[normally_crazy]

Yesterday I walked into the restrooms of Phoenix Market City and position myself in front of the urinal and get busy with my buttons. Suddenly I see gulal on my t-shirt, I am shocked. Try to brush off the gulal with my hands muttering under my breath - "Why didn't my better half tell me about this gulal on the tshirt ? I have been walking like a fool showing this gulal to people"

Brushing doesn't help, the gulal is still there and its not even reduced a bit ! I am shocked !

Suddenly it hits me - thats not gulal - that's the sensor light that is positioned above the urinal to sense the presence of anyone who stands there and goes about his job !

Sigh !

[s@tan2s@int]

On a recent trip to Goa with few of my colleagues, my boss and his family, we are all having a good time at the resort in the evening. Great music playing in the background with some good food & wine doing the rounds. I was sitting next to a colleague and chatting while the Boss’s kids were all over the place, running, screaming and creating a nuisance.

All of a sudden, there was a power outage & eerie silence & darkness engulfed the place. After couple of mins of eerie silence from all corners, I leaned over to the other side and whispered to my colleague “ the boss kids are a big nuisance, he shouldn’t have got his kids along” . The lights come up and whom do I see sitting next to me where my colleague was sitting earlier ??

My boss..

[Akshay1234]

Originally Posted by n_aditya

I was secretly hoping you stopped the wrong biker. That would have been priceless.

Haha this was bad enough. I was so irritated and I was left helpless. Though I am surprised I caught up to him considering the traffic.

[Blue Thunder]

This happened at the fag end of day 1 of the just concluded "Bangalore Annual OTR 2012". I was a passenger in neoranjit's Gypsy, as we were driving back to the base camp. It was getting dark, and the trail back was not exactly smooth sailing, there were lots of rocks/ruts on the way. I was surprised that no one had put on the headlights yet.

I tell neoranjit "I think you should put on the headlights".
"Not required, it is bright enough" he replies back.

I wait for a few more minutes, it was getting more dark, and I was getting uncomfortable. I was surprised no one else in the convoy had put on the headlights.

Again, I tell neoranjit "Maybe you should put on the headlights now".

He replies back "Maybe you should remove your sunglasses".

<facepalm>

[chetan_l]

This one is from my engineering college days...I was studying Mechanical Engineering in Tumkur back in '88-92

We used to have Ironsmithy workshops and the instructors were typically ITI trained foremen who would supervise our work. There was this particular instructor who knew very little English but nonetheless attempted to speak English all the time.

In our first class, we all were given mild-steel squares which we had to file away using an Iron-file.
None of us knew anything about the right techniques to 'file'. I was filing away rapidly when this instructor tapped me on my shoulder.

Instructor (angrily): Why filing, filing, filing, filing?
(And then, slowly): F...i...l...i...n...g, F...i...l...i...n...g, F...i...l...i...n...g,...

Hope you get the picture

[architect]

Originally Posted by chetan_l

In our first class, we all were given mild-steel squares which we had to file away using an Iron-file.
None of us knew anything about the right techniques to 'file'. I was filing away rapidly when this instructor tapped me on my shoulder.

Our first job in the metalwork lab in the first semester of B.Arch was the same, to make a shape out of a mild steel block by filing.

In our case, the instructor paid special attention to the young ladies (nearly 40% of the class were ladies) who ended with perfectly filed blocks at the end of the semester while most of the guys barely passed.

All the "f....i....l....i....n....g" instructions were reserved for only the ladies, sigh!

[libranof1987]

A group of 5 of my friends stay together in a flat. Incidentally, one of them (who was among the 2 signatories on the lease agreement) was to fly abroad for 2 months.

After he'd left, the other 4 guys had to renew the lease agreement and needed his signature.

Me : so, what are you planning to do since you don't have his signature
One of the 4 dudes : arey no problem, he has given us the power of eternity.

(Needless to say, he meant power of attorney)

[mayankk]

This happened some years back, when I was working with a small organization.
I needed a couple of telecallers for my team.
it was around the end of december, and till that day, the 29th, I had met at least 100 odd people, 10 a day, and there was always someone sitting at the reception when i walked in after my sutta break.

After one such break, I passed by the reception, and saw some salwar suits and denims sitting on the couches, and walked in, thinking ill tackle the interviews after checking my mails.
got to my PC, checked my mails, looked up , and saw practically the whole staff standing around me.
10 odd people, small org, no?
"ja ja, interview nahi lena?"
(go, do the interviews).
"inko to pakka rakh liyo!!"
(you should hire these!)

And I was like, ok, must be girls who've come in, and must be good looking ones, that's why these guys are so happy.
so with a spring in my step, i headed for the reception.........and my jaw dropped.
sitting on the couch were.....3 eunuchs....
now what?
well, equal opportunity employment, so i thought i should interview them at least.
but I will say this with no contempt in my heart, I was scared.
Actual thoughts in my head were, if they are rejected, will they create a ruckus?
and of course, will they gang up one me outside when i leave at 9pm???

So i said, 'aaiye, lets sits sit in the conference room."
the receptionist has gone pink in the face now.
earlier i thought it was embarrassment, then learned otherwise.
she rushed out from behind her desk, "no no.they're here for the new year chanda types.what are you doing mayank!!taking them to the conf room!!"

and somewhere in my head i heard, "You got punked!!"

Every new years, I get a call from all of those guys still, "aaj kisko recruit kara?"
(who did you recruit today?)

[bblost]

I am walking back towards my cubicle.

There is a young man, pushing at a door.
He is leaning forward and pushing it really hard. Has depressed the horizontal lever as well. But the door aint budging.

By the time I reach he has given up and decides to go to the elevators.

I stop him, push the door in from its left hand side.

[amitoj]

Couple of weeks back, I was to go with my friends to a mall that was some distance away. We were going in my friend's car. I hopped into the passenger seat and looked at the fuel needle (its instinctive nature) and saw the needle almost hitting the bottom. I tell my friend "dude we'll have to stop for fuel?" He says "ya ya we will".

So we set off. And i forget about it. After some time on the freeway, i realise that we have not stopped for fuel!! I nearly yell, "Dude we didnt get fuel!!" My friend squints at the instrument cluster and says "We have stilllll almosssst 1/3rd tank"

Thats when i notice that he is looking at the temp needle and not the fuel needle!!!!

We are still pulling his leg over that one

[selfdrive]

This was during the first week of our masters degree final year. A student from our class had just returned from a 2 week vacation to Nigeria. Apparently he managed to pick up an accent that he thought was American but it wasnt. To add to it, he originally had quite a discernible mother tongue influence. The entire class lost no opportunity to rib him about it the entire first day. Lets call him X.

On the second day, we had a session with one of the strictest professors in the institute. None of us had any informal interaction with him. And his reputation was enforced by various anecdotes narrated by our seniors the previous year. So during the session, X raises his hand and asks a very pertinent question. The prof listens very keenly and once the question is finished he narrows his eyes (a la Clint Eastwood) and says: A call was transferred to me this morning. It was you, wasnt it?!
Pindrop silence for a couple of seconds and then the roof fell down with all the pointed laughter!

[chetan_l]

Originally Posted by amitoj

Thats when i notice that he is looking at the temp needle and not the fuel needle!!!!

I had an extremely embarrassing incident in my previous company. As the HR head, I had invited a tech guru for an interview - a real geek (ex-MS, now AWS technologist) who is held in very high esteem within the tech community. He is the kind who has had coffee with Mr. Gates & Jeff Bezos et all.

He had come over to the office and I drove him out to lunch within the city. I had not filled fuel in my car since I was planning to give it for a service check-up the next day. But I hadn't noticed how low the fuel was...

Yes, my car stalled in the middle of the road for lack of petrol

The sport that this guy was, he got down and we pushed my car a little over half a block to a nearby petrol bunk.

We never got around to employing him, but I honestly believe the reasons were not related to this incident . Nonetheless, I have stayed in touch with him and we occasionally joke about it.

[Reisender]

Originally Posted by selfdrive

This was during the first week of our masters degree final year. A student from our class had just returned from a 2 week vacation to Nigeria. Apparently he managed to pick up an accent that he thought was American but it wasnt. To add to it, he originally had quite a discernible mother tongue influence. The entire class lost no opportunity to rib him about it the entire first day. Lets call him X.

On the second day, we had a session with one of the strictest professors in the institute. None of us had any informal interaction with him. And his reputation was enforced by various anecdotes narrated by our seniors the previous year. So during the session, X raises his hand and asks a very pertinent question. The prof listens very keenly and once the question is finished he narrows his eyes (a la Clint Eastwood) and says: A call was transferred to me this morning. It was you, wasnt it?!
Pindrop silence for a couple of seconds and then the roof fell down with all the pointed laughter!

he. he. he... I missed the thing.. Mind explaining

[selfdrive]

Originally Posted by Reisender

he. he. he... I missed the thing.. Mind explaining

This guy had apparently called the office to ask for something and his call was transferred to the professor as he was the only one around. He could not understand the accent on the call, but as soon as he heard the question, instead of answering it, he was trying to connect with the voice he heard earlier in the morning.
None of us expected this strict guy to think of such things. And it only reinforced our ribbing of that guy.
Hope I am able to clarify!

[Klub Class]

During the last week of December, a BHPian from Tamil Nadu sent me a PM asking me if it's safe to stay at Calicut given the conflicts between Kerala and Tamil Nadu on the Mullaperiyar issue. I assured him that it's perfectly safe and the only thing may need to worry about is the issues that may crop at the TN-KL border! That said and done, I received a PM from the BHPian couple of days back saying that he faced absolutely no problems and liked the place, people(except for the terrible driving manners ) and food.

Now that he said he loved the Kerala food, I sent him a PM saying sorry for not giving you leads regarding the best hotels and dishes in Calicut and sent him a more-or-less long list of dishes that he needs to taste the next time he pays a visit, say Chicken Biriyani from Hotel Topform, nice pathiri, meen(fish) curry, meen pollichathu etc.

I waited a little, waited a little more and then comes the reply from the BHPian that reads as :

I'm a vegetarian

And yes, no brownie points for guessing that I felt silly for referring non-veg dishes to a pure veggie!