[Jeroen]

Originally Posted by Aakash

I have noticed a lot of members in the forum talk about their assumptions, reasoning and conclusions on why a person is depressed. Nothing angers me more than the opinions which are more or less based on information borrowed off the internet.m.

Thanks for sharing your elaborate post!

Although I do understand your sentiment, in all honesty, it is always good to see this different opinions. Just because we believe it is based on the internet, religion, or a by product of home schooling, flat earth theory or whatever is still relevant for the discussion.

It does show people's perception and opinion for better or for worse. Which might be confrontational if you believe otherwise, but it also shows individuals for what they are worth or what they stand for.

I have often cautioned in many threads, about extrapolating one's own experience into something general and or making it the "global default" if you like.

What we see on this thread is some very different opinions about what constitutes depression and what possible treatments and support could be beneficial.

What is apperent, but that is just my opinion, that many people out there have a very different opinion about depression. What it is, how it manifest itself and how possible treatment could work.

I would say, the biggest eye opener for me is people more or less denying that depression is a real medical condition. Also, the reasoning for not seeing it as a medical condition are, my thoughts, alarming!

On the upside: we have seen quite a few members sharing quite intimate details about their private well being. More so than on any other thread on all of TeamBHP. On what I (opinion) think is a hugely important topic. I get regular PMs on some of my posts. I have never received this many on any other topic. The main theme I read in them is individuals being so happy about this thread and so frustrated about how their immediate environment (family, friends, work) responds to them. And in particular very frustrated, like you, with some of the responses on this very thread.

Here is a bit of advise: never ever get upset or frustrated about anything on the internet, especially an open, public forum, where most hide behind some forum handle.

Remember, it is never you who has got the real problem. It is always the deniers, the ones that ridicule, the ones that belittle, that have the real problem. And someday they are going to find out.

Stay safe, stay strong,

Jeroen

[Aakash]

Originally Posted by Jeroen

I would say, the biggest eye opener for me is people more or less denying that depression is a real medical condition. Also, the reasoning for not seeing it as a medical condition are, my thoughts,
alarming!

I am with you on this one.

Originally Posted by Jeroen

Remember, it is never you who has got the real problem. It is always the deniers, the ones that ridicule, the ones that belittle, that have the real problem. And someday they are going to find out.

And when they do find out, I pray they come around.

Originally Posted by Jeroen

Here is a bit of advise: never ever get upset or frustrated about anything on the internet, especially an open, public forum, where most hide behind some forum handle.

Ah yes. Flared temper wouldn't get me anywhere. Noted.

Originally Posted by Jeroen

Stay safe, stay strong,

I will and hope you would too.

[Samurai]

Coronavirus lockdown: 43% Indians suffering from depression, claims study
The coronavirus situation has taken a major toll on the mental health of citizens, the survey said

https://www.businesstoday.in/latest/...ry/411319.html

[ninjatalli]

Originally Posted by Samurai

Coronavirus lockdown: 43% Indians suffering from depression, claims study

Can't find a link to the original study apparently done by GOQii platform on some 10,000 Indians. Couldn't find anything on their website or blog either.

But there are a plethora of news websites that have picked up on the above brief since yesterday. None of them seem to have a link to the original source study

[comfortablynumb]

Even though this is not an automotive topic, could the mods team think about including this thread on the Team-BHP home page for a couple of weeks? Considering how popular Team-BHP is, it would go a long way in clearing misconceptions about the topic and also creating awareness in our society. Thanks.

[aargee]

Originally Posted by Samurai

Coronavirus lockdown: 43% Indians suffering from depression, claims study
The coronavirus situation has taken a major toll on the mental health of citizens, the survey said

Offlate I'm often feeling low, but fortunately every time I'm reminded of Dr Viktor Frankl & what he underwent. I'm immediately relieved & dismiss the thoughts. Truly Sir, learning History is doing its wonders.

[StarryFurry]

Just wanted to share it with you guys!
Since the last few days, due to personal and family related problems, I am having a very bad time. I don't want to live. Trust me if there was a switch to end one's life then I would have pressed it but alas!
Now, currently, I don't have any motivation to keep going in life. My parents are facing a hard time due to some close relatives who are hell bent on destroying our lives and I can do nothing but only watch our lives get shattered. Sorry for the long rant. It feels tremendous and I pray to God that no one should go through this.

[bblost]

Originally Posted by StarryFurry

It feels tremendous

The year is 2002. I have just passed out of college. My dad has retired from his overseas job.

The economy is acting very funny. There are no decent jobs. Like absolutely nothing.
I am sitting home trying my hand on various things including book editing(made some 15k over 3 months), software sales job that needs me to do door to door calls and so on.

At one time a security guard at one of the offices humiliated me and that was like a serious low point.

Being alone was extremely stressful and considering nothing is going right it felt like nothing will work out.

But that was 2002. By 2003, I had landed an awesome job and life got back on track.

What I want to say are these 4 words that made me feel very motivated and not give up.

"This too shall Pass"

Life has a tendency to balance itself out in the end. You are the support on which your parents rest their life.
So whatever it is have faith in them and yourself.

[CliffHanger]

Originally Posted by StarryFurry

Just wanted to share it with you guys!
Since the last few days, due to personal and family related problems, I am having a very bad time. I don't want to live. Trust me if there was a switch to end one's life then I would have pressed it but alas!
Now, currently, I don't have any motivation to keep going in life. My parents are facing a hard time due to some close relatives who are hell bent on destroying our lives and I can do nothing but only watch our lives get shattered. Sorry for the long rant. It feels tremendous and I pray to God that no one should go through this.

Hello StarryFurry, hold on there budd. Stay strong. I'm not sure what you are going through, but just say to yourself that no matter what, you are going to take life head on and will keep banging the door with your head even if life keeps shutting the doors all the time. Trust me, soon things will get better. Stay strong, keep fighting and say to yourself I'm going to fight and keep fighting no matter what comes up in life.

[digitalnirvana]

Originally Posted by StarryFurry

Just wanted to share it with you guys!
Since the last few days, due to personal and family related problems, I am having a very bad time. I don't want to live. Trust me if there was a switch to end one's life then I would have pressed it but alas!
Now, currently, I don't have any motivation to keep going in life. My parents are facing a hard time due to some close relatives who are hell bent on destroying our lives and I can do nothing but only watch our lives get shattered. Sorry for the long rant. It feels tremendous and I pray to God that no one should go through this.

Hi there mate. It must be really tough going through this. I can empathise with your situation. Do you have any friends who you can confide in without any judgement? If you feel alone you can always talk on here. We're happy to listen and talk to you.
Don't think of ending your life. It's not painless and easy. Your parents will need you more in these tough times. I hope things get better soon.

[StarryFurry]

Originally Posted by bblost

But that was 2002. By 2003, I had landed an awesome job and life got back on track.

What I want to say are these 4 words that made me feel very motivated and not give up.

"This too shall Pass"

Life has a tendency to balance itself out in the end. You are the support on which your parents rest their life.
So whatever it is have faith in them and yourself.

Thanks a lot bblost for your encouraging words. I just want our lives to be happy and normal. I want my parents to be away from this mess for once and all. I am even ready to leave everything and start fresh just with a pair of clothes and make my way through it. As you rightly pointed out, my parents rest their life on me. Your post makes me feel that I can do it!

Originally Posted by CliffHanger

Trust me, soon things will get better. Stay strong, keep fighting and say to yourself I'm going to fight and keep fighting no matter what comes up in life.

Thanks CliffHanger for your motivating reply.
Trust me guys, your replies made me feel like there is someone else with whom I can share my pain. From now on, I promise to myself that I will stay strong and fight back no matter what comes up.

Originally Posted by digitalnirvana

Hi there mate. It must be really tough going through this. I can empathise with your situation. Do you have any friends who you can confide in without any judgement? If you feel alone you can always talk on here. We're happy to listen and talk to you.
Don't think of ending your life. It's not painless and easy. Your parents will need you more in these tough times. I hope things get better soon.

Thanks a lot digitalnirvana for your reply! I am really feeling grateful towards all of you.
I have been a very shy person all my life. I don't have such friends whom I can trust blindly. You won't believe but I am so shy that I never uploaded even a single picture on social media. Even my whatsapp number doesn't have any display picture. I only thought about ending my life because I lost all hope. I felt that dying must be easier than living in these circumstances but somehow between all this, I forgot about my parents.
Team-BHP is the only site where I am somewhat active. Thank you guys so much for responding to a hopeless person like me. After interacting with you all, I strong believe that I can overcome my problems.
I will talk here regularly simply because you guys are truly awesome. Your advices have transformed my mindset. First of all, I will try to clean the existing mess and then cut ties with all those 'so called' family members and start my life with a clean slate.

Mod Note - Please use the EDIT or QUOTE+ (multi-quote) button instead of typing one post after another on the SAME THREAD!

To know how to multi-quote, click here.

[Cessna182]

Depression is like a silent killer. I am sorry if someone else has posted this already, but I just came across this thread. In 2011 when I was doing an undergraduate degree in engineering, my friend faced a very sudden loss of motivation. I recall how he spent many nights in my room just to make sure he won't harm himself. He was the best student, well aware about almost anything contemporary and had very good social skills. The tragedy was that he behaved in a normal way with professional connections, and that was like a mask. I saw him crumble internally. The mask could not cover the face anymore.

I did not know much about mental health back then. He went to a therapist but instead of giving immediate medicines, she told him some self help tips. I think many therapists in India think that people abuse mental health medicines and hence refrain from giving them. However, that's not fair for the genuine cases.

He recovered after almost a year. Just like that. Regular talks with friends, change of location post graduation and being with family helped.

I personally suffered a debilitating attack sometime back and it ruined my life. I saw the same things happen to me that happened to him. I stared at a document for hours without being capable of typing a word, could not sleep and it was due to no fault of mine. I don't know how I overcame it- again the mental health folks didn't prescribe medicines. I tried Ashwagandha because I read it has a calming effect, and it did help me to change my state of mind. But beyond that, I was on my own. Worst thing was that one cannot reveal the mental agony to anyone close. If you talk about it to your family, they will worry and create a psychological disorder for themselves and cause you more stress.

I never realized how critical it is to make sure your mind stays balanced through your life, till depression hit me. It's like an unforseable patch of stones and dirt while you're comfortably cruising on an expressway.

But talk to friends. Try and hope that the professional you seek treatment from gives you medicine instead of nonsense self help and productivity hacks. You will be okay, but that's just my very limited experience. I wish more OTC help in the form of herbal medications to cure anxiety, stress and motivation issues were available, but Ashwagandha helped me get back on my feet.

[Sheel]

Originally Posted by StarryFurry

Team-BHP is the only site where I am somewhat active.

For a start, please find a topic which is of interest to you on Team-BHP, I am sure, you will find it on our forum and you can participate / contribute and learn from it.

Originally Posted by StarryFurry

Thank you guys so much for responding to a hopeless person like me.

Secondly, stop thinking about yourself this way.

Find a purpose, also, find a hobby, pursue them. Interact with people who bring positive energy in your life. Go out, take a walk, would be good if you get some exercise etc as a daily routine [if not already doing].

Make a routine, stick to it, do things which interest you. Speak with your parents, be their support and they will be yours. Try having your meals as a family at least once a day, the more, the better.

Please speak your mind, you are welcome .

[dailydriver]

Originally Posted by StarryFurry

...currently, I don't have any motivation to keep going in life...

Life is never dull on the forum, is it?

Originally Posted by StarryFurry

Mod Note - Please use the EDIT or QUOTE+ (multi-quote) button instead of typing one post after another on the SAME THREAD!
To know how to multi-quote, click here.

Let's start by taking up this very challenge: of never giving the moderators another chance to caution you on a post. That would, in itself, be a minor, but significant achievement.

Giving up is easy; fighting on isn't. But fight we must.

Let me quote P Lalitha Kumari's poem The Farmer's Wife

You are virtuous and you are gone
Poor sinner that I am remain
Before your creditors.

Unable to bend your head
Or stretch out your hand
Or sell your crops
You crossed over.

But I was born with a head bent
A hand outstretched
Not unused to being sold
Knowing all this did you leave me?

You found release with poison
Poisoning my bitter existence
The cotton crop is but yesterday’s
But our family?

How often have I drowned in it
How many times have I escaped death
Whether you abused or reviled me
Kicked me when you were drunk
I thought, he is but a man

Little did I dream you would deal
Me a death blow like this!

True, the crop was gone
The debt remained
Our dignity hit the dust
Our hearts turned to water

But how did you imagine
My back would bear the burden of fourchildren?

You saw your crop destroyed
What of the harvest of my womb?
Can I leave them to the wind
Like worm-eaten pods?

It takes a moment to die
But open your mouth and ask
What of this?
Why is this?

Needs a firm heart.
To teach my children
To clench a fist
Not merely for a handful of rice
But in battle
I must live
I must embrace life, not death
Embrace life and the struggle for life.

(Emphasis mine)

Life, for most mortals, isn't a bed of roses. Neither is it a pyre of thorns. It is mostly dull and drab; lacking purpose and adventure. That doesn't mean it should be brought to an end. It just is an indicator that one must keep persevering.

Just look around you and see the hundreds and thousands who are leading lives less unfortunate than (your perception of) yours.

Stick on the wicket mate: runs will come, life will get better.

Originally Posted by bblost

This too shall Pass

This has been a personal motif of mine through thick and thin. Believe me, it has served me well.

[mooza]

Saffron, used in many sweet dish preparations here in India, seems to help in the cases of Mild depression and Insomnia, as per the link below.

It definitely lifted my spirits a couple of notches when I tried it over the past week or so with a glass of warm milk every evening, with hardly any side effects, though the study cautions it is still a bit too early to conclude:

https://neurosciencenews.com/saffron-sleep-15823/