The Official Joke thread

revtech · 26th October 2005, 15:33

An American soldier, serving in World War II, had just returned from several weeks of intense action on the German front lines. He had finally been granted R&R and was on a train bound for London.

The train was very crowded, so the soldier walked the length of the train, looking for an empty seat. The only unoccupied seat was directly adjacent to a well dressed middle aged lady and was being used by her little dog. The war weary soldier asked, "Please, ma'am, may I sit in that seat?" The English woman looked down her nose at the soldier, sniffed and said, "You Americans. You are such a rude class of people. Can't you see my little Fifi is using that seat?"

The soldier walked away, determined to find a place to rest, but after another trip down to the end of the train, found himself again facing the woman with the dog. Again he asked, "Please, lady. May I sit there? I'm very tired." The English woman wrinkled her nose and snorted, "You Americans! Not only are you rude, you are also arrogant. Imagine!"

The soldier didn't say anything else. He leaned over, picked up the little dog, tossed it out the window of the train and sat down in the empty seat. The woman shrieked and demanded that someone defend her and chastise the soldier. An English gentleman sitting across the aisle spoke up, "You know, sir, you Americans do seem to have a penchant for doing the wrong thing. You eat holding the fork in the wrong hand. You drive your autos on the wrong side of the road.

And now, sir, you've thrown the wrong bitch out of the window."

AvinashKeezh · 26th October 2005, 16:01

Quote:

Originally Posted by Scuderia

Yeah, captured em through my cell-cam.

Ulta speaker... me still guessing

he said is that an ulta speaker!!! upside down!!!!! but why would any body so that!!! just so to let it stably placed

... who knows!!!

ak

Rishi · 28th October 2005, 10:40

The National Highway Safety Council has done extensive testing on a newly designed seat belt. Results show that accidents can be reduced by as much as 45% when the belt is properly installed. Correct installation is illustrated below:

iraghava · 28th October 2005, 18:45

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rishi

The National Highway Safety Council has done extensive testing on a newly designed seat belt. Results show that accidents can be reduced by as much as 45% when the belt is properly installed. Correct installation is illustrated below:

HAHAHAHAHA That's hilarious Rishi !!

Sam Kapasi · 29th October 2005, 15:43

Amitabh Bachchan - " Aur ab Bangalore se, electronics enthusiast Vivek Phadnis hamare Hot seat par"
Vivek - waves the Sam way. (if you dont know what that is, there is actually a video doing the rounds lol)

Pehla sawaal, 1000 rupyo ke liye (tadadadada)

DIY ka full form kya hai - What is the full form of DIY

A) Did it Yesterday
B) Dick is yellow
C) Do it yourself
D) Dede isko Yamaha

V - Sir I would like to "phone a friend"
AB- Aap kisse phone karna chahenge?
V- Sir I would like to phone Navin Advani
AB- Kya karte hain Navinji
V- Sir woh thode paagal hai
(phone rings)
(airtel tune)

AB- Namaste Navinji, aap kaise hai, Main Amitabh Bachchan bol raha hu, Kaun banega crorepati dwitiya se. Hamare saamne aapke mitr baithe hai...

Navin - Im sorry i dont understand Hindi. Who is this and what do you want and why do you want it? What is the real reason for asking this question? I have found that when people ask questions in a language I dont understand, they are indeed trying to hide an inner inadequacy. Remember I had my first soldering Iron in 1974 and it still works.If you ask me questions in a language I do not understand, I shall use it on your rear end, successfully.

AB - huh? OK, your friend Vivek would like to ask you a question. You have 30 seconds to answer.Your time starts now.

V- Navin, hi! What is the full form of DIY.

N - Well, Vivek, that is a difficult question to answer. There is a subjective way of looking at it and an objective way. I think what we should do is delve deeper into a mans psyche to try and understand why he uses abbreviations for terms that, under normal conditions do not require abbreviation. In fact I've often realised that the way 2 people say "DIY" differs. By differs I mean, their own voice will sound different to the while uttering the words from their oral apertures. This is obviously due to the large difference in the dimensions of their tympanic membrane...

AB- I'm sorry your 30 seconds are over.

ported_head · 29th October 2005, 16:09

ROTFLMFAO!!!!!!!

navin · 29th October 2005, 17:09

Sam there is no need to double post. a link would have been adequate.

revtech · 29th October 2005, 21:00

hahahaahah sam...dude how do you come up with stuff like that.your too funny.navin im sorry no offence but...hahahha

A mother and father took Little johnny to a nude beach. As the boy walked along the beach, he noticed that some of the ladies had boobs bigger than his mother's, and asked her why.

She told Little johnny, "The bigger they are the dumber the person is."

Little johnny, pleased with the answer, goes to play in the ocean but returns to tell his mother that many of the men have larger willies than his dad. His mother replied, "The bigger they are the dumber the person is."

Again satisfied with this answer, the boy returns to the ocean to play.

Shortly after, the boy returned again. He promptly tells his mother, "Daddy is talking to the dumbest girl on the beach and the longer he talks, the dumber he gets."

Rev

lamborghini · 29th October 2005, 22:04

HAHA.. Sam... ROTFLAMO.
Really sorry Navin but that was damn funny...

Sam Kapasi · 31st October 2005, 12:42

Quote:

Originally Posted by navin

Sam there is no need to double post. a link would have been adequate.

I apologise for double posting.

navin · 31st October 2005, 13:46

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sam Kapasi

The pics arent very clear...lol what is that, an ulta speaker?

nothing new guys, German Physiks and Ohm Speakers make drivers using the Walsh driver which looks very similar but is really a different beast.
http://www.ohm-speakers.com
http://www.german-physiks.de/NewFiles/BodyDDD.html

taking the concept of the bending wave transducer further is manger audio
http://www.manger-audio.co.uk/manger-speakers-tech.htm

there is a short history on loudspeakers here
http://www.qualitychimes.com/articles/Loudspeaker

k_ajay · 31st October 2005, 15:39

ROFL sam.... seriously, LMAO..... hahahaha..... Gud 1...

Scuderia · 31st October 2005, 17:03

Quote:

Originally Posted by navin

nothing new guys, German Physiks and Ohm Speakers make drivers using the Walsh driver which looks very similar but is really a different beast.
http://www.ohm-speakers.com
http://www.german-physiks.de/NewFiles/BodyDDD.html

taking the concept of the bending wave transducer further is manger audio
http://www.manger-audio.co.uk/manger-speakers-tech.htm

there is a short history on loudspeakers here
http://www.qualitychimes.com/articles/Loudspeaker

nothing of that sort guys...

just some usual rickwalla

autopsyche · 1st November 2005, 00:31

SAM SAM SAM! you had me in splits there... that was a classic. And all thanks to navinji without whom it would have been so incomplete (*me dodges the soldering iron*

)

HONDA_89 · 1st November 2005, 12:15

fiat-FRAUD IN AUTOMOBILE TRADE.

29th October 2005, 15:43	#575
Sam Kapasi Distinguished - BHPian Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: Mumbai (but wat Posts: 6,997 Thanked: 2,378 Times View My Garage	Kaun Banega Team-BHPpati Amitabh Bachchan - " Aur ab Bangalore se, electronics enthusiast Vivek Phadnis hamare Hot seat par" Vivek - waves the Sam way. (if you dont know what that is, there is actually a video doing the rounds lol) Pehla sawaal, 1000 rupyo ke liye (tadadadada) DIY ka full form kya hai - What is the full form of DIY A) Did it Yesterday B) Dick is yellow C) Do it yourself D) Dede isko Yamaha V - Sir I would like to "phone a friend" AB- Aap kisse phone karna chahenge? V- Sir I would like to phone Navin Advani AB- Kya karte hain Navinji V- Sir woh thode paagal hai (phone rings) (airtel tune) AB- Namaste Navinji, aap kaise hai, Main Amitabh Bachchan bol raha hu, Kaun banega crorepati dwitiya se. Hamare saamne aapke mitr baithe hai... Navin - Im sorry i dont understand Hindi. Who is this and what do you want and why do you want it? What is the real reason for asking this question? I have found that when people ask questions in a language I dont understand, they are indeed trying to hide an inner inadequacy. Remember I had my first soldering Iron in 1974 and it still works.If you ask me questions in a language I do not understand, I shall use it on your rear end, successfully. AB - huh? OK, your friend Vivek would like to ask you a question. You have 30 seconds to answer.Your time starts now. V- Navin, hi! What is the full form of DIY. N - Well, Vivek, that is a difficult question to answer. There is a subjective way of looking at it and an objective way. I think what we should do is delve deeper into a mans psyche to try and understand why he uses abbreviations for terms that, under normal conditions do not require abbreviation. In fact I've often realised that the way 2 people say "DIY" differs. By differs I mean, their own voice will sound different to the while uttering the words from their oral apertures. This is obviously due to the large difference in the dimensions of their tympanic membrane... AB- I'm sorry your 30 seconds are over. Last edited by Sam Kapasi : 29th October 2005 at 15:59.

26th October 2005, 15:33	#571
revtech Senior - BHPian Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Bombay Posts: 1,992 Thanked: 38 Times View My Garage	An American soldier, serving in World War II, had just returned from several weeks of intense action on the German front lines. He had finally been granted R&R and was on a train bound for London. The train was very crowded, so the soldier walked the length of the train, looking for an empty seat. The only unoccupied seat was directly adjacent to a well dressed middle aged lady and was being used by her little dog. The war weary soldier asked, "Please, ma'am, may I sit in that seat?" The English woman looked down her nose at the soldier, sniffed and said, "You Americans. You are such a rude class of people. Can't you see my little Fifi is using that seat?" The soldier walked away, determined to find a place to rest, but after another trip down to the end of the train, found himself again facing the woman with the dog. Again he asked, "Please, lady. May I sit there? I'm very tired." The English woman wrinkled her nose and snorted, "You Americans! Not only are you rude, you are also arrogant. Imagine!" The soldier didn't say anything else. He leaned over, picked up the little dog, tossed it out the window of the train and sat down in the empty seat. The woman shrieked and demanded that someone defend her and chastise the soldier. An English gentleman sitting across the aisle spoke up, "You know, sir, you Americans do seem to have a penchant for doing the wrong thing. You eat holding the fork in the wrong hand. You drive your autos on the wrong side of the road. And now, sir, you've thrown the wrong bitch out of the window."

28th October 2005, 10:40	#573
Rishi BHPian Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: Navi Mumbai Posts: 54 Thanked: 0 Times	The National Highway Safety Council has done extensive testing on a newly designed seat belt. Results show that accidents can be reduced by as much as 45% when the belt is properly installed. Correct installation is illustrated below:

29th October 2005, 16:09	#576
ported_head Senior - BHPian Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: Mumbai, India Posts: 2,387 Thanked: 20 Times	ROTFLMFAO!!!!!!!

29th October 2005, 17:09	#577
navin Team-BHP Support Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: Mumbai Posts: 25,199 Thanked: 9,308 Times	Sam there is no need to double post. a link would have been adequate.

29th October 2005, 21:00	#578
revtech Senior - BHPian Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Bombay Posts: 1,992 Thanked: 38 Times View My Garage	hahahaahah sam...dude how do you come up with stuff like that.your too funny.navin im sorry no offence but...hahahha A mother and father took Little johnny to a nude beach. As the boy walked along the beach, he noticed that some of the ladies had boobs bigger than his mother's, and asked her why. She told Little johnny, "The bigger they are the dumber the person is." Little johnny, pleased with the answer, goes to play in the ocean but returns to tell his mother that many of the men have larger willies than his dad. His mother replied, "The bigger they are the dumber the person is." Again satisfied with this answer, the boy returns to the ocean to play. Shortly after, the boy returned again. He promptly tells his mother, "Daddy is talking to the dumbest girl on the beach and the longer he talks, the dumber he gets." Rev

29th October 2005, 22:04	#579
lamborghini Distinguished - BHPian Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Mumbai Posts: 6,114 Thanked: 5,764 Times View My Garage	HAHA.. Sam... ROTFLAMO. Really sorry Navin but that was damn funny...

31st October 2005, 15:39	#582
k_ajay Senior - BHPian Join Date: May 2005 Location: Bangalore Posts: 1,379 Thanked: 1,138 Times View My Garage	ROFL sam.... seriously, LMAO..... hahahaha..... Gud 1...

1st November 2005, 00:31	#584
autopsyche Senior - BHPian Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: New Delhi, Indi Posts: 1,519 Thanked: 33 Times View My Garage	SAM SAM SAM! you had me in splits there... that was a classic. And all thanks to navinji without whom it would have been so incomplete (me dodges the soldering iron )

1st November 2005, 12:15	#585
HONDA_89 BANNED Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: BANGALORE Posts: 8 Thanked: 0 Times	fiat-FRAUD IN AUTOMOBILE TRADE.