The Official Joke thread

Mr_Bean · 21st January 2009, 15:40

What is the difference between a virgin and a Maruti Vehicle?

One hit and they don't stay the same.

cheers:

sameel · 21st January 2009, 16:13

@mr BEAN

hehehe..

Eddy · 21st January 2009, 16:22

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mr_Bean

What is the difference between a virgin and a Maruti Vehicle?

One hit and they don't stay the same.

cheers:

Thats not a difference dude. Its a similarity

Mr_Bean · 21st January 2009, 16:31

Quote:

Originally Posted by Eddy

Thats not a difference dude. Its a similarity

Thanks for pointing that out

. Team-bhp & my office work together don't go well. Too addicted to this site at office, sometime I forgot what I am typing.

abhi_krishna · 21st January 2009, 16:49

Bad, Good , Excellent

rjvora_2000 · 21st January 2009, 17:54

Quote:

Originally Posted by abhi_krishna

Bad, Good , Excellent

This one is a really smart one.

Cyrus43 · 21st January 2009, 19:23

Quote:

Originally Posted by abhi_krishna

Bad, Good , Excellent

HAHAHA!! A nice one After a VERY long time here!!! BRAVO BRAVO!!

harry10 · 21st January 2009, 19:30

Lol@ abhi - Very funny!

narayan · 21st January 2009, 19:39

A minister and a mad man...
Once a Minister went to the Agra Mental Asylum to see the condition of the mad people kept there. He saw that some mad people had gone from bad to worse and some mad people were improving. After inspecting some mad people he came to a corner and saw one person who was sitting rather quietly.

He went to him and asked him how are you and that person calmly replied I am fine and asked "What about you Sir".

The Minister was quite surprised at the reply. The Minister asked him many questions about General knowledge and to his surprise the mad man answered them all right. The surprised Minister told him,"you dont seem to be mad then why are you kept here. The person replied,"kya kare sahab majburi hai".

The minister took out a cigarette packet and took one cigarette and gave the packet to the lunatic. He took out all the cigarettes and peeled the paper cover off and took out all the tobacco and put it on his head and asked the minister for a lighter. T

he minister gave him a lighter. He burnt the tobacco on his head, opened his pajamas and asked the Minister,"Sahab Hukkah Peeyenge".

HappyWheels · 22nd January 2009, 17:27

Got this as a mail forward:

Heights of cost cutting!!!

tsk1979 · 23rd January 2009, 00:32

With IBM layoffs looming around the corner, IBM classic jokes are making rounds again

Two lions escape from the zoo. They decide to split up and meet back in two months to see how the other is doing.
Two months later, one lion is scrawny and beat up, the other is fat and happy. The scrawny beat up lion says, "I went to the park and started eating children. The police and national guard came after me and I haven't stopped running since. How are you so well fed?"
The second lion replies, "Easy! I Just hid outside the IBM office and ate a manager every day. Nobody even noticed!"

paras211 · 23rd January 2009, 02:00

The Official Joke thread-n507657876_1473592_1091.jpg

i found this on some ones facebk pic

f450 · 23rd January 2009, 04:44

Quote:

Originally Posted by paras211

Attachment 92566

i found this on some ones facebk pic

. we cross those speeds regularly.

Nikhilb2008 · 23rd January 2009, 19:01

The Story of the Gujarati Origin of Valentine's Day.
In spite of what you have been told by everyone, the truth is that [COLOR=#ff0000]Valentine's Day[/COLOR] originated hundreds of years ago, in India, and to top it all, in Gujarat!!
It is a well known fact that Gujarati men, specially the Patels, would continually mistreat and disrespect their wives (Patelianis). One fine day, it happened to be the 14th day of February, one brave Pateliani, having had enough of the "torture" by her husband, finally chose to rebel by beating him up with a Velan (rolling pin).
Yes... the same Velan which she used daily, to make chapattis for him... only this time, instead of the dough, it was the husband who
was flattened.
This was a momentous occasion for all Gujarati women and a revolt soon spread, like wild fire, with thousands of housewives beating up their husbands with the Velan.
There was an outburst of moaning of "chapatti-ed" husbands all over Anand & Amdavad. The Patel men-folk quickly learnt their lesson and started to behave more respectfully with their Patelianis.
Thereafter, on 14th February, every year, the womenfolk of Gujarat would beat up their husbands, to commemorate that eventful day. The wives, having the satisfaction of beating up their husbands with the Velan, and the husbands, having the supreme joy of submitting to the will of the women they
loved. Soon the Gujju men realised that in order to avoid this ordeal they need to present gifts to their wives... they bought flowers, clothes, jewellery,sweetmeats and other gifts. Hence the tradition began.
As Gujarat fell under the influence of British rule & Western culture, that day was called 'Velan-time' day.
The ritual soon spread to Britain and many other Western countries,specifically, the catch words 'Velan-time!'. Of course in their
foreign tongues, it was anglicized, first to 'Velantime' and then to 'Valentine'. And thereafter, 14th of February, came to be known as
Valentine's Day!
The Ends.

aka_iitd · 23rd January 2009, 19:04

Nikhil it is toooo much

21st January 2009, 15:40	#3421
Mr_Bean BHPian Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: Bangalore Posts: 891 Thanked: 241 Times View My Garage	difference What is the difference between a virgin and a Maruti Vehicle? One hit and they don't stay the same. cheers: Last edited by Jaggu : 21st January 2009 at 16:02. Reason: font tags, use note pad, before you copy paste the text to avoid tags

21st January 2009, 16:49	#3425
abhi_krishna Newbie Join Date: Jun 2008 Location: Pune Posts: 11 Thanked: 23 Times	Bad, Good , Excellent Attached Thumbnails

21st January 2009, 19:39	#3429
narayan Senior - BHPian Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: Singapore Posts: 3,114 Thanked: 2,372 Times View My Garage	Mantri jokes A minister and a mad man... Once a Minister went to the Agra Mental Asylum to see the condition of the mad people kept there. He saw that some mad people had gone from bad to worse and some mad people were improving. After inspecting some mad people he came to a corner and saw one person who was sitting rather quietly. He went to him and asked him how are you and that person calmly replied I am fine and asked "What about you Sir". The Minister was quite surprised at the reply. The Minister asked him many questions about General knowledge and to his surprise the mad man answered them all right. The surprised Minister told him,"you dont seem to be mad then why are you kept here. The person replied,"kya kare sahab majburi hai". The minister took out a cigarette packet and took one cigarette and gave the packet to the lunatic. He took out all the cigarettes and peeled the paper cover off and took out all the tobacco and put it on his head and asked the minister for a lighter. T he minister gave him a lighter. He burnt the tobacco on his head, opened his pajamas and asked the Minister,"Sahab Hukkah Peeyenge".

21st January 2009, 16:13	#3422
sameel BHPian Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: cochin Posts: 268 Thanked: 3 Times	@mr BEAN hehehe..

21st January 2009, 19:30	#3428
harry10 Senior - BHPian Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: Faridabad/Delhi Posts: 2,713 Thanked: 3,627 Times View My Garage	Lol@ abhi - Very funny!

22nd January 2009, 17:27	#3430
HappyWheels Senior - BHPian Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: Bangalore Posts: 4,106 Thanked: 537 Times	Got this as a mail forward: Heights of cost cutting!!!

23rd January 2009, 00:32	#3431
tsk1979 Team-BHP Support Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: San Jose, CA Posts: 23,717 Thanked: 22,825 Times View My Garage	With IBM layoffs looming around the corner, IBM classic jokes are making rounds again Two lions escape from the zoo. They decide to split up and meet back in two months to see how the other is doing. Two months later, one lion is scrawny and beat up, the other is fat and happy. The scrawny beat up lion says, "I went to the park and started eating children. The police and national guard came after me and I haven't stopped running since. How are you so well fed?" The second lion replies, "Easy! I Just hid outside the IBM office and ate a manager every day. Nobody even noticed!"

23rd January 2009, 02:00	#3432
paras211 BHPian Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: mumbai Posts: 646 Thanked: 108 Times View My Garage	i found this on some ones facebk pic

23rd January 2009, 19:01	#3434
Nikhilb2008 Distinguished - BHPian Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Bangalore Posts: 5,196 Thanked: 10,138 Times	The Story of the Gujarati Origin of Valentine's Day. In spite of what you have been told by everyone, the truth is that [COLOR=#ff0000]Valentine's Day[/COLOR] originated hundreds of years ago, in India, and to top it all, in Gujarat!! It is a well known fact that Gujarati men, specially the Patels, would continually mistreat and disrespect their wives (Patelianis). One fine day, it happened to be the 14th day of February, one brave Pateliani, having had enough of the "torture" by her husband, finally chose to rebel by beating him up with a Velan (rolling pin). Yes... the same Velan which she used daily, to make chapattis for him... only this time, instead of the dough, it was the husband who was flattened. This was a momentous occasion for all Gujarati women and a revolt soon spread, like wild fire, with thousands of housewives beating up their husbands with the Velan. There was an outburst of moaning of "chapatti-ed" husbands all over Anand & Amdavad. The Patel men-folk quickly learnt their lesson and started to behave more respectfully with their Patelianis. Thereafter, on 14th February, every year, the womenfolk of Gujarat would beat up their husbands, to commemorate that eventful day. The wives, having the satisfaction of beating up their husbands with the Velan, and the husbands, having the supreme joy of submitting to the will of the women they loved. Soon the Gujju men realised that in order to avoid this ordeal they need to present gifts to their wives... they bought flowers, clothes, jewellery,sweetmeats and other gifts. Hence the tradition began. As Gujarat fell under the influence of British rule & Western culture, that day was called 'Velan-time' day. The ritual soon spread to Britain and many other Western countries,specifically, the catch words 'Velan-time!'. Of course in their foreign tongues, it was anglicized, first to 'Velantime' and then to 'Valentine'. And thereafter, 14th of February, came to be known as Valentine's Day! The Ends.

23rd January 2009, 19:04	#3435
aka_iitd BHPian Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: Bangalore Posts: 630 Thanked: 45 Times	Nikhil it is toooo much