The Official Joke thread

v1p3r · 25th May 2007, 22:39

Would be really easy to buy a blue car then. I like the blue cars.

heelntoe · 27th May 2007, 01:11

heh, i think those pics are from worth1000.com
there are other such pics there.

v1p3r · 27th May 2007, 04:16

Look at this. Click the thumbnail to see a larger version, and then look at the part I've circled.

How the hell do you save 150% on anything? Isn't that like them paying you to take the book?

Rehaan · 27th May 2007, 10:29

Quote:

Originally Posted by v1p3r

How the hell do you save 150% on anything? Isn't that like them paying you to take the book?

Happens all the time in america

Eg. buy cellphone for $1 and get $100 rebate
(but ofcourse u have to sign a 2year provider contract)

cya
R

arif_t01 · 27th May 2007, 10:44

Quote:

Originally Posted by v1p3r

How the hell do you save 150% on anything? Isn't that like them paying you to take the book?

First you increase the price by 3 fold, so that makes it 300% and then you give 150% discount (of original price) and voila, you get 50% more

theMAG · 27th May 2007, 10:51

Shaadi ke pehle - Agar Tum Na Hote:(
Shaadi ke baad - Agar Tum Na Hote

Shaadi ke pehle - Maine Pyar Kiya
Shaadi ke baad - Ye Maine Kya Kiya?

Shaadi ke pehle - Kuch Kuch Hota Hai
Shaadi ke baad - Kuch Nahi Hota Hai

Shaadi ke pehle - Dil To Pagal Hai
Shaadi ke baad - Dil To Pagal Tha

Shaadi ke pehle - Ek Duje Ke Liye
Shaadi ke baad - Sirf Bachcho Ke Liye

Shaadi ke pehle - Dilwale Dulhaniya Le Jayenge
Shaadi ke baad - Baaki Log Sukhi Ho Jayenge

Shaadi ke pehle - Chandramukhi
Shaadi ke baad - Jwaalamukhi

Shaadi ke pehle - Kuwara Baap
Shaadi ke baad - Bechara Baap

Shaadi ke pehle - Titanic
Shaadi ke baad - Mortgage

Shaadi ke pehle - Hum Aapke Hai Koun?
Shaadi ke baad - Barbadi Ka Kaaran

Shaadi ke pehle - Mere Sapno Ki Rani
Shaadi ke baad - Chutki Ki Amma

Shaadi ke pehle - Kabhi Kabhi
Shaadi ke baad - If you are lucky

Shaadi ke pehle - Aao Pyar Karen
Shaadi ke baad - Aur Bhi Kuch Kaam Karen?

condor · 30th May 2007, 07:32

toiingg · 30th May 2007, 08:48

Good one condor !!

ns_jughead · 30th May 2007, 11:21

@Viper-ive gone to that site.they give u a 35% discount plus a gift coupon of Rs 600 which you can use to buy books from their site.

elf · 30th May 2007, 14:04

Two same gender male lovers were walking through a zoo.

They came across a gorilla enclosure and noticed that the male gorilla had a massive erection. The men were fascinated by this. One of the men just couldn't bear it any longer, and reached into the cage to touch it.

The gorilla grabbed him, dragged him into the enclosure and mated with him for six hours, nonstop, while the zoo attendants helplessly stood by....
When he was done, the gorilla threw the man out of the cage.
An ambulance was called and the man was taken away to the hospital.

A few days later, his friend visited him in the hospital and asked, "Are you hurt?"

"AM I HURT?" he shouted, "Wouldn't you be?

He hasn't called... he hasn't written..."

suren181 · 30th May 2007, 14:06

ROFLMAO ... that was hilarious ELF

vivekiny2k · 30th May 2007, 14:24

funny, first response.

Real Men Don't Cry

rsjaurr · 31st May 2007, 20:20

got this one in email....

A salesman to a farmer when he looks over and sees a rooster wearing pants, a shirt, and suspenders.
"What on earth is that all about?"
The farmer says, "We had a fire in the chicken coop two months ago and all his feathers got singed off, so the wife made him some clothes to keep him warm."
"but that was two months ago. Why does he still wear them?"
The farmer replied, "There ain't nothing funnier than watching him try to hold down a hen with one foot and get his pants down with the other."

moralfibre · 1st June 2007, 09:37

Common lines after people get drunk...
1. Tu Mera bhai hai...
2. Gaadi mai Chalunga...
3. Abe abhi itni Aur Andar ja sakti hai...
4. Tu bura mat manana bhai...
5. Mai teri Dil Se Izzat Karta hu...
6. Aaj Chad nahi rahi hai kya bat hai...
7. Tu Kya samajh raha hai mujhe chad gayi hai...
8. Ye mat samajh ki piye me bol raha hu...
9. Abe yaar kam to nahi padegi
10. Chhote, Ek Ek Chhota aur ho Jae...
11. Baap ko mat Sikha.
12. Yaar magar Dil dukha diya yaar...
13. Kuchh bhi hai par Bhai hai Apna...
14. Tu Bolna Bhai, kya chahiye...Jaan chahiye hazir hai ???

Mr.Bangalore · 1st June 2007, 15:48

A team of young budding Managers were given an assignment to measure the height of a flagpole.
So the Managers discussed and put up a project plan with roles and responsibilities.

The Manager who was responsible for organizing the resources went out and got a ladder and a tape.

The tape measure was just the ordinary tape of 6 feet.
The lead manager assigned another manager to go on top of the pole and start the measure.

They were falling off the ladders, dropping the tape measures - the whole thing was just a mess.

An Engineer came along and saw what they' were trying to do. He walked over pulled the

Flagpole out of the ground, laid it flat, measured it from end to end, gave the measurement to

one of the managers and walked away.
After the Engineer went away, one manager turns head to another and laughs.
"Isn't that just like an engineer? We're looking for height and he gives the length"

Moral: No matter how good an engineer you are, Manager always finds fault in you.

27th May 2007, 10:51	#1956
theMAG Distinguished - BHPian Join Date: May 2006 Location: Avon, CT Posts: 7,217 Thanked: 1,807 Times View My Garage	Shaadi Shayari - Shaadi ke pehle, shaadi ke baad Shaadi ke pehle - Agar Tum Na Hote:( Shaadi ke baad - Agar Tum Na Hote Shaadi ke pehle - Maine Pyar Kiya Shaadi ke baad - Ye Maine Kya Kiya? Shaadi ke pehle - Kuch Kuch Hota Hai Shaadi ke baad - Kuch Nahi Hota Hai Shaadi ke pehle - Dil To Pagal Hai Shaadi ke baad - Dil To Pagal Tha Shaadi ke pehle - Ek Duje Ke Liye Shaadi ke baad - Sirf Bachcho Ke Liye Shaadi ke pehle - Dilwale Dulhaniya Le Jayenge Shaadi ke baad - Baaki Log Sukhi Ho Jayenge Shaadi ke pehle - Chandramukhi Shaadi ke baad - Jwaalamukhi Shaadi ke pehle - Kuwara Baap Shaadi ke baad - Bechara Baap Shaadi ke pehle - Titanic Shaadi ke baad - Mortgage Shaadi ke pehle - Hum Aapke Hai Koun? Shaadi ke baad - Barbadi Ka Kaaran Shaadi ke pehle - Mere Sapno Ki Rani Shaadi ke baad - Chutki Ki Amma Shaadi ke pehle - Kabhi Kabhi Shaadi ke baad - If you are lucky Shaadi ke pehle - Aao Pyar Karen Shaadi ke baad - Aur Bhi Kuch Kaam Karen?

30th May 2007, 07:32	#1957
condor Distinguished - BHPian Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: Speed-brkr City Posts: 15,864 Thanked: 16,008 Times View My Garage	Global Warming

25th May 2007, 22:39	#1951
v1p3r Senior - BHPian Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: BLR / DXB / LON Posts: 5,334 Thanked: 6,896 Times View My Garage	Would be really easy to buy a blue car then. I like the blue cars.

27th May 2007, 01:11	#1952
heelntoe BHPian Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: navi mumbai Posts: 240 Thanked: Once	heh, i think those pics are from worth1000.com there are other such pics there.

27th May 2007, 04:16	#1953
v1p3r Senior - BHPian Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: BLR / DXB / LON Posts: 5,334 Thanked: 6,896 Times View My Garage	Look at this. Click the thumbnail to see a larger version, and then look at the part I've circled. How the hell do you save 150% on anything? Isn't that like them paying you to take the book?

30th May 2007, 08:48	#1958
toiingg BHPian Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: Calcutta Posts: 639 Thanked: 266 Times	Good one condor !!

30th May 2007, 11:21	#1959
ns_jughead Newbie Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: New Delhi Posts: 7 Thanked: 0 Times	@Viper-ive gone to that site.they give u a 35% discount plus a gift coupon of Rs 600 which you can use to buy books from their site.

30th May 2007, 14:04	#1960
elf BANNED Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Bombay Posts: 1,039 Thanked: 13 Times View My Garage	Two same gender male lovers were walking through a zoo. They came across a gorilla enclosure and noticed that the male gorilla had a massive erection. The men were fascinated by this. One of the men just couldn't bear it any longer, and reached into the cage to touch it. The gorilla grabbed him, dragged him into the enclosure and mated with him for six hours, nonstop, while the zoo attendants helplessly stood by.... When he was done, the gorilla threw the man out of the cage. An ambulance was called and the man was taken away to the hospital. A few days later, his friend visited him in the hospital and asked, "Are you hurt?" "AM I HURT?" he shouted, "Wouldn't you be? He hasn't called... he hasn't written..."

30th May 2007, 14:06	#1961
suren181 BHPian Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: Hyderabad Posts: 850 Thanked: 11 Times View My Garage	ROFLMAO ... that was hilarious ELF

30th May 2007, 14:24	#1962
vivekiny2k Senior - BHPian Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: cincinnati, jabalpur,chennai Posts: 1,264 Thanked: 209 Times View My Garage	funny, first response. Real Men Don't Cry

31st May 2007, 20:20	#1963
rsjaurr BHPian Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: Batala Posts: 777 Thanked: 28 Times	got this one in email.... A salesman to a farmer when he looks over and sees a rooster wearing pants, a shirt, and suspenders. "What on earth is that all about?" The farmer says, "We had a fire in the chicken coop two months ago and all his feathers got singed off, so the wife made him some clothes to keep him warm." "but that was two months ago. Why does he still wear them?" The farmer replied, "There ain't nothing funnier than watching him try to hold down a hen with one foot and get his pants down with the other."

1st June 2007, 09:37	#1964
moralfibre Team-BHP Support Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: MH-12 Posts: 8,443 Thanked: 13,956 Times	Common lines after people get drunk... 1. Tu Mera bhai hai... 2. Gaadi mai Chalunga... 3. Abe abhi itni Aur Andar ja sakti hai... 4. Tu bura mat manana bhai... 5. Mai teri Dil Se Izzat Karta hu... 6. Aaj Chad nahi rahi hai kya bat hai... 7. Tu Kya samajh raha hai mujhe chad gayi hai... 8. Ye mat samajh ki piye me bol raha hu... 9. Abe yaar kam to nahi padegi 10. Chhote, Ek Ek Chhota aur ho Jae... 11. Baap ko mat Sikha. 12. Yaar magar Dil dukha diya yaar... 13. Kuchh bhi hai par Bhai hai Apna... 14. Tu Bolna Bhai, kya chahiye...Jaan chahiye hazir hai ???

1st June 2007, 15:48	#1965
Mr.Bangalore BHPian Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Bengalooru Posts: 368 Thanked: 55 Times View My Garage	A team of young budding Managers were given an assignment to measure the height of a flagpole. So the Managers discussed and put up a project plan with roles and responsibilities. The Manager who was responsible for organizing the resources went out and got a ladder and a tape. The tape measure was just the ordinary tape of 6 feet. The lead manager assigned another manager to go on top of the pole and start the measure. They were falling off the ladders, dropping the tape measures - the whole thing was just a mess. An Engineer came along and saw what they' were trying to do. He walked over pulled the Flagpole out of the ground, laid it flat, measured it from end to end, gave the measurement to one of the managers and walked away. After the Engineer went away, one manager turns head to another and laughs. "Isn't that just like an engineer? We're looking for height and he gives the length" Moral: No matter how good an engineer you are, Manager always finds fault in you.