when it's passing 20,000 km?
GAME OVER!!

How do you double the value of a skoda?
Chuck a penny into it.

*There is a big competition at my local pub the first prize is a skoda,
........the second prize is two skodas !

How do you double the value of a Skoda ?
Fill the tank !

Why does a Skoda have a double rear window heater ?
To keep everyones hands warm when they are pushing it !

I had to part with my skoda as it was costing to much,
I was only doing 10 miles to every pair of trainers!!

Original article can be sourced here

v12 · 9th March 2004, 23:18

hey cool jokes. i like the 16 valve one

Rehaan · 10th March 2004, 00:43

hahaha...yeah.funny...

but i like the skoda..

Dippy · 10th March 2004, 01:15

Yeah cool jokes GTO but like Rehaan I like the Skoda too

Cheers

Aditya · 10th March 2004, 02:20

Heard most of these jokes. Most of them are really cool. They were told in Skoda's pre-VW days.
Now however, Skoda has changed for the better.

v12 · 10th March 2004, 12:20

me too like Skoda's. but these jokes are of Skoda's cars prior to WW-II.

Anyways I just checked the Used Cars section of Indiacar. theres a 2000 model 1.9 Octavia for sale. Price 10.5 lakhs. Skoda's do have a very high resale value.

Rehaan · 10th March 2004, 12:58

Ohok! thanks for the clarification! ;-]

Dippy · 10th March 2004, 17:45

Hey Rehaan good jokes pal and u've just inspired me to write a joke book " The One and Only Hyundai Joke Book" by yours truly......

Contributions invited

Cheers

Stratos · 10th March 2004, 17:53

i have an add of skoda.. where its written besides a skoda monogram..
"Just to let u know that there is no way a magzine can put a wrong logo on a car advertisement"

Rehaan · 11th March 2004, 00:07

Hey Dippy,

I think you mean GTO...... (unless the fact that i own an accent has inspired u ;-P )

cheers

toyota · 16th March 2004, 17:34

Waiting for that Hyundai Joke Book

Shan2nu · 18th March 2004, 15:21

Q. Why do people go to Skoda showrooms???
A. To "CZECH" out the cars!!!

Regards...
Shan2nu

Shan2nu · 18th March 2004, 15:25

Q. What do you call an Australian who drives a Skoda???
A. ""Czech Mate""

Boy, am i loving this.

Regards...
Shan2nu

Rtech · 6th April 2004, 17:57

Audi: Accelerates Under Demonic Influence

BMW: Born Moderately Wealthy

Camaro: Can't America Make A Real One?

Chevrolet: Clutch Hangs, Every Valve Rattles, Oil Leaks Every Time

Dodge: Dangerous On Days Gears Engage

FIAT: Feeble Italian Attempt at Transportation

Ford: Failure Of Research & Development

Honda: Hell Of a Nice Damn Automobile

Hyundai: Hope You Understand Nothing's Driveable And Inexpensive

JEEP:Jumps Everything Ever Parked

Mercedes: Most Every Red Cent Eventually Dissipates, Extinguishing Savings

Nissan:Never In Synch Screeching Awful Noises

Oldsmobile: Overpriced, Leisurely Driven Sedan Made Of Buick's Irregular Leftover Equipment

Porsche: Proof Only Rich Suckers Can Have Everything

Toyota:Taking Our Yen Out -- Thanks All

Volvo: Very Odd Looking Vehicular Object

Dippy · 6th April 2004, 18:20

Hahaha

I liked the Hyundai one of course

Cheers

9th March 2004, 22:29	#1
GTO Team-BHP Support Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: Bombay Posts: 66,997 Thanked: 267,437 Times View My Garage	The Official Joke thread You don't have to think up any Skoda Jokes, .........the Skoda is a Joke ! * How do you double the value of a Skoda? Put petrol in it. Heard about the latest 16-valve Skoda? 8 in the engine, 1 on each wheel and 4 in the radio! What do you call a Skoda rally? A scrapyard. A Skoda driver walks into Halfords. He says to the assistant on the parts counter "I'm looking for a clutch cable for my new Skoda". The salesman thinks for a moment. "Sounds like a fair swap", he replies. What do you call a Skoda on a motorway? Ambitious. What do you call a Skoda at the top of a steep hill? A miracle. What do you call two Skodas at the top of a steep hill? A mirage. What do you call a Skoda halfway up a steep hill? A social climber. Why does a Skoda have a heated rear window? To keep your hands warm when you push it. Why is a tampax better than a Skoda? Because the tampax comes with its own tow rope! What do you call a Skoda dealer? A scrap merchant. Why do squirrels always chase Skodas? To pick up the nuts. Heard of Skoda's new turbo model? It has pedals in the backseat, too! What's situated on the highway saying "Wrom, Wrom"? A Skoda which is stuck to some chewing gum. What is the difference between the flu and a Skoda ? It is possible to get rid of the flu. How do you make a Skoda disappear? You spray it with rust-remover! A Skoda can reach a speed of 140 km/h - if it's transported on the railway. Did you know that the Skoda's instruction book contains 500 pages? There are two pages with information about the car and 498 pages with bus- and railroad-routes. My cousin was unemployed. Then he became a Skoda salesman. He is still unemployed, but now we understand why ... Do you know what all the Skoda owners are dreaming about? Getting a ticket for speeding. From a newspaper: To the man who stole my Skoda in 20 degrees of frost. Keep the Skoda, but please tell me how you started it! Did you know that there are only two men working in the Skoda factory? One with scissors and one with glue ... Do you know what the trip-counter in the Skoda says when it's passing 20,000 km? GAME OVER!! How do you double the value of a skoda? Chuck a penny into it. *There is a big competition at my local pub the first prize is a skoda, ........the second prize is two skodas ! How do you double the value of a Skoda ? Fill the tank ! Why does a Skoda have a double rear window heater ? To keep everyones hands warm when they are pushing it ! I had to part with my skoda as it was costing to much, I was only doing 10 miles to every pair of trainers!! Original article can be sourced here

6th April 2004, 17:57	#14
Rtech Team-BHP Support Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Bombay Posts: 5,770 Thanked: 331 Times View My Garage	The Official Joke thread Audi: Accelerates Under Demonic Influence BMW: Born Moderately Wealthy Camaro: Can't America Make A Real One? Chevrolet: Clutch Hangs, Every Valve Rattles, Oil Leaks Every Time Dodge: Dangerous On Days Gears Engage FIAT: Feeble Italian Attempt at Transportation Ford: Failure Of Research & Development Honda: Hell Of a Nice Damn Automobile Hyundai: Hope You Understand Nothing's Driveable And Inexpensive JEEP:Jumps Everything Ever Parked Mercedes: Most Every Red Cent Eventually Dissipates, Extinguishing Savings Nissan:Never In Synch Screeching Awful Noises Oldsmobile: Overpriced, Leisurely Driven Sedan Made Of Buick's Irregular Leftover Equipment Porsche: Proof Only Rich Suckers Can Have Everything Toyota:Taking Our Yen Out -- Thanks All Volvo: Very Odd Looking Vehicular Object

9th March 2004, 23:18	#2
v12 Distinguished - BHPian Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: Mumbai Posts: 6,666 Thanked: 6,918 Times View My Garage	hey cool jokes. i like the 16 valve one

10th March 2004, 00:43	#3
Rehaan Team-BHP Support Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: Bombay Posts: 23,714 Thanked: 31,957 Times	hahaha...yeah.funny... but i like the skoda..

10th March 2004, 01:15	#4
Dippy Senior - BHPian Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: Mumbai, India Posts: 7,425 Thanked: 1,130 Times	Yeah cool jokes GTO but like Rehaan I like the Skoda too Cheers

10th March 2004, 02:20	#5
Aditya Team-BHP Support Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: Mumbai Posts: 15,272 Thanked: 65,787 Times View My Garage	Heard most of these jokes. Most of them are really cool. They were told in Skoda's pre-VW days. Now however, Skoda has changed for the better.

10th March 2004, 12:20	#6
v12 Distinguished - BHPian Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: Mumbai Posts: 6,666 Thanked: 6,918 Times View My Garage	me too like Skoda's. but these jokes are of Skoda's cars prior to WW-II. Anyways I just checked the Used Cars section of Indiacar. theres a 2000 model 1.9 Octavia for sale. Price 10.5 lakhs. Skoda's do have a very high resale value.

10th March 2004, 12:58	#7
Rehaan Team-BHP Support Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: Bombay Posts: 23,714 Thanked: 31,957 Times	Ohok! thanks for the clarification! ;-]

10th March 2004, 17:45	#8
Dippy Senior - BHPian Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: Mumbai, India Posts: 7,425 Thanked: 1,130 Times	Hey Rehaan good jokes pal and u've just inspired me to write a joke book " The One and Only Hyundai Joke Book" by yours truly...... Contributions invited Cheers

10th March 2004, 17:53	#9
Stratos Senior - BHPian Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: Brussels Posts: 2,604 Thanked: 1,413 Times View My Garage	i have an add of skoda.. where its written besides a skoda monogram.. "Just to let u know that there is no way a magzine can put a wrong logo on a car advertisement"

11th March 2004, 00:07	#10
Rehaan Team-BHP Support Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: Bombay Posts: 23,714 Thanked: 31,957 Times	Hey Dippy, I think you mean GTO...... (unless the fact that i own an accent has inspired u ;-P ) cheers

16th March 2004, 17:34	#11
toyota BHPian Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: bangalore Posts: 148 Thanked: Once	Waiting for that Hyundai Joke Book

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18th March 2004, 15:21	#12
Shan2nu Senior - BHPian Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: Hubli - Karnata Posts: 5,533 Thanked: 119 Times View My Garage	Q. Why do people go to Skoda showrooms??? A. To "CZECH" out the cars!!! Regards... Shan2nu

18th March 2004, 15:25	#13
Shan2nu Senior - BHPian Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: Hubli - Karnata Posts: 5,533 Thanked: 119 Times View My Garage	Q. What do you call an Australian who drives a Skoda??? A. ""Czech Mate"" Boy, am i loving this. Regards... Shan2nu

6th April 2004, 18:20	#15
Dippy Senior - BHPian Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: Mumbai, India Posts: 7,425 Thanked: 1,130 Times	Hahaha I liked the Hyundai one of course Cheers