[Sreesh1009]

Wow! Just wow! The pictures and the post itself is like Bread and Jam, no that's too cliché, I'll look for a better duo and get back to you xD.

Could you please tell me where I can find such large hearted friends? Who'd be willing to swap cars!

The 5 Series has had my heart since forever. It's an all rounder and delivers in every damn department (drive, looks, comfort etc). I'm only 18 but hope to own one very soon (part of the Wishful Thinking club).

When you'd said that a 5er as a tourer would be a great option, I honestly thought you were being sarcastic but boy am I wrong. This car can do it a 1000%.

All the best to you man! And keep the posts coming

[iliketurtles]

Originally Posted by TheGearBox

Arre, I missed you again! And this time with an even deadlier beast!
But, oh well. Social distancing is the norm right now, although it was blatantly flouted in Goa during New Year's

You said it right! Don't you worry though, I keep on making this pilgrimage every few months, I'll swing by soon enough. This whole trip was a bit under the radar. Always a next time bud!

Originally Posted by Sreesh1009

Could you please tell me where I can find such large hearted friends? Who'd be willing to swap cars!

Step 1: Log into Facebook
Step 2: Search for "sexy singles near me"
Step 3: ????
Step 4: Profit!!

Originally Posted by Sreesh1009

The 5 Series has had my heart since forever. It's an all rounder and delivers in every damn department (drive, looks, comfort etc). I'm only 18 but hope to own one very soon (part of the Wishful Thinking club).

Dream it, do it bud. If 15 year old me were told I'd be driving a Bimmer not many years later, he'd have laughed at the messenger. Work hard, play harder. All will come in good time.

Originally Posted by Sreesh1009

When you'd said that a 5er as a tourer would be a great option, I honestly thought you were being sarcastic but boy am I wrong. This car can do it a 1000%.

I fully believed that statement, not a doubt for a second. And this trip only cemented that belief. It scraped just once on the whole trip, in a friend's building on a huge speed breaker. Had to happen the one time, I guess.

Originally Posted by Sreesh1009

All the best to you man! And keep the posts coming

Cheers, man. I will. Regularly scheduled programming will soon resume.

[frewper]

Originally Posted by iliketurtles

For the kitna deti hai public. This was 60% sports, 40% comfort, 100% awesome

Turtle boy.

Your style of writing is hilarious. I always love reading them and it always makes my day. Long time ago it was Sam's threads that I always looked forward to and now its yours.

More threads pleaseeeeee!!!

[TheHelix0202]

Awesome car, lucky you. Also, love your quick wit and humor man! One of those few rare writers that can have us thinking deeply at one time and chuckling with mirth at another.

Happy New Year, you filthy animals.

(P.S: have a cookie for this)

[4nd3r50n]

I thought long and hard about it, and went with the zero depreciation policy from Future Generali (haven’t ever taken a policy from them, but hey, there’s always a first time). After much wailing, bangle smashing, and clutching of feet, the BMW guy got fed up with my antics and dropped the final quote to ₹56,000 exactly.

The photo shows a quote from Royal Sundaram and not Future Generali. So I'm assuming you bought the insurance from Royal Sundaram. Or is the image wrong and you wanted to post the quote from Future Generali and instead posted Royal Sundaram?

[iliketurtles]

Originally Posted by frewper

Turtle boy.

Long time ago it was Sam's threads that I always looked forward to and now its yours. More threads pleaseeeeee!!!

That is some big, big praise, and huge shoes to fill. Not sure I’ll fit them, I’m a size or two smaller. Many thanks anyhow bud. Will keep things rolling.

Originally Posted by TheHelix0202

Love your smashing good looks, quick wit and humor man!

(P.S: have a cookie for this)

Thank you, thank you, thank you. I accept said cookie with much love, gratitude, and hunger.

Originally Posted by 4nd3r50n

The photo shows a quote from Royal Sundaram and not Future Generali. So I'm assuming you bought the insurance from Royal Sundaram. Or is the image wrong and you wanted to post the quote from Future Generali and instead posted Royal Sundaram?

You got me! By the time I returned to correct my faux pas, the editing window had lapsed. Yes, the final policy was of Royal Sundaram. Apologies for the confusion, 4nd3r50n. I see you take being alpha and alpha-numerals very seriously.

[Breathe2drive]

Originally Posted by iliketurtles

So, given Tanveer and I are very different people, how would I describe this tower of power, especially when weighed up against the 328i?

Loved every bit of your experience you had with the 5.

It would be great if you could compare your 328i and 530D. Also, on paper, the GC of 328i is 165mm while that of 530D is 158mm. Is it the same experience you had practically with the 2 Bimmers(before you lowered your 3)?

Keep writing, it enlightens and makes us smile at the same time.

Enjoy your witty style of writing.

[iliketurtles]

Originally Posted by Breathe2drive

It would be great if you could compare your 328i and 530D.

On almost every count you can think of, the 530D is objectively better than the 328i. It's more fuel efficient than the 3'er, it's got better range, it's more luxurious, it's got all the toys you can desire, the sound insulation is top-notch, and it's more comfortable to boot as well. On the topic of boot space, the 5 has a bigger booty than the 3, and gobbled up all our luggage and then some more just for fun (although the 3'er is compromised by having a space saver taking pride of place in the boot). The adaptive LEDs are also far, far more advanced than the Xenon's on the 328i. So yes, the deck is heavily loaded in favor of the 5, and I would absolutely pick it over the 328i, all else being equal. It is as close to the perfect everyday car as you can get in India.

Where the 328i scores over the 530d are a few areas that are of subjective interpretation.

Size matters

I can throw the 3 around in a way that I just simply can't with the 5. Be it while weaving through in-city traffic or darting down the highway, the 5 does make its size felt. The 3 is just more nimble and agile, plain and simple.

Interior space

Hilariously enough, the 5 is less spacious on the inside than my 3. No joke, I was acutely aware of the lack of leg space behind me when I adjust the driver's seat to my position (I'm about 5 foot 11). It was a big part of the reason Tanveer sold this car, which brings me to my next point...

Have a seat

Adjusting the seat in the 3 to my liking, there's still enough space to seat someone behind me. Same for the G30 530d. I just couldn't find the perfect seating position in the F10 530d since I didn't want rear passengers to feel like sardines in a tin can. The 5 forces you to ask rear passengers if legs really are that essential, and unfortunately it is. Bummer, I know.

Aural pleasure

The 3 liter beast at the heart of this monster sounds pretty good for a diesel, especially in sports mode when you allow it to really clear its throat and sing the song of its people. But the N20 with a catless downpipe and great exhaust will sound even better. I had the good fortune to drive a stage 3 328i with a full Armytrix exhaust and it sounded absolutely mega. It was like angels having an orgy. That aural aspect is the one area diesels will not be able to touch a great petrol engine.

Originally Posted by Breathe2drive

Also, on paper, the GC of 328i is 165mm while that of 530D is 158mm. Is it the same experience you had practically with the 2 Bimmers(before you lowered your 3)?

I think ground clearance is an overrated aspect of owning a car, but in my opinion it is not an issue at all with the 530D. I had no issues on the non-lowered 328i either, except for a few terribly designed speed bumps and steep ramps. Let's just say that 8-9/10 times, it will not be an issue, and the upsides of that stock ground clearance far outweighs the negatives of a few scrapes every now and then.

Originally Posted by Breathe2drive

Keep writing, it enlightens and makes us smile at the same time. Enjoy your witty style of writing.

Muchas gracias, amigo. Will do.

[TheHelix0202]

Originally Posted by iliketurtles

It was a big part of the reason Tanveer sold this car...

Wait, he sold it? When? I was under the impression that he lent you the car...unless he sold it after this trip of yours...?

[iliketurtles]

Originally Posted by TheHelix0202

Wait, he sold it? When? I was under the impression that he lent you the car...unless he sold it after this trip of yours...?

Nah, he sold it a few months ago. It's made way for a new ride that I'll let him reveal. In fact, I think he already has, on the 530D's thread.

He sold it to a common friend of ours, who I borrowed it from for this trip. In fact, thanks to this lockdown, I've driven the car more than him since he bought it some time back!

[iliketurtles]

Rejoice, earthlings, for I have crawled out from under the rock whence I had taken shelter.

My first order of business was to dust off my dusty, creaky, near decade old laptop and surf the world wild web. A few clicks and clacks and a spinning beach ball of death later, I had arrived at my destination. Team Bee Ech Pee.com.

Or was it? I had to do a quick double check, because I noticed one of the popular threads pondering if you were an ASS man, or otherwise. I had to quickly double check that I hadn’t opened anything risque by accident. Oddly, I hadn’t. This really was the question being posed; ASS, or FNG: which do you prefer?

Now, so long as my ride is of a certain age, I am well and truly an ASS man. The well-rounded nature of abilities on offer ensures it’s generally the go-to option. But as with all things in life, if you want some great ASS, it comes at a hefty price. A pound of flesh, if you will. Which is when it makes sense to evaluate the road often less taken, and go with an FNG ji.

Now, I’m very, very lucky to have a great FNG close at hand, and so when it was time to unleash the wrench monkeys on my car, it was a no-brainer to lay off the ASS. Honest confession: I haven’t seen the inside of one for a few years now. FNG’s have been my go-to choice for quite some time, as I shall now proceed to explain why.

Ae G, Oh G, Suniye FNG ji

A few among you might remember I had changed the rear brake pads in Goa when things got a bit hairy on a trip down there. Almost a year later, I was still on that set of Roulund’s, but the squeaky, creaky, sub-par performance from them were doing my head in. As if a sign from the car gods, the front brake pads (EBCs) crashed in range from 10000 kms to 1000 kms in the course of a Pune trip. That, coupled with the car needing a routine brake fluid check, meant I gave her in for a brake pad change to my favorite FNG, Redline Autohaus.

And since I did send her in, I coaxed and cajoled my way into setting right a few wrongs on the car, which included,

• Fixing the stuck motor of the right hand side external rear view mirror, which sounded a lot like that guy going “AAH AAH AAH AAH AAH” from Eminem’s ‘Just lose it’ every time I tried to lock the car

Observe the dog-eared like appearance rendered by the single folding mirror

• Fixing a broken mount in the headlight assembly that caused the right hand side headlight to be a bit limpid and point downward. This severely impacted the throw of illumination, as you might imagine, and was part of the reason I didn’t take her to Goa on my last jaunt.

Note the saggy exterior headlight...


...Vs. how it should be. This is a common age-related issue, referred to as erect-light dysfunction

Generally, Redline is busier than Saki Naka pre-lockdown, with many of Mumbai’s pretty young (and sometimes classic) things making a beeline for its doors. But somehow, miraculously, a window of work opened, and everything got done within the span of 2-3 days. Remarkable. And, which is more, Red gets home delivered to me post 8 PM. Even Swiggy or Zomato can’t do that these days, given the new lockdown in place.

As always, the work was top notch, without a single thing to fault. For the money minded among you, the entire work (for the brake pads, sensors, skimming the discs, labour, and fixing the jerky mirror and droopy headlight) came to 52,xxx. I'm certain the pads alone at BMW would have cost me close to 50 big ones, and that they would have chortled and asked me to replace the headlight and mirror, rather than repair it, all the while having dollar signs in their eyes. Joke's on them. I'm stupid, but not that stupid.

And that, ladies and not-so-gentlemen, is why I am no longer an ASS man, and I’ve never looked back.

Now go, like Batman, and mask up. Stay safe, kick ass. Ciao.

[iliketurtles]

It’s been a crazy old 18 months or so for everyone across the world, and like most of us, our cars too have been cooped up at home. Waiting for a chance to get off this crazy rollercoaster ride that we’ve all been on, and onto the highway of life, redlining to glory, back to a time when one could ‘suck, squeeze, bang, blow’ without a worry about lockdowns curbing time on the open road.

I managed to squeeze out some time recently and stretched the 3’ers legs for the time in what really has been ages. Amusingly, it seems you can take the German out of the garage, but you can’t really take the German out of the garage. About halfway into my drive to Pune, I felt that distinctive ABS shudder out of nowhere on the expressway, and it turns out it was an ABS sensor’s final death throes.

Luckily, I knew of a good shop in Pune not too far from where I was headed, and after giving the guys at Mechanix Automotive a call to confirm they could organize the part pronto, I headed over to get the car scanned (divining exactly which sensor had passed on to the automotive afterlife is not in my long list of superpowers). The scan revealed the rear right as the culprit, and an hour or two later, I got a confirmation that a stork had delivered one freshly baked sensor to the workshop.

Ab ki baar, ABS ka vaar

All in all, it took just 30 mins or so to fix the faulty sensor, and the guys at Mechanix were top-notch to deal and chat with. Would easily recommend them to anyone, and I hope I meet up with them in happier circumstances next time.
The car performed flawlessly post this little operation, and it was a pleasure to drive this bad boy (girl?) back home given I’ve switched it over to a diet of XP95. She was so much more responsive even when putting the gearbox in sports mode while the drivetrain was kept in Comfort, and it was just always in the middle of the power band with oodles of power on tap, even more so than normal. I found myself giving my right foot a regular workout, and I wish the high speed stretch of road never ended.

Amazingly, I checked the mileage just out of curiosity once I got her back home, and the return trip saw me get about 11.5 kilometres to the litre, which is pretty impressive given I didn’t go easy on her and wringed out the revs at almost every given opportunity.

Sated, but hungry for more, I stepped out with some of my usual partners in crime for the formerly customary weekend drive, and we were greeted by some spectacular vistas along the way, which just ensured we stopped to smell the proverbial roses every so often.

I can confirm that the hills were alive with the sound of music

And, of course, no highway drive would be complete without seeing some quirky messaging on the rear of a random vehicle, and the car gods did not disappoint.

No, I don't think I will

I spoke of the four pillars of the combustion engine earlier, but really, more than that, it’s the freedom of the open road, power on tap, the emotional attachment of driving with mates, and your favorite music soundtracking your day that makes me miss driving so much. I wish we could just time travel to the future, when things get smoothed over and we’re all safe as can be. But until such time as that happens, or until I finish working on my time machine, it’s time to stop vaxxing lyrical, and stay safe at home. See ya when I see ya. Ciao.

[iliketurtles]

Some things are just better enjoyed together.

Meandering, meaningless drives and pouring rain.

Hindi movies and needless censoring.

Steaming hot vada pav and a cup of soul-warming chai.

Netflix and elaborate chill sessions.

A glass brim full of cold milk and some cookies.

BMWs and faulty sensors are not one of those things. Barely two weeks or so after replacing a faulty ABS sensor (rear right, if you must ask) another one decided to kick the proverbial bucket.

The good news: I am now an expert at not panicking when I see this pop up on the display, knowing fully well that it’s just a faulty sensor that needs to be swapped out. It is an annoyance though, like a needy child constantly pawing at you for attention. It becomes increasingly hard to ignore over time, and its insolence does make you grow weary.

This is what sensor seppuku looks like

Still, it’s a good thing that I have a great garage a somewhat lengthy stone’s throw away, and that they can fix this issue quicker than you’ve finished reading this. Truth be told, she’s been a fairly reliable steed (with some 43000 kms on the clock now), and these cussed sensors have been the only thorn in my tushy. It’s a good thing that it’s easily removed, and life can begin to smell like roses again. Until the next sensor decides to commit seppuku.

Until that time, drive safe and stay safe.

[DeKay]

Out of curiosity,
How many ₹ does a single ABS sensor set you back by?

[iliketurtles]

It varies from garage to garage, but it's about 5500-7500 at an external garage, and about 10-12k at BMW from what I last remember.