[IronH4WK]

Originally Posted by ninjatalli

Haven't you heard about the guy from Africa, who's name was !Xobile? Do you know how to pronounce his name?

No? Go watch Russel Peters (episodes)

that's some messed up stuff dude!!

Originally Posted by a*ed

I can pronounce !Xobile, thanks to Russell Peters.

do you have a click in your name?

[dgupta]

This thread is a cracker on a Friday afternoon!!

This happened when I was in my 3rd year of engineering. We had this dude who used to brag about how he is flirting with girls on yahoo chat and orkut (yes, you read it right, orkut was the "in" thing those days). He finally went on a date with a girl. This guy is known for his stinginess, he had never ever paid voluntarily for anything. So dude on a date, with probably 50 bucks in his pocket, the gal asks him to meet at Atria Mall. Heart attack in sight, Mr Johnny Bravo makes his way fighting the Mumbai local crowd to Worli. The girl eats and chats and repeats the routine a couple of times, all money spent, the girl has to spend her own money as well

Finally, a walk down worli sea face. Johnny bravo and poor girl walking along, a dog starts following them. Girl afraid of dog, starts pulling Johny's hand and dancing around to scoot the dog away. Johny is embarrassed and smug at the same time (Mann mein laddoo phoota moment).

He comes back to college and narrates us this whole story during a practical class. We are all tinkering around with circuits on bread boards and CROs when a guy asks what did you do to get rid of the dog. The reply "Arey, maine road cross kar liya, kutta thodi road cross karega"

[speedmunster]

Our family is into the business of industrial and corporate security and have security personnel deployed in all parts of Andhra Pradesh. This incident took place in one of the remote factories where our people were posted. (Most of them happen to be from the North-East)

At 1:00 am, our security inspector called up the factory manager (any incident or material movement was to be reported immediately) who was happily sleeping at his residence 30 kms away and told him:

Asst. Security Officer: Sir, 'sher' aaya hai.
Factory Manager: (completely startled) Kab? Kaha?
ASO: Sir, factory mein.
FM(stunned): Kaise aa gaya sher?
ASO: Sir, truck mein.
FM: (tense) aur tum kya kar raha hai?
ASO: Sir, hum uska register mein entry kar rahai hai.
FM (thinking that the ASO was out of his mind): register?
ASO: haan sir, delivery challan ke saath hai.
FM (bit relieved and trying to figure out what the ASO was wanting to say): Material kya hai?
ASO: Sir, aapko bola na, sher hai.
FM (laughing now): kis cheez ke liye hota hai sher?
ASO (confused): Sir, baithne ke liye, aap mazaak to nahi kar rahe ho?
FM(laughing hysterically): Kitne 'chair' aaye hai?...


For those who didn't get it: chair=sher(with heavy MTI)

Cheers

[phamilyman]

Originally Posted by dgupta

He comes back to college and narrates us this whole story during a practical class. We are all tinkering around with circuits on bread boards and CROs when a guy asks what did you do to get rid of the dog. The reply "Arey, maine road cross kar liya, kutta thodi road cross karega"

This may be news to you, but dogs do cross roads if they are tailing you.

Originally Posted by speedmunster

FM(laughing hysterically): Kitne 'chair' aaye hai?...


For those who didn't get it: chair=sher(with heavy MTI)

Cheers

ROTFL. Good one man

[rohanjf]

Posting with wife's permission.

Being the youngest child, my wife was too pampered by her parents and brothers.

Yesterday at her parents' place, I noticed a small boil on her left cheek. I put my finger on my left cheek and said: see, you have a booboo (wound).
Instantly, she put her finger on her right cheek and said in a childish tone: yeah, it hurts.
I said: no, it is on your left cheek.

She moved her finger to her left cheek and said 'yeah, it hurts' in the same childish tone. Best part was, she still had no clue where the booboo was.

Drama queen...

[Trojan]

Wow, what an amazing thread, life totally rules.

Just reminded me of my initial working experience, I used to work for a major US airline in 2004.
The way we speak English in India is kind of different from the way the world speaks. Got a good dose of this in one of my interactions.

Speaking to a customer, wherein the Customers Father has "Expired", the customer nearly got livid at me for saying that.
He still kept his cool and replied, "Passports expire, people pass away"

Regards,

[selfdrive]

Originally Posted by IronH4WK

do you have a click in your name?

yes, he does. He is actually ninja!xalli

Originally Posted by speedmunster

For those who didn't get it: chair=sher(with heavy MTI)

Amazing one, that!

[AJITHAAA]

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[dass]

This happened during the first day of our degree class. All of us were giving our introductions, and one such gentleman who till today has a special mention in all of our discussions gave us a glimpse of things to come. He said, My name is N*****, I have done BSC in Science.

[Vivek Jayan]

This happened to two friends of mine- Sid and Kirz:

They were going to another friend's place on the same bike.
Kirz is the pillion rider and Sids riding. Kirz was showing Sid the way as they entered a sharp T section. Kirz was pointing "to the right" as he yelled "WATCH OUT STONES"!! Sid being the rookie he is sped up on the turn towards the pile of stones in shock and sensing the obvious, he pulled hard on just the front brakes...



The disk locks! The bike does a stoppie and Kirz, whose still stuck in his "to the right" pose, flies over Sid in the front!

The bike falls to the side as Sid manages to jump off right before it fell along with him

Kirz lands on the pile of stones hard and is badly bruised up and bleeding.

He struggles to come back to his senses when he sees a perfectly fine looking Sid dusting his shirt.

Sid: "Dude is my shirt dirty??"

Kirz: "!@#$%^&*(@#$%^&*@!&&" !!!

[Blue_V]

This happened couple of years ago. My parents live in Coorg. Being a agriculturist dad uses a Mahindra MM540. So one day dad is driving to town with mom in the jeep. And
just as we reach the town, there is a series of uphill hairpin bends leading to the town. So dad is navigating through those turns when there was a noise from the jeep, like something broke. Usually it would be the leaf springs that gave away. He stops the jeep gingerly and is about to get down and investigate when Mom says "Look here dear, Look !! Someone has left a whole wheel on the road !!". Dad gets down and to his utter amusement finds that the wheel has fallen off the jeep's front wheel. Dad had such a hard time holding his laughter back after what mom said.

[ikoneer]

Happens at my place everytime as well.

son: appa, i am not at all feeling sleepy, what to do?
Dad: Write two pages of cursive writing

Next 5th minute, he would have slept blissfully.

Originally Posted by liferocks

This is a good one and i guess all of us have gone through this.

Me: Mom i am getting bored.
Mom: Beta if you are getting bored then why dont you go and study?
Me: ???????

[rsjaurr]

When my kid,nick name Joy was about two and half year old he won a fancy dress competition where he dressed like Gandhi with shaven head.After couple of months when I showed him the picture of him receiving the 1st prize from school Principal his words were"Gandhi Joy bana hua hai" instead of saying joy Gandhi bana hai.
Even three yr after this i have same laugh what I had that time.

[ViMo]

Some years back I was travelling from Trivandrum to Bangalore in my friend’s car accompanied by another guy and my friend’s young brother who was doing his PUC in Bangalore. A road widening work was happening on the stretch between Salem – Bangalore. It was past 2AM and all were feeling sleepy, we stopped inside a deserted petrol pump hoping to take a nap in the car.
I couldn’t sleep so decided to take a walk to check out for roadside shops. My friend’s brother (FB) came along to give me company. It was dark and we walked along the road for some time to find nothing but couple of benches on the side. FB sat on one asked me in an innocent tone “Brother why the hell they have so many benches in this park?”That’s when I looked around and replied “they need one bench per person since this is a cemetery”. It took couple of seconds for him to realize that the benches are nothing but tombs and he was sitting on one (The Cemetery’s wall was demolished for road widening and since it was dark the tombs were not that visible). He sprang up screamed and ran to the car. His reaction worth a million, I was laughing all the way back to Bangalore.

[Oxy]

I had a funny incident with a telecaller today. Guess she got a bit bugged up. Here's how it went:

TC: Good Morning Sir.
Me: Good Morning.
TC: This is Neha from LIC. Can I talk to you for 2 minutes?
Me: Regarding what?
TC: I wish to tell you about LIC's new investment plan which will give you 10% guaranteed returns.
Me: Ok, go on.
TC: Sir, if you invest Rs. 30,000 anually for 5 years, you get Rs. 2,30,000 at the end of 5 years, and this amount is guaranteed.
Me: Is this a ULIP?
TC: No sir, this is an endowment plan which is not related to the markets at all, that's why the guarantee.
Me: How can you guarantee the returns? Where is this money going to be invested?
TC: It will be invested in Government bonds sir.
Me: As much as I know, Government bonds don't give anything more than 6-7% returns. How do you guarantee me an extra 3%?
TC: Sir, this is our Dussehra offer and not for everyone.
Me: All companies are in the market for making profit. Why would LIC decide to give some charity money to a selected few people?

At this point, I hear a click. Yes, she hung up! I feel for her.