[hrman]

Once when travelling from Delhi to Chandigarh by Shatabdi, the Waiter came for taking our order for Breakfast. We asked him" khaney ke liye kya hai" (Whats on the menu). He said Bread-Jam and Mavda. My colleague and I asked him 3-4 times, what was Mavda? He said it was a South-Indian dish. Being a South Indian, I declared that even I have never eaten it nor heard of it before. But we still decided to order it to see what it tasted like.

Turns out the dish was "Upma Vada". The way the guy was pronouncing it, sounded like Mavda.. My colleagues and I had a hearty laugh after that. Incidentally, the lady sitting next to me heard it as "Bavda"..

[SS-Traveller]

My quota of entertainment in Kolkata this afternoon... Cop fined me, I fined cop.

Was parked in a supposedly 'no parking' zone, engine & AC running (over 90% humidity now, no rain). Motorcycle-borne traffic sergeant pulls up and is determined to 'challan' me. Ok, he decided to be nice and let me go with a spot fine (Rs.150), because I decided it was not worth it to run away (with my DL plates, he couldn't have sent me a notice either). Fine collected, receipt issued, it was time to move on.

But then, this guy was smoking (a Classic, no less! My brand!). On duty. In a public place. I pointed it out to him. He gave me a very sheepish grin. I asked him for one. He gave it to me, even lit it. Wife was aghast. "How mean could you be, cadging a cigarette from a cop?" Told her (in front of the cop), "That's his fine for smoking on duty."

Since then, I've been every time I remember the cop's face.

[mayankk]

There's this politico who lives acrss from my house, and recently became CM.
Once a month or sometimes, he comes over to this house now.
However, what precedes his arrival, and what happens in hos stay practically brings the whole locality to a grinding halt.
BDSs, cops, assorted innovas/LRs/XCs/Audis and the ubiquitous Ambys.
and then there's a hundred outstation cops who start asking everyone where they are going.
So this pre-visit started happening today, I took my car out and was stuck immediately.
Honked to part the sea of white, and these four cops came through, and one of them actually put his palm out, telling me to stop.
So i honked, and honked some more.
Apparently there was some industrialist types heading in on his S class, for which he was holding me up!
No, I probably don't make as much as him, but whatever I do, I have to eke it out of every minute.
And every minute I spend standing here is that extra 10 that will be wasted on the Eway.
Parked myself on the horn, and inched ahead and out, till the cop had to stop the merc and let me through.
I mean, ok, for the politic who stays here, but goddamned if I am gonna kowtow for this crap.

Window was down, the cop was at my side, and in a "theth" accent says, " Bahut jaldi hai? 2 minute ruk nahi sakta?"
(too much hurry, you have? wait for two minutes, you couldnt?)
(he didnt sound like Yoda, this was just my mind)
I said, "Faltu time hota to main bhi XX police mein chala jaata."
(Would have chosen your job if I had time to waste.)
No offense meant to anyone. Offense was only for this specific gent.
Drove off.


I dont think I should be going home today, I feel.

[IronH4WK]

Originally Posted by mayankk

I dont think I should be going home today, I feel.

hehe.. i agree master Yoda!

this is what is called aa bail mujhe maar! (come bull me hit)! wait it out and hope that the cop has short term memory loss problem!

[VeyronSuperSprt]

This is a true story. I actually posted this in response to an intro, but it would do justice here:


A friend of mine narrated to me the first meeting with his girlfriend who was to later become his fiance.

He, being a car buff, went to great length to describe his car - the engine, the power, the torque, the top speed, the roll on figures, the fuel efficiency, comparison with other similar cars, the modifications he had done to the engine, suspension, exhaust, etc.

After about 15 minutes of thus describing his car he was eager to know about her car and asked, “So, what car do you drive? ”

She replied “A blue one”.

He has the impression that amongst the many factors that could have helped him win her heart, the major one may not have been his love of cars.

[liferocks]

This is a good one and i guess all of us have gone through this.

Me: Mom i am getting bored.
Mom: Beta if you are getting bored then why dont you go and study?
Me: ???????

[_raVan_]

I have a problem with going to discs. I hate to dance.

Apparently, my project party was hosted in such a place. First thing you need to admit is that we indians (especially from my project) are the worst dancers of the lot. Sitting on the couch sipping juices* (seriously, I was driving after that) wont help either. Once in while I can evade colleagues coming up and pulling my hand to dance with common excuses like "I came just now from the dance floor".

And then comes a time when you actually have to hit the dance floor.

So I go in, fling my right hand in air thrice, shake my legs as if shifting weight from one leg to other, and shout "WOO HOOOO" once.

Colleagues happy... CHECK
Me happy... CHECK
Manager happy... DOUBLE CHECK

Not bad huh?

[sachinj12]

A month back, during an interview:

Interviewer : Which was the last movie you watched? What did you like about it?

Me (truthfully and mechanically): Vicky Donor.

After a second or so I realized what I had blurted out <face palm>. The interviewers were smirking. I am grateful both the interviewers were male.

[hrman]

This incident happened with my dad many years ago.
Dad was in a mill in Bombay, in charge of admin and Personnel. The factory head of security used to carry a pistol with him and was on his rounds. He happened to stop by dad’s office for a chat and when he was on his way, forgot his pistol on Dad’s desk. Amongst the paperwork , dad didn’t notice the pistol.

The office peon came into dad’s cabin a few moments later and noticed the pistol and asked dad about it.
Dad jokingly remarked “This is for latecomers”.

When dad was at lunch, one of his colleagues told him that the peon was going around telling the staff that, “Ab se office time pe aana padega, nahin to Iyer saab Goli Maar denge”.
Translated: “From now on, we will have to come to office on time or Iyer sir will shoot us”.

We still have a hearty laugh when we recall this incident.. :-)

[SS-Traveller]

I did a spot of "good Samaritan" work yesterday - I stopped a fight.

Here's what happened:

On the way back home in the afternoon, there was a loud crash, and I noticed a rear-ending happen in my lane, about 10-12 cars in front (advantage the elevated seating in a Scorpio). The lane stopped moving, and I switched to the next lane.

The next lane slowed to a crawl as rubber-neckers started to take a really good look at the damage up ahead. It was a Nano that had rammed into the back of a Honda City ZX - surprisingly, there was very little structural damage to the Nano, but the City had suffered a caved-in bootlid and flattened bumper. A brawl was starting up already, sleeves rolled up and fists ready for contact.

I rubber-necked too. In fact, I stopped and rolled my window down, because the damage to either car was not to the extent I expected - i.e., I was expecting the Nano to fare worse, and the City to fare better!

Spontaneous comment (loudly): Arre bhaiya, machchhar kaata, aur City ko dengue ho gaya? (A mosquito bit the City and it caught dengue?)

In my ORVM, I could see the fight had stopped, and both parties were glaring at me.

[chetan_l]

There are times when our servant maid skips work and at such times, we request an 'aaya' to help out with the house-hold work. This lady is very diligent and intense in her work, and we realized to what extent only a few days back.

My wife had taken out a new non-stick 'kadaii' and had cooked some gravy item before putting the utensil for cleaning. The aaya came in to clean the utensils and she got busy with her work while my wife got busy with some other chores.

The aaya took an unusually long time with the vessels and my wife realized something was amiss. She went to check out the scene - and there was the aaya, who had spent tireless effort...in scrubbing out all the black non-stick coating from the kadaii! She turned the non-stick kadaii to an all-shiny aluminium one!

[mb_jg]

On a routine weekend grocery shopping trip to Dorabjee's, I was pushing the cart, my wife-who is usually in a dazed state during any shopping activity was busy picking things off the shelves & dumping them in the cart.

After a moment she looked up to see me smirking, instantly knowing that smirk of mine meant something she looked around to find a girl (stranger) also smirking quietly at her.

My wife had been dumping groceries in the girl's cart without a clue, & we were smiling away at each other & had watched my wife do it for a good minute or so without her realizing it.

What followed was uncontrollable, loud laughing, no words, just laughing, & then just like that we walked away saying goodbye to that girl.

[IronH4WK]

Originally Posted by mb_jg

then just like that we walked away saying goodbye to that girl.

you telling me this story had a happy ending?

you didn't have to sleep on the couch? you sure?

[mb_jg]

Originally Posted by IronH4WK

you telling me this story had a happy ending?

you didn't have to sleep on the couch? you sure?

LOL, no, no couch business

[TKMCE]

Happened in mid 1990s in Anna Salai Chennai. Small vegetarian hotel near Triplicane.

Asked for Lime Soda. Waiter not able to comprehend. Two or three attempts later, decided to give up when suddenly they seemed to have got the hang of it.

Out comes a tray with a lemon cut in two pieces, a bottle of soda and salt and sugar as well!!! DIY please!!!


The next one- although this one has a tragic connotation

In one of the olympic games in the 1980s, a swimmer from a small South American country created history by becoming his nation's first medal winner in the Olympic games. A few months later, one of the airplanes of the national airline of the same country got involved in an accident. Initital reports mentioned the swimmer also among the passengers of the ill fated aircraft!!!

While the accident happened, it turned out that the swimmer was not in the aircraft at all . Reason for the confusion - the country had honoured the swimmer by naming an aircraft of the national airline in his name to honour his achievement and it was the aircraft and not the swimmer which got involved in the accident.