[noopster]

Originally Posted by Samurai

This is a real conversation that happened with me.

Wife: I bought a gift for my friend.
Me: What is it?
Wife: A clutch.
Me: Damn, why not a gearbox?
Wife: &^$%&$

PS: For the uninitiated, clutch is a women's handbag without handles.

Samurai, if that happened with me, the &^$%&$ part would read:
Wife: I think we need a brake.

[SPIKE ARRESTOR]

A funny incident happened when I called up Radisson GRT (Hotel). Incidentally, the Single and Double occupancy rooms have the same rate, so I thought of asking why is it so.

Me- Why are your Single and Double occupancy rooms priced similarly?
She- Yes Sir, it is like that.
Me- But why? If both cost the same, won't people always take a DO room? Then why this extra SO room?
She- No Sir, that SO room is for single people only.
Me- Oh is it?
She- Yes Sir.
Me- Thanks!

Spike

[suhaas307]

Alright so this is quite embarrassing.

So I'm sitting in the examination room. I take the question paper. I began writing my answers in the answer booklet. About 10 minutes into the paper, I get stuck for a minute as I realized that I had misspelled a word earlier. I went back to that sentence and waited for a 'crooked-red line' to appear below the word and attempted to right click the word with my pen.



*facepalm*

I slapped my forehead. (I literally slapped the spelling out of my head) and suddenly, I felt like I was being looked at. I buried my head into my paper..

[SDP]

While I was in Germany (sometime in 1998 I guess), during 2nd or 3rd day of my stay, I was headed back to my apartment after work. This was the first time I was travelling back alone. I stopped at the bus-stop and was waiting for the bus. Language is a big problem in Germany, but since I knew the bus-number (I think it was 124), I was OK. I was alone at the bus-stop and a bus approached the bus-stop. Wierd thing was that the electronic number-display on the bus was malfunctioning and was showing different numbers one after another. Since the bus-number was not clear, and asking someone was not an option, I wasn't sure that it was the right bus (No. 124). I decided not to take a risk. So I stepped back and decided to let go the bus. The bus came to an halt next to the stop, the door opened. Since I didn't step-up, the driver closed the door and the bus moved on. I remember the driver giving me a wierd look. When I was waiting for the next bus and wondering about the wierd look given by the bus-driver, it dawned on me that the bus-stop was only for one route (no. 124) and therefore only bus-no 124 stopped at that bus-stop

[sajo]

Originally Posted by SDP

.....bus-stop and a bus approached the bus-stop. Wierd thing was that the electronic number-display on the bus was malfunctioning and was showing different numbers one after another....

Well, something similar happened to me. I was working in this little town in Belgium, and used commute by bus. The bus service (DeLijn, if I remember correctly) used to have the destination name on the LCD display at the top. Mine said IndustriePark or Station, depending upon whether I was coming or going. There were dozens of others, with destinations like Antwerp or Bruxelles written across them.
However, all these destinations at any given point were vastly outnumbered by a bus for "Geen Deinst".
"Gee...", I thought, "must be an awfully popular place. Must visit it one day."

Even tried to flag down buses bound to Geen dienst several times when it used to be late, thinking that if he drops me to any stop away from this little place, I will be able to catch a bus back from there. But they almost never used to stop, even after some animated waving on my part. Racist idiots, I thought.
Only to be told by a dutch speaking Indian chap at the office one day, Geen Dienst actually roughly transferred as "Not in Service".

[kamboj]

While we are discussing Europe and transport, here is my contribution.

I was in Hauge (Netherlands) on first overseas assignment (2003). Now if you are in Netherlands, how can you miss Amsterdam. So during my 3 months stay there I made 5-6 trips to Amsterdam by train. Now while coming back from Amsterdam, on railway station display board I would get 2-3 train options to Hauge. Some of them had word Schnell written next to their name. I thought word Schnell resembles Snail in english, so it must be a slow train. So always, I used to avoid these trains and hop on to other options. It was only towards end of my stay I got to know that Schnell means Fast in Dutch & German .

[_raVan_]

Originally Posted by suhaas307

And it doesn't end there. After the movie, I went downstairs to Marks & Spencers to do a little window shopping, and I found something I quite liked. But it wasn't in my size, so I walked to this guy and asked, "Could I have have this in my size?" he turned around, and it was the same guy! He looked at me with a 'WTH' expression! I took to my heels and headed straight for the parking-lot!

I still cant stop laughing man! Hilarious incident!!!

[optimist]

A few days ago in the mad morning rush, I overtook a motorcycle with 2 school kids in a car on a rare free stretch in a infrastructure construction infested road. The facial expressions were that they envied a fast car!

200 meters ahead, I'm stuck in a jam while these kids gleefully glide past me, their faces clearly conveying "See, we are faster". I never did catch up with them.

At least they were happy!

[_raVan_]

Surprisingly, I woke up 5 mins before my alarm rang. Took the sleeping alarm in my hands and exclaimed to it "BEEP BEEP... BEEP BEEP!!! TAKE THAT YOU BUGGER!!!"

Sweet revenge personified

[Swanand Inamdar]

For those familiar with Aussie ways of speaking... here's one incident on me.

I was new in Melbourne. As a student, a part time job was a must. So, here I am at my first part time job, on the very first day.

Its towards the end of the day- and my manager comes up to me and asks - "How are you going mate?"

I answer: Umm, taking the tram, I hope.
He: Huh?

[NetfreakBombay]

Speaking of Aussies..

Never ask an Aussie if he has "Rooted his phone"

[BulZire]

I was trying to reach my wife on her mobile from my office LAN phone. whenever i dial the phone, my mobile also started ringing simultaneously .when i tried to attend the call in mobile dropping the LAN phone, the mobile call also got disconnected. it happened atleast thrice.

I was cursing the fellow giving missed calls with all sorts of so called bad words. It took sometime to realise that i am dialing my own mobile number instead of my wife's .

The fact is, my mobile number use to be my wife's number 2 years back. i am still thinking about what took my mind 2 years backward suddenly in a morning of a weekday

[optimist]

Marketing:

A salesman for car covers goes like this in front of my house.
"Santro car cover, Zen car cover, Elantra car cover, i10 car cover" etc.

A few day after i changed the i10 to the optra the guy's song changed to:
"Santro car cover, Zen car cover, Elantra car cover, Optra car cover" etc.

[Superleggera]

In Jan of this year, I thought I will collect all the coins that I get and keep a collection of coins. Though no coins were rare, I was proud of the number of coins I had. My collection box was initially a Horlicks Jar and soon I had to change it to a big plastic jar (The one you see in shops with toffee filled in it) as my collection grew significantly big. The biggest challenge was to keep this jar out of the reach of my daughter, as she always wanted to play with it. I had all sort of coins right from 50 ps to Rs. 10 in my collection.

About two to three months back I had a doubt that the number of coins in my collections is becoming lesser and lesser as the days pass by, but then I thought it’s just a feeling and enthusiastically started increasing my collection. The collection jar was about 80% full in November.

Sometime early this month, I got a shock by seeing that my collection is almost empty, just about 10% of the coins remaining in the jar. Seeing my reaction my wife answered – “Yes, I gave it to my brother who was going to XXXX Temple. You were collecting it to give to temple, nah – you don’t have to carry the weight all the way long, he will take it. I kept few coins in it so that I can use it whenever I go to the temples over here, as I used to do” – keep collecting them, its very helpful.”

[Fordmanchau]

Happened with me today.
I called my sister in morning, generally and wished merry X-mas, I asked her about my 4 and half year old nephew. Now,this guy generally doesn't talk to people much on phone, and is famous for saying whatever he wants, and put away the receiver before the person on other side can utter a single word.

Now my sister calls him, saying Santa is on phone and wants to talk to you. I realised he shouldn't recognise my voice.So when he came on phone, I talked with different accent and in a heavy voice. He believed it that he was talking to Santa.

I asked him why does he deserve a gift.
He tells me that he is a good boy, learns swimming, goes to Skating practices and also that Santa in his school only gave chocolates and no gifts.

Then, I told him that there are some complaints that he doesn't study well.
He got a little disappointed on hearing that, but nevertheless promised that he will study well from now on, when I asked him to.

He so believed me that he was calling me Santa on the phone, said "Santa talk to my mother", "Santa talk to my Father".

I hear that he has been very happy the whole day. I talked to him now and he says " Mama, humko phone par ek Santa mila, vo humse baat kiya ..!!"

Now this guys is fanatic car lover, has a collection of toy cars already. And if you ask him what gift do you want, he answer will always be "CAR". It will either be a spiderman car, yellow car, red car, ben10 car but always a car.
So have already ordered a gift for him online. What else but a car!!

Here's the little brat with his cars!!


But franky, I'll admit, I have been happy myself the whole day too. I just couldn't stop myself from sharing this.
Merry Christmas to everyone!!Sorry for the long post.