The Official Joke thread

deepakchiniwal · 23rd July 2010, 12:20

got this as email forwards.

jeeva · 23rd July 2010, 12:29

^^ That's the yesteryear tamil hero Ramaraj dealing with the villans.
He is usually seen flaunting his red/pink/yellow silky apparels and matching lip gloss running around the trees with a pee-pee in his mouth .

greencity · 29th July 2010, 13:48

Hi this is the best scenario one will come across in MNC's.

sammyboy · 29th July 2010, 18:37

Got this spam mail today , check out the vacancies

__________________________________________________ ______

Golden Sea Foods Co.Ltd Canada
Tel : +1 315 359 5861
OUR REF: GSF/JB/VOL/0864/10

Dear Sir/ Madam,

Golden Sea Foods Co.Ltd Canada And Its Joint Ventures a reputable Company based in the Canada and other part of the world after recommendation from labor consultant, we seek to write to your response on a Job opportunity.

The company needed about 400 workers to sum up the already registered one,whom their visas has been issued, because many workers will be leaving the company,at the end of this year cause of the expiration of their contract with the company.

The Company have the following vacancy:

a) Fish Packing (b) Fish Cutting (c) Company Security ( d) Office Cleaner ( e) Laborers ( f) Lobsters

( g) Drivers(h) Cook ( i) Construction/Engineering works (j) Administrative/Medical jobs for degree holders in Health and Management Courses, (k) Computer Administration.

condor · 29th July 2010, 20:14

Quote:

Otomobil

: Now i am running before you guys start beating me blue and black.

@Ottomobil, pls search before you post .. more than half of your post has been posted earlier.

http://www.team-bhp.com/forum/365740-post1716.html

msdivy · 29th July 2010, 20:22

Yet another medico-astrologer, this time an export !

McLaren Rulez · 29th July 2010, 20:57

Quote:

Originally Posted by condor

@Ottomobil, pls search before you post .. more than half of your post has been posted earlier.

http://www.team-bhp.com/forum/365740-post1716.html

Seeing is we've over 4000 posts in this thread, repetitions are inevitable.

condor · 29th July 2010, 21:48

McLaren Rulez, if we had not been following that guideline, this thread would have been much larger with multiple repeatitions. It is possible to search and keep this thread lean & clean .. Old jokes are no fun. Try reading any joke 3-4 times and you will know.

SS-Traveller · 29th July 2010, 23:10

I opened the fridge to get a bottle of water right now, and the fridge light was busted; groped around in the dark and pulled out a bottle with a long neck, tried to undo the cap and I got bitten.

It was a giraffe I'd pulled out of the fridge instead of a bottle of water...

So you were the nasty fella who was responsible! I'll send you the doctor's bill!

Quote:

Originally Posted by Otomobil

4) How do you keep Giraffe into fridge ?
Ans: No, it's not what you think.. Open the door, Remove the Elephant and Keep Giraffe.

...Girafee as it's still stuck in the fridge.

...and the bill for the fridge light too - the elephant apparently busted it.

RajaTaurus · 30th July 2010, 09:30

^^ On this Giraffe thing, here is an old blog that I wrote on another website.!

The giraffe that ate a refrigerator...
The other day, I was talking to a 3rd year engineering student.
By now, the entire student community knew about the famous "Giraffe In The Refrigerator" quiz.
I was asking him the question. "How can you put a Giraffe in a refrigerator.?”
He promptly said, ’Simple. Open the fridge, put the giraffe in and close the fridge”
I said, “Correct”
At that moment, the next-door kid was passing by, listening to us.
He interrupted us “Uncle, how can you put a giraffe in a fridge? I have seen the giraffe in Zoo and it is too big. How it can go into a fridge?”
We both laughed, “No boy, this is management thing. You won’t understand.”
I turned to the aspiring student and continued "Ok, how can you put an elephant in the fridge?”
He said, “Take the Giraffe out, put the elephant in.”
Now, the boy looked really furious. “ Uncle, if you have a fridge big enough to put a giraffe, why can’t you put an elephant also in it? I haven’t seen any fridge that can take only one thing inside…” At this moment the boy left us.
I sat back and started thinking. Whatever the boy said seemed to make plain logic sense.
If you don’t know something or if you don’t have sufficient information, then you go by logical reasoning, based on your available knowledge and experience.
That’s what the boy did. And I guess we fail to do.
Some management ‘expert’ devised the question and answer and the entire world now believes that is correct.

Now, Here is another aptitude test for management aspirants,
Q: How would a giraffe eat a refrigerator?
A: The giraffe would bite the refrigerator by teeth, lift and swallow.
Q:Correct. How could an elephant eat a refrigerator?
A: It cannot, because the giraffe ate it already…!
Q: Correct again. You pass…. You are qualified to join IIM…!!!

Eddy · 30th July 2010, 10:09

Technicall no. For this to be correct, the second question should have been

Q:Correct. How could an elephant eat the refrigerator?

RajaTaurus · 30th July 2010, 10:41

^^ Agreed. But, technically can an Elephant eat a refrigerator in first place?
Technically the actual answer should be "I strongly suggest you should see a good psychiatrist immediately". hahahha

absynthguzzler · 30th July 2010, 11:05

Here's something i found ages ago and its been one of the best

End of the World. Flash Animation

aa_asif · 30th July 2010, 11:48

Womans Dictionary

Yes = No

No = Yes

Maybe = No

I’m sorry = You’ll be sorry

We need = I want

It’s your decision = My correct decision should be obvious by now

Do what you want = You’ll pay for this later

We need to talk = I need to complain

Sure go ahead = I don’t want you to

I’m not upset = Of course I’m upset, you moron

This kitchen is so inconvenient = I want a new house

I want new curtains = carpeting, furniture, and wallpaper

I heard a noise = I noticed you were almost asleep

Do you love me? = I’m going to ask for something expensive

How much do you love me? = I did something today you’re going to hate

I’ll be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on TV

You have to learn to communicate = Just agree with me

Are you listening to me!? = Too late, you’re dead

MX6 · 30th July 2010, 13:37

On a lighter vein, I'd like to upload some photos which I received as email forward.
The subject of the mail was women drivers.
**Disclaimer**
Just sharing this for laughs. Hope this thread doesn't get locked or me flamed after this!

Name: w_drive_7.jpg
Views: 2040
Size: 15.2 KB

23rd July 2010, 12:20	#4246
deepakchiniwal BHPian Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: Melbourne Posts: 353 Thanked: 28 Times	got this as email forwards. Attached Images Last edited by deepakchiniwal : 23rd July 2010 at 12:22.

23rd July 2010, 12:29	#4247
jeeva BHPian Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: DXB / Nilgiris Posts: 779 Thanked: 1,337 Times View My Garage	^^ That's the yesteryear tamil hero Ramaraj dealing with the villans. He is usually seen flaunting his red/pink/yellow silky apparels and matching lip gloss running around the trees with a pee-pee in his mouth . Last edited by jeeva : 23rd July 2010 at 12:32.

29th July 2010, 18:37	#4249
sammyboy Senior - BHPian Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Ggn/Dehradun Posts: 1,842 Thanked: 526 Times View My Garage	Wanna be a team lead or a manager or a lobster? Got this spam mail today , check out the vacancies __________________________________________________ ______ Golden Sea Foods Co.Ltd Canada Tel : +1 315 359 5861 OUR REF: GSF/JB/VOL/0864/10 Dear Sir/ Madam, Golden Sea Foods Co.Ltd Canada And Its Joint Ventures a reputable Company based in the Canada and other part of the world after recommendation from labor consultant, we seek to write to your response on a Job opportunity. The company needed about 400 workers to sum up the already registered one,whom their visas has been issued, because many workers will be leaving the company,at the end of this year cause of the expiration of their contract with the company. The Company have the following vacancy: a) Fish Packing (b) Fish Cutting (c) Company Security ( d) Office Cleaner ( e) Laborers ( f) Lobsters ( g) Drivers(h) Cook ( i) Construction/Engineering works (j) Administrative/Medical jobs for degree holders in Health and Management Courses, (k) Computer Administration. Last edited by sammyboy : 29th July 2010 at 18:39.

29th July 2010, 20:22	#4251
msdivy Senior - BHPian Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: Bangalore Posts: 1,880 Thanked: 3,072 Times	An Export Pandit Yet another medico-astrologer, this time an export !

30th July 2010, 09:30	#4255
RajaTaurus Senior - BHPian Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: Tenkasi, TN Posts: 1,118 Thanked: 484 Times View My Garage	The Giraffe that ate a Refrigerator...! ^^ On this Giraffe thing, here is an old blog that I wrote on another website.! The giraffe that ate a refrigerator... The other day, I was talking to a 3rd year engineering student. By now, the entire student community knew about the famous "Giraffe In The Refrigerator" quiz. I was asking him the question. "How can you put a Giraffe in a refrigerator.?” He promptly said, ’Simple. Open the fridge, put the giraffe in and close the fridge” I said, “Correct” At that moment, the next-door kid was passing by, listening to us. He interrupted us “Uncle, how can you put a giraffe in a fridge? I have seen the giraffe in Zoo and it is too big. How it can go into a fridge?” We both laughed, “No boy, this is management thing. You won’t understand.” I turned to the aspiring student and continued "Ok, how can you put an elephant in the fridge?” He said, “Take the Giraffe out, put the elephant in.” Now, the boy looked really furious. “ Uncle, if you have a fridge big enough to put a giraffe, why can’t you put an elephant also in it? I haven’t seen any fridge that can take only one thing inside…” At this moment the boy left us. I sat back and started thinking. Whatever the boy said seemed to make plain logic sense. If you don’t know something or if you don’t have sufficient information, then you go by logical reasoning, based on your available knowledge and experience. That’s what the boy did. And I guess we fail to do. Some management ‘expert’ devised the question and answer and the entire world now believes that is correct. Now, Here is another aptitude test for management aspirants, Q: How would a giraffe eat a refrigerator? A: The giraffe would bite the refrigerator by teeth, lift and swallow. Q:Correct. How could an elephant eat a refrigerator? A: It cannot, because the giraffe ate it already…! Q: Correct again. You pass…. You are qualified to join IIM…!!! Last edited by RajaTaurus : 30th July 2010 at 09:31.

29th July 2010, 13:48	#4248
greencity BANNED Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: Hyderabad Posts: 30 Thanked: 0 Times	Hi this is the best scenario one will come across in MNC's.

29th July 2010, 21:48	#4253
condor Distinguished - BHPian Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: Speed-brkr City Posts: 16,240 Thanked: 16,893 Times View My Garage	McLaren Rulez, if we had not been following that guideline, this thread would have been much larger with multiple repeatitions. It is possible to search and keep this thread lean & clean .. Old jokes are no fun. Try reading any joke 3-4 times and you will know.

30th July 2010, 10:09	#4256
Eddy Team-BHP Support Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: Singapore Posts: 9,565 Thanked: 14,551 Times	Technicall no. For this to be correct, the second question should have been Q:Correct. How could an elephant eat the refrigerator?

30th July 2010, 10:41	#4257
RajaTaurus Senior - BHPian Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: Tenkasi, TN Posts: 1,118 Thanked: 484 Times View My Garage	^^ Agreed. But, technically can an Elephant eat a refrigerator in first place? Technically the actual answer should be "I strongly suggest you should see a good psychiatrist immediately". hahahha

30th July 2010, 11:05	#4258
absynthguzzler BHPian Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: hyderabad Posts: 651 Thanked: 245 Times	Here's something i found ages ago and its been one of the best End of the World. Flash Animation

30th July 2010, 11:48	#4259
aa_asif BHPian Join Date: Jun 2008 Location: KL 07 > KA 03 Posts: 255 Thanked: 67 Times View My Garage	Womans Dictionary Yes = No No = Yes Maybe = No I’m sorry = You’ll be sorry We need = I want It’s your decision = My correct decision should be obvious by now Do what you want = You’ll pay for this later We need to talk = I need to complain Sure go ahead = I don’t want you to I’m not upset = Of course I’m upset, you moron This kitchen is so inconvenient = I want a new house I want new curtains = carpeting, furniture, and wallpaper I heard a noise = I noticed you were almost asleep Do you love me? = I’m going to ask for something expensive How much do you love me? = I did something today you’re going to hate I’ll be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on TV You have to learn to communicate = Just agree with me Are you listening to me!? = Too late, you’re dead

30th July 2010, 13:37	#4260
MX6 Senior - BHPian Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: City of seven islands. Posts: 2,878 Thanked: 235 Times	On a lighter vein, I'd like to upload some photos which I received as email forward. The subject of the mail was women drivers. Disclaimer Just sharing this for laughs. Hope this thread doesn't get locked or me flamed after this! Last edited by Jaggu : 30th July 2010 at 15:12. Reason: Please keep the jokes here, out there it will be perceived as gender bias. Thanks