[Jeroen]

Has anybody considered the possibility of this being a spoof message, no offence if it is not obviously.

Jeroen

[ike]

Originally Posted by tilt

My take:

Your wife went back on her word.

You cared about your wife enough to consider ways to make her feel comfortable and unafraid - but she does not care about you at all, the proof is that she's willing to even dump you out of her life forever because of this. She does not even want to discuss and try to find a workable solution.

She gave you an ultimatum that's not open to negotiation. Today it's the dog, tomorrow it could be just about anything. She's the type who cares not about you or your wellbeing, only about her own, everything else and everyone else be damned. This is not someone worth spending any effort on. Why should you care about anyone who does not give a shit about you?

Shouldn't both parties get a fair hearing before concluding like this? That's why I haven't ventured out and given an opinion here. We don't know the whole story!

[JithinR]

Originally Posted by whencut86

I won't blame her though and won't comment on the ultimatum because it is between the couple and not to be discussed in a public forum. If she is scared and finds it disgusting to live with a dog (she has every right to have that opinion), then do you suggest that she live with disgust/fear in the same house. She opted for the safer way out to avoid living with the dog. We should not fault her for this.

Nope, not faulting anyone for deciding that they can't live with a dog. After all, if you actually read my entire post it ends with a suggestion to the OP to find a happy home for the dog. I can't possibly ask a stranger to give up his spouse or blame her for her life choices. I do however think that she should have sat down and discussed this through with the OP. That is all.

Originally Posted by whencut86

And I find this fad of comparing a dog with a child unrealistic with all these dog parent tags. Not to offend anyone here but having a pet or growing a child are two different things and can never be compared. A child is much bigger responsibility compared to a pet and is a part of life and generations to come. Can't say the same for a dog.

Not commenting on this because I don't have a pet yet and looking at your thought process neither do you. But I would say leave this up to the OP and other pet owners to decide. Just like you don't want anyone judging the wife for her decision who are we to judge pet owners if they say it feels like raising a child.

[Vigkey]

Mods: I am really disturbed that this thread was even approved and left to be commented in public. This is a relationship issue and should not have a place in an auto forum like ours. We aren't professionals to give an advice and neither are we in a place to give a judgement.

If the lady sees this thread, things might get even worse for the OP. Even if he wants to continue the relationship, the lady might think otherwise.

1. OP has brought a private family affair to a public forum

2. Even after multiple posts that blatantly blames and insults the lady, the OP hasnt deleted the thread or even tried to defend the lady at any point. This is in spite of multiple requests to delete the thread.

3. To the ones suggesting that the OP should have involved the lady further, the OP is standing his ground and defending himself.

If I were the lady, I would sue the OP for publicly insulting her and seek damages.

The worst part: For all of the members giving relationship advice and suggesting divorce lawyers - We dont even know the full story. Has anyone of us heard the lady's side??

And to the one that stooped to the lowest level by suggesting to use the dog as a chick magnet and find another "chick" - mate, you don't sound like a dog lover or as a relationship expert.

[Engine_Roars]

It is indeed getting uncomfortable to read through this thread. I think it is best for the mods to delete this thread. I am surprised on how some members are suggesting divorce & such extreme measures, I am almost sure they would not go to such extremes if it were them in place of OP.

@OP - Please don't take any of these comments to your heart. I have been married for 7 years now, we have had our ups & downs, to the extent where getting married felt like the biggest mistake & on the other hand no one else can ever be what she has been to me & that is how this whole marriage thing works. Please talk to her and see how you can deal with this situation together, you are the best judge and let no one else be the judge for you.

[DicKy]

Not married.
Not a dog lover.
Shouldn't be doling out advices here, but I was expecting more mature advices than the typical doggo love advices of
"dogs are loyal than hoomans...doggo over anyone...why can't they just love dogs....who can hate them...dogs over kids..am a daddy/mummy to my doggo/cat....

Seriously? Pets over human relationships?
Remember a super old thread in TeamBHP, where there was a discussion or poll regarding "Cars vs relationships", while super naive teen me went yo-yo "cars over girls/women anyday", we all know which made sense.

This is a pretty sad situation for the OP, especially since it was a desire nurtured from childhood.
Best option is to make sure Whisky gets a new home, or if space allows, let it stay outside with clear limits to not enter the house/sections of the house.
Making a person uncomfortable in their own house is akin to chaining a dog inside a kennel for its whole life.
There can be no generational gap to the argument.

Also in the OP's wife's defense.
She might have agreed to it to give it a chance or out of respect for the OP's happiness.
But faced with the reality of sharing a house with a pet might have shocked her.
It is not some purchase of an inanimate thing, the only argument which could be regarding money or the usage/need.

This is a living being staying inside the house that needs constant attention and care.
Ofcourse it is natural for her to say no, if she is not comfortable.

Originally Posted by Samurai

If moving to individual home with a yard is an option for you, you can try outdoor dog option. Yes, most pet owners might feel it is cruelty to leave the dog outdoor. But those who grew up in rural areas know that indoor dog is a cruel concept. Dogs need to be free, they need to run wild, chasing birds or butterflies. This may be a compromise your wife might sign on to.

[girishv]

Originally Posted by Engine_Roars

I have been married for 7 years now, we have had our ups & downs, to the extent where getting married felt like the biggest mistake & on the other hand no one else can ever be what she has been to me & that is how this whole marriage thing works. Please talk to her and see how you can deal with this situation together, you are the best judge and let no one else be the judge for you.

Best suggestion and I am sure many married people reflect your views. Only happiness no fights happens only in movies/serials, not in real life. If somebody say that they never had any difference of opinion or either lying or faking their relation.

Time to close this thread and pretend it never existed. If the OP is genuine, my sympathies are with the lady.

[bblost]

Mod Note:

There has been more than enough discussion on this topic and there is nothing left to add.
For now, this thread is locked.

The OP, may report this post in future if he wishes to update us on what finally happened