The other night I was invited out for a night with “the girls.” I told my husband that I would be home by midnight, “I promise!” Well, the hours passed and the margaritas went down way too easy. Around 3 AM, a bit the worse for wear, I headed for home.
Just as I got in the door, the cuckoo clock in the hall started up and cuckooed three times. Quickly, realizing my husband would probably wake up, I cuckooed another nine times. I was really proud of myself for coming up with such a quick-witted solution, in order to escape a possible conflict with him. (Even when totally smashed . . . 3 cuckoos plus 9 cuckoos totals 12 cuckoos=midnight!) The next morning my husband asked me what time I got in, and I told him “Midnight”. He didn’t seem cross at all. Whew! Got away with that one! Then he said, “We need a new cuckoo clock.”
When I asked him why, he said, “Well, last night our clock cuckooed three times, then said, ‘Oh ****,’ cuckooed four more times, cleared its throat, cuckooed another three times, giggled, cuckooed twice more, and then tripped over the coffee table and farted.”
If you are on an airplane sitting next to someone who is irritating you.
Follow these instructions:
1. Quietly and calmly open up your laptop case.
2. Remove your laptop.
3. Start up
4. Make sure the guy who is annoying you, can see the screen.
5. Close your eyes tilt your head up to the sky and move your lips as if praying
6. Then run this screen. Click here -> http://boortz.com/mp3/archive/countdown.swf
Got this as a mail forward.
This is really good! Any idea how to save this? Won't get net connectivity on a flight.
Why didn't our friendly neighborhood sardar celebrate suhaag raat with his wife?
Because he read moral advice - Never sleep with married woman
( No offence meant to anyone,this was told to me by a Sardar friend of mine cheers
Last edited by maverick030581 : 18th December 2008 at 10:55.
Man to a friend : Dear Lord,my wifey is so scared of water I can't tell you.
Friend : Really ??
Man : Yes,she is so scared of water that I saw her in the bathtub yesterday bathing with the security guard !
An Indian couple had a beautiful daughter.They named her Rosemary.As she grew up,she was fed up of being teased continuously.Reason - her last name was Lal.So she was called Rosemary Lal.
Her frustration knew no bounds until her parents decided to get her married.She was happy thinking that atleast now the teasing would stop.Not to be.She got married to a Mr.Lele,so now she became Mrs.Rosemary Lele.
Fed up of the harassment she divorced him and decided to marry an American living here,thinking the same trouble wouldn't arise with an English last name.Tough luck,she is now -
"Thought you might appreciate the subtlety of this ad, done by a Brazilian ad agency, for a lubricating gel (K-Y equivalent) targeting the French market. They were trying to come up with an ad that is not offensive or tasteless. The picture looks completely innocent until you notice the details... Oh, my God. Look carefully at the details. Apparently, it has created quite a buzz in Europe."