[Darkviper]

Fantastic read as always! I have reported your post, but only to take it to hot threads of course.

What’s wrong with daily driving a ///M car? What could possibly go wrong? (As the immortal Jeremy Clarkson would say)

[Sreesh1009]

I was just thinking about this thread and "boom" you posted. Karan, you're lying man! Your car looks like it was bought yesterday! There's no way it's 8 years old!

While I was reading the last few paras of your thread, I thought you were going to drop a hint about your next steed but that wasn't the case.

I know you want an M3, but (just asking, don't get mad at me) would you consider the new X3M (runs!)

Another amazeballs post!

P.S

[lamborghini]

Brilliant update!
I really need to get down to penning one for my 3 as well!
Hoping she serves you well for the years to come, even with an SUV in the garage.

Originally Posted by Darkviper

What’s wrong with daily driving a ///M car? What could possibly go wrong? (As the immortal Jeremy Clarkson would say)

A friend has been driving his F90 M5 as a daily. In a few months, it will have probably been driven more than my 8.5 year old 328i.
No issues as such, but you'll have to deal with more boy racers, attention, will have to wait for parts (things as simple as a windshield has to be imported), and have a healthy bank balance to support the wear and tear - as performance parts will get worn down quicker.

[iliketurtles]

Originally Posted by Darkviper

Fantastic read as always! I have reported your post...

Oh no...

Originally Posted by Darkviper

...but only to take it to hot threads of course.

...oh, yessss!

Originally Posted by Darkviper

What’s wrong with daily driving a ///M car? What could possibly go wrong? (As the immortal Jeremy Clarkson would say)

Absolutely nothing wrong, it's the dream! But the running cost would be astronomical (I'd grin and swallow that bitter pill). The bigger issue is the roads (or lack of it) in and around Maharashtra, bud. I cannot drive a lowered 3 with peace of mind, always have one eye on the next pothole or crater in the road. As Cobain once caterwauled, "something in the wayyyyyyy". Imagine how worried i'd be with an ///M. I'd be left with a bloodied front lip every time I take it onto a bad patch of road.

And then, the bigger issue is the lack of premium fuel stations. I can think of 2-3 stations I trust for 97/99 in Bombay. Range anxiety is no fun to live with, but the upsides of an ///M would far outweigh it. So says 15 year old me. Let's see what mature me says when the time comes.

Originally Posted by Sreesh1009

I was just thinking about this thread and "boom" you posted. Karan, you're lying man! Your car looks like it was bought yesterday! There's no way it's 8 years old!

Oh, stop, you flatterer, you. But go on.

Originally Posted by Sreesh1009

While I was reading the last few paras of your thread, I thought you were going to drop a hint about your next steed but that wasn't the case.

Too soon, too soon. Won't upgrade for a year or two at least all else being equal. Yes, sometimes life makes plans for you while you're making your own plans. But I don't foresee my plans changing unless something seismic comes along.

Originally Posted by Sreesh1009

I know you want an M3, but (just asking, don't get mad at me) would you consider the new X3M (runs!)

I would, yes. But I've always seen an SUV as anathema. I like cars that go well in a straight line, and around corners. SUVs will almost always struggle to fulfil that second part of the brief. I'm an old dog now, it'll be hard for me to learn new tricks. But again, never say never. Even if I just said never twice.

Originally Posted by Sreesh1009

Another amazeballs post!

Thank you, thank you, thank you. If only social media currency had monetary value...

Originally Posted by lamborghini

Brilliant update! I really need to get down to penning one for my 3 as well!

Thank you saar. Get around to posting your thread! You know you've got some tasty tidbits on your ride that will make for compelling viewing.

[itwasntme]

Clearly then, the writing is on the wall, and it grows ever harder to make a case for the good ol’ sedan. But I still firmly believe life is best experienced and infinitely more exciting when flying low, hurtling around corners, G forces pulling at the G strings of your heart.

Your updates are eagerly awaited by mundane posters like myself . Being one of the dwindling fast sedan tribe, I feel like the last of the species turtle contemplating a lonely life!

However, as you prepare for the ritual slitting of the wrists, do check if BMW India will bring in the M340i - 3.0 inline 6 cylinder, AWD and a massive 382 bhp/ 500 Nm and something you can tune to 500+ bhp. I guarantee your society will sanction you when you cold start on wintry mornings.

https://www.roadandtrack.com/new-car...-m340i-review/

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3TnAZEc_grM

[DieselAnna]

Just repeating what everyone here said, we all are a fan of your writing skills sir. Please take a bow!

On a different note, I stay next to the building where you work in Goregaon. I have seen your Beemer multiple times in the morning/evening enter/exit the lane when I leave/come back. Many times in the past I had seen your Black Jetta parked in the lane with that TBHP sticker. And I always used to wonder which TBHPian would park his lovely car in such a narrow lane!

I have missed ogling over your car in the pandemic scenario as I saw that the offices are shut in that building.

Your update is very refreshing indeed and it shows in your writing that how much you love your car.

Hope I stop you next time when I see you next (wink wink).
Cheers!

[iliketurtles]

Originally Posted by DieselAnna

Just repeating what everyone here said, we all are a fan of your writing skills sir. Please take a bow!

Thank you sir! Ego massages are always nice.

Originally Posted by DieselAnna

On a different note, I stay next to the building where you work in Goregaon. I have seen your Beemer multiple times in the morning/evening enter/exit the lane when I leave/come back. Many times in the past I had seen your Black Jetta parked in the lane with that TBHP sticker. And I always used to wonder which TBHPian would park his lovely car in such a narrow lane!

Such a small world. Yes, it's a narrow, narrow lane, but one must do what one must! I did some jugaad and ended up giving chai paani to some guys at the corporate park across the road in exchange for a parking space. Best part? They gave me a parking spot on the podium, and the car was always in my line of sightThat's what I call a win-win situation.

Originally Posted by DieselAnna

Your update is very refreshing indeed and it shows in your writing that how much you love your car.

I am quite smitten indeed. This 3'er ticks a lot of boxes for me, and some unticked. But that's a good thing, it gives you some elbow room for whenever you want to move up in life!

Originally Posted by DieselAnna

Hope I stop you next time when I see you next (wink wink).

Please do! I'd be more than happy to stop for a spot of snacks and chai, and chat away.

[DieselAnna]

Originally Posted by iliketurtles

Please do! I'd be more than happy to stop for a spot of snacks and chai, and chat away.

Sure Sir! Also, please feel free to stop me for a Hello (I am a 30 something guy with a Blue Scross Alpha/Brown Tiago XZA which has a LTD/TBHP sticker in the back). We can surely work on our Social skills

[Moontan]

Originally Posted by itwasntme

https://www.roadandtrack.com/new-car...-m340i-review/

https://www.Youtube.com/watch?v=3TnAZEc_grM

Ooooh! She very noice! Me want!

[Breathe2drive]

Awesome write up. Your red beauty indeed looks so young and pretty. She's exceptionally beautiful and well maintained. No wonder we all are attracted to her so much

Man you inspire me to buy my dream car 3

[iliketurtles]

Originally Posted by Breathe2drive

Awesome write up. Your red beauty indeed looks so young and pretty. She's exceptionally beautiful and well maintained. No wonder we all are attracted to her so much

Thank you sir.It's very heartening to be on the receiving end of bouquets rather than brickbats.

Originally Posted by Breathe2drive

Man you inspire me to buy my dream car 3

In the words of Picard, make it so. We live just one life, it's too short to drive boring cars.

[Capt.Arun]

Hey iliketurtles!

I had just joined the forum as a member just a few days ago but I've been glued to the forum for almost a decade.

I was always fond of your quirky writing style which makes for an engaging read indeed.

Now that I can partake in all of this, first off I wanted to let you know that I have thoroughly enjoyed your threads and responses.

Keep at it Sir!

[iliketurtles]

Originally Posted by Capt.Arun

I had just joined the forum as a member just a few days ago...now that I can partake in all of this, first off I wanted to let you know that I have thoroughly enjoyed your threads and responses. Keep at it Sir!

Thank you, Captain Saab, and may you have a rollickingly joyous ride on Team BHP!

Now, we interrupt our regularly scheduled programming to bring to you some news updates.

Paisa fekh, tamasha dekh

It’s that time of year again, when everyone wants your attention, bombards your inbox, and calls relentlessly with cheer in their voice. Yes, it’s time to renew my insurance. Yipee-ki-yay, mother fathers.

I’ll keep this brief (really, I will). The car is now entering it’s 9th year, and so I was pleasantly surprised when the BMW rep offered me a zero depreciation policy as an option alongside the usual comprehensive one. Below are both quotes, in case you’re suffering from insomnia and are struggling to sleep, or are just the insufferably nosy and curious type.

Tata AIG's Comprehensive policy


Future Generali's zero depreciation policy

I thought long and hard about it, and went with the zero depreciation policy from Future Generali (haven’t ever taken a policy from them, but hey, there’s always a first time). After much wailing, bangle smashing, and clutching of feet, the BMW guy got fed up with my antics and dropped the final quote to ₹56,000 exactly.

I am as mystified as you are as to how they dropped so low, especially when I paid about ₹76,xxx last year for a zero depreciation policy. But why look a gift horse in the mouth and all that. Cry a bit, pay up, drive hassle-free.

Christmas cheer

It’s also that time of year when there’s a bit of festive cheer in the air. Even if all the ladies religiously avoid me under the mistletoe, there’s still inevitably a bit of a spring in the step and a buoyancy of spirit, Covid’s harsh reality notwithstanding.

I’m resigned to Santa stuffing great big lumps of coal in my stocking this year, so I decked up the car instead with this solitary decoration up front to freshen things up.

Here’s to better times for us all in 2021, and lots of christmas-sy treats being stuffed in my face over the next few days. May love, light, and Joy be yours.

[iliketurtles]

And now, time to interrupt our regular programming to bring you a special guest appearance by a very dear friend.


My next guest needs no introduction

Is that…: Yes

Let me finish: Sorry, my bad

Is that Tanveer’s 530d?: Technically, not anymore

Oh god. Is it yours now?: No, amigo

Then whose is it?: Sorry, I don’t kiss and tell. Unless you’re Scarlett Johansson. Even then, I don’t get beyond the former

So what are you doing with it?: Driving it, Einstein

Where to?: Goa. Where everything tastes better, and the prawns drive me crackers

Why?: Because 2020 was weird

Srsly tho. Y?: Because variety is the spice of life. And why are you typing like a juvenile delinquent?

So, inevitably, you might have questions. I hope that the extremely elaborate FAQ above answered most of it, but I know that’s a lot to take in. Which is incidentally the same thing I say to myself every time I see my wife land up home with all her shopping bags in tow. But stay with me, and I’ll try clearing this up as quickly as I can.

Prelude

My spectacularly brilliant decision to lower the 3 is what led me to this point of my life. While it remains fantastic to drive, the low state of being ensures it bottoms out on some speedbreakers and that, coupled with the low profile tyres, can be quite a pain to manage over non-existent Indian roads. But you’re smarter than me, and already knew that. Don’t do drugs. It leads to mistakes like this.

Mind you, I’m stupid and pig-headed. It’s a deadly combo. But the missus is a smart cookie. She doesn’t like the raw nature of the 3 for our multiple annual pilgrimages to Goa. And so, she cajoled me into asking a common friend to lend me the 5 (specifically, this 5) for a few days.

This would not only ensure the missus would be a happy camper, it would give me a chance to pitch its many virtues to her in a real-world setting over 1000+ kilometres. Amazingly, my friend of large stomach and heart agreed to swap cars for a bit. And so, I found myself at the controls of this rocketship, a course firmly keyed in to India’s state of eternal sunshine.

Torque dirty to me

So, given Tanveer and I are very different people, how would I describe this tower of power, especially when weighed up against the 328i?

Now, granted, the 530d is a stage 2, and so it needs to be viewed from that lens. But the breadth of its performance astounded me. My 3’er is a stage 1 pushing nearly 300 horses, but the 530d is just a level up in performance , rippling with beefy muscle that’s intoxicatingly alluring.

Comfort mode is just a smooth, linear stream of power, akin to being cosseted by fair damsels as they feed you a steady supply of grapes, or any other fruit of your choice really. Sports mode unlocks a level of deranged enthusiasm that is just not sane and almost certainly illegal in every Indian state. I played footsie with full throttle for only fleeting moments, such is the ferocity of the mid-range on offer.

Conversely, understeer was a bit vexing at times, doubtlessly a side-effect of the mass up front. Where the 3’er happily darts into corners, the 5’er needs to be corralled into action on occasion. A rag doll sports sedan you can throw around it most definitely is not. Respect this rorty Rottweiler, and it will not bite you in the derriere.

Business suit paired with running shoes

I don’t generally find myself entering Goa at about 6:00 am, but the curfew scuppered many a plan, mine included. And so I found myself shooting towards Amboli ghat at that time, with nary a soul on the road. And the big, burly 5 was just such a joy to throw around in the near empty twisties.

Sure, you had to be wary of that big lump up front (the engine, not me), and feed power in properly lest I get understeer, but that massive wave of torque made it so easy to keep it in the powerband and hustling from corner to corner in a way a car this big had no business doing.

What also struck me was the cocoon-like nature of the 5, in the way it isolated you (no pun intended) from the outside world, cushioned you from bad roads, speed bumps, and all other such nasty things out there waiting for you. It was just so refined, mature, and evolved in a way that was alien to me, and yet instantly welcoming.

This car really is a jack of so many trades, and it does them all superbly. The sheer breadth and depth of its expertise was staggering, in a way that is impossibly infatuating and alluring. This is a Teutonic titan that really does tower over all.

So how did she fare?

Flawlessly, in a word. It did not put a foot wrong anywhere, so to speak. The only oddity was a rubber beading above the front windshield that came a bit loose and was tap tap tapping away on the bodywork from time to time, especially when I was in full flow. Cars like this make you question why people need SUVs for urban commutes and highway inter-state travel. When you can have a car that looks like this, goes like this, and rides like this, why would you choose to get high, in an SUV of your choice?

To paraphrase Kipling, this is a car that can walk with kings, yet not lose the common touch. With it, I felt near unassailable, easily filling the unforgiving minute with sixty seconds worth of distance run. This car is a wondrous thing of beauty, and a joy to behold. But don’t take my word for it, below are some pics for you to feast your hungry eyes on.

Happy New Year, you filthy animals. I hope your celebrations were fabulous this year even if you were Home Alone. May 2021 be filled to the brim with high-octane thrills for us all.

A quick, rubbish pic clicked en route. Please don't judge me. It gets better, I promise.


Just throwing some shade


What a poser. That derriere is equal parts boot and booty




My geometry teacher would be so proud to see me using acute angle like this


This was the spot from Dear Zindagi. And yes, it's wildly popular for photoshoots!




For the kitna deti hai public. This was 60% sports, 40% comfort, 100% awesome

[TheGearBox]

Arre, I missed you again! And this time with an even deadlier beast!
But, oh well. Social distancing is the norm right now, although it was blatantly flouted in Goa during New Year's