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Old 29th May 2005, 00:55   #226
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3 + 3 = 8, batao kaise????

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Old 29th May 2005, 00:57   #227
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A man was sick and tired of going to work every day while his wife stayed home. He wanted her to see what he went through so he prayed: "Dear Lord: I go to work every day and put in 8 hours while my wife merely stays at home.

I want her to know what I go through, so please allow her body to switch with mine for a day. Amen". God, in his infinite wisdom, granted the man's wish. The next morning, sure enough, the man awoke as a woman.

He arose, cooked breakfast for his mate, awakened the kids, Set out their school clothes, fed them breakfast, packed their lunches, Drove them to school, came home and picked up the dry cleaning, took it to the cleaners And stopped at the bank to make a deposit, went grocery shopping, then drove home to put away the groceries, Paid the bills and balanced the checkbook.He cleaned the cat's litter box and bathed the dog.

Then it was already 1 P.M. and he hurried to make the beds, do the laundry, vacuum, dust, and sweep and mop the kitchen floor. Ran to the school to pick up the kids and got into an argument with them on the way home. Set out milk and cookies and got the kids organized to do their homework, Then set up the ironing board and watched TV while he did the ironing.

At 4:30 he began peeling potatoes and washing vegetables for salad, breaded the pork chops and snapped fresh beans for supper. After supper, he cleaned the kitchen, ran the dishwasher, folded laundry, bathed the kids, and put them to bed.

At 9 P.M. he was exhausted and, though his daily chores weren't finished, he went to bed where he was expected to make love, which he managed to get through without complaint.

The next morning, he awoke and immediately knelt by the bed and said, Lord, I don't know what I was thinking. I was so wrong to envy my wife's being able to stay home all day. Please, oh please, let us trade back."

The Lord, in his infinite wisdom, replied, "My son, I feel you have >learned your lesson and I will be happy to change things back to the way they were. You'll just have to wait nine months, though. You got pregnant last night."
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Old 29th May 2005, 22:41   #228
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Once a Cow, Elephant & a Donkey were debating on who is the greatest
the three. So here goes..................

Cow: I give 50 liters of milk every day and that's why im the greatest.

Elephant: I eat 100 Kg of sugarcane daily and that's why I am the







Hellooooooo!!!!!! What are you waiting for?!?!?!? It's your turn to speak up. :-)
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Old 29th May 2005, 23:01   #229
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Originally Posted by aggressive_anush
One day in the jungle a chimpanzee invented some tools to eat his dinner. One tool was a flat stick sharpened along one edge, which he used to cut his food. The other was a stick with four smaller sticks attached to the end, each sharpened to a point, which he used to spear his food and place it in his mouth. The chimp was very proud of his inventions which he called his ‘one point tool’ and his ‘four point tool.’

One day he awoke to find that the four point tool was missing. The chimp was distraught. He ran around the jungle trying to find his precious tool. First he came upon the lion.
"Lion, Lion!" he cried, "Have you seen my four point tool?"
"No. Replied the lion, I have not seen your four point tool."

Then the chimp came upon the gorilla.
"Gorilla, Gorilla! he cried, Have you seen my four point tool?"
"No, Replied the gorilla, I have not seen your four point tool."

Then the chimp came upon the jaguar.
"Jaguar, Jaguar! he cried, Have you seen my four point tool?"
"Yup!" replied the jaguar, "I have seen your four point tool."
"Well where is it?" inquired the chimp.
"I ate it." Said the jaguar, smugly.
"Why would you do that?" Cried the chimp.

"Because," replied the big cat, "I am a four point tool eater Jaguar..."


didnt quite get the joke...
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Old 30th May 2005, 11:10   #230
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population of india :p

The population of India is 100 crores.

But 19 crores are retired.

That leaves 81 crores do the work.

There are 25 crores in school,

which leaves 56 crores to do the work.

Of this there are 22 crores employed by the Central Government,

leaving 34 crores to do the work.

4 crores are in the Armed Forces, which leaves

30 crores to do the work.

Take away from above total the 20 crores people who

work for State Governments (State Government
employees officially do not work!)

And that leaves 10 crores to do the work.

Total unemployed are 8 crores and

that leaves 2 crores to do the work.

At any given time there are 1.2 crores people in

hospitals, leaving 80 lakhs to do the work.

Now, according to Indian Statistical Institute,

there are 79, 99,998 people in prisons throughout

the country.

That leaves just 2 people to do the work.......

You and me!!!

And currently YOU are sitting at your computer
logged on to tbhp

So I am the only person in our country who is

And that's why India is surviving!!!

Now, please log out and do your job because, for a change, I want to rest.

And I don't want India to suffer because of that.

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Old 30th May 2005, 14:31   #231
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aadix... i didnt get the joke immediately either.
read the last line aloud... you'll get it.
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Old 30th May 2005, 16:23   #232
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I am a four point tool eater Jaguar
= 4.2 litre Jaguar
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Old 6th June 2005, 15:47   #233
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A man dies and goes to hell. There he finds that there is a different hell for each country.

He goes to the German hell and asks, "What do they do here?" He is told, "First they put you in an electric chair for An hour. Then they lay you on a bed of nails for another hour. Then The German devil comes in and whips you for the rest of the day." The man does not like the sound of that at all, so he moves on. He checks out the USA hell as well as the Russian hell and many more. He discovers that they are all more or less the same as the German hell.

Then he comes to the Indian hell and finds that there is a long line of people waiting to get in. Amazed, he asks, "What do they do here?" He is told, "First they put you in an electric chair for an hour. Then they lay you on a bed of nails for another hour. Then the Indian devil comes in and whips you for the rest of the day." "But that is exactly the same as all the other hells - why are there so many people waiting to get in?"

"Because maintenance is so bad that the electric chair does not work,someone has stolen all the nails from the bed, and the devil is a former Govt servant, so he comes in, signs the register and then goes to the canteen!!!!!!

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Old 6th June 2005, 16:26   #234
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Interviewer: Why is a thicker conductor necessary to carry a current
in compared to D.C. ?
Candidate: An AC current goes up and down (drawing a sinusoid) and
requires more space inside the wire, so the wire has to be thicker.
Interviewer: How will you tell if that wall outlet carries AC or
DC?Candidate: I will put my finger in. If it is pushed away, it is AC.
If it gets stuck, it was DC.
Interviewer: How will you reverse direction of an Induction motor?
Candidate: I will remove the four bolts at the base,turn the motor
around, and put back the bolts.
Interviewer: How do you start a synchronous motor?
Candidate: Vrrrrrrrmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm (in rising pitch)
Interviewer: Stop! Stop!
Candidate: rrrrrrrmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm (in falling pitch)
Interviewer: How do you limit surge current within an integrated
Candidate: By using a miniature circuit breaker.
External (to student) : "Why does a capacitor block DC but allow AC
To pass through ?
Student: See, a capacitor is like this ---| |--- ,
OK. DC comes straight, like this ----------,
and the capacitor stops it. But AC,goes UP, DOWN, UP DOWN and jumps
right over the capacitor!"

Examiner: "What is a step-up transformer?"
Student: "A transformer that is put on top of electric poles."
Examiner (smiling): "And then what is a step-down transformer?"
Student (hesitantly):"Uh - A transformer that is put in the basement
or in a pit?"
Examiner (pouncing): "Then what do you call a transformer that is
installed on the ground?"
(Student knows he is caught-can't answer)
Examiner (impatiently): "Well?"
Student (triumphantly): "A stepless transformer, sir!"

************************************************** ****

Engineers at work:
Assignments solved by one and then carry out
mass transfer operations throughout the class

The most important machine for Engineers: Xerox
Machine (Without which assignment Completion wouldn't
be possible)
Engineers Anthem:
Hum hoge all clear Ek din,
Mann me hai vishwas, pura hai vishwas, hum hoge all clear ek din

Top two Engineering Rumours:
Did you hear the results are being put up today at 5:30pm'
'Did you hear the exams are postponed by two weeks
The most dreaded acronym for Engineers: ATKT ( After
Trying Keep Trying)

Common Engineering Dialogues after a paper:
'What is this pal, 60% of the paper was out of the
'This was the worst paper set in the entire
engineering history'

Last edited by shravan316 : 6th June 2005 at 16:30.
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Old 7th June 2005, 01:45   #235
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Hahaha read this

The Smiths were unable to conceive children, and
decided to use a surrogate father to start their
family. On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr.
Smith kissed his wife and said, "I'm off. The man
should be here soon".

Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door
baby photographer rang the doorbell, hoping to make a

"Good morning madam. I've come to......"
"Oh, no need to explain. I've been expecting you,"
Mrs. Smith cut in.

"Really?" the photographer asked. "Well, good! I've
made a specialty of babies."

That's what my husband and I had hoped. Please come in
and have a seat.

After a moment she asked, blushing, "Well, where do we

"Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the
bathtub, one on the couch and perhaps a couple on the
bed. Sometimes the living room floor is fun can really spread out!"

"Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn't work
or Harry and me."

"Well, madam, none of us can guarantee a good one
every time. But if we try several different positions
and I shoot from six or seven angles, I'm sure you'll
be pleased with the results."

"My, my, that's a lot of ..." gasped Mrs. Smith.

"Madam, in my line of work, a man must take his time.
I'd love to be in and out in five minutes, but you wouldn't
be disappointed with that, I'm sure."

"Don't I know it," Mrs. Smith said quietly. The
photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a
portfolio of his baby pictures.

"This was done on the top of a bus."

"Oh my god!" Mrs. Smith exclaimed, tugging at her
handkerchief. "And these twins turned out
exceptionally well, when you consider their mother was
so difficult to work with."

"She was difficult?" asked Mrs. Smith.

"Yes, I'm afraid so. I finally had to take her to the
park to get the job done right. People were crowding
around four and five deep, pushing to get a good

"Four and five deep?" asked Mrs. Smith, eyes widened
in amazement. "Yes", the photographer said. "And for
more than three hours, too. The mother was constantly
squealing and yelling - I could hardly concentrate!
Then darkness approached and I began to rush my shots.

Finally, when the squirrels began nibbling on my
equipment, I just packed it all in."

Mrs. Smith leaned forward. "You mean they actually
chewed on your"

"That's right. Well madam, if you're ready, I'll set
up my tripod so that we can get to work."


Oh yes, I have to use a tripod to rest my Canon on.
t's much too big for me to hold very long. Madam?
Madam?.....Good Lord, she's fainted!!

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Old 7th June 2005, 09:59   #236
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here is something that you might have read somewhere long back

Automobile Acronyms

Accelerates Under Demonic Influence
Always Unsafe Designs Implemented

Beautiful Mechanical Wonder
Big Money Works
Bought My Wife
Brutal Money Waster
Big Ugly Indestructible Car Killer
Can Hear Every Valve Rap On Long Extended Trips
Cheap, Hardly Efficient, Virtually Runs On Luck Every Time
Dolts And Egomaniacs Will Often Own
Dealers and Individuals Have Awful Time Servicing, Usually
Darn Old Dirty Gas Eater
Drips Oil, Drops Grease Everywhere
Failure in Italian Automotive Technology
Fix It All the Time
Futile Italian Attempt at Transportation
(backwards) - Driver Returns On Foot
First On Recall Day
First On Rust and Deterioration
Fix Or Repair Daily
Found On Road, Dead
Fault Of R&D
Fast Only Rolling Downhill
General Maintenance
Garage Man's Companion
Gotta Mechanic Coming?
Had One Never Did Again
Hope You Understand Nothing's Driveable And Inexpensive...
Most Always Zipping Dangerously Along
Needs Increasingly Special Spendy Automotive Necessities
Old Ladies Driving Slowly Make Others Behind Infuriatingly Late Everyday.
Overpriced, Leisurely Driven Sedan Made Of Buick's Irregular Leftover Equipment
Send Another Automobile Back
Swedish Automobiles Always Breakdown.
Too Often Yankees Overprice This Auto
Very Odd Looking Vehicular Object
Virtually Worthless

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Old 7th June 2005, 13:12   #237
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AUDI was also - Another Ugly Dutch (or soemthing like that) Invention (i think).
It was something i remember from long back when we had an Audi and my friend went around bragging about it (worked in my favour with the girls).
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Old 8th June 2005, 00:08   #238
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The new Pope Benedict XVI has just finished holidaying
in Florida and is leaving for the airport. After
getting all of Pope Benedict's luggage loaded into the
limo, (and he doesn't travel light), the driver
notices that the Pope is still standing on the curb.

"Excuse me, Your Holiness," says the driver, "Would
you please take your seat so we can leave?"

"Well, to tell you the truth," says the Pope, "they
never let me drive at the Vatican, and I'd really like
to drive today."

"I'm sorry but I cannot let you do that. I'd lose my
job! And what if something should happen?" protests
the driver, wishing he'd never gone to work that

"There might be something extra in it for you," says
the Pope.

Reluctantly, the driver gets in the back as the Pope
climbs in behind the wheel. The driver quickly regrets
his decision when, after exiting the airport, the
Pontiff floors it, accelerating the limo to 105 mph.

" Please slow down, Your Holiness!!!" pleads the
worried driver, but the Pope keeps the pedal to the
metal until they hear sirens.

"Oh, dear God, I'm gonna lose my license," moans the

The Pope pulls over and rolls down the window as the
cop approaches, but the cop takes one look at him,
goes back to his motorcycle, and gets on the radio.

"I need to talk to the Chief," he says to the

The Chief gets on the radio and the cop tells him that
he's stopped a limo going a hundred and five.

"So bust him," says the Chief.

"I don't think we want to do that, he's really
important," said the cop.

The Chief exclaimed," All the more reason!"

"No, I mean really important," said the cop.

The Chief then asked, "Who ya got there, the Mayor?"

Cop: "Bigger."

Chief: "Governor?

Cop: "Bigger."

"Well," said the Chief, "Who is it?"

Cop: "I think it's God!"

Chief: "What makes you think it's God?"

Cop: "Well for one thing, he's got the Pope as a

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Old 9th June 2005, 00:21   #239
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Dravid's wife : my husband plays long time, but not making powerfull shots,

Shewag wife:my husband makes powerfull shots, but cant play long time.

Ganguly wife: you both are lucky, mines not even lifting the bat.
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Old 10th June 2005, 16:44   #240
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LOl Manna THat waz FAb lol
Anisha Sharma
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