The Official Joke thread

abhibh · 6th April 2007, 20:56

really true.. its very confusing with vista

...

But in the end i would suggest WINDOWS XP

Hellraiser · 6th April 2007, 22:13

ok guys am posting this here because i almost fell of from my chair after reading the following stuff in a community ( orkut ) check it out this is what a guy posted...Topic was `0-100 km/hr`

Quote:

9 second at first from my santro, then 8.5, now it's around 8 seconds ..

ofcourse evryone in the community was shocked by this statement and demanded an explanation about how he achieved this so this was his reply..

Quote:

first things first .. remove extra weight from your car .. stepni, tool box, or something like that ... lower the tyre pressure from 30 to 20 .. if you have front wheel drive then lower the tyre pressure of front wheels, if you have rear wheel drive then lower the pressure of rear wheel drive ..after doing these two things drive your car .. you'll notice the change ... and for your information ... the car that i have (santro) is not modded at all .. only two things that i have done to it is ..make it a bit light weight .. and lower the front tyre pressure ..

stock santro is around 1189 Kgs .. but if you try you can make it as light as 1050 ... now calculate the power weight ratio .. i.e ..

1300CC/1050 --- this will be the new power ...

[:d]

P.S - mods i hope this is not innapropriate ,please feel free to delete the post if this is against the rules.

Godfather · 7th April 2007, 06:14

Hmmmm.. I wonder what that guy will do in complete flat tires... maybe 6..

..

Godfather

elf · 7th April 2007, 09:36

He could also throw out more useless things, like, say, the driver.

Godfather · 7th April 2007, 09:47

Quote:

Originally Posted by elf

He could also throw out more useless things, like, say, the driver.

@elf.. There is one more point here

1300CC/1050 --- this will be the new power ...

Which santro comes with a 1.3L engine??

Godfather

moralfibre · 7th April 2007, 09:52

Quote:

Originally Posted by Godfather

@elf.. There is one more point here

1300CC/1050 --- this will be the new power ...

Which santro comes with a 1.3L engine??

And which one weighs 1050 kgs?? LOL this guy is hilarious. Ask him to throw off the engine and drive lightest!

theMAG · 7th April 2007, 10:11

Robert: baas, China se Mr. Hu aayee hain.
Ajit: Goli maar do. Hu mar jaane par humor ban ke sab ko hasaayenge.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Scene: Ajeet thouroughly disgusted with Mona daaa..arrling's typing.
Ajeet: Raaberrt, Mona ke dono hathon ko kaat do.
Raabert: Magar kyoon baas ?
Ajeet: Typing to nahi atee, kamsekam shaarthand to seekh legi.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ajeet: Raabert, in kutton ke saamne yeh Compooter laga do aur debugger
starrt kar do.
Raabert: Lekin kyoon, baas?
Ajeet: Saale Checkpoint mein atak jayenge.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ajeet: Raabert, Test Match mein kyaa ho raha hai ?
Raabert: Baas, Vivian Richards chhakke pe chhakka maar raha hai.
Ajeet: Saaleh ko sabak sikhana padega. Lunch break mein usse phone milana.
Raabert: Yes baas.
Ajeet: (on phone, to Richards): Veeveeyun Reechards, tumhari Maa hamare
kabze mein hai .......

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Scene: Ajeet comes to know about the traitor in his gang.
Ajeet: Raabert, ise ShamePain mein daal tho, agar Shame se nahi mara
to Pain se mar jayega.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Ajeet: Rabert! isko eraser se maar do, yeh mar bhi jayega aur mit bhi jayega

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Raabert: Baas! Aaap ko kaun si teen chiz sabse jahyahda pasand hein baas?
Ajeet: Ek Mona, Doosra Sona, aur Tisra, Mona ke saath Sona

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Peter: Baas? Sona kahan hei?
Ajeet: Tum chahe jahan bhi sona, lekin mujhe to Mona darling ke saath sona!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Scene: Ajeet is escaping with his men in a helicopter...
Ajeet: Kuch hee der mein hamara helicopter hindustan ki sarhadon ke pare
door birmingham mein hoga. Wahaan tumhe ek kaale rang ki sioorlett
(cheverlett) nazar aayegi. Wo tumhe signal degee...on..off..on..off
Raabert : baas..hamara signal kya hoga ?
Ajeet : bewkoof...off..on..off..on...

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Raabert: Baas? Is kaa kyaa kare baas?
Ajeet: Rawbert! Is pille ko liquid oxygen me daal do. Liquid ise jeene
nahi dega, aur oxygen ise marne nahi dega.

V-16 · 8th April 2007, 19:01

A man and his nagging wife went to Jerusalem for a holiday where unfortunately, she died.
The undertaker advised that shipping her back to India would cost him $5000 whereas if he buried her in Jerusalem, it would cost only $150/-.
Husband chose to ship her home.
The undertaker was surprised and asked why.
Husband said:''A LONG TIME AGO A MAN DIED AND WAS BURIED HERE AND ON THE THIRD DAY HE ROSE AGAIN. I CAN'T TAKE THAT CHANCE, SORRY''
HAPPY EASTER TO ALL OF YOU!!

Ram · 9th April 2007, 13:22

This actually happened one morning in Ireland.
What must have they been thinking?

Ram

Click on the images for an enlarged one.

Samurai · 9th April 2007, 13:26

Ram, some part of this photo series is known to be photoshopped. This has been around the Internet for long.

tsk1979 · 9th April 2007, 13:40

Its the last pic which is photoshopped.

Rehaan · 10th April 2007, 05:06

Ram,

The thread exists here - http://www.team-bhp.com/forum/shifti...es-itself.html

cya
R

normally_crazy · 10th April 2007, 19:42

Check these WACKY ANSWERS to questions

esteem_lover · 11th April 2007, 12:08

A scene somewhere in bihar.

iraghava · 11th April 2007, 12:10

Quote:

Originally Posted by esteem_lover

A scene somewhere in bihar.

That's a very common scene up North!

7th April 2007, 06:14	#1848
Godfather Senior - BHPian Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Bangalore / Atlanta Posts: 1,387 Thanked: 70 Times View My Garage	Hmmmm.. I wonder what that guy will do in complete flat tires... maybe 6.... Godfather

7th April 2007, 10:11	#1852
theMAG Distinguished - BHPian Join Date: May 2006 Location: Avon, CT Posts: 7,217 Thanked: 1,807 Times View My Garage	Ajit jokes Robert: baas, China se Mr. Hu aayee hain. Ajit: Goli maar do. Hu mar jaane par humor ban ke sab ko hasaayenge. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Scene: Ajeet thouroughly disgusted with Mona daaa..arrling's typing. Ajeet: Raaberrt, Mona ke dono hathon ko kaat do. Raabert: Magar kyoon baas ? Ajeet: Typing to nahi atee, kamsekam shaarthand to seekh legi. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Ajeet: Raabert, in kutton ke saamne yeh Compooter laga do aur debugger starrt kar do. Raabert: Lekin kyoon, baas? Ajeet: Saale Checkpoint mein atak jayenge. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Ajeet: Raabert, Test Match mein kyaa ho raha hai ? Raabert: Baas, Vivian Richards chhakke pe chhakka maar raha hai. Ajeet: Saaleh ko sabak sikhana padega. Lunch break mein usse phone milana. Raabert: Yes baas. Ajeet: (on phone, to Richards): Veeveeyun Reechards, tumhari Maa hamare kabze mein hai ....... -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Scene: Ajeet comes to know about the traitor in his gang. Ajeet: Raabert, ise ShamePain mein daal tho, agar Shame se nahi mara to Pain se mar jayega. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Ajeet: Rabert! isko eraser se maar do, yeh mar bhi jayega aur mit bhi jayega -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Raabert: Baas! Aaap ko kaun si teen chiz sabse jahyahda pasand hein baas? Ajeet: Ek Mona, Doosra Sona, aur Tisra, Mona ke saath Sona -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Peter: Baas? Sona kahan hei? Ajeet: Tum chahe jahan bhi sona, lekin mujhe to Mona darling ke saath sona! -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Scene: Ajeet is escaping with his men in a helicopter... Ajeet: Kuch hee der mein hamara helicopter hindustan ki sarhadon ke pare door birmingham mein hoga. Wahaan tumhe ek kaale rang ki sioorlett (cheverlett) nazar aayegi. Wo tumhe signal degee...on..off..on..off Raabert : baas..hamara signal kya hoga ? Ajeet : bewkoof...off..on..off..on... -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Raabert: Baas? Is kaa kyaa kare baas? Ajeet: Rawbert! Is pille ko liquid oxygen me daal do. Liquid ise jeene nahi dega, aur oxygen ise marne nahi dega.

6th April 2007, 20:56	#1846
abhibh Senior - BHPian Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: Back in the HOOD near you! Posts: 2,768 Thanked: 39 Times	really true.. its very confusing with vista ... But in the end i would suggest WINDOWS XP

7th April 2007, 09:36	#1849
elf BANNED Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Bombay Posts: 1,039 Thanked: 13 Times View My Garage	He could also throw out more useless things, like, say, the driver.

8th April 2007, 19:01	#1853
V-16 Senior - BHPian Join Date: May 2005 Location: mumbai Posts: 4,594 Thanked: 950 Times View My Garage	A man and his nagging wife went to Jerusalem for a holiday where unfortunately, she died. The undertaker advised that shipping her back to India would cost him $5000 whereas if he buried her in Jerusalem, it would cost only $150/-. Husband chose to ship her home. The undertaker was surprised and asked why. Husband said:''A LONG TIME AGO A MAN DIED AND WAS BURIED HERE AND ON THE THIRD DAY HE ROSE AGAIN. I CAN'T TAKE THAT CHANCE, SORRY'' HAPPY EASTER TO ALL OF YOU!!

9th April 2007, 13:22	#1854
Ram Senior - BHPian Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Singapore, Mumbai, Nagpur Posts: 2,166 Thanked: 219 Times View My Garage	This actually happened one morning in Ireland. What must have they been thinking? Ram Click on the images for an enlarged one.

9th April 2007, 13:26	#1855
Samurai Team-BHP Support Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Bangalore/Udupi Posts: 25,828 Thanked: 45,555 Times View My Garage	Ram, some part of this photo series is known to be photoshopped. This has been around the Internet for long.

9th April 2007, 13:40	#1856
tsk1979 Team-BHP Support Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: San Jose, CA Posts: 23,717 Thanked: 22,825 Times View My Garage	Its the last pic which is photoshopped.

10th April 2007, 05:06	#1857
Rehaan Team-BHP Support Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: Bombay Posts: 24,046 Thanked: 34,076 Times	Ram, The thread exists here - http://www.team-bhp.com/forum/shifti...es-itself.html cya R

10th April 2007, 19:42	#1858
normally_crazy Senior - BHPian Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: Mumbai Posts: 4,369 Thanked: 528 Times View My Garage	Check these WACKY ANSWERS to questions

11th April 2007, 12:08	#1859
esteem_lover Senior - BHPian Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Madras/Py Posts: 7,556 Thanked: 502 Times View My Garage	A scene somewhere in bihar.