The Official Joke thread

binz · 22nd September 2006, 19:55

Quote:

Originally Posted by iraghava

ROTFLMAO

Plz enlighten...does rotflmao stand for Rolling on the floor laughing my a$$ off...*im stupid smiley*
Im serious coz many a time have seen gto use it and keep wondering what exactly it means??

iraghava · 22nd September 2006, 20:01

Quote:

Originally Posted by binz

Plz enlighten...does rotflmao stand for Rolling on the floor laughing my a$$ off...*im stupid smiley*
Im serious coz many a time have seen gto use it and keep wondering what exactly it means??

Yup that's what it stands for and sorry TBHP doesn't have a You're Stupid smiley

(Just kidding)

binz · 22nd September 2006, 20:05

Thanks man!

Quote:

Originally Posted by iraghava

TBHP doesn't have a You're Stupid smiley

(Just kidding)

IT used to have it till recently...maybe coz i used it excessively i guess

GTO · 23rd September 2006, 16:39

An unusual smart blonde joke!!

A blonde walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan officer. She says she's going to Europe on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5,000. The bank officer says the bank will need some kind of security for
the loan, so the blonde hands over the keys to a new Mercedes Benz SL 500. The car is parked on the street in front of the bank. She has the title, and everything checks out. The bank agrees to accept the car collateral for the loan. The bank's president and its officers all enjoy a good laugh at the blonde for using a $110,000 Benz as collateral against a $5,000 loan.

An employee of the bank then proceeds to drive the Benz into the bank's underground garage and parks it there.

Two weeks later, the blonde returns. She repays the $5,000 and the interest, which comes to $15.41. The loan officer says, "Miss, we are very happy to have had your
business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a little puzzled. While you were away, we checked you out and found that you are a multimillionaire. What puzzles us is, why would you bother to
borrow $5,000?

The blonde replies, "Where else in New York City can I park my car for two weeks for only $15.41 and expect it to be there when I return?"

rsjaurr · 23rd September 2006, 18:04

that was very hilarious condor...keep it up.

Harrie · 23rd September 2006, 20:01

Quote:

Originally Posted by rsjaurr

that was very hilarious condor...keep it up.

Its a real life incident. I can vouch for it. But some parts are missing from it I guess. It was a whole lot bigger. If I were to say where this took place people would start rethinking about the company

condor · 23rd September 2006, 20:54

Harrie, have edited the names & any other references .. but it's an actual thread .. It's still their community bulletin board and the guys are having their fun.

GTO, that smart blonde seems an expert at disguises:
http://www.team-bhp.com/forum/260523-post1353.html
http://www.team-bhp.com/forum/218490-post1140.html
http://www.team-bhp.com/forum/103078-post304.html
http://www.team-bhp.com/forum/64913-post133.html

iraghava · 24th September 2006, 11:30

Your bad neighborhood is getting worse.

The rats are moving out.
A new 99-Cent Bullet Store just opened and you can't afford anything it sells.
You're considering a peaceful vacation to the Gaza Strip.
Nothing reminds you of Christmas like abandoned cars on fire.
The muggers get mugged by bigger muggers.

You’re super-rich

Your bidet squirts champagne.
Wearing a leather thong to the opera does not embarrass you.
Walk? That’s what the midget Eskimos are for! Mush, midget Eskimos! Mush!
Your private submarine flies.
Chicks dig you despite your looks and personality.

Hollywood is out of ideas

The Today Show—The Movie!
Steven Segal in Three-Word Action Title!
Tetris—The Film— About the Movie!
Will Smith is Harmless Smart-Mouthed Brother!
Pearl Harbor II

You might be He-Man

Muscles. Must grease ripe, luscious muscles.
Skeletor? A$$hole.
You don’t have nipples.
That Man-at-Arms is such a handful!
You look smashing in goat-hair trunks and a gold belt.

You’re Batman

Man, don’t you look good in a cape.
That Ikea table really opens up the cave.
You like hanging out with young masked men in scaly green underwear.
Your pointy-eared cowl chafes your mighty, justice-hungry nose.
Speak up! Stop whispering, tough guy!

The FBI is on to you

The mailbox sneezes.
Someone snickers during phone sex.
Wait a second…who’s been eating all my doughnuts?
Your mother suddenly bears a strange resemblance to John Ashcroft.
You find a second hidden camera in the shower.

God hates your guts

Angels leave flaming bags of dog crap on your doorstep.
Lightening strikes not only twice, but three times.
Jesus is all, “So…I hear God hates your guts.”
You’re celibate…and you have herpes and the clap.
Your testicles are square.

karthik247 · 24th September 2006, 14:25

Mallu Interview

A "Mallu" female (from the heart of Kerala) went for a job interview for the post of a SECRETARY. When the manager saw the Mallu's colorful attire and gold and well oiled uncombed jet black hair, his mind was screaming "Not This Woman." Nevertheless, he still had to entertain the Mallu.
So he told her, "If You could form a sentence using the words that I give you, then may be I will give you a chance! The words are GREEN, PINK, YELLOW, BLUE, WHITE, PURPLE and BLACK."
The enthusiastic Mallu lady thought for a while and said:
"I hear the phone GREEN GREEN GREEN, then I go and PINK up the phone,I say YELLOW..... BLUE's that? WHITE did you say? Aiye, Wrong number.. ... Don't PURPLELY disturb people and don't call BLACK, yokeeyy? Thank you."
The Manager fainted.....

rsjaurr · 24th September 2006, 18:29

Quote:

Originally Posted by Harrie

Its a real life incident. I can vouch for it. But some parts are missing from it I guess. It was a whole lot bigger. If I were to say where this took place people would start rethinking about the company

i knew it was real and guys on forum were just having fun.
And i also know why infosys guys were after 'devgowda'

.I do read newspapers and keep track of political news.

Anyway it was very hilarious and i literally had tears in my eyes [khushi ke ansu..u know]

condor · 24th September 2006, 21:21

Harrie, I thought you were doing something else, far away from all that action - how did you get involved in that, that you can vouch for what happened there ?

2L8uLoose · 25th September 2006, 09:36

Little Tommy was doing very badly in math. His parents had tried everything; tutors, flash cards, special learning centers, in short, everything they could think of. Finally in a last ditch effort, they took Tommy down & enrolled him in the local Catholic School.
After the first day, little Tommy comes home with a very serious look on his face. He doesn’t kiss his mother hello. Instead, he goes straight to his room & starts studying.
Books & papers are spread out all over the room and little Tommy is hard at work. His mother is amazed. She calls him down to dinner and to her shock, the minute he is done he marches back to his room without a word and in no time he is back hitting the books as hard as before. This goes on for sometime, day after day while the mother tries to understand what made all the difference.
Finally, little Tommy brings home his report card. He quietly lays it on the table and goes up to his room and hits the books. With great trepidation, his mom looks at it and to her surprise, little
Tommy got an A in math. She can no longer hold her curiosity. She goes to his room and says: “Son, what was it? Was it the nuns?” Little Tommy looks at her and shakes his head. “Well, then,” she replies, “was it the books, the discipline, the structure, the uniforms, WHAT was it?” Little Tommy looks at her and says, “Well, on the first day of school, when I saw that guy nailed to the plus sign, I knew they weren’t fooling around.”

Samurai · 25th September 2006, 12:24

Quote:

Originally Posted by Harrie

Its a real life incident. I can vouch for it. But some parts are missing from it I guess. It was a whole lot bigger. If I were to say where this took place people would start rethinking about the company

I guess it will be fair to expect the following image soon in job classifieds. I'll leave the copywriting part to the experts.

iraghava · 25th September 2006, 18:12

Sorry, indecent images got to go! - Mod Team

condor · 25th September 2006, 19:03

Is that Greg C in the last pic here ?

23rd September 2006, 18:04	#1535
rsjaurr BHPian Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: Batala Posts: 777 Thanked: 28 Times	that was very hilarious condor...keep it up. Last edited by rsjaurr : 23rd September 2006 at 18:06.

23rd September 2006, 20:54	#1537
condor Distinguished - BHPian Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: Speed-brkr City Posts: 15,864 Thanked: 16,014 Times View My Garage	Harrie, have edited the names & any other references .. but it's an actual thread .. It's still their community bulletin board and the guys are having their fun. GTO, that smart blonde seems an expert at disguises: http://www.team-bhp.com/forum/260523-post1353.html http://www.team-bhp.com/forum/218490-post1140.html http://www.team-bhp.com/forum/103078-post304.html http://www.team-bhp.com/forum/64913-post133.html Last edited by condor : 23rd September 2006 at 21:05.

24th September 2006, 11:30	#1538
iraghava Senior - BHPian Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: Bhaiyyaland Posts: 8,033 Thanked: 265 Times View My Garage	5 Signs Your bad neighborhood is getting worse. The rats are moving out. A new 99-Cent Bullet Store just opened and you can't afford anything it sells. You're considering a peaceful vacation to the Gaza Strip. Nothing reminds you of Christmas like abandoned cars on fire. The muggers get mugged by bigger muggers. You’re super-rich Your bidet squirts champagne. Wearing a leather thong to the opera does not embarrass you. Walk? That’s what the midget Eskimos are for! Mush, midget Eskimos! Mush! Your private submarine flies. Chicks dig you despite your looks and personality. Hollywood is out of ideas The Today Show—The Movie! Steven Segal in Three-Word Action Title! Tetris—The Film— About the Movie! Will Smith is Harmless Smart-Mouthed Brother! Pearl Harbor II You might be He-Man Muscles. Must grease ripe, luscious muscles. Skeletor? A$$hole. You don’t have nipples. That Man-at-Arms is such a handful! You look smashing in goat-hair trunks and a gold belt. You’re Batman Man, don’t you look good in a cape. That Ikea table really opens up the cave. You like hanging out with young masked men in scaly green underwear. Your pointy-eared cowl chafes your mighty, justice-hungry nose. Speak up! Stop whispering, tough guy! The FBI is on to you The mailbox sneezes. Someone snickers during phone sex. Wait a second…who’s been eating all my doughnuts? Your mother suddenly bears a strange resemblance to John Ashcroft. You find a second hidden camera in the shower. God hates your guts Angels leave flaming bags of dog crap on your doorstep. Lightening strikes not only twice, but three times. Jesus is all, “So…I hear God hates your guts.” You’re celibate…and you have herpes and the clap. Your testicles are square.

25th September 2006, 18:12	#1544
iraghava Senior - BHPian Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: Bhaiyyaland Posts: 8,033 Thanked: 265 Times View My Garage	Sorry, indecent images got to go! - Mod Team Last edited by Samurai : 25th September 2006 at 22:46.

23rd September 2006, 16:39	#1534
GTO Team-BHP Support Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: Bombay Posts: 70,512 Thanked: 300,696 Times View My Garage	An unusual smart blonde joke!! A blonde walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan officer. She says she's going to Europe on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5,000. The bank officer says the bank will need some kind of security for the loan, so the blonde hands over the keys to a new Mercedes Benz SL 500. The car is parked on the street in front of the bank. She has the title, and everything checks out. The bank agrees to accept the car collateral for the loan. The bank's president and its officers all enjoy a good laugh at the blonde for using a $110,000 Benz as collateral against a $5,000 loan. An employee of the bank then proceeds to drive the Benz into the bank's underground garage and parks it there. Two weeks later, the blonde returns. She repays the $5,000 and the interest, which comes to $15.41. The loan officer says, "Miss, we are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a little puzzled. While you were away, we checked you out and found that you are a multimillionaire. What puzzles us is, why would you bother to borrow $5,000? The blonde replies, "Where else in New York City can I park my car for two weeks for only $15.41 and expect it to be there when I return?"

24th September 2006, 14:25	#1539
karthik247 Senior - BHPian Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: BLR, HYD Posts: 2,710 Thanked: 30 Times	Mallu Interview A "Mallu" female (from the heart of Kerala) went for a job interview for the post of a SECRETARY. When the manager saw the Mallu's colorful attire and gold and well oiled uncombed jet black hair, his mind was screaming "Not This Woman." Nevertheless, he still had to entertain the Mallu. So he told her, "If You could form a sentence using the words that I give you, then may be I will give you a chance! The words are GREEN, PINK, YELLOW, BLUE, WHITE, PURPLE and BLACK." The enthusiastic Mallu lady thought for a while and said: "I hear the phone GREEN GREEN GREEN, then I go and PINK up the phone,I say YELLOW..... BLUE's that? WHITE did you say? Aiye, Wrong number.. ... Don't PURPLELY disturb people and don't call BLACK, yokeeyy? Thank you." The Manager fainted.....

24th September 2006, 21:21	#1541
condor Distinguished - BHPian Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: Speed-brkr City Posts: 15,864 Thanked: 16,014 Times View My Garage	Harrie, I thought you were doing something else, far away from all that action - how did you get involved in that, that you can vouch for what happened there ?

25th September 2006, 09:36	#1542
2L8uLoose BANNED Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Bombay Posts: 628 Thanked: 6 Times View My Garage	Little Tommy was doing very badly in math. His parents had tried everything; tutors, flash cards, special learning centers, in short, everything they could think of. Finally in a last ditch effort, they took Tommy down & enrolled him in the local Catholic School. After the first day, little Tommy comes home with a very serious look on his face. He doesn’t kiss his mother hello. Instead, he goes straight to his room & starts studying. Books & papers are spread out all over the room and little Tommy is hard at work. His mother is amazed. She calls him down to dinner and to her shock, the minute he is done he marches back to his room without a word and in no time he is back hitting the books as hard as before. This goes on for sometime, day after day while the mother tries to understand what made all the difference. Finally, little Tommy brings home his report card. He quietly lays it on the table and goes up to his room and hits the books. With great trepidation, his mom looks at it and to her surprise, little Tommy got an A in math. She can no longer hold her curiosity. She goes to his room and says: “Son, what was it? Was it the nuns?” Little Tommy looks at her and shakes his head. “Well, then,” she replies, “was it the books, the discipline, the structure, the uniforms, WHAT was it?” Little Tommy looks at her and says, “Well, on the first day of school, when I saw that guy nailed to the plus sign, I knew they weren’t fooling around.”

25th September 2006, 19:03	#1545
condor Distinguished - BHPian Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: Speed-brkr City Posts: 15,864 Thanked: 16,014 Times View My Garage	Is that Greg C in the last pic here ?