Team-BHP - The Official Joke thread
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-   -   The Official Joke thread (https://www.team-bhp.com/forum/et-cetera/2439-official-joke-thread-622.html)

Quote:

Originally Posted by poised2drive (Post 3887534)
Oh ! Hyderabadis aren't as intelligent as you think ...
We are as much fools as our other cities' brethren who are just pulled towards the BRAND image :deadhorse

I have lived 15+ years in hyderabad (including all my college / PG).

I would like to think I am intelligent, please don't dent my image of myself and hyderabad both in one shot :)

By the way this ad is the very best Hyderabadi joke I've ever seen.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mh1di9pIYLs

Quote:

Originally Posted by hserus (Post 3887933)
I have lived 15+ years in hyderabad (including all my college / PG).

I would like to think I am intelligent, please don't dent my image of myself and hyderabad both in one shot :)

LOL

Some truths are hard to digest ! :uncontrol
Hyderabad has changed ! The queue in front of all Those Glittering Chains on a normal day speak for themselves :D

Not sure if this should go in the jokes section or the reviews section, but anyways, a real incident that happend few weeks ago.

I had given my car for washing at an MASS which is not my usual one, but I had some free wash offer from them.

The day after the job was done I received a call from the MASS and the lady at other end wanted my feedback.

Lady - Sir, you had given car number VXYZ for some work at our service center.
Me - Yes but number is WXYZ.
Lady - Oh sorry, ok can you please give us your feedback on a scale of 1 to 10 with 1 to 9 being Not Satisfied and 10 being satisfied.
Me - :eek:. 1

Lady tries to understand the reason, I said I give 10 only for a perfect job, which was not the case and since 1 to 9 is same in your book I give 1.

Here is a video showing how Triumph bikes are made.
http://vid.carbuzz.com/the-fact-that...s-magnificent/

https://youtu.be/fPeyhiD7KYw

I seem to remember a "most annoying/useless mods" thread, but cant seem to locate it. This is one of the most pointless catalogues i have seen.

No matter. These are a joke as well, from one of the email campaigns from and auto accessory seller:


For your very delicate nuts. Lug nuts.
The Official Joke thread-lugnuts.jpg


I horn a lot during drives.
The Official Joke thread-dsc_0891_copy_edited.jpg

Lashes for your car. Lashes for you if there are lashes on your car
The Official Joke thread-lashes.jpg

And finally, a darwinian control for a nation bursting. Care to hazard a guess what it does?
The Official Joke thread-belt-foil.jpg

There used to be a whole site devoted to joke spares/accessories, especially featuring the 710 cap. (Do you know where to find the 710 cap for your car? ;) ). Can no longer find. Anybody know if it is still up?

EDIT: Oh, silly, dyslexic me! I googled 701 instead of 710! Here it is. KaleCoAuto.com


What CAUSE are you running for?

Anil is running beCAUSE – Mukesh is running ahead...
Mukesh is running beCAUSE – Airtel, Voda and Idea have run ahead…
Airtel, Voda and Idea are running beCAUSE – TRAI is after them (for call drops)...
TCS is running beCAUSE – Infosys has surged ahead…
Infosys is running beCAUSE – US has raised H1B visa fees...
The bulls (of Dalal St) are running beCAUSE – Chinese dragon flu is catching on...
The Chinese market is running (downhill) beCAUSE – asset valuation bubbles always burst...
Jaya is running (from pillar to post) beCAUSE – SC has refused to allow Jallikattu...
Mulund residents are running beCAUSE – leopards from SGNP are chasing them…
Shashi is running beCAUSE – FBI found lidocaine running in Sunanda’s blood…
Lalit is running beCAUSE – Dawood is after him...
Raghuram Rajan is running (after PSU banks) beCAUSE – NPAs are rising...
Hillary is running beCAUSE – Trump shouldn’t stump American values...
Indian cricket team is running beCAUSE – Aussies chase so well and Melbourne shouldn’t be like Perth or Brisbane...
Delhi-ites are running beCAUSE – they don’t know when odd-even will strike again…
VW is running beCAUSE – the defeat device is no longer running in Clean Diesel engines...
Ramdev is running beCAUSE – Mysore lab has found no lead in Maggi...
Venkatraman Ramakrishnan is running beCAUSE – he feels that Indian Science Congress is a circus...
Indian scientists and engineers are running beCAUSE – crossing the sea link is the only way to immigrate to the U.S...

According to a report from the National Science Foundation's National Center for Science and Engineering Statistics (NCSES), U.S.A., 63% of U.S. immigrant scientists and engineers have become citizens, while 22% became permanent residents (Green Card holders) and 15% were temporary visa (H1B visa) holders.

Immigrants play an increasing role in U.S. science and engineering workforce. Of the immigrant scientists and engineers in the United States, 57% were born in Asia. Among Asian countries, India was the top country of birth for immigrant scientists and engineers with 32% (950,000 out of Asia's total 2.96 million). India's latest figure represented an 85% increase from 2003.

We've heard of high mounted stop lights, but this high?!

Quote:

Originally Posted by GeeTee TSI (Post 3892238)
We've heard of high mounted stop lights, but this high?!

It's been a long time since I drove in UK, but, if I remember rightly, yes: trucks, coaches etc have rear lights high up as well as low down. But I think their are sidelights rather than stop lights.

Trust the authorities to not know the updated language! :D

Quote:

Originally Posted by 1self (Post 3893785)
Trust the authorities to not know the updated language! :D

this is a campaign by Red FM; we have these hoardings in Bangalore too.

^ And in Bombay too! :D

What is the fav song of the accountant?
.
Cheque book cheque book raile.

Quote:

Originally Posted by 1self (Post 3893785)
Trust the authorities to not know the updated language! :D

I think they know the language very well, and are using the pun to grab attention. Isn't it a long-established mountain-road tradition, stuff like "be gentle on my curves..."?

Quote:

Originally Posted by GeeTee TSI (Post 3892238)
We've heard of high mounted stop lights, but this high?!

That's way too high !.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Thad E Ginathom (Post 3892431)
But I think their are sidelights rather than stop lights.

But they sure stopped me in my track ...


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