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Beware!- Nanny turns baby boys into womanisers! - Indiatimes: Picture Story

[sbraj]

Originally Posted by anonymous

When my 4 years old son watched 3 Idiots, he started imitating the famous line "God Tussi great Ho, Tohfa kabool karo". He did it all the time in front of guests, other children in society and it used to put me and wife in embarrassing situation. We tried to convince him not to do it but he just wouldn't listen. So we simply started ignoring him, no reaction whatsoever from us. Gradually he stopped doing it. Thank God.

My son too is fascinated by that movie. He keeps saying Chatur's line "I kept my promise and I'm back" to me. Not sure whether this is his way of telling me that I always reach home late.

Originally Posted by WindRide

Its the society around us that influences many of our decisions. If that results in 'male chauvinism' then so be it.

To repeat - child needs its mother during the initial years. Fathers just plays a supporting role.

Even in the liberal western world, it is an accepted norm for mother to take a break from career after delivery and return to it once the child is older (say, at school-going age).

I don't think there are right or wrong answers here. Each family would come to a decision based on their priorities.

For some, providing a good education to the child may be higher priority and thus, the mother may opt to return to work at an earlier stage itself. From short term point of view, child needs the mother. But from the long term point of view, if the mother working results in better path for the kid, what is the harm?

To each, his own.

[benbsb29]

Originally Posted by S_U_N

My 14 month old son does exactly what we ask him *not* to do. I wonder if all little ones are like that - doing contrary to what we say. (not always but many times)

At close to 16 months, my daughter exhibits the same behavior, so not to worry. I guess its more to do with their inquisitiveness.

My daughter likes to switch on and off the switches in the house she can reach. After trying to stop her from doing it, we then decided to seal the sockets, leaving just the switches which she now enjoys as a clicking toy.

[anonymous]

Originally Posted by S_U_N

My 14 month old son does exactly what we ask him *not* to do. I wonder if all little ones are like that - doing contrary to what we say. (not always but many times)

Atleast this is what my experience has been with my son. So do not worry, as he grows, he will learn all this. One thing to remember is kids watch their parents very closely and follow them blindly. So you need to be extra careful while doing anything in front of him.

[kalpeshc]

Originally Posted by benbsb29

At close to 16 months, my daughter exhibits the same behavior, so not to worry. I guess its more to do with their inquisitiveness.

My daughter likes to switch on and off the switches in the house she can reach. After trying to stop her from doing it, we then decided to seal the sockets, leaving just the switches which she now enjoys as a clicking toy.

I've tried all tricks in the book to stop my 18 month old son doing the same. I initially tried to tell him that it's not safe to touch by telling him that the switches are 'hot' to touch. He called my bluff easily. I then tried explaining to him that it hurts by touching the switch and acting hurt ! He kept looking at me and coolly touched the switch as if to say 'Get real dad !!' Then i tried in a stern high voice which stopped him once or twice. After that he started doing it when i was not around. I tried putting sockets, but he started removing them as he was curious to know what it is !

I have no further tricks now and just let him do it. But without fail everytime I do tell him not to and that it's not safe hoping that someday it would register with him.

[S_U_N]

Wow! so I am not alone with the switches things. My son knows how to switch on and off the fan in one of our rooms.
He also knows how to open our main door when I return from office. We need to put a double latch there.
What games/ learning tools are recommended for a 14 month old?

[S_U_N]

I don't know if there is a more suitable place to post this...
Nevertheless, I am looking for a few places where kids can play games, have rides, and have fun. This would generally be indoors at some malls where there is dedicated place for kids or outdoors such as Appu Ghar etc.
Location: Pune.
Any pointers?

[deky]

Originally Posted by kalpeshc

I've tried all tricks in the book to stop my 18 month old son doing the same. I initially tried to tell him that it's not safe to touch by telling him that the switches are 'hot' to touch. He called my bluff easily. I then tried explaining to him that it hurts by touching the switch and acting hurt ! He kept looking at me and coolly touched the switch as if to say 'Get real dad !!' Then i tried in a stern high voice which stopped him once or twice. After that he started doing it when i was not around. I tried putting sockets, but he started removing them as he was curious to know what it is !

I have no further tricks now and just let him do it. But without fail everytime I do tell him not to and that it's not safe hoping that someday it would register with him.

Originally Posted by S_U_N

Wow! so I am not alone with the switches things. My son knows how to switch on and off the fan in one of our rooms.
He also knows how to open our main door when I return from office. We need to put a double latch there.
What games/ learning tools are recommended for a 14 month old?

I have realised with my 2.5 yr old daughter that if she does things mentioned above is just to ignore her and not to react in any which way. I think when we react it becomes a game for them and they want to do it again and again. And if we dont, they soon loose interest and think of doing something else.

[sbraj]

Originally Posted by deky

I have realised with my 2.5 yr old daughter that if she does things mentioned above is just to ignore her and not to react in any which way. I think when we react it becomes a game for them and they want to do it again and again. And if we dont, they soon loose interest and think of doing something else.

With my 4 year old son, if I tell him not to do something, he will intentionally do it again and again. Even if I igonre, he will continue to do it, to grab my attention.

So, these days I started telling him the logical reasoning behind it. He is then obeying, and even telling his grand mother and others not to do such things. If they do, then these are the dangers and so on.

With different kids, it works in different ways.

[clevermax]

Originally Posted by benbsb29

My daughter likes to switch on and off the switches in the house she can reach. After trying to stop her from doing it, we then decided to seal the sockets, leaving just the switches which she now enjoys as a clicking toy.

Originally Posted by S_U_N

Wow! so I am not alone with the switches things. My son knows how to switch on and off the fan in one of our rooms.
He also knows how to open our main door when I return from office. We need to put a double latch there.
What games/ learning tools are recommended for a 14 month old?

When my daughter was 9 months or so, she learned how to turn on the normal switches of lights / fans etc. Now that she is 14 months, she figured out how to turn them off too. Now it's a game for her, but we make sure that there are no plug sockets in the switchboard she's operating. Actually only one switch board is accessible to her from bed.

Now I just need to say 'turn on the fan' and she wil do it! A cute thing to watch now since she knows exactly which switch to flip, but I know it will become a headache after some more time.

Last week, she figured out which button on the TV remote to press, to turn on the TV. We've been showing her different animals on the Animal planet channel as she loves to watch them, yesterday I saw a very interesting thing - she was standing there looking at the TV and saying "mammae... vaaa!" (asking for a cow to show up) again and again. We turned channel to animal planet, and luckily we could show her a herd of mountain goats.

[aargee]

Originally Posted by S_U_N

My 14 month old son does exactly what we ask him *not* to do. I wonder if all little ones are like that - doing contrary to what we say. (not always but many times)

Originally Posted by sbraj

With my 4 year old son, if I tell him not to do something, he will intentionally do it again and again. Even if I igonre, he will continue to do it, to grab my attention.

Well, I learned this behaviour of children about 15 years ago with my Uncle's kids & hence I knew how to overcome & its proving with my Son

Originally Posted by sbraj

So, these days I started telling him the logical reasoning behind it. He is then obeying, and even telling his grand mother and others not to do such things. If they do, then these are the dangers and so on.

Exactly Raj; I second you on this approach as I've been following this since my Son was born.

Actually I hit upon this idea when I came across this story & I learned what to say to kids. Its like saying "No" to the child but in a different way, like, "Yes, play with switches, but watch out for electric shock, doctor, medicines". But this approach has its own cons, not sure Raj if you're experiencing this (appreciate if you can share), my Son questions a lot; a real lot of serious question & seeks explanation for every wink of an eye!!!

Another thing that I learned was to speak with infants right from they start listening; I mean the real talking that we do normally & not in their infant language. This way the kid learns the language faster & also starts speaking affluent at very early age.

[vivekiny2k]

all those who are trying to control kids' behavior, you can try two things.
1. tell them you will take away somethign from them (TV, time in park, aythign else which has been promised and is a dear part f their life) if they do it again. And don't let them bluff you out. if they do it, really take it away. Usually works.
2. Take something else away anyway. Keep them involved in that for 5-10 minutes. Once you create a bigger problem, they will forget about the smaller problem. I think it's called diversion and distraction in shrink speak. But after 5-10 minutes, you should have taken the opportunity for smaller problems away too, else they will return to it.

[aargee]

Originally Posted by vivekiny2k

tell them you will take away somethign from them (TV, time in park, aythign else which has been promised and is a dear part f their life) if they do it again. And don't let them bluff you out. if they do it, really take it away. Usually works.

100% true; I do this & it works; and what happens is that my Son cries saying he needs. So how I carry this out is in series of steps
1. Tell him gently that doing so & so causes this & does he wants to land up in such a mess. So he says no
2. Second time when he does it, I remind him about step 1 & tell him that if he does it again something related to him & his activity will be blocked. Then I make him understand by asking him to repeat & he does.
3. Third time he does, take the plunge & do the action by blocking. Now when he cries, I ask him as why I've blocked & trust me, he promptly admits his mistake. So I tell him that I forgo this time, but next time, I'll never yield to his cries. Trust me he never repeats for the fourth time. I guess I'm going to fail miserably with my daughter for all these

Originally Posted by vivekiny2k

Once you create a bigger problem, they will forget about the smaller problem. I think it's called diversion and distraction in shrink speak.

Yes very true have tried this when he cries out loud on certain occassion but was not very effective.

[deky]

Originally Posted by sbraj

With my 4 year old son, if I tell him not to do something, he will intentionally do it again and again. Even if I igonre, he will continue to do it, to grab my attention.

So, these days I started telling him the logical reasoning behind it. He is then obeying, and even telling his grand mother and others not to do such things. If they do, then these are the dangers and so on.

With different kids, it works in different ways.

Or maybe your son is old enough to understand logic? Because my daughter at 2.5 yrs does not understand any logic, for her it becomes a game to grab attention. I guess she will start understanding that too.

[aargee]

Originally Posted by deky

Or maybe your son is old enough to understand logic? Because my daughter at 2.5 yrs does not understand any logic, for her it becomes a game to grab attention. I guess she will start understanding that too.

@Deky - My son is 2.5 too, trust me it works. It depends upon how much you're influential.

My worst nightmare to happen will be the same logic working with my Son doesn't work with my daughter. You see something fundamentally is different from boys & girls, if I yell at my daughter she laughs, whereas my Son at the same age used to cry!!!