I was standing at the Walmart billing section and I had loaded the belt with my stuff and the lady was scanning the barcodes and I was scanning the chololate and gum rack just adjecent. Little did I realise that the lady had finished checking in the items in the bags and was waiting for me to give her my credit card/cash and so was another man waiting for his turn. Instead of saying "Boss, move on, we haven't got all day", he said "Yup, its a tough decision" and I burst into laughter much to the amusement of the billing lady. I asked him to bill his items. It made my evening or what was left of it. Grass root level people here are absolute darlings.
Hahaha! that was a sweet one. I am ROFL. I got it on reading it the 2nd time though.
An elderly lady actually wrote this letter to her bank. The bank manager thought it amusing enough to have it published in The Times and this newspaper thanks him most sincerely.
I am writing to thank you for bouncing my cheque with which I endeavored to pay my plumber last month. By my calculations, three seconds must have elapsed between his presenting the cheque and the arrival in my account of the funds needed to honor it.
I refer, of course, to the automatic monthly deposit of my Pension, an arrangement which, I admit, has been in place for only thirty eight years. You are to be commended for seizing that brief window of opportunity, and also for debiting my account £30 by way of penalty for the inconvenience caused to your bank.
My thankfulness springs from the manner in which this incident has caused me to rethink my errant financial ways.
I noticed that whereas I personally attend to your telephone calls and letters, when I try to contact you, I am confronted by the impersonal, overcharging, re-recorded, faceless entity which your bank has become.
From now on, I, like you, choose only to deal with a flesh-and-blood person. My mortgage and loan payments will therefore and hereafter no longer be automatic, but will arrive at your bank by cheque, addressed personally and confidentially to an employee at your bank whom you must nominate.
Be aware that it is an offense under the Postal Act for any other person to open such an envelope.
Please find attached an Application Contact Status which I require your chosen employee to complete. I am sorry it runs to eight pages, but in order that I know as much about him or her as your bank knows about me, there is no alternative. Please note that all copies of his or her medical history must be countersigned by a Solicitor, and the mandatory details of his/her financial situation (income, debts, assets and liabilities) must be accompanied by documented proof.
In due course, I will issue your employee with a PIN number which he/she must quote in dealings with me. I regret that it cannot be shorter than 28 digits but, again, I have modeled it on the number of button presses required of me to access my account balance on your phone bank service.
As they say, imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.
Let me level the playing field even further. When you call me, press buttons as follows:
1-- To make an appointment to see me.
2-- To query a missing payment.
3-- To transfer the call to my living room in case I am there.
4-- To transfer the call to my bedroom in case I am sleeping.
5-- To transfer the call to my toilet in case I am attending to nature.
6-- To transfer the call to my mobile phone if I am not at home.
7-- To leave a message on my computer (a password to access my computer is required. A password will be communicated to you at a later date to the Authorized Contact.)
8-- To return to the main menu and to listen to options 1 through 8
9-- To make a general complaint or inquiry, the contact will then be put on hold, pending the attention of my automated answering service. While this may, on occasion, involve a lengthy wait, uplifting music will play for the duration of the call.
Regrettably, but again following your example, I must also levy an establishment fee to cover the setting up of this new arrangement.
May I wish you a happy, if ever so slightly less prosperous, New Year.
I will try to list all the PJ's Known to me to make you laugh.
1) How do you turn your sambar in to gold ?
Ans: Add: 24 Carrots !
2) What do you call son of Monk and Nun?
Ans: Monk-Nun-Maga (Dumb Fellow in Kannada)
3) How do you put Elephant in the Fridge ?
Ans: Open the door and Put it.
4) How do you keep Giraffe into fridge ?
Ans: No, it's not what you think.. Open the door, Remove the Elephant and Keep Giraffe.
5) When Lion calls for a meeting in the jungle, All the animals except one will attend ? Which is that animal.
Ans: it's Girafee as it's still stuck in the fridge.
Now i am running before you guys start beating me blue and black.
Smile ! it won't cost you nothing. Add your PJ's as well.