The Official Joke thread

hserus · 10th January 2016, 19:20

Quote:

Originally Posted by poised2drive

Oh ! Hyderabadis aren't as intelligent as you think ...
We are as much fools as our other cities' brethren who are just pulled towards the BRAND image

I have lived 15+ years in hyderabad (including all my college / PG).

I would like to think I am intelligent, please don't dent my image of myself and hyderabad both in one shot

By the way this ad is the very best Hyderabadi joke I've ever seen.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mh1di9pIYLs

poised2drive · 10th January 2016, 22:08

Quote:

Originally Posted by hserus

I have lived 15+ years in hyderabad (including all my college / PG).

I would like to think I am intelligent, please don't dent my image of myself and hyderabad both in one shot

LOL

Some truths are hard to digest !

Hyderabad has changed ! The queue in front of all Those Glittering Chains on a normal day speak for themselves

Lij · 11th January 2016, 16:22

Not sure if this should go in the jokes section or the reviews section, but anyways, a real incident that happend few weeks ago.

I had given my car for washing at an MASS which is not my usual one, but I had some free wash offer from them.

The day after the job was done I received a call from the MASS and the lady at other end wanted my feedback.

Lady - Sir, you had given car number VXYZ for some work at our service center.
Me - Yes but number is WXYZ.
Lady - Oh sorry, ok can you please give us your feedback on a scale of 1 to 10 with 1 to 9 being Not Satisfied and 10 being satisfied.
Me -

. 1

Lady tries to understand the reason, I said I give 10 only for a perfect job, which was not the case and since 1 to 9 is same in your book I give 1.

Bh.P · 12th January 2016, 11:18

Here is a video showing how Triumph bikes are made.
http://vid.carbuzz.com/the-fact-that...s-magnificent/

https://youtu.be/fPeyhiD7KYw

mayankk · 14th January 2016, 16:24

I seem to remember a "most annoying/useless mods" thread, but cant seem to locate it. This is one of the most pointless catalogues i have seen.

No matter. These are a joke as well, from one of the email campaigns from and auto accessory seller:

For your very delicate nuts. Lug nuts.

I horn a lot during drives.

The Official Joke thread-dsc_0891_copy_edited.jpg

Lashes for your car. Lashes for you if there are lashes on your car

And finally, a darwinian control for a nation bursting. Care to hazard a guess what it does?

Thad E Ginathom · 15th January 2016, 12:21

There used to be a whole site devoted to joke spares/accessories, especially featuring the 710 cap. (Do you know where to find the 710 cap for your car?

). Can no longer find. Anybody know if it is still up?

EDIT: Oh, silly, dyslexic me! I googled 701 instead of 710! Here it is. KaleCoAuto.com

msprabhakar · 16th January 2016, 22:37

What CAUSE are you running for?

Anil is running beCAUSE – Mukesh is running ahead...
Mukesh is running beCAUSE – Airtel, Voda and Idea have run ahead…
Airtel, Voda and Idea are running beCAUSE – TRAI is after them (for call drops)...
TCS is running beCAUSE – Infosys has surged ahead…
Infosys is running beCAUSE – US has raised H1B visa fees...
The bulls (of Dalal St) are running beCAUSE – Chinese dragon flu is catching on...
The Chinese market is running (downhill) beCAUSE – asset valuation bubbles always burst...
Jaya is running (from pillar to post) beCAUSE – SC has refused to allow Jallikattu...
Mulund residents are running beCAUSE – leopards from SGNP are chasing them…
Shashi is running beCAUSE – FBI found lidocaine running in Sunanda’s blood…
Lalit is running beCAUSE – Dawood is after him...
Raghuram Rajan is running (after PSU banks) beCAUSE – NPAs are rising...
Hillary is running beCAUSE – Trump shouldn’t stump American values...
Indian cricket team is running beCAUSE – Aussies chase so well and Melbourne shouldn’t be like Perth or Brisbane...
Delhi-ites are running beCAUSE – they don’t know when odd-even will strike again…
VW is running beCAUSE – the defeat device is no longer running in Clean Diesel engines...
Ramdev is running beCAUSE – Mysore lab has found no lead in Maggi...
Venkatraman Ramakrishnan is running beCAUSE – he feels that Indian Science Congress is a circus...
Indian scientists and engineers are running beCAUSE – crossing the sea link is the only way to immigrate to the U.S...

According to a report from the National Science Foundation's National Center for Science and Engineering Statistics (NCSES), U.S.A., 63% of U.S. immigrant scientists and engineers have become citizens, while 22% became permanent residents (Green Card holders) and 15% were temporary visa (H1B visa) holders.

Immigrants play an increasing role in U.S. science and engineering workforce. Of the immigrant scientists and engineers in the United States, 57% were born in Asia. Among Asian countries, India was the top country of birth for immigrant scientists and engineers with 32% (950,000 out of Asia's total 2.96 million). India's latest figure represented an 85% increase from 2003.

GeeTee TSI · 17th January 2016, 07:15

We've heard of high mounted stop lights, but this high?!

Thad E Ginathom · 17th January 2016, 16:29

Quote:

Originally Posted by GeeTee TSI

We've heard of high mounted stop lights, but this high?!

It's been a long time since I drove in UK, but, if I remember rightly, yes: trucks, coaches etc have rear lights high up as well as low down. But I think their are sidelights rather than stop lights.

1self · 19th January 2016, 13:46

Trust the authorities to not know the updated language!

IronH4WK · 19th January 2016, 13:56

Quote:

Originally Posted by 1self

Trust the authorities to not know the updated language!

this is a campaign by Red FM; we have these hoardings in Bangalore too.

FINTAIL · 19th January 2016, 18:53

^ And in Bombay too!

smsrini · 19th January 2016, 19:24

What is the fav song of the accountant?
.
Cheque book cheque book raile.

Thad E Ginathom · 20th January 2016, 00:30

Quote:

Originally Posted by 1self

Trust the authorities to not know the updated language!

I think they know the language very well, and are using the pun to grab attention. Isn't it a long-established mountain-road tradition, stuff like "be gentle on my curves..."?

condor · 20th January 2016, 07:30

Quote:

Originally Posted by GeeTee TSI

We've heard of high mounted stop lights, but this high?!

That's way too high !.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Thad E Ginathom

But I think their are sidelights rather than stop lights.

But they sure stopped me in my track ...

11th January 2016, 16:22	#9318
Lij BHPian Join Date: Nov 2013 Location: Mumbai Posts: 229 Thanked: 272 Times	Re: The Official Joke thread Not sure if this should go in the jokes section or the reviews section, but anyways, a real incident that happend few weeks ago. I had given my car for washing at an MASS which is not my usual one, but I had some free wash offer from them. The day after the job was done I received a call from the MASS and the lady at other end wanted my feedback. Lady - Sir, you had given car number VXYZ for some work at our service center. Me - Yes but number is WXYZ. Lady - Oh sorry, ok can you please give us your feedback on a scale of 1 to 10 with 1 to 9 being Not Satisfied and 10 being satisfied. Me - . 1 Lady tries to understand the reason, I said I give 10 only for a perfect job, which was not the case and since 1 to 9 is same in your book I give 1.

14th January 2016, 16:24	#9320
mayankk Distinguished - BHPian Join Date: Apr 2010 Location: New Delhi Posts: 5,234 Thanked: 8,615 Times View My Garage	Re: The Official Joke thread I seem to remember a "most annoying/useless mods" thread, but cant seem to locate it. This is one of the most pointless catalogues i have seen. No matter. These are a joke as well, from one of the email campaigns from and auto accessory seller: For your very delicate nuts. Lug nuts. I horn a lot during drives. Lashes for your car. Lashes for you if there are lashes on your car And finally, a darwinian control for a nation bursting. Care to hazard a guess what it does?

15th January 2016, 12:21	#9321
Thad E Ginathom Distinguished - BHPian Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Chennai Posts: 11,442 Thanked: 30,015 Times	Re: The Official Joke thread There used to be a whole site devoted to joke spares/accessories, especially featuring the 710 cap. (Do you know where to find the 710 cap for your car? ). Can no longer find. Anybody know if it is still up? EDIT: Oh, silly, dyslexic me! I googled 701 instead of 710! Here it is. KaleCoAuto.com Last edited by Thad E Ginathom : 15th January 2016 at 12:24.

16th January 2016, 22:37	#9322
msprabhakar BHPian Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: Mumbai Posts: 265 Thanked: 89 Times	Re: The Official Joke thread *What CAUSE are you running for?* Anil is running beCAUSE – Mukesh is running ahead... Mukesh is running beCAUSE – Airtel, Voda and Idea have run ahead… Airtel, Voda and Idea are running beCAUSE – TRAI is after them (for call drops)... TCS is running beCAUSE – Infosys has surged ahead… Infosys is running beCAUSE – US has raised H1B visa fees... The bulls (of Dalal St) are running beCAUSE – Chinese dragon flu is catching on... The Chinese market is running (downhill) beCAUSE – asset valuation bubbles always burst... Jaya is running (from pillar to post) beCAUSE – SC has refused to allow Jallikattu... Mulund residents are running beCAUSE – leopards from SGNP are chasing them… Shashi is running beCAUSE – FBI found lidocaine running in Sunanda’s blood… Lalit is running beCAUSE – Dawood is after him... Raghuram Rajan is running (after PSU banks) beCAUSE – NPAs are rising... Hillary is running beCAUSE – Trump shouldn’t stump American values... Indian cricket team is running beCAUSE – Aussies chase so well and Melbourne shouldn’t be like Perth or Brisbane... Delhi-ites are running beCAUSE – they don’t know when odd-even will strike again… VW is running beCAUSE – the defeat device is no longer running in Clean Diesel engines... Ramdev is running beCAUSE – Mysore lab has found no lead in Maggi... Venkatraman Ramakrishnan is running beCAUSE – he feels that Indian Science Congress is a circus... Indian scientists and engineers are running beCAUSE – crossing the sea link is the only way to immigrate to the U.S... According to a report from the National Science Foundation's National Center for Science and Engineering Statistics (NCSES), U.S.A., 63% of U.S. immigrant scientists and engineers have become citizens, while 22% became permanent residents (Green Card holders) and 15% were temporary visa (H1B visa) holders. Immigrants play an increasing role in U.S. science and engineering workforce. Of the immigrant scientists and engineers in the United States, 57% were born in Asia. Among Asian countries, India was the top country of birth for immigrant scientists and engineers with 32% (950,000 out of Asia's total 2.96 million). India's latest figure represented an 85% increase from 2003.

17th January 2016, 07:15	#9323
GeeTee TSI Senior - BHPian Join Date: Jun 2015 Location: KA01 Posts: 1,475 Thanked: 3,342 Times View My Garage	Re: The Official Joke thread We've heard of high mounted stop lights, but this high?! Attached Thumbnails

19th January 2016, 13:46	#9325
1self BHPian Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: Pune Posts: 629 Thanked: 335 Times View My Garage	Re: The Official Joke thread Trust the authorities to not know the updated language! Attached Thumbnails

19th January 2016, 18:53	#9327
FINTAIL Senior - BHPian Join Date: Oct 2013 Location: San Jose, CA Posts: 1,233 Thanked: 1,245 Times	Re: The Official Joke thread ^ And in Bombay too!

19th January 2016, 19:24	#9328
smsrini Senior - BHPian Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: Bangalore Posts: 1,128 Thanked: 442 Times View My Garage	What is the fav song of the accountant? . Cheque book cheque book raile.