[ajmat]

Lets just say my relatives are too scared to ask me to lend my car to them. Those whom I trust, have no problem asking.

[abeerbagul]

I generally refuse by quoting the repair costs to the person asking. E.g. a broken bumper costs 25000 to replace, an outside rear view mirror above 10k, a scratch cannot be repainted because the dealer does not have the exact shade of red in stock.
Also most people know how obsessive I am about maintaining my vehicles so they dont mind.

But if I am riding in the car with the driver, I dont mind if someone takes over the wheel for a small amount of time, but only if I have personally seen how that person drives his own car.

[sudeepg]

I have always maintained a distance and a language which tells others how careful I am with my car and how well I maintain it. There are a few people I trust though with my car, a handful of them because I have seen their driving and they know how I maintain my car. I do happily give them my car for short distances. But long distances is an absolute no; no matter what the outcome.

My policy is simple - I rather not have friends and relatives who doesn't share my passion for my car and its upkeep. Relationships don't have to be based on whether you are willing to lend your car to others.

[NevGin]

Originally Posted by ajmat

Lets just say my relatives are too scared to ask me to lend my car to them. Those whom I trust, have no problem asking.

You took the words right out of my mouth Ajmat. Relatives? My family knows never to ask me for my car. My advice is to come upfront and say it to them in those many words. Nothing works better.

[Altocumulus]

I never give the car or bike to anyone if I am not there with them on the drive . I am totally blunt with that. Only maybe to a couple of friends, whose cars I have driven a lot when I did not have one. I cannot say a no there. So I make it a point nowadays not to take any one else's car (specially who may ask for mine).

However I somehow am much more careful when I am driving else's car. It's more of empathizing with that person as to how he may feel if I spoil his car.

I even asked a prospective buyer of my Esteem to stop the car and get out because he was driving badly during the test drive.
On the face ' I don't want to sell you my car' and drove off

[ajaypjayaraj]

I think the people who knows me would be worried to ask my cars for they know the kind of care and passion that goes into their (not its) ownership, usage and upkeep. I have never had to face this problem. Kind of like what ajmat said. And agree to sudeepq too like there are a few, very few guys whom I trust with this.

If its a no, its a no and there is a reason for it. Not because we don't like to share, but because not every one can understand the big deal about taking care of a car like us enthusiasts. Relationships don't have to be based on it. It is better to lose a relationship by being careful to prevent damages and losses rather than after suffer damages and lose that relationship anyways. And believe me, when you say a no, even if there is some discomfort, that is just temporary, for you as well as for whoever it is you denied it, if they do really care about the relation with you. After giving your car and God forbid an issue crops up, that is not going to be temporary or a mere discomfort atleast for you for sure. That has more chances of causing permanent damage to the bond than saying a no in the beginning.

[hothatchaway]

venuvedam - there is no easy way of saying this, but your cousin is a boor. Someone who demands a relative's 1 million+ rupee car as a matter of right and then boasts of having it ridden roughshod over broken roads needs to be told so to his face

Hope you have learnt your lesson...

[ampere]

Originally Posted by venuvedam

however, it has come to a point where my refusal would have a deep impact on the relationships and I had to give in.

I think the quoted statement should not hold good. If lending your car is a basis of your relationship, I think the premise itself is flawed. Certain things you just say loud and clear.

People who dont appreciate the value of what you hold, will surely not give due respect to your possession. And on top, it also shows "I value my possession and to hell with yours". If he can have such a view, so can you ! And of course if you trust some one, you will always lend him/her. But even in such cases (i.e. if some one trusts me), I would still try not to ask.

[Jeroen]

i used to be pretty relaxed at lending my cars to friends and family. However, I've become a little bit more careful and here is why. I'm not sure how it works in India, but this is what happened to me in the Netherlands

I have always owned multiple cars and they were all insured in my name. Some fully comprehensive and some just third party. Next to that I had company cars, that were technically insured in the name of the lease company.

I haven't had an accidents in many years. But my wife and my kids have. Nothing big, just several minor and not so minor fender benders. All with my cars and on my car insurance policy. To be fair to them, not even all the accidents were their fault.

When we were in transition from our Kansas City posting to our Delhi posting we were in the Netherlands for several weeks and we bought a Ford Fiesta for my wife and my Jaguar from the US was brought to the Netherlands as well. So I had to insure both. What should have been a simple online car insurance purchase turned into a bit of a nightmare. All Dutch insurance company keep records of everything and they even exchange data on accidents and involved policy holders.

Long story short, they claimed there had been to many accidents with cars registered in my name. The fact that I hadn't caused any of the accidents and that some of the accidents were third party fault did not matter. So they refused to insure my cars. They also claimed they had written to me on this, but that letter must have been posted shortly after we left the Netherlands for our US posting and I never received it as far as I can recall.

So that was a very unpleasant surprise. Because if you get rejected by one insurance company, you will be rejected by all. There are ways of obtaining insurance, but it will be third party only and it will be hugely expensive.

After a lot of digging I did manage to find several flaws in their accident records, so eventually I did manage to get all cars insured. But it was a royal pain.

So, I have become a little bit more anxious to let even my kids use my cars, let alone friends and family.

Jeroen

[tharian]

Originally Posted by venuvedam

Now, in comes a cousin with an atrocious proposal - that I should give them the XUV for a long drive (1200 kms trip). I have successfully thwarted such proposals in the past by stating various reasons. however, it has come to a point where my refusal would have a deep impact on the relationships and I had to give in.

Hope your cousin reads this thread and understands that you treasure you car as a family member.

Lending my bikes/car is something which I never enjoyed doing. The main reason being when it is returned to me and driven, I know and can feel it is not as how it was before. Maybe it was more physiological, but it is not a good feeling and it takes some distance for it be as good as before .

I don't mind lending them to people who I know that relate to a vehicle like how I do , since then they will enjoy the ride/drive rather than just borrowing it for transport.

As a mark of appreciation, I always return the vehicle with a full tank and good wash , if it was dirty, if I borrow someone's vehicle.

[tsk1979]

Originally Posted by venuvedam

I don't care if it damages relationships.

Any relation ship weak enough to be broken by a no is not worth having.

[humyum]

I am a kind of a person who will exit the car and remove a small stone while exiting a parking lot of a mall if I see one rather than make my car run over it. I watch the road for nails so that my tyre does not get punctured and brake for every small pothole on this planet. During our trip to Ladakh, my friend said he will reach faster walking from Srinagar to Kargil and Kargil to Leh as I would go at 1 and 2 kmph over bad roads.

Coming to the topic, I don't trust anyone to take care of my car like I do, maybe its a phobia, maybe its bordering mental illness but I am so possessive about my car that I call my dad 100 times the day he decides to take it somewhere. Everyone around me knows about this and no one ever asks me for my car. I don't mind taking anyone for a trip and being a driver from Kashmir to Kanyakumari, but if its my car, I drive. Period.

[jfxavier]

Even my own brother had not driven my earlier car which I had for more than 3 years and even the present one.
The only other person who drives my car is my friend who runs a garage, before/ after the maintenance jobs and to test in between if I suspect anything.

[Eddy]

I refused to lend my newish digital camera to a friend but felt really bad afterwards. It did not affect us, but I will not do it again given a choice.

Now don't kill me but guys your car is a machine ... lend it to someone who needs it if you are reasonably sure that (s)he will use it responsibly. I will, and do.

[VW2010]

Rule 1 - Dont lend if you dont like to
Rule 2 - Discuss rules if you are ok with lending
Rule 3 - After Rule 1 and Rule 2 are skipped and you have already given the car. Now take full responsibility. This means you know you have consciously given the car and you have not set any rules or standards or any repair agreement.
Rule 4 - The favor you have did has its own way of payback. And you will be pleasently surprised to be worried now.

These are my rules. I usually stick to rule 1 to everyone that i never had to visit other rules. Even my closest of friends have never had a chance to ride my Bull in the last 10 years. No relationship is broken. But i have been always blunt so people know to expect a NO from me.