Soon my massage is over. I slither off the wooden platform and smile brightly at diminutive.
He has truly offered me the best Ayurvedic massage of my life.
I realise that Jenny is up and about, back into her clothes.
Did you shower?
No, I took a steambath and then she kind of wiped me clean.
No shower?
Sam I'm not so sure if they have a proper shower. In any case I'd rather take one at home with hot water.
Ah OK.
How was your massage?
Bloody outstanding? Yours?
uhh.. I'll tell you later.
No good eh?
I'll tell you later.
It's funny how that last word sound a little more forced and through her teeth and eyes slightly wider than usual. Why do women do that? I wonder.
Shiva walks in. The lady who massaged Jenny has been sent away. I am to now walk in my thong to Jenny's massage room and sit in this massage contraption.
It's a tent! A little tent with a wooden chair inside. Shiva unzips the tent and I climb into the little wooden chair. He zips me up.
As he inserts the steaming machine spout he shows me all kinds of dried herbs and stuff and what they will do for my skin and glow and all that.
I nod. I like this guy. He is truly doing his best.
Is music too loud for you?
No it's fine.
He sits next to me.
What work you do? I, uhh.. sell speakers.
Speakers? Like this? He points to his little system.
Yeah something like that. I smile.
Imported?
Yes, imported. I smile again.
The steam is getting hotter. Jenny comes by to say hello and of course she has found my camera bag amongst my clothes.
Don't be silly Jenny, I must look like an idiot in this tent.
hahahaha
Stop it!
hahahaha, you have to post this on Team-BHP.
The steam continues. I feel all warm and nice inside. Jenny leaves to get some monsoon air and shiva goes away for a bit.
I happily settle in and let loose another quick whiff with a comfortable sigh. It's got to be the prawns... I wonder.
Well thank goodness for this tent, nobody will smell it now. Nobody needs to know...
Shiva comes back in.
Good steam?
Yes.
Good hot, herbs for your skin.
Yes..
Also face. Good for face.
uhhh..face?
He opens the zipper.
Put head inside! NO!
You put head inside, good for face!
No but but..
He unzips the tent and forces my head in while I struggle and wave my arms for help. It is all of no use. My head is inside the tent and Shiva has zipped me up.
Nice lemongrass and basil no?
uhhh...no
What lemongrass? Damn Souza Lobo!! Damn the feni and damn those dastardly prawns. This is Nazi torture (sorry baby)
My whole body is inside so I cannot even wave for help. I bear it holding my breath for as long as I can till Shiva has mercy and gets me out.
A quick wipe up job and I'm dressed too. Time to go.
Before leaving Shiva gives us brochures for his ungles massage hospital and explains how his ungle and he intend to start an Ayurvedic resort near Aleppey.
He is sweet and wonderful, we wish him all the best.
It is still raining and the cold rain feels like daggers on our warm, well massaged bodies. We rush home to a warm shower and wash all the oil off.
Now we will dress and visit Britto's!