Kia – A man walks into a car parts & accessories shop and says “I need a gas cap for a Kia”. The shop assistant says ‘okay, sounds like a fair trade’.
Turtle Wax – Do you know why Turtle Wax is so damn expensive? Because turtles have really small ears.
Morris – What do you call someone who dances on cars? A Morris dancer.
Honda – How many people can you squeeze into a Honda? The bible said that all 12 disciples were in a single Accord.
Porsche – An unemployed man is on the hunt for odd jobs that he can do to earn some money. He knocks on his neighbors door, who answers and says “I’ll give you £50 to paint my porch. The paint’s in the garage next to the car.”
20 minutes later the man knocks on his neighbors door and says “All done.”
“You can’t be done already?” says his neighbor. “It should have taken you all day to paint.”
“Nope, it was easy,” says the unemployed man. “And by the way – it’s not a Porsche, it’s a Ferrari.”
A driver says to his passenger: ‘Lean out of the side window and tell me if my indicator light is working.’ His passenger leans out and says: ‘Okay… Yes… No… Yes… No… Yes… No…’
A man returns home from a hard days work and is met by his wife. She tells him that she has some good news and bad news about their brand new car. The man says, ‘Okay, give me the good news first.’ His wife replies, ‘The good news is, all the air bags works…’
I just bought a new car, which has a surround sound stereo. My wife in the front and my mother-in-law in the back.