The Official Joke thread

abhinav.s · 1st July 2010, 22:03

Quote:

Originally Posted by prince_pervez

...Instead of saying "Boss, move on, we haven't got all day", he said "Yup, its a tough decision" and I burst into laughter much to the amusement of the billing lady. I asked him to bill his items. It made my evening or what was left of it. Grass root level people here are absolute darlings.

Though not ROTFL, I can imagine how amusing it should have been to get a reaction like that from a person waiting patiently behind you. Put a smile on my face.

Quote:

Originally Posted by prince_pervez

...."Oh! I'm sorry. Looks like you will have to buy your OWN milk next time."
'Own' was underlined and written in uppercase. I have a snap of it. Will post it later.

Now this got me laughing. Sheer presence of mind in both the scenarios i must say and yes they are really nice specially to elders(as told by my FIL during his visit)

BaCkSeAtDrIVeR · 1st July 2010, 22:34

We were in high school, and the cricket fever has just begun. Kapil's Devi's had just won the Prudential cup, and almost every match, including test matches were avidly followed. During lunch break, some of the students would go home, and we would await for their return with bated breath, for the latest updates.

"What is the latest score? Who is batting now? How many runs had X or Y scored?" were the question every guy who went home for lunch had to face.

On a particular day, this boy rushed in, only a few seconds before the teacher was due to make her appearance. The class was silent, taking our books out in anticipation of teacher's appearace. And suddenly, one girl shouted out "what is the score?". The class was stunned; girls were not supposed to be interested in cricket.

Without batting an eyelid, the boy replied "VK Ramaswamy and Ram Babu Gupta have both scored centuries!!!"; and all the girls applauded at the news; and we burst out laughing.

The second one.

This was a missionary school, and we would have "morel instruction" classes - plain Bible. And in a particular, it was handled by a pastor.

On this particular day, the "Moral Instruction" was just after Maths class; and in Math class, we were just introduced to Trignometry (Sine, Cosine, Tangent, etc).

And the pastor opened the class with the question "what is sin?"

Pat came the reply from somebody in the rear -

"Opposite side by hypotenuse!!!".

-- x -- o -- x --

So, anybody out there, remembering both these incidents?

Samurai · 1st July 2010, 23:57

Quote:

Originally Posted by prince_pervez

"Oh! I'm sorry. Looks like you will have to buy your OWN milk next time."
'Own' was underlined and written in uppercase. I have a snap of it. Will post it later.

Something similar happened while I used to work at NJ in the early 90s. The milk belonging to one lady was taken by another person from the common refrigerator in the office. Next day she put a post-it on the milk container. "I made this milk for my infant son, don't take it".

prince_pervez · 2nd July 2010, 00:20

Here you go guys! Have a blast!
Sankar (colleague) and me planned to get another milk container the next day and
with a slogan "Sharing is a virtue, Go ahead, have some".

ajmat · 2nd July 2010, 11:27

You should. i used to share a house with two others. it was a waste, with three cartons open at the same time and most of the time half the carton goes bad. I suggested we have a kitty and pool the milk etc. It worked and they realised that they saved lot more

anku94 · 6th July 2010, 02:05

Just saw in some Hindi paper that Fiat Bravo produces 150 nanometres of torque...

Maybe I'll buy one and enter snailolympics now...

Cesc · 8th July 2010, 17:35

Bubba was bragging to his boss one day, "You know, I know everyone there is to know in the world. Name someone, anyone, and I know them."
Tired of hearing Bubba boasting, his boss said, "OK Bubba, how about Tom Cruise do you know him?"
"Sure, yes, Tom and I are old friends, and I can prove it." So Bubba and his boss fly out to Hollywood and knock on Tom Cruise's door, and sure enough, Tom Cruise shouts, "Bubba! Great to see you! You and your friend come right in and join me for lunch!"
Although impressed, Bubba's boss is still skeptical. After they leave Cruise's house, he tells Bubba that he thinks Bubba's knowing Cruise was just lucky.
"No, no, just name anyone else," Bubba says.
"President Bush," his boss quickly retorts.
"Yes," Bubba says, "I know him, let's fly out to Washington." And off they go. At the White House, Bush spots Bubba on the tour and motions him and his boss over, saying, "Bubba, what a surprise, I was just on my way to a meeting, but you and your friend come on in, let's have a cup of coffee first to catch up."
Well, the boss is very shaken by now, but still not totally convinced. After they leave the White house grounds, he expresses his doubts to Bubba, who again implores him to name anyone else.
"The Pope," his boss replies.
"Sure!" says Bubba.
"My folks are from Poland, and I've known the Pope a long time."
So off they fly to Rome. Bubba and his boss are assembled with the masses in Vatican Square when Bubba says, "This will never work. I can't catch the Pope's eye among all these people. Tell you what, I know all the guards so let me just go upstairs and I'll come out on the balcony with the Pope."
And he disappears into the crowd headed toward the Vatican. Sure enough, half an hour later Bubba emerges with the Pope on the balcony. But by the time Bubba returns, he finds that his boss has had a heart attack and is surrounded by paramedics.
Working his way to his boss' side, Bubba asks him, "What happened?"
His boss looks up and says, I was doing fine until you and the Pope came out on the balcony and the man next to me said, "Who's that on the balcony with Bubba?"

prince_pervez · 8th July 2010, 18:12

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cesc

"Who's that on the balcony with Bubba?"

Nice, good one. I liked it! Bubba and I are good friends. He might visit me on the weekend.

BaCkSeAtDrIVeR · 8th July 2010, 18:23

Quote:

Originally Posted by prince_pervez

Nice, good one. I liked it! Bubba and I are good friends. He might visit me on the weekend.

Buba has changed his name to Kuttappan, and is a member of this forum.

Check up member Kuttappan's intro thread.

prince_pervez · 8th July 2010, 18:24

Quote:

Originally Posted by BaCkSeAtDrIVeR

Buba has changed his name to Kuttappan, and is a member of this forum.

Check up member Kuttappan's intro thread.

That is another one for me!

And buddy you need to teach me how you that to your signature.

Antonian · 8th July 2010, 18:33

Here is some funny pictures!!
Definitly there will a master mind behind all these ...

Antonian · 8th July 2010, 19:52

here is some more pictures of the holywood stars !!!
how they look now ...

sreedotk · 8th July 2010, 20:30

Quote:

Originally Posted by Antonian

Here is some funny pictures!!
Definitly there will a master mind behind all these ...

The last one i can actually relate to it. I absolutely hate having to pick up chords everyday from the floor and thread it through the hole and plug it to my laptop

I actually have such an arrangement working pretty decently at my desk

prince_pervez · 8th July 2010, 20:37

Quote:

Originally Posted by Antonian

Here is some funny pictures!!
Definitly there will a master mind behind all these ...

Beautiful. The windshield wipers and the seatbelt utility were the best among the lot.

StarVegabond · 8th July 2010, 20:49

That Umbrella being added on the DTH antenna is becasue the transmission technology used is DVB-S2 which is prome to issues when there is rain.

Umbrella is practical solution to a complex technical probelm.
it appears funny, but a reall issue

1st July 2010, 22:34	#4172
BaCkSeAtDrIVeR Senior - BHPian Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Kochi Posts: 2,540 Thanked: 758 Times	Two Real life Jokes We were in high school, and the cricket fever has just begun. Kapil's Devi's had just won the Prudential cup, and almost every match, including test matches were avidly followed. During lunch break, some of the students would go home, and we would await for their return with bated breath, for the latest updates. "What is the latest score? Who is batting now? How many runs had X or Y scored?" were the question every guy who went home for lunch had to face. On a particular day, this boy rushed in, only a few seconds before the teacher was due to make her appearance. The class was silent, taking our books out in anticipation of teacher's appearace. And suddenly, one girl shouted out "what is the score?". The class was stunned; girls were not supposed to be interested in cricket. Without batting an eyelid, the boy replied "VK Ramaswamy and Ram Babu Gupta have both scored centuries!!!"; and all the girls applauded at the news; and we burst out laughing. The second one. This was a missionary school, and we would have "morel instruction" classes - plain Bible. And in a particular, it was handled by a pastor. On this particular day, the "Moral Instruction" was just after Maths class; and in Math class, we were just introduced to Trignometry (Sine, Cosine, Tangent, etc). And the pastor opened the class with the question "what is sin?" Pat came the reply from somebody in the rear - "Opposite side by hypotenuse!!!". -- x -- o -- x -- So, anybody out there, remembering both these incidents?

2nd July 2010, 00:20	#4174
prince_pervez Senior - BHPian Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: Redwood shores, CA, USA Posts: 4,211 Thanked: 53 Times View My Garage	Here you go guys! Have a blast! Sankar (colleague) and me planned to get another milk container the next day and with a slogan "Sharing is a virtue, Go ahead, have some". Attached Thumbnails Last edited by prince_pervez : 2nd July 2010 at 00:24.

8th July 2010, 18:33	#4181
Antonian BHPian Join Date: Jun 2010 Location: KL (6+1) Posts: 105 Thanked: 2 Times	Here is some funny pictures!! Definitly there will a master mind behind all these ... Attached Thumbnails Attached Images

8th July 2010, 19:52	#4182
Antonian BHPian Join Date: Jun 2010 Location: KL (6+1) Posts: 105 Thanked: 2 Times	here is some more pictures of the holywood stars !!! how they look now ... Attached Thumbnails

2nd July 2010, 11:27	#4175
ajmat Team-BHP Support Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: Bangalore Posts: 15,216 Thanked: 31,655 Times View My Garage	You should. i used to share a house with two others. it was a waste, with three cartons open at the same time and most of the time half the carton goes bad. I suggested we have a kitty and pool the milk etc. It worked and they realised that they saved lot more

6th July 2010, 02:05	#4176
anku94 BHPian Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: Bangalore Posts: 249 Thanked: 354 Times	Just saw in some Hindi paper that Fiat Bravo produces 150 nanometres of torque... Maybe I'll buy one and enter snailolympics now...

8th July 2010, 17:35	#4177
Cesc BHPian Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: Philly, Gurgaon Posts: 651 Thanked: 288 Times	Bubba was bragging to his boss one day, "You know, I know everyone there is to know in the world. Name someone, anyone, and I know them." Tired of hearing Bubba boasting, his boss said, "OK Bubba, how about Tom Cruise do you know him?" "Sure, yes, Tom and I are old friends, and I can prove it." So Bubba and his boss fly out to Hollywood and knock on Tom Cruise's door, and sure enough, Tom Cruise shouts, "Bubba! Great to see you! You and your friend come right in and join me for lunch!" Although impressed, Bubba's boss is still skeptical. After they leave Cruise's house, he tells Bubba that he thinks Bubba's knowing Cruise was just lucky. "No, no, just name anyone else," Bubba says. "President Bush," his boss quickly retorts. "Yes," Bubba says, "I know him, let's fly out to Washington." And off they go. At the White House, Bush spots Bubba on the tour and motions him and his boss over, saying, "Bubba, what a surprise, I was just on my way to a meeting, but you and your friend come on in, let's have a cup of coffee first to catch up." Well, the boss is very shaken by now, but still not totally convinced. After they leave the White house grounds, he expresses his doubts to Bubba, who again implores him to name anyone else. "The Pope," his boss replies. "Sure!" says Bubba. "My folks are from Poland, and I've known the Pope a long time." So off they fly to Rome. Bubba and his boss are assembled with the masses in Vatican Square when Bubba says, "This will never work. I can't catch the Pope's eye among all these people. Tell you what, I know all the guards so let me just go upstairs and I'll come out on the balcony with the Pope." And he disappears into the crowd headed toward the Vatican. Sure enough, half an hour later Bubba emerges with the Pope on the balcony. But by the time Bubba returns, he finds that his boss has had a heart attack and is surrounded by paramedics. Working his way to his boss' side, Bubba asks him, "What happened?" His boss looks up and says, I was doing fine until you and the Pope came out on the balcony and the man next to me said, "Who's that on the balcony with Bubba?"

8th July 2010, 20:49	#4185
StarVegabond Senior - BHPian Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: Bangalore Posts: 1,891 Thanked: 44 Times	That Umbrella being added on the DTH antenna is becasue the transmission technology used is DVB-S2 which is prome to issues when there is rain. Umbrella is practical solution to a complex technical probelm. it appears funny, but a reall issue