[iliketurtles]

Originally Posted by corner_craver

This is an epic thread! I was giggling all along at work when most other were grumpy or downright miserable. I didn't want to leave work in the evening, for want of finishing the last 3 pages!

I cannot begin to tell you how much messages like these warm my cold heart. It almost makes being a Scrooge all year round worth it.

Originally Posted by corner_craver

I even thought maybe now is the right time to move back to India, buy your Red monster and settle down in Pune!

Calm down, calm down. I admit, I did do a good job penning this, but I didn't write that well either.

Originally Posted by corner_craver

Till now I was of the opinion F30 is where BMW ruined it all.After reading your thread, BMW gave a whiteboard to the inner child in us to build BMW the way we want.

Well, yes, and no.

The F30/F10 showed BMW deciding to chase the moneybag of the mass market, and went too soft. It's a decision they corrected with the G20/G30 to a great degree, so that's something they did get wrong.

But in their quest to go wide, they engineered a reliable and practical car which (like you correctly said) is a great starting point to build something.

Originally Posted by corner_craver

Hope the red monster finds a loving and caring home as yours! and looking forward to hear your new buy and all the mods to unravel.

I'm sure I'll find someone soon enough. I've already got a few solid leads off Team BHP (haven't listed anywhere else, as yet), so fingers crossed. There'll be movement soon.

[vividhavasthi]

I remember feeling the same way when I sold my first car before moving back to India after completing university. Detailed every part of the car myself. Had tears in my eyes as I saw the new owner drive it away.

[v1p3r]

Roses are red, I love this thread.

I look forward to your next acquisition, and many more miles of entertainment.

[Annibaddh]

Originally Posted by iliketurtles

Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a Lana Del Ray Album to tune in to.

Goodbye, Red. You were loved and will be missed.
[/i][/center]

Ah goodbyes. Evil capitalist plot to down the world. For they often come wrapped in a masochistic joy - the hope to own another toy.

I myself have never been able to say them well. Why else would a 2004 Hero Honda still be parked in my driveway in Jaipur. Even the speedo rolled over twice and then gave up, but not me. And then there’s the i10. @35K her legs still itch to go out and run even if the clothes don’t quite match. 14 years of Sunday runs showing their effect. And what even do I say about the Vento - my own personal James Andersen. 161000 wickets and still a turning up for morning meetings everyday. I hate goodbyes. And love sticking it to the man.

So Imma’ head out to some Bob Dylan prose and hit the road today, just as a tribute to your Red. Happy goodbyes my man.

[iliketurtles]

Originally Posted by vividhavasthi

I remember feeling the same way when I sold my first car before moving back to India after completing university. Detailed every part of the car myself. Had tears in my eyes as I saw the new owner drive it away.

It’s a bizarrely bittersweet feeling. As I’ve edged closer to sealing the deal in the last few days, I’ve been fairly sanguine about things. Except for when I woke this morning and suddenly realised I’m one day closer to D-Day. No matter. As one chapter closes, another begins.

Originally Posted by v1p3r

Roses are red, I love this thread.

I look forward to your next acquisition, and many more miles of entertainment.

Melbourne is Red,
Tanzanite is Blue,

When all is done and said,
I love writing for guys like you.

Rest assured I’ll do something kickass on whatever car I go with next. It’ll have to be a muse for creative musings, after all.

Originally Posted by Annibaddh

I myself have never been able to say them well.

There is something deeply admirable about ownership stints that long in today’s day and age.

Get around to penning your thoughts at some point, man. Great prose is never prosaic, and I sense your inner Wordsworth screaming to jump out.

Originally Posted by Annibaddh

So Imma’ head out to some Bob Dylan prose and hit the road today, just as a tribute to your Red. Happy goodbyes my man.

I don’t know why it gives me such joy when someone tells me anything on these lines. I get a serious dopamine hit out of hearing my crazy ruminations sparking something like this.

I’m gonna enjoy the time I have left with Red for sure, before I send her off into the sunset. It’s been a good run, as I hope you had on the open road.

[iliketurtles]

Car-ma: It’s very real

I’m not a fatalistic guy in general, but when it comes to all things automotive, I am a huge believer in car-ma.

Be it in the manner I sold the Jetta back in the day after just one fateful meeting (with a dealer who was fair, if you would believe such a Unicorn exists).

Or in the manner in which I closed the deal to buy the 328i after cutting short what was to be one of the most expensive Sunday maalish sessions in the history of Bombay.

Or the manner in which I closed the deal to sell the 328i after just one brief sortie with the man who proved to be the next human at the helm. On a Sunday, no less, rather fittingly. Nearly 5 years on, too.

https://youtu.be/h-FX9OTz9vY

What is to be, will B…MW.

Buy buy birdie

In the lead-up to parting ways, life threw at me a collection of prospective buyers, each with stories more interesting than the last, as I sat down to write the BMW’s next chapter.

But it wasn’t a case of the wind being firmly in my sales at all times. I listed the car for merely one day on CarTrade/Carwale, and got a few rather rubbish leads from your typical dealers, causing me to grab the nearest pack of Disprin and deactivate the ad quicker than you finished reading this sentence. I cannot suffer fools that insult the two grey cells I have left to rub together, and so I cut that cord in double quick time.

Remarkably, I got a fair few guys off of the listing here (none of them fools, delightfully). And I got some seriously heart-warming stories from prospective buyers.

Such as the young ‘un who had the capacity to bankroll the car all by himself, but wanted to speak to the folks at home and get their buy-in and blessings before pulling the trigger.

Such as the gent in Bangalore, who was disappointed to learn that Red was spoken for, and made me promise to contact him if the deal fell through, and would fly down to buy it virtually sight unseen.

Such as the delightful fellow who abandoned politeness and chose to address me as an “ass man”, while wondering if my redhead had found a suitor to take her to the ball.

Such as, most memorably, the lady who called me secretly, unbeknownst to her husband, and stole my heart over the course of a single conversation.

Image for representational purposes only. I was only slightly less animated than this gent while talking to The Lady

There is something just delightful about planning and plotting in secret, away from the watchful gaze of our significant others, as this lady had.

You see, her husband had cast covetous glances at the car for some time now, and she wanted to buy it for his birthday, because Red is the colour of love.

This lady had my heart most of all, but alas, she called me at the very end of the tale, once all had been written and the ink was drying. Else, the romance of it all was too great to ignore, and it hurt me most to turn down a woman after my own heart.

I excitedly told my wife of this tale of true love, worthy of being put in the pantheon of such legends as Shahjahan’s great erection for Mumtaz Mahal, or Jeff Bezos parting with billions because of actions guided by his throbbing monument of love.

Suffice to say, I was given steely glances by the wifey that told me to get no such ideas, and I would be extremely lucky if I didn’t get a toy car hurled at my noggin on my birthday. Romance. Who says it’s dead, eh?

As it turned out to be, the car was sent riding off into the sunset with a gent who came riding in on a beautifully modified Pajero Sport, and I couldn’t have asked for a much better home for Red.

Far from wondering out loud if the car could be raised back to its stock height, he expressed zero interest in doing so.

Instead, he agreed a price with precious little haggling, and asked my help to bring the car up to spec fixing a clutch of minor issues as he wanted her to be back to something approximating her best before delivery.

Given that he willingly agreed to foot the bill to do so, I was a more than willing accomplice in this plan.

Even so, I was surprised at the speed at which things moved once the ball was set rolling. Eventually, I was left in that perpetual state of no man’s land every enthusiast knows, where you sell a car only to say you miss it for the rest of your life, no matter how much you move on. Literally or otherwise.

D-Day (a.k.a. Delivery Day)

Inevitably, D-Day swung around and brought with it that sweet sorrow we know as parting.

The last time she was ever seen in parking slot number 69

To soften the below, I decided to take her down memory lane, just the two of us, revisiting where I first met her.

One last sortie towards the Sea Link...


...with fate seemingly mocking me with her song choices



Back at the spot where it all began...


Rebelling against the rules, one last time

Speaking of car-ma…

Having said my goodbyes to her one final time, I imagined I’d never see her again.

https://youtu.be/E4BvQ0uDKwQ

So imagine my surprise when Kurla West’s Kanye West sent me videos soon after, of her on JVLR, on her trip out of Bombay, for good. It’s a small world after all, eh?

To paraphrase a sappy quote, some cars enter our lives, and leave with nary a tyre print in the sands of time. And some enter our lives, leave a trail of burning rubber on our hearts, and we are never quite the same again. It is safe to say that red was very firmly in the latter camp for me, and I will mourn her tremendously in that way we all lament the absence of a much loved one.

Goodbye, red. May you howl down highways, wherever they may lead you. You were one of a kind.

Yes, I know it's a repeat pic. But it's my favourite one of her, so suck it up

Addendum: This will most likely be my last ever post about Red on this thread. While I welcome chatter and general gupshup about her or cars in general on this thread, this is where I close the chapter on Red. Her tale has been told.

[ex-innova-guy]

This is one of the most engaging thread I have read on here and enough to make a grown man (are we?) cry. Thank you for sharing such delightful moments and fun banter with Red.

I hope you find your next new love (lady? ) soon.

[iliketurtles]

Originally Posted by ex-innova-guy

This is one of the most engaging thread I have read on here and enough to make a grown man (are we?) cry. Thank you for sharing such delightful moments and fun banter with Red.

Thanks a million times over for the kind words, sir. Appreciation such as yours strokes my ego and stokes my creative fires.

Also, I don't know about you, but I refuse to grow up. I will always be some variant of 15 going on 50, forever.

Originally Posted by ex-innova-guy

I hope you find your next new love (lady? ) soon.

Honestly, that move is some time away. Car prices are nuts. You'd imagine walking into a showroom with a 70-75 lakh budget and saying give me something fun, fast, and good-looking (inside and out) would be an easy task. You'd be wrong. Very wrong. I have zeroed in on my next car, even in this crazy market, but I'm some time off from pulling the trigger.

I promise to try and make the wait for the next thread worth it, but man, I honestly will struggle to top this one. One can only try.

[ex-innova-guy]

Originally Posted by iliketurtles

I have zeroed in on my next car, even in this crazy market, but I'm some time off from pulling the trigger.

My guess is EV6 but considering the number of mods done on Red, I don't think you would plonk the money on it. Perhaps the M340i or X3 M40i is the best bet as they are a good upgrade from the N20 to B58.

I promise to try and make the wait for the next thread worth it, but man, I honestly will struggle to top this one. One can only try.

So imagine my surprise when Kurla West’s Kanye West sent me videos soon after, of her on JVLR, on her trip out of Bombay, for good. It’s a small world after all, eh?

Forgot to quote this earlier, one has to start reading this thread from the very beginning to get this reference.

[iliketurtles]

Originally Posted by ex-innova-guy

My guess is EV6 but considering the number of mods done on Red, I don't think you would plonk the money on it.

You are almost correct on both counts. I came very, very, very close to writing a cheque for it, but pulled out because:

1. My entire car circle promised to ex-communicate me if I did
2. The interiors and sound system are not that of a 65-70 lakh car

The EV6 ticked a lot of boxes though. Genuinely fun-to-drive, superb chassis and handling for what is basically a station wagon (I refuse to call it an SUV or crossover).

But more importantly, as you said, I would get very, very bored with it in next to no time since I wouldn't be able to tweak it to my taste very much.

Originally Posted by ex-innova-guy

Perhaps the M340i or X3 M40i is the best bet as they are a good upgrade from the N20 to B58.

The M340i was the frontrunner at one point, but not anymore.

My first drive with it was pure perfection.

That colour. That sound (this was a pre-LCI, before the damn thing got neutered to kingdom come), and the feel of it was phenomenal. It was perfect.

And then BMW engineered all the emotion out of it. With the LCI, the sound was killed off spectacularly, and minus that emotional engagement (and the withdrawal of this gorgeous shade of Sunset Orange), its flaws became more apparent to me, primarily the fact that its cabin does not have the opulence of an 80 lakh car, and the sound system is mediocre at best IMO.

I might have moved on in life, but the middle class buoy in me refused to accept these shortcomings. That, coupled with the fact that it is next to impossible to tune the damn thing unless you throw a big wad of money at it, made me cancel it. But that engine is awesome, and it was available as I remembered it to be, no other car would enter the discussion.

Alas, BMW has strayed too far from the light. I will not be lured by the dark side of droll, ho-humvees. I will kick and scream and rage against the dying of that light, come what may.

Originally Posted by ex-innova-guy

Forgot to quote this earlier, one has to start reading this thread from the very beginning to get this reference.

That's half the fun, isn't it

[ex-innova-guy]

Considering you have been told to buy new only, now the remaining bets lie on the Stuttgart twins- the Macan or the GLA 35.

PS- If these 2 are not correct I am gonna DM you for the correct answer. Enough of these guess games and placing bets.

[Moontan]

Originally Posted by iliketurtles

Car-ma: It’s very real

Attachment 2546188
...with fate seemingly mocking me with her song choices

I see you've finally changed the screen. What did you go for? How much did it cost and what displays on the HUD post install?

[iliketurtles]

Originally Posted by Moontan

I see you've finally changed the screen. What did you go for? How much did it cost and what displays on the HUD post install?

Yes, we did. The car runs on CIC, so sourcing an aftermarket Android screen was a bit of a pain. But we got a great one. About 12.5”, snappy as hell, and crystal clear.

A close-up of the screen


Old and new, for some kind of comparison

Note how the OEM screen was coming apart. Apparently it’s an issue with this batch of screens. Wish I knew when I picked up this one.

The new screen cost 59k, and was sourced from Redline Autohaus. It would have been significantly cheaper if the car ran on NBT, and we picked a 10.xx” option instead. Given the quality, not much complaint. It works like a dream.

To your point on HUD and steering wheel compatibility, it’s not perfect since it’s not OEM.

1. You can’t access your call logs by hitting the call button as you usually would. You can answer calls though. To access your call logs, you’ll have to use the screen
2. The songs playing do not show up in the HUD, which says it’s unavailable due to the AUX being plugged in (which this screen runs off of)

So simply put, the HUD shows the current speed, and not much else when you’re in CarPlay, and I imagine android auto too. As per usual, radio stations can be seen when you get out of CarPlay, or the list of songs saved on your HDD, etc.

But those are minor quibbles, for which there are workarounds, if you’re intrepid enough. I’d recommend getting one of these screens, and would time travel to goad past me into doing so if I could.

[Moontan]

Originally Posted by iliketurtles

So simply put, the HUD shows the current speed, and not much else when you’re in CarPlay, and I imagine android auto too. As per usual, radio stations can be seen when you get out of CarPlay, or the list of songs saved on your HDD, etc.

And navigation? Does that now not show up anymore? I ask as my NBT is up to date with India Maps 2023 sourced from the interwebs.

[iliketurtles]

Originally Posted by Moontan

And navigation? Does that now not show up anymore? I ask as my NBT is up to date with India Maps 2023 sourced from the interwebs.

I honestly didn't try the native navigation, but I'm sure it would have worked, I'd just have had to step out of CarPlay to fire it up, is all, just as I did the radio. I'm dead certain that wouldn't be broken after installing this.

But with Google/Apple Maps on the screen, I didn't even feel the need to test it, honestly. That worked for me as a solution perfectly. Your mileage may vary!