[amol4184]

A guy in chauffeur driven Wagon-R of all the cars argues about driving skills of others. Don't think irony has even tried to enter his dense head.

[adisan]

Originally Posted by DogNDamsel12

Actually, this man was out there to prove a point - because I am a woman, I cannot drive.

Some people do not understand that "one cannot look taller by pulling others down". In all likelihood, they pick on others without regards to gender or age, it just happened to be you this time - and since you were driving, the topic became driving ability of females.

Do remember that the incident reflects poorly on them, not on you.

[Aravind_M92]

Originally Posted by DogNDamsel12

His two minutes of fame - Misogyny alert

Attachment 2279540

But his stance was simple - his driver won't budge and I have to admit that I cannot drive!



Actually, this man was out there to prove a point - because I am a woman, I cannot drive. He went on repeating that like a rapper in Bengali, as my friend was inside the car backing up and I was standing in the midst of a crowd of local onlookers. He was trying to turn them against me. One particular comment that should be a telltale sign of his misogynist outlook was "look how she is wearing her sunglasses on her head, and she is arguing and she doesn't know how to drive."

I totally can relate to a similar instance! But it was in bylanes of Pondicherry and had one of my female colleagues drive around. Fast forward in a narrow lane, ( a one way that too) and a prejudiced misogynistic cab driver in blaring Innova. we in a humble hatchback following the rules entered the lane just to encounter this idiot. All of us in the car knew driving. After his stupid approach and comments we decided on stopping the car right there and and step out and said she's the only one who knows to drive. That look on his face was priceless! There was a lot of commotion and two wheeler riders giving us the finger and passing down comments. Further we all got some eatables and sat down to eat right there. Finally after 1 hour of his ego, which was cut short by a traffic police who came and not only cleared the traffic laid down challans for multiple violations. In the end one of my other friends who told we didn't know driving, took over the wheel and moved on. Again the reaction on his face, priceless!

In my opinion, if you have the time, don't spare such idiots and make sure you make him understand his mistake in a way he understands and regrets doing so. Further in any similar encounter, he should remember this instance!

[neerajku]

Personal belief is roads will be much more safer if more women drive. They won't get enraged if you overtake them, won't drive on the middle of the road to obstruct you in case you want to overtake, will be steady and not given to sudden rush of adrenaline and hence never unpredictable...

[Strider24]

People somehow cant digest the fact that even a women can be a good driver or she can even drive. I have heard this phrase so many time from some of the fellow passengers and drivers in car pool drives that I after when I failed to argue with them, I started to ignore it.

Currently I am helping my wife to practice driving on city roads & already can see 2 classic on road behavior:

1. Bikers will peep inside from side and front even when they are riding as if an alien is driving the car.
2. Car & bike will take a very last second turn upon crossing, sometimes dangerously close.

I don't see people behaving like this when I am driving, but with my wife behind the wheel it is more frequent.

Now she too is training her nerves to be of 'STEEL' as you have. I am sure she is bound to face these idiots someday when driving alone.

[dragracer567]

Originally Posted by DogNDamsel12

My friend came in. This man went on ranting away at him too (the picture is of him yelling at my friend. His ask was simple "She has to admit that she cannot drive!"

Offcourse, this is an extreme case but the stereotype that ‘women can’t drive’ is so ingrained into society in general (even Europeans, not just India) and it beats me what the reason could be other than blatant misogyny. I mean, statistically speaking, women are actually safer drivers than men (link).

Also, it’s not like we see this misogyny only with older and/or less educated men, based on what I see from my friend circle, young men from educated and upper middle class families have this ingrained notion as well!

[harry10]

Originally Posted by DogNDamsel12

His two minutes of fame - Misogyny alert

Attachment 2279540

It is nerve-wracking to let the moment slide and not let your ego take over, and triggering to be judged basis my gender. But I have learned to steel my nerves and move on as best as I can!

Classic case of Bullying seeing a woman driver. This actually happens a lot. Kudos to you for handling it in a sensible manner. Although I will suggest giving a quick call to 100 as such morons can get overly aggressive and situation out of hand. Mostly in my experience police sides with the Women drivers. That would have taught him a lesson. As most people i hate bullies and they deserve some punishment.

[HornNotOkPlease]

Originally Posted by DogNDamsel12

His two minutes of fame - Misogyny alert

Attachment 2279540

Happened to me a couple of days back. I entered a really narrow lane in one of the suburbs of Kolkata, to pick up a friend.

Trust me i go through this scenario every day minus the lady driver factor, thanks to my unplanned locality and narrow streets. Over the time i have learned the art of tackling such scenario by declaring upfront i am a new driver and wont be able to reverse in such a challenging situation

[jagzrk]

This was a regular occurrence with my wife until we got a dashcam. Here in Pune, some men will go to the extent of causing damage to vehicle just to say those misogynistic words. The last time it happened, we got some good amount of money from the guy to repaint the panels, thanks to dashcam evidence of him clearly swerving into the car to cause damage. Of course, the first words were the same which you heard.

Based on my wife's experiences and me reviewing her dash cam footage, it is beyond doubt that women have it like hell when they're driving. Its really disgusting to see so many men trying to cut off, harass women, try to put the woman driver purposefully in an uncomfortable situation just so that they could taunt! There is no escape to this tyranny and the only respite are dashcams, front and rear, if any legal recourse is required.

Most of the people just taunt and speed away. If someone stops to argue, very politely, just point to the dash cam and ask to visit the nearest police station so that the cops can review the footage. We've never seen anyone who has taken up on this offer.

[McLaren Rulez]

Originally Posted by DogNDamsel12

Actually, this man was out there to prove a point - because I am a woman, I cannot drive.

You handled the situation very well but please do not feel the need to blur out the face. Or the guy's license plate number. If you have a video, you have every right to post it here.

Public shaming is thoroughly deserved in these instances and Team BHP has a large enough audience that a coworker or neighbour will recognize him. Let him squirm.

[headbanger]

This never was about driving right or wrong. In these narrow bylanes, the same scenario would have happened dozens of time and would have been sorted either amicably or otherwise. Your scenario was about the reaction that erupted out from the man who is suffering from unconscious bias towards gender. Unconscious bias is like an iceberg, what you saw was just 20%. I empathize with his family and friends who would have to face the unseen 80% every day and moment. And this virtue of gender bias is so ingrained in chauvinistic male ego that it is their version of right. Just prick their ego a little and see a myriad of responses from females being the weaker sex to showing them the right way to even showing them their place.

We as a society have a lot to cover to get over this issue but don't let this deter you in any manner. No girl needs a man aside to live her life to the fullest, leave alone driving.

[Thad E Ginathom]

Originally Posted by neerajku

Personal belief is roads will be much more safer if more women drive. ...

Over the years here, I have posted quite a few icy responses to posts that tended towards gender bias. I still will, but I am afraid that, in recent years (to twist a metaphor) equality has fallen on the other side of the fence, and I see many women on two-wheelers driving in much the same way as the men.

Originally Posted by Strider24

People somehow cant digest the fact that even a women can be a good driver or she can even drive.

I think you could have worded that better

And, in answer to other posts, yes, of course, the woman-driver bias is inter- and multi-national. Popular myths are that men make better drivers, and that the young make better drivers: insurance companies have the real statistics.

Originally Posted by Aravind_M92

... After his stupid approach and comments we decided on stopping the car right there and and step out and said she's the only one who knows to drive. That look on his face was priceless! There was a lot of commotion and two wheeler riders giving us the finger and passing down comments. Further we all got some eatables and sat down to eat right there.

It is my fantasy that in a true head-on face off, I'd just get out of the car, lock it, tell the other driver to do whatever they want and walk away.

I don't suppose I'll ever do it, though. And it probably wouldn't be de-escallation if I did.

Thankfully, I find such extreme attitudes relatively rare. And I continue my driving yoga practice to keep my own emotions in check and my blood pressure down

[PRS7]

It is unfortunate that you had to go through this and you didn't deserve to.
Even with the possibility that you do not possess the best sense of driving, a person on the road has absolutely no business or right to talk to you like that. I am afraid that it only poorly reflects on his upbringing and class.
If he had a disagreement, he should have asked assistance from the authority(traffic policeman)to help sort out the disagreement.

Coming to the gender bias. I am a firm believer that driving does not have any relation to gender. Road stupidity has no gender as far as I have witnessed during my drives all over India. We have even robot driven cars crash.
I have also made stupid road behavior, that I am not proud of which I try to change after reflection.
Somehow I have seen this bias towards women drivers deeply ingrained more so in India but even in other countries I have visited. May be driving was seen more as a physical skill in early times. Times have changed but the mentality remained.
I am sure it will change like other misconceptions.

Until then stay calm as they way you did and let morons pass by you. Not worth your time and energy.

Cheers !

[smasher]

Originally Posted by DogNDamsel12

his driver won't budge and I have to admit that I cannot drive!

That s a shame.

I have been driving for 20+ years. Still there are much better drivers out there than me. My wife has been driving only for a few years. But she drove safe till date in chaotic Bangalore traffic. My dad at 80 years still drives everywhere. Who are we to judge ones skills?

All we can do is to be considerative when someone is under pressure or nervous while driving. Waiting a couple of extra seconds to give way will not take anything out your life.

Roads are filled with arrogant/aggressive drivers. No point, getting in a tussle as chances are high that the next driver you meet on road might end up even worse.

Having said that, I appreciate how you have handled the situation. You did the right thing by dealing firm and peacefully.

[Small Bot]

Originally Posted by Strider24

1. Bikers will peep inside from side and front even when they are riding as if an alien is driving the car.
2. Car & bike will take a very last second turn upon crossing, sometimes dangerously close.

Whoa, I've seen that happen very recently! It's not just that some folks are stunned by the concept of a lady driver in a car, I've seen some rash young fools try to display their 'manliness' or whatever, by swerving too close to the lady's car, honking a little too much, stopping too close to driver side window and removing their helmets to show off their supposedly excellent hairdos.

Some people just are weird on the road.