[esteem_lover]

he he he...loved the chinese fooood. LOL

[sreenivass]

W.r. t the chinese one, have you guys watched Gold member movie.

[saketnagpal]

25 REASONS WHY ALCOHOL SHOULD BE SERVED AT WORK...

1. It's an incentive to show up.
2. It reduces stress.
3. It leads to more honest communications.
4. It reduces complaints about low pay.
5. It cuts down on time off because you have the hangover after work instead of before.
6. Employees tell management what they think, not what management wants to
hear.
7. It helps save on heating costs in the winter.
8. It encourages carpooling.
9. Increase job satisfaction because if you have a bad job, you don't care.
10. It eliminates vacations because people would rather come to work.
11. It makes fellow employees look better.
12. It makes the cafeteria food taste better.
13. Bosses are more likely to hand out raises when they are wasted.
14. Salary negotiations are a lot more profitable.
15. Suddenly, burping during a meeting isn't so embarrassing.
16. Employees work later since there's no longer a need to relax at the bar.
17. It makes everyone more open with their ideas.
18. Everyone agrees they work better after they've had a couple of drinks.
19. Eliminates the need for employees to get drunk on their lunch break.
20. Increases the chance of seeing your boss naked. (depending of course on
the boss).
21. It promotes foreign relations with the former Soviet Union.
22. The janitor's closet will finally have a use.
23. Employees no longer need coffee to sober up.
24. Sitting on the copy machine will no longer be seen as "gross."
25. Babbling and mumbling incoherently will be common language. >>

[condor]

The blonde reports for her university final exam which consists of "true/false" type questions. She takes her seat in the examination hall, stares at the question paper for five minutes, and then in a fit of inspiration takes her purse out, removes a coin and starts tossing the coin and marking the answer sheet: heads for true and tails for false. Within thirty minutes she is all done, whereas the rest of the class is still working furiously. During the last few minutes, she is seen desperately throwing the coin, swearing and sweating.

The moderator, alarmed, approaches her and askes what is going on. "I finished the exam in a half hour," she says. "Now I'm rechecking my answers."

[saketnagpal]

One day, a Chinese walked into a bar in America late one night and he saw Steven Spielberg. As he was a great fan of his movies, he rushed over to him, and asked
for his autograph. Instead, Spielberg gave him a slap and said, "You Chinese people bombed our Pearl Harbor, get outta here".

The astonished Chinese man replied, "It was not the Chinese who bombed your Pearl Harbor, it was the Japanese". "Chinese, Japanese, Taiwanese, you're all the same,"
replied Spielberg. In return, the Chinese gave Spielberg a slap and said, "You sank the Titanic, my forefathers were on that ship".

Shocked, Spielberg replied, "It was the iceberg that sank the Ship, not me".

The Chinese replied, "Iceberg, Spielberg, Carlsberg, you're all the same".

[saketnagpal]

Santa returns book to library, bangs it on table & says - What a
**** ?
"I

read the whole book, too many character, no story at all" ?.

Librarian : So, you are the one who took the Telephone Directory....

[saketnagpal]

A different Love letter and a beautiful reply to it.
************************************************** ****
Love Letter
***********
A teenage college guy sent a love letter (in Q/A format) to his classmate.
My Dearest Reshma, Please answer the following questionnaire.
For Options (a) 10 marks, (b) 5marks and (c) 3 marks.

1) Whenever you enter the class room, your sight always falls on me
because:
(a) of love
(b) you couldn't control seeing me
(c) really ... am I doing it?
2) Whenever professor cracks joke, you laugh and turnand look at me
because:
(a) you always like to see me smiling
(b) you are testing whether I like jokes
(c) you are attracted by my smile
3) When you were singing in the class, I entered and immediately you stopped singing
because:
(a) you are so coy to sing before me
(b) my presence influenced you
(c) you feared that whether I'll like your song
4) When you were showing your child photo, when I asked for it, you hide it
because:
(a) you felt ashamed
(b) you felt uneasy
(c) you don't know
5) During trekking, myself and my friend gave you hand for lifting you and you took only my friend's
because:
(a) you enjoyed my disappointment
(b) you won't feel leaving my hand after grabbing
(c) you don't know
6) You were waiting yesterday for bus and didn't get into your bus...
(a) you were waiting for me
(b) you were dreaming about me and didn't notice the bus
(c) that bus was crowded
7) You introduced me to your parents when they came to college
because:
(a) I am going to be your groom
(b) you just want to know what your parents think about me
(c) just you felt like introducing me to them
8) I told that I like girls wearing roses. Next day, you came with a rose on your head
because:
(a) to fulfill my wish
(b) you like roses
(c) by chance you got a rose
9) On that day, it was my birthday. you too came to temple early at 6:00 AM
because:
(a) you want to pray along with me
(b) you want to meet me before any one could meet on my birthday
(c) you want to wish me at temple because you are spiritual
If you have scored more than 40, then you are loving me. Don't delay in expressing it.
If you have scored between 30 and 40, love is budding in your heart and it's getting ready to bloom.
If you have scored less than 30, you are in confusion whether to love me or not.

Eagerly awaiting your reply..

love,
Aakash

[saketnagpal]

Reply
*****
Reshma's reply letter was also in Q/A format........ Aakash,
Please answer the following Yes/No questionnaire.
1) If somebody sits in the first row, normally people entering the class, sees them.
(a) Yes
(b) No
2) If a girl laughs and looks anyone, is it love?
(a) Yes
(b) No
3) While singing, if somebody forgets lines of the songs, will he/she stop singing or not?
(a) Yes
(b) No
4) I was showing to my friends (who are all girls) my childhood photo. You poked your nose inside..... Right
(a) Yes
(b) No
5) I avoided holding your hand during trekking. Couldn't you understand yet?
(a) Yes
(b) No
6) Should I not wait for my best friend (Anjali) at the bus stand?
(a) Yes
(b) No
7) Shouldn't I introduce you to my parents as a friend?
(a) Yes
(b) No
8) You have said you also like Lotus, cauliflower, banana's flower. Is it true ?
(a) Yes
(b) No
9) Oh was that your birthday. That's why I could see you in temple. I come daily to Temple. Do you know?
(a) Yes
(b) No
If you have answered "Yes" to any of the question, then I do not love you.
If you have answered "No", then you don't know the meaning of Love.
Hope everything is clear to you.

[benbsb29]

Some Gyan..
At a training program for top management.

A well-known motivational speaker gathering the entire crowd's attention, said,
"The best years of my life were spent in the arms of a woman who wasn't my wife !"
The crowd was shocked!
He followed up by saying, "That woman was my mother!"

The crowd burst into laughter and he gave his speech, which was well received.
About a week later, one of the top managers who had the training decided to use that joke at his house. He tried to rehearse the joke in his head. It was a bit foggy to him.
He said loudly, "The greatest years of my life were spent in the arms of a woman who was not my wife!"

Naturally, his wife was shell shocked, murmuring.
After standing there for almost 10 seconds trying to recall the second half of the joke, the manager finally blurted out "... and I can't remember who she was !"
As expected, he got thrashing of his life time?

Moral of the story : Don't copy if you can't paste

[theMAG]

Ben, I see that you've posted a personal story. Just to clarify - of the guy who couldnt paste.

[benbsb29]

Well, Maggie in that case, it would read as :

"Based on a True story"

Since it doesnt carry that tag, we can safely assume it aint from my quota of experiences. Hehe..

[CrAzY dRiVeR]

Originally Posted by benbsb29

Some Gyan..
At a training program for top management.
A well-known motivational speaker gathering the entire crowd's attention, said,
"The best years of my life were spent in the arms of a woman who wasn't my wife !"
The crowd was shocked!
He followed up by saying, "That woman was my mother!"
The crowd burst into laughter and he gave his speech, which was well received.
About a week later, one of the top managers who had the training decided to use that joke at his house. He tried to rehearse the joke in his head. It was a bit foggy to him.
He said loudly, "The greatest years of my life were spent in the arms of a woman who was not my wife!"
Naturally, his wife was shell shocked, murmuring.
After standing there for almost 10 seconds trying to recall the second half of the joke, the manager finally blurted out "... and I can't remember who she was !"
As expected, he got thrashing of his life time?
Moral of the story : Don't copy if you can't paste

I was smiling after reading this when...

Originally Posted by theMAG

Ben, I see that you've posted a personal story. Just to clarify - of the guy who couldnt paste.

[benbsb29]

Looks like you didnt see the clarification which was provided later on.
Irony here is that i actually copied and then pasted that. Hehe..

[CrAzY dRiVeR]

Originally Posted by benbsb29

Looks like you didnt see the clarification which was provided later on.
Irony here is that i actually copied and then pasted that. Hehe..

hey... Dont take it personally.

I read the clarification. But, couldn't help laughing myself out after reading theMAGs reply.

[benbsb29]

Interestingly, so did i , just couldnt help laughing.