[mallumowgli]

After a recent meeting with a client, the manager said 'let's make an MOM', and he asked a trainee engineer (a mallu) to type it out while he dictated

"....it was decided that xyz company will d-jolve the complaints..."

The trainee typed "...dejolve the complaints..."

Manager : "Not d-jolve yaar, d-jolve"

Trainee was confused, cleared the sentence and typed "...dissolve the complaints"

Manager "Arre, Iam telling d-jolve d-jolve, you are typing d-jolve d-jolve??"

The trainee was totally flustered, did not know what to do now

I came forward to help and told him "Rissoolve the problem"

My mallu acccent helped and he typed "resolve the problem"!!

[PatchyBoy]

Friend's (let us say Ramesh) wife was flying back from Mumbai when there was an emergency and everyone was asked to belt up. The plane rapidly lost altitude, almost went into a nosedive, before the pilot regained control and safely returned to Mumbai.

Next weekend when we all met for dinner, I casually asked her - "That must have been a really terrifying experience. Did your whole life flash in front of your eyes?"

To which she blurted out - "No. Only Ramesh flashed" and then turned a crimson red when she realized what she had just said

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This was in the nineties, when email was just starting to make waves. My boss's steno forwarded a confidential document to me, which I was not supposed to even see. I was not in office, so did not see the email. She when she panicked when she realized her mistake and waited for me to return. The moment I walked, she cam running to me and here is the conversation:

Steno : Hi Rajan. I was waiting for you. I have done something terrible
Me : Calm down. What happened?
S: I sent out a confidential document to you by email. You are not supposed to see it.
Me: OK No problem. I will delete it.
S: No no. I dont want you to delete it. Please return it to me
Me: Huh? How do I do that?
S: Just reply to my email and attach that document back.
Me:

Rajan

[condor]

Originally Posted by Reisender

I actually couldn't make out from the first one.

@Reisender, "flash" in that sentence meant to briefly expose oneself (physically) to others.

[rohanjf]

When I got back home today, I found that my wife had prepared only rice (since she has been busy preparing for an SAP certification exam, which is on Thursday).

I asked her what she wanted to eat. She said she wants something light. I told her to sit in front of the tubelight with her mouth open.

After that, we have not had a conversation. She did eat what I prepared. I think I'm going to be the cook for the rest of my life :-(

[mayankk]

Originally Posted by rohanjf

When I got back home today, I found that my wife had prepared only rice (since she has been busy preparing for an SAP certification exam, which is on Thursday).

I asked her what she wanted to eat. She said she wants something light. I told her to sit in front of the tubelight with her mouth open.

After that, we have not had a conversation. She did eat what I prepared. I think I'm going to be the cook for the rest of my life :-(

Holy stuff! !
This is too funny.
Only one thing though.
Was it worth it?

[dockap]

Originally Posted by rohanjf

When I got back home today, I found that my wife had prepared only rice (since she has been busy preparing for an SAP certification exam, which is on Thursday).

I asked her what she wanted to eat. She said she wants something light. I told her to sit in front of the tubelight with her mouth open.

After that, we have not had a conversation. She did eat what I prepared. I think I'm going to be the cook for the rest of my life :-(

How long have you been married? when i read your tubelight sentence i thought the next line would mention she hit you on the head with the tubelight. Some advice from my side- never crack jokes on food or her cloths with your wife .

[rohanjf]

Originally Posted by dockap

How long have you been married? when i read your tubelight sentence i thought the next line would mention she hit you on the head with the tubelight. Some advice from my side- never crack jokes on food or her cloths with your wife .

Married for about 6 weeks now. May be that's why I was not physically attacked. Or may be that she can't easily reach the tubelight ;-)

BTW, I was expected to remember the first month's completion of married life too. But I did not know the rules!

[IronH4WK]

Originally Posted by rohanjf

When I got back home today, I found that my wife had prepared only rice (since she has been busy preparing for an SAP certification exam, which is on Thursday).

Snip..

After that, we have not had a conversation. She did eat what I prepared. I think I'm going to be the cook for the rest of my life :-(

Dude, isn't the story other way around - you asked for a light dinner and she asked you to sit in front of the tube light with your mouth open? No? Wonder why I remember it that way.

Originally Posted by mayankk

Was it worth it?

Hell yeah! For everything else there is MasterCard

He's gonna face the consequences though

[carwatcher]

Originally Posted by rohanjf

Married for about 6 weeks now. May be that's why I was not physically attacked. Or may be that she can't easily reach the tubelight ;-)
BTW, I was expected to remember the first month's completion of married life too. But I did not know the rules!

You read your post after few years and believe me you won't believe yourself that you actually did something like that.
But anyway you will have the proof here on T-BHP and which will make you feel good/miserable at the same time.

[rohanjf]

Originally Posted by carwatcher

You read your post after few years and believe me you won't believe yourself that you actually did something like that.
But anyway you will have the proof here on T-BHP and which will make you feel good/miserable at the same time.

Today I got back home from early morning football game and there was no breakfast. And the reason was: breakfast should be light :-D.

May be you can help me how Goan women think. My wife is from Ponda.

[IronH4WK]

Originally Posted by rohanjf

Today I got back home from early morning football game and there was no breakfast. And the reason was: breakfast should be light :-D.

see, the cold war begins! bro, make amends i tell ya - you both got your whole life ahead; don't wanna be having light food everyday

[carwatcher]

Originally Posted by rohanjf

Today I got back home from early morning football game and there was no breakfast. And the reason was: breakfast should be light :-D.
May be you can help me how Goan women think. My wife is from Ponda.

I believe all women think alike and it doesn't matter which part of the universe they come from. (same applies to men)
I suggest you to go through famous book "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus" book by John Gray, if not gone earlier.
PS: My adventures.
http://www.team-bhp.com/forum/shifti...ml#post2594481
also read few posts after this one.

[mayankk]

Originally Posted by rohanjf

Today I got back home from early morning football game and there was no breakfast. And the reason was: breakfast should be light :-D.

May be you can help me how Goan women think. My wife is from Ponda.

Horoscope for your wallet indicates jewellery, flowers, and of course, food!

Edit:thanks carwatcher.
Yes, also every chick flick from now to kingdom come!

[carwatcher]

Originally Posted by mayankk

Horoscope for your wallet indicates jewellery, flowers, and of course, food!

How on earth could you miss 'a Movie in a multiplex'!!!

[selfdrive]

From women to kids.

We (me, wife and my son then all of 4 years) are having breakfast in our hotel in Lucerne. A lady on the table next to us leans forward and kisses the guy seated opposite her. My son sees this and points my wife to look out the window on the other side of the table away from the couple. At nothing really. Only to ensure she does not see the kissing scene. He must be the smallest censor guy I have seen.
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Back to school in India
After a year and a bit of attending school in EU, sonny boy attends school in India for the first time. Now his school here has a moving class. So kids move through different classes and the canteen through the day. When he returns home, he doesnt eat any lunch and just dozes off. We ask him the reason, but he says nothing and we assume he is just tired.
At the end of the first week, we have our first meeting with the teachers. Apparently on the first day, his first session was at the canteen. He did not know anybody in his class, so out of sheer force of habit he assumed the canteen was his classroom and stayed at his seat. Had breakfast 3 times in the next 3 sessions. During the 4th session/ period, the person serving food realised this kid is not eating anything and then asked someone else who then realised he had not moved to another class at all. They checked if he was unwell, but just seemed a bit drowsy because he ate so much.