We take off all our clothes. I'm not looking around but from the corner of my eyes I realise there are other people taking their clothes off.
Instinctively I look around to see who's looking. Nobody is looking really.
We step into the door and I see an incredible sight. There's a huge bar with many bartenders (male and female). All the clientele is naked. Sitting on the bar stools, some with their towels covering their genitals, some just sitting on the towels.
People here are definitely younger. I relax in about 30 seconds. I guess it's gonna be OK.
There are many people here indeed. In the naked area I guess there are about 75. I am not nervous at all.
There are many many saunas. They are like little caves - explaining the method, the material of the cabin, coal, fire, etc. Benefits to skin to health etc and the temperature.
Of course we are in the open air. And we must carry towels. When you sit in the sauna, you must sit on your own towel. It looks so strange. It's snowing and bright day. People are walking around naked, holding their towels in their hands. They all look like naked Roman Emperors and Queens.
I enter an aromatic steambath. There is another couple inside. I use this moment to quietly reflect.
I've never seen so many attractive naked people in my life. But I find this neither strange, nor erotic in any way.
I gather courage and look at the couple across me. The woman is beautiful. Not a day over 30. I look at her body briefly and I realise I don't feel the need to stop my eyes at her breasts.
I look her straight in the eye. We smile briefly and I look away.
Later we step out. I see a man walk in holding hands with his 2 kids. A girl of about 5 and a boy of about 8. They're all naked too and smiling. He picks up the little girl and kisses her. Everyone smiles. Nothing is erotic. People are just naked that's it.
I turn questioningly to TheOne®. It's upto the parents, says she. That's why there's a sign and restricted access. Everyone is allowed, but for kids, the parents must decide if they're OK with them walking around with other nude people.
Look there's a Jacuzzi. But there are many naked people inside. I can't go inside, I'll be
touching them. What is my foot hits a guy's
thing or something. Yuck!!
More saunas and Ice. About 13 different saunas, at different levels. People get into hot hot saunas and then rub ice on themselves. Some jump into holes in the ice. That's like tempering steel. I can't do this.
She reads something and comes to me excitedly mentioning something honey and 4 pm something something. I just nod. It's surreal this whole experience. I am walking barefeet on snow, I am naked.
We enter a fire sauna for a little while.
Later, it's about to start, so we must leave. I just follow suit. We enter a sauna with a large basin full of coal. It's hot. We sit. Soon there are 10, 15, 20 30 people inside. The sauna is about 150 sq ft. 3 levels of wood to sit on. We are huddled together. There is an incredibly beautiful young girl sitting close to me on my right.
Somebody climbs up to my level and says something in German. He wants me to make room by shifting even closer to this naked blonde.
Our shoulders are now touching. I turn and smile apologetically to this young naked woman that I have never seen before and will never see again. She smiles back. I am slightly uncomfortable. She isn't, she doesn't care.
We wait.
I see 2 gorgeous girls, obviously friends, smiling and whispering to each other. Very attractive girls, not a shred of clothing on. But, I'm not excited at all.
I look at the whole scene from the outside. Life is so strange and unpredictable. Look at me, I am sitting, naked, with 30 naked European people in a hot wooden cabin, cooking myself.
It's getting very hot here.
A man enters - introduces himself and says something funny in German. Everyone laughs and sniggers. He's broken the ice. He's not naked, he looks like a hill ranger.
He opens up the window. It's too hot here, it seems he needs to cool it down a little. The air outside is numbingly cold. Icy cold breeze enters and we all shudder. He closes the window. Waits a while.
Puts something in the basin full of coal and turns up something. Holy crap!! My body is on FIRE!! I can hear people shudder and moan.
I'm estimating a good 90 to 95 degs inside. He waits.
He then pours some herbal stuff inside. OW!!! It's searing hot. He picks up a towel. I want to see what he is doing but my eyes are burning.
He holds up the towel like a matador and swings at everyone. Oh my sweet lord, I am burning.
Jesus Christ! says I, a bit too loudly. Everyone bursts out laughing. Now everyone is free to swear and moan. 12 minutes later he says something and opens the door. We all step out and he hands out fresh honey. Honey?? O...K...
He is pouring it into our hands liberally. We are to apply this all over our body. It is cool and feels wonderful. I apply it on my body.
I take the rest and apply it on my face. aaaaahhhhhh
We're standing in the snow again. It feels amazing after that burning. That wasn't so bad.
But wait. The hill ranger says something and opens the door.
Back in??!!
We go back in. He matadors us again.
Uh oh. This honey is melting and now has gotten into my eyes. Oh God I am dying. Forget these naked people and damn this stupid sauna.
5 minutes later he opens the door. I run out, tripping and falling over everyone. He's saying something. I don't care!
He runs out behind me, yelling in German. I
t's not good for you to come out quickly. You have to wait for a few minutes before you go to the snow.
My eyes are burning, my private parts are burning, I am dying. And I am made to sit quietly. I can see TheOne® shaking with laughter but not laughing.
OK? I nod. I am embarrassed and in pain and as naked as the day I was born. I am not OK.
I opt for a warm shower. I cannot do this Ice business. 3 hours are over, but we're not leaving yet. We wear our swimsuits again and go back to the water area.
Swim? says I
, no WATERSLIDE!!!.
We pick up a two man float and go down the dungeon of watery horror. Again and again and again!
I think I am going to throw up.
Later, we sit at the cafe inside the spa (with swimming clothes on) and I'm back to practicing my German.
I want some mustard with my fries.
Well go and ask her.
ME??
You know you can do it Sam. Go and ask her.
Dammit!
entschuldigung! Haben Sie sehn bitte? Vielen Dank!!
I come back smiling. This German business isn't
that bad!
Soon we're dressed and at the out door. We pay our dues and buy some ice cream from the Wurlitzer. I see those 2 girls again. NOW they look extremely attractive to me in those clothes.
I cannot believe that I just saw both of them completely naked an hour ago. I find them more attractive dressed up!
We leave, our skins aglow. We drive 40 kms to the nearest town and wind up at a nice nightclub/pub.
Nice speakers!!!
A few drinks and some mexican food and we need to drive almost a 100 kms back home.
I fall asleep in the car.
Tomorrow morning we will get up and leave the Ferienhaus and drive to Heilbronn.