[anonymous]

I agree with the point of avoiding gadgets as much as possible. My son started using my cell phone and I kind of liked it initially but later it became real pain. After playing with cell phone for sometime, he started insisting to play with laptop, TV etc and completely stopped going outside to play in play ground. I realised this soon and took some action to prevent him from watching TV, laptop, mobile etc and encouraged him to play with this toys or go in park to play. Gradually he forgot the gadgets completely.

Originally Posted by Rotorhead

If the issue is that you are saying something and he has not heard it , then it could probably be as simple as a fact that he is engrossed in something else and hasnt heard you.

This likely to be a case, most of the time he is busy in his own stuff and ignore whatever we say, however in some instances when he finishes his project, he follows but this is not the cases every time. This delay is irritating some time but I try to stay calm as much as I can but its not the case with my wife. She tends to get tempered quickly (I am victim of it some time lol)
I will give you an example - While watching Cartoon on TV, he starts playing with broom (Yes, he like to play with it all the time). At this time if I or my wife asks him to get off it and sit on the chair, he doesn't listen but as soon as commercial break comes in, he goes back to his chair.

[StarVegabond]

Originally Posted by Rotorhead

They make the world look so very beautiful with their wonderful smile and innocent and simplified outlook towards even the life's most complicated matters. They shower their love with utter selflessness and the have ability to make you temporarily forget even the worst of your sorrows with a great big hug and a kiss and blow away all your days tiredness with a single smile and the manner in which they come flying into your arms.


I have a son ,aadi (aaditya roshan), who is 5 years old and what more can I say, my world revolves around him and is truly the apple of my eye. I had the opportunity to make a lot of money staying away from him on an prolonged assignment to the US, but I gave it up just because I couldnt stay away from him even for a single day. He is just too adorable and no matter the stress levels accumulated from office and other daily activities, the moment he runs into my arms after i return home, I forget everything else and he infuses a lot of energy into me despite being totally fagged out.

Hey Rotorhead, great article

What you have written above about fatherhood is absolutely right.
It is what i call... BLISS.

I heard this from a very old uncle of mine

Infant children (<1 year) = GOD (Bhagvaan)
Childen (1+ to 12) = GOD Like (Bhagvaan jaisa)
Teens (13-19 years old) = Devil Like ( Shaitan jaisa)
Adults (20-40) = Devil (Shaitan)
Adults (40-60) = Devil Like
Elderly people (60-80) = God Like (no expectations from others)
Old people (80+) = GOD (have seen it , done it all,)

As you can see Children as either GOD or GOD like.
Enjoy their presence, enjoy your time with them.

[anonymous]

Here goes a famous quote by Chanakya and I think it stands true in today's world as well.
Treat your kid like a darling for the first five years. For the next five years, scold them. By the time they turn sixteen, treat them like a friend. Your grown up children are your best friends.

[Rotorhead]

Originally Posted by anonymous

Here goes a famous quote by Chanakya and I think it stands true in today's world as well.
Treat your kid like a darling for the first five years. For the next five years, scold them. By the time they turn sixteen, treat them like a friend. Your grown up children are your best friends.

well things have changed now my friend, the rules of the game have changed. You have to use a little bit of everything now. Kids are not the same as how they were made earlier . Now can you neither pamper them too much, nor can you treat them as kids any more. Kids are getting smarter and parents have not evolved too much in the past so many ages. The rules that applied to the earlier generation dont apply to the current lot. In earlier generations, the father was most often the strict person and the mother the softer types, but now I can observe a major role reversal, where the fathers are more relaxed with the children and the mothers are driving the child up the wall and vice-versa. We cant afford to be too strict with kids anymore, you need to scold them, pamper them, be their friend at the same time keep them reminded that you are the father to your child and not the other way around, dont give them everything they ask but also not let them feel left out amongst his/her peers. Parenting is a tough task now and peer pressure is a major issue. Most fathers (most ,not all) in previous generations were mostly the providers to the family and not much contribution towards home or children, but we have seen the entier social dynamics have changed now, where the mans and womans roles are closely inter twined and hence the role of a mother and father.

Note : Maybe my perceptions of the role of the father in the earlier generation may be skewed or wrong from others opinions and this perception stems from the fact that I was not brought up in a metro or city , and somewhere down the line it was typical middle class family where the father was the sole provider and he was forever always struggling with loans , school feels, blah..blah..with whatever little money that they were getting paid in those days. But then probably thats the system that works, since the kids in those days were very happy playing gulli danda or marbles, or a simple snack made by mom was worth much more than MacDonalds and KFC. Kids were content with one toy which they cherished for years together, rather than have hundreds of them and still want for more and more.

[anonymous]

Originally Posted by Rotorhead

well things have changed now my friend, the rules of the game have changed. You have to use a little bit of everything now. Kids are not the same as how they were made earlier . Now can you neither pamper them too much, nor can you treat them as kids any more.

That is an interesting thought Rotorhead. Another point is one person, either mother or father, should be more friendly to the children compare to other one so that child can feel some comfort level at home and can share his views and thoughts with this person. What do you think?

[Rotorhead]

Originally Posted by anonymous

That is an interesting thought Rotorhead. Another point is one person, either mother or father, should be more friendly to the children compare to other one so that child can feel some comfort level at home and can share his views and thoughts with this person. What do you think?

rather than one person being strict and other being friendly, its just that both of the parent have to decide on what matters are acceptable and not acceptable. For example, telling lies, bad manners, grabbing toys or food from other kids, bullying other kids etc ..in such cases both parents need to be strict. We cant have one person only taking a stance on such things and kids will easily find a way to get behind the person who is more friendlier. Having said that, it depends on the level of strictness one enforces, you always have to have that one person whom the child can seek comfort if he/she has done something is wrong and one of the parents is reprimanding the child for the same. Never force the child against the wall and leave him with no one to turn to. Somewhere somebody has to take a neutral stance and try to nicely put forth the points to the child.

[PatienceWins]

Great article RotorHead. Thanks

[mohang_j]

Originally Posted by Rotorhead

Note : Maybe my perceptions of the role of the father in the earlier generation may be skewed or wrong from others opinions and this perception stems from the fact that I was not brought up in a metro or city , and somewhere down the line it was typical middle class family where the father was the sole provider and he was forever always struggling with loans , school feels, blah..blah..with whatever little money that they were getting paid in those days. But then probably thats the system that works, since the kids in those days were very happy playing gulli danda or marbles, or a simple snack made by mom was worth much more than MacDonalds and KFC. Kids were content with one toy which they cherished for years together, rather than have hundreds of them and still want for more and more.

The typical middle class family scenario most of us seen / experienced.

[silversteed]

I'm single, having a long way to go before I get to your level, Rotorhead. But I found your article very informative and worth reading. In fact it's a must-read

Originally Posted by mohang_j

The typical middle class family scenario most of us seen / experienced.

+1 to that

[crn12]

Good one rotorhead, you have very well penned it down.
Today one must bring discipline in the child, & also make sure that its not just discipline all the time, there has to be a balance of being friendly, open & good thoughts communicated to the child.

[Rotorhead]

One more tip for people who travel long distances on public transport often . I used to travel a quite often with my child to my hometown either by bus or trains and I have almost every time faced issues with bed bugs and uncomfortable seats.

• always carry a bug repellant (ticks and bed bugs etc). But please consult your doctor for a suitable one for the children. I use odomos since my son did not have any kind of allergies for this ointment. But some kids might develop allergies, so kindly check.
• For much smaller children who have to be put to sleep on lap, its advisable to carry very small mattress which you can get custom made which are very light and adequate length. It can be fit in a small plastic cover . Believe me it gives a very comfortable sleep for both parents and the child. Spread the mattress on both your laps and the child can sleep full stretched out and is much relief compared to if the child was to sleep all cramped up with only one parent. It also helps when you are travelling by car and you can spread the mattress on the lap of the occupants of the rear seat and have a much comfortable journey. Believe me, as the child starts getting bigger and heavier, it really becomes difficult to manage while travelling.
• Since a few of my visits involved going to relatives place or hotels for weddings and other family occassions, i always carry a mosquito repellant. It helps everyone. Especially it really helped on my recent visit to chennai. Btw, Chennai folks , hats off to you guys to be able to put up with these humongous mosquitoes. They are big and there are just too many and the stings are very painful. The bangalore ones are much more humane(ironic for a blood sucker isnt it ??he..he..). The chennai ones are totally supercharged and are high on some kind of dope seems like..man..they are seriously hyperactive types and pack a real punch when they sting..
• Again while eating out in the restaurants , tell the waiter/cook to avoid MSG in the dish. It seems most chinese dishes have these.
• as far as possible avoid the oily food. Most places the oil used for frying are used multiple times over. I generally go for tandoor/cooked over open fire such as tikkas or baked stuff.
• For those frequent power cuts keep an emergency lamp and if possible a small battery operated fan ready.

on that note, can some one tell me where can i download bedtime stories from the net. ?

[silversteed]

Originally Posted by Rotorhead

... Btw, Chennai folks , hats off to you guys to be able to put up with these humongous mosquitoes. They are big and there are just too many and the stings are very painful. The bangalore ones are much more humane(ironic for a blood sucker isnt it ??he..he..). The chennai ones are totally supercharged and are high on some kind of dope seems like..man..they are seriously hyperactive types and pack a real punch when they sting..

Er... Am going The mosquitoes in Chennai are immune to most of the repellants. When I was in a PG accommodation (with my friends) that was a few hundred metres away from the Buckingham canal, near to TIDEL Park, we had to try a cocktail of repellants - Goodknight (mat + liquidator) + All-Out + Mortein Coil + Agarbatti + Burning Goodknight mats - in order to get some respite from these deadly mutated creatures. We even started finding out the best places to get treated for Malaria and the like.

The best option - a mosquito net

[MuraliR]

Rotorhead - i would suggest that you buy a set of the ACK comics - In addition to being a visual treat to kids, they can double a bed-time stories too.

Talking of mosquitoes in Chennai, have you seen the lizards there?

[Rotorhead]

Originally Posted by MuraliR

Rotorhead - i would suggest that you buy a set of the ACK comics - In addition to being a visual treat to kids, they can double a bed-time stories too.

Talking of mosquitoes in Chennai, have you seen the lizards there?

the mosquitos are the size of honey bees, so i assume the lizards will be the size baby alligators. Apparently there seems to be a whole lot mutation happening in chennai.

Btw are you aware of any shops in bangalore where i can get these. I will try in sapna to check.

[haithereitsme]

Originally Posted by Rotorhead

the mosquitos are the size of honey bees, so i assume the lizards will be the size baby alligators. Apparently there seems to be a whole lot mutation happening in chennai.

Btw are you aware of any shops in bangalore where i can get these. I will try in sapna to check.

My uncle's got a house with a huge garden (we call it rain forest), Lizards are super humongous (more like crocodiles).

on the topic, we are working towards a kid and my wife is an artist. She has decided to let the kid show its creativity on the walls. If it goes out of hand, I might be painting relatives houses over the weekends to remove our kids creativity.