[iliketurtles]

Originally Posted by fordday

Man, reading through the para quickly I thought you meant to sell your wife. Don't know what's happening to my reading capabilities.

Please don't feel offended. I just felt like putting it down here what I felt

hahaha, none taken. Revisiting it, I can see why that ambiguity might occur, given my phrasing.

There's little to no chance I'd sell the wife, as she really is my (much) better half. Hope she doesn't read this, or I'd never hear the end of it.

[itwasntme]

Originally Posted by iliketurtles

“Do you mind if I see it, just the tip?”

Saar, can you share some pictures of your tip(s)?
How are they hanging on and how much was the outlay? I'm looking for similar ones for my 3.

[iliketurtles]

Originally Posted by itwasntme

Saar, can you share some pictures of your tip(s)?
How are they hanging on and how much was the outlay? I'm looking for similar ones for my 3.

In any other context, I would be very wary of responding to such posts. I'll let this one slide :P

I'm going to preface this by simply saying the most honest thing I can; I am not entirely happy with how this turned out. The tips are holding up fine, and are of good quality (although I did have to return once to have them redone after they got loose and started rattling), but they are too large and jut out far too much for my liking. For the record, they cost me 5000 for a pair.

No, my hands aren't that small. The tips are just that large.

They do look a bit like the barrel of a gun protruding from the butt of a Bond car, so there is that, if you're a Bond aficionado, I guess.

Maybe If I get a large rear diffuser, it'll compensate greatly, and these will then look the business. But I'm not keen on splashing out on that, because one needs to draw a line in the sand with these things. If you don't stand for something, you'll fall for anything and all that.

This counts as one of the two mistakes I consider I made with the car (the other being a no-name exhaust I slapped on from a friend of a friend way back in the day, a lesson I learnt the hard way). But you live and you learn, and all that.

What would I suggest for you, then?

If I could turn back time, I'd do it right and get BMW's OEM tips. If that's a bit too rich for your taste, I'd look at something like these, from ECS Tuning.

If you still wish to go down the road I took, measure the damn things and do the math to try and see how it'll fit (not my strongest suit, #YOLO).

That's my time, man. Peace out.

[itwasntme]

Originally Posted by iliketurtles

...but they are too large and jut out far too much for my liking. For the record, they cost me 5000 for a pair.

If I could turn back time, I'd do it right and get BMW's OEM tips. If that's a bit too rich for your taste, I'd look at something like these, from ECS Tuning.

They do stick out too much . And the OEM CF ones are much too pricey. I found these:

https://www.ecstuning.com/b-genuine-...e/18308485758/

[iliketurtles]

Ever played a game of Whack-A-Mole?

For the uninitiated, the premise of the game is very simple; as the player, you are given a large, black mallet. You are the god of small things, and have the power to whack moles as they pop up from one of five or more holes from within the bowels of a cabinet. You gain points for whacking each random mole as they appear. The faster, the better, as with (almost) all good things in life.

Why do I say this? It’s quite simple. I hypothesise that owning a decade old BMW is akin to playing a game of Whack-A-Mole at the arcade. Except, sometimes you’re the God wielding the hammer, and sometimes you’re the mole with the wrath of an angry god rained down on you.

No sooner than you fix one issue, than another crops up. Be it a cranky oxygen sensor…

…or the car deciding to become an art aficionado and treat me to a permanent art display at all times…

I offer you Exhibit A: the white screen of death

…Or the car pining for me because it was in a workshop for a few weeks, and looking out for me by asking me to recharge my batteries. Thanks car, but I just got back from a vacation.

What’s that, I hear you ask? Why was she in the workshop for a month? Excellent question. As always, allow me to go off on a tangent before arriving at the point.

Luck is a four-letter word, just one letter removed from some other, rather dismal four-letter words. Such as yuck, suck, and so on. You can fill in the picture.

And when you’re down on it, you’re just absolutely out of it. Fate (that fickle mistress) decided to commence the annual ritual of me being dealt a rotten hand during Diwali night’s teen patti party early this year, giving me a head-start on my misery as Diwali started with a bang.

One fine day, a rickshaw barrelling out of a lane decided that the car was so pretty, it deserved to be snogged, right in the rear left three-quarter, with some scratches left for posterity after its passionate love-making came to an end. Of course, our paramour ran away before he could be caught red-handed.

And then, barely had I recovered from this, when a biker weaving his way through traffic (why is it almost always a biker?) snagged a footstand or kickstand or something sticking out of his bike in the front bumper, dislodging it as he went off on his merry way. To say my festive mood was foul would be a bit of an understatement.

I didn’t lose any money during the annual teen patti party though, so, yay?

Even with zero depreciation insurance, the insurance company (Royal Sundaram, whom I shall never give any business to henceforth) found some way or the other to finagle their way out of taking on responsibility for making me whole, and insisted I pay for 50% of charges for a new bumper.

With Navnit BMW almost wholly unsupportive (despite having taken the policy from them) in this matter, I’ll be damned if I gave them the business if I had to pay at any rate. That Navnit took their own sweet time giving the car back is a pain point I will gloss over, much like how Royal Sundaram glossed over taking on any kind of responsibility for holding up their end of the bargain. What good is a zero dep policy where you have to pay 50%, anyways?

And so it came to pass that I got her fixed up outside, at my trusty workshop (Redline Autohaus is a godsend), and was told to simply drive her hard to charge up the battery, which had worn down from being at a standstill for so long. An Italian tune-up, if you will. I haven’t done enough of that in recent years, so I didn’t need a second invitation.

Is she a 100% right now? No.

The screen is on order (OEM, none of those Android versions please).

Memories of the rickshaw wala still resonate, via a clamp or so on the exhaust that is loose at the rear left.

And I got the battery charging notification once or twice in the interim, but not for a few weeks now. And I’m on fixing these niggles. Truly.

But all those concerns melt away when I get to drive her (like, properly drive her, like she’s meant to be). At the wheel, I feel like the Whack-A-Mole God out for a drive, with the power to put the hammer down and dismiss mere mortals as you fly by in a blur. Bystanders often ask; Is it a crimson bird? Is it a low-flying plane? No, it’s a BMW that has been idiotically lowered too far for our roads. But mein gott, does she look great as she flies by. And even beyond that, she just feels dynamite when pushed hard, with dynamics on point that don’t betray its decade old vintage one bit. Those lowering springs do make their presence felt in extremis.

After all, what is love without pain? It is the latter that gives meaning to the former, and it is what we all crave at the end of the day. Love, that is, not pain. Unless you’re a masochist, in which case the opposite is true. No judgment, love takes on all forms. Including a flaming red, low riding German bahn-stormer that needs a lot of pre-emptive TLC to play its part. But you’ll hear no complaints from me, for love conquers all.

Until next time then.

[sandeepmohan]

Originally Posted by iliketurtles

…or the car deciding to become an art aficionado and treat me to a permanent art display at all times…

Looks like the screen has a tendency to pack up on this model.

I got a more colorful experience and as soon as I bought my car from the second hand market. It happened within 10 days of taking delivery and the dealer was super helpful. The swapped the screen free of charge. Been working okay for the last 17 months.


Your car is an absolute beauty.

Another thing to keep an eye out for are the vapor barrier on this car. The seals fail and you end up with water in the footwell during a heavy downpour or even a pressure wash. I had this fail on 3 door panels. It is a DIY job but you need trim tools and some patience to sort it out. There is a Styrofoam kinda material behind the door card. The glue that holds them fails and they come off. Once that happens, water makes its way into the door card and at the bottom. As usual, BMW have known about this and did not issue a fix of any kind in all the time this car has been on sale.

[iliketurtles]

Originally Posted by sandeepmohan

Looks like the screen has a tendency to pack up on this model.

I got a more colorful experience and as soon as I bought my car from the second hand market. It happened within 10 days of taking delivery and the dealer was super helpful. The swapped the screen free of charge. Been working okay for the last 17 months.

That is very pretty to look at

It seems these screens can give up the ghost, and I have a somewhat similar story. The previous owner used one of those gel perfumes in the car and probably kept it on the dash. On a hot day, it must have evaporated and mingled with the screen, creating this modern art.

They were very upfront about this issue at the time I was buying the car (not that they could hide it, mind you), but I lived with it while trying to find one of the larger 10.xx inch screens from an F15 gen BMW. Apparently they can fit with some retooling. I even found one, but it was a bit chipped, so passed up on it. Gave up that hunt, and going for a simpler 8.8” inch screen now. Let’s hope these last!

Originally Posted by sandeepmohan

Your car is an absolute beauty.

Thank you sir, much appreciated.

Originally Posted by sandeepmohan

Another thing to keep an eye out for are the vapor barrier on this car…

Yikes! That does not sound fun. I’ll keep an eye on them, even though I haven’t experienced this so far, touch wood. Here’s hoping it stays that way!

[megazoid]

Originally Posted by iliketurtles

does she look great as she flies by. And even beyond that, she just feels dynamite when pushed hard, with dynamics on point that don’t betray its decade old vintage one bit. Those lowering springs do make their presence felt in extremis

These skirmishes are inevitable if its a daily driver in our over crowded land but happy to note that you like to push the car and work those lowering springs. Any drive videos that we can oggle at?

[iliketurtles]

Originally Posted by megazoid

These skirmishes are inevitable if its a daily driver in our over crowded land but happy to note that you like to push the car and work those lowering springs.

Absolutely. I've learnt to get over nicks and scratches fairly quickly as they develop, it's part and parcel of the car ownership ordeal. But some things just hit you harder than most, no pun intended.

Originally Posted by megazoid

Any drive videos that we can oggle at?

I have to admit, I'm not one to take a lot of videos or photos (nothing like the stuff you come up with, at any rate!), and I don't have much by way of footage. I barely put the dashcam to good use, truth be told.

But since you asked so nicely, I trawled through the phone and came up with a few pearls (?)

Here's a shot of the 3'er shot from Tanveer's POV. It's a view he gets to see more often than he'd like or admit.

https://youtu.be/2LZmAbB5sAQ

I'm sure you'd agree that piloting a tight handling car through Maharashtra's ghats during the monsoon season is one of life's great pleasures. Here's one of many illogically videos shot on the phone...

https://youtu.be/Y5gDWBTDrbQ

...some of which I put together on the phone, and came up with this.

https://youtu.be/hS_zK-6HyiI

Please excuse YouTube taking the unilateral decision to make my videos look like it was shot using a potato.

[McLaren Rulez]

Originally Posted by iliketurtles

Even with zero depreciation insurance, the insurance company (Royal Sundaram, whom I shall never give any business to henceforth) found some way or the other to finagle their way out of taking on responsibility for making me whole, and insisted I pay for 50% of charges for a new bumper.

And what was the excuse? If you have the time for it, please do report such cases to the appropriate insurance ombudsman.

Your business is worth something but it might hurt them a bit more if there were an entertaining and well-written TBHP thread about the incident that makes it to the homepage. It's what I'd do but I'm spiteful like that...

[gururajrv]

Man, I adore your way of writing

But, I detest those who damage that beauty! Trust me, your car somewhat looks quite unique in it's own way. Could be that lowered stance / the wheels / the mean looking blacked out grille? Regardless, please continue to entertain us with your witty writing skills!

[adi.mariner]

Originally Posted by sandeepmohan

Another thing to keep an eye out for are the vapor barrier on this car. The seals fail and you end up with water in the footwell during a heavy downpour or even a pressure wash. I had this fail on 3 door panels. It is a DIY job but you need trim tools and some patience to sort it out. There is a Styrofoam kinda material behind the door card. The glue that holds them fails and they come off. Once that happens, water makes its way into the door card and at the bottom. As usual, BMW have known about this and did not issue a fix of any kind in all the time this car has been on sale.

Apologies for going off-topic. Can you tell me more about this? I have been having water trickling into the passenger footwell in this year's extended rainy season. The car is a 2013 X3 (F25).

[TheGearBox]

Originally Posted by iliketurtles

Ever played a game of Whack-A-Mole?

I hypothesize that owning a decade old BMW is akin to playing a game of Whack-A-Mole at the arcade.

You know, your Whack-A-Mole analogy made me think you had decided to move on from the 3. But I'm glad to see that you're not so risk-averse and Red continues to endure. Which means there will be many more witty updates to come.

[iliketurtles]

Originally Posted by McLaren Rulez

And what was the excuse? If you have the time for it, please do report such cases to the appropriate insurance ombudsman.

The damage to my front bumper was on the front right, next to the headlight assembly. Their reasoning for not taking on full responsibility and replacing it with a new bumper (as they should have) was that there was some damage to the bumper below the grille on the front, on the bottom of it. And since it had happened an indeterminate time before I lodged this claim,and I never made a claim to fix it, it somehow invalidated any kind of claim for a new bumper. Made no sense to me, as the two incidents were not plausibly linked in any way whatsoever. Their arguments were full of holes, and so I left the conversation at calling them something ending with holes, and moved on.

Between being asked to foot 50% of the bill for the new bumper +paint and labour, I was looking at a cool 40-45 grand payment (since it's an M-sport bumper). So I gave them a tongue lashing and the proverbial finger, and promised myself not to subject myself to them again.

I don't have the time or the inclination to report this to any kind of ombudsman, frankly. We all know how the gears of all things official in India turn, and I don't have the faith in such legal machinery nor the appetite for being crushed in its machinations. The mere thought of it tires me.

Originally Posted by McLaren Rulez

Your business is worth something, but it might hurt them a bit more if there were an entertaining and well-written TBHP thread about the incident that makes it to the homepage. It's what I'd do, but I'm spiteful like that...

I would like to imagine I already have penned my thoughts on this in a tongue-in-cheek, if fleeting manner! I really don't wish to make a specific post dragging them through the mud on here. I've seen too many of those, and don't fully identify with taking that route. It's not my style, I just put my thoughts down here for posterity and honesty's sake.

But, I will devote some time to making sure those in my immediate social circle don't sign up with them (Navnit Thane's insurance team or Royal Sundaram), because that will hit them where it hurts. I've already rebuffed their team when they called me for a renewal, and made one person change their decision to do so as well. May he be the first of many more. I'm just petty, not spiteful

Originally Posted by gururajrv

Man, I adore your way of writing

Thank you sir, I appreciate it. Always feel good to know there's an audience for my peculiar style of prose!

Originally Posted by gururajrv

Trust me, your car somewhat looks quite unique in its own way. Could be that lowered stance / the wheels / the mean looking blacked out grille? Regardless, please continue to entertain us with your witty writing skills!

I think it's a combination of all those things, really. The colour, which is one of the nicer ones they sold on the F30 and unique in its own right, combined with the stance, OEM wheels, body kit, and blacked out bits make it menacing.

If I were so inclined, I'd add spacers and more exterior carbon fiber bits, but that would just be a very wasteful activity at this point in the ownership cycle. I'm gonna just fix her up nice at my trusted workshop and keep the show rolling.

Originally Posted by TheGearBox

You know, your Whack-A-Mole analogy made me think you had decided to move on from the 3. But I'm glad to see that you're not so risk-averse and Red continues to endure. Which means there will be many more witty updates to come.

Who's to say I haven't moved on! Yes, I do have one eye on the horizon, but it's all a question of timing. Honestly, it's hard to move on from this car. It's a daily driver that's a tower of power, which can dart about with a fleetness of foot when you want it to. And it's just the right size as well.

Ticking off all those boxes, and improving on the formula is simply not easy, especially in a car world gone crazy for SUVs. Options are severely limited for thrill seekers, as some of us can attest. That's not just on account of crazy pricing, but simply the options before us.

For instance, I drove the C-Class just yesterday. Fantastic car, great NVH, fantastic build quality, feature packed, and quite fetching to look at. But 70 lakhs or so OTR is crazy for a 2 litre diesel, no matter how nice it is on the inside or how rorty it sounds. I just can't justify it. Audi's off the table for me personally (their steering is way too numb for my taste), and so that just leaves old faithful in Munich. So I will move on in good time, for sure. But not just yet. Red shall endure for a little while longer.

Either way, my foolishness will not be in short supply on here, of that I can assure you, good sir. Like Leo Di Caprio in Wolf of Wall Street, I'm not leaving. The show will go on, for better or worse.

[v1p3r]

Your red car, the Bandra pictures, the teen-patti stories, and your way with words all remind me of a certain Bandra boy, who scaled new heights of hilarity on this forum with his YetiBlogs.