The Official Joke thread

sachinj12 · 6th September 2010, 19:45

Quote:

Originally Posted by ch.nathan

you are hereby condor'ed:

Can someone please explain? Is it got to do something with DBHPian condor?

dark_horizon · 6th September 2010, 20:28

The Vigil Idiot's take on 'We Are Family'

Movie Review: We Are Family | The Vigil Idiot

As usual, damn funny & true.

BaCkSeAtDrIVeR · 6th September 2010, 20:43

Quote:

Originally Posted by sachinj12

Can someone please explain? Is it got to do something with DBHPian condor?

Yes - you are right.

Condor used to have the monopoly of pointing out duplicate posts here; till somebody coined the phrase "conrored".

When somebody is "condored", he has just repeated a joke which has already been posted.

You can use the "search this thread" link above to find if the joke you want to post has been posted here earlier.

vivekiny2k · 7th September 2010, 09:31

I got a spam as usual, but this caught my attention. now don't ask me why I read the whole thing. I sometimes send a reply from a non descript ID just to see if I can have an interesting conversation

. Never happened.

Quote:

My client Errol Tahaparij who is a German but Nationalized in Netherland (Holland) and did several business transactions over here in the Uk with different Oil and Gas company based on the nature of his job as a Drilling Contractor died in August 19th 2006 as a result of heart failure.

Two years before his death, he lost his wife to prostate cancer and hirsutism, but was left with (Thirteen Million, Five Hundred Thousand Great British Pounds) of his deceased wife life insurance as the next of kin. Within two years before my client death he had deposited the said amount in an offshore account with a finance company for safe keeping.

svsantosh · 7th September 2010, 21:58

Kid - Teacher, what is Sex?
Teacher - (Confused, still goes ahead), explains all of it... sweating at the end of it
Kid - How do I write all that inside this small box?

SILVERWOOD · 8th September 2010, 13:15

Quote:

Originally Posted by vivekiny2k

I got a spam as usual, but this caught my attention. now don't ask me why I read the whole thing. I sometimes send a reply from a non descript ID just to see if I can have an interesting conversation

. Never happened.

Wow, Prostate cancer. May be he died from Cervical Cancer, not CHF.

deky · 8th September 2010, 13:19

Read on the internet

Quote:

This is Pakistan Radio

Cricket News

Lets start with the results of tomorrows match first

BaCkSeAtDrIVeR · 8th September 2010, 23:51

Quote:

Originally Posted by svsantosh

Kid - Teacher, what is Sex?
Teacher - (Confused, still goes ahead), explains all of it... sweating at the end of it
Kid - How do I write all that inside this small box?

Reminds me of a joke from Readers' Digest.

The kid returns home from first day in school, and parents ask her how the day went.

She bursts out into tears, and says "they gave me an 'F' in sex!!!"

Bubby · 9th September 2010, 13:05

Jaya Lalitha visited a temple and she posed for some photos with elephants.

Next day the photo came in paper...

"Jaya Lalitha" (third from left)

ramzsys · 9th September 2010, 18:42

Actual review of tavera SS D1 by an owner in mouthshut.com:

We purchased CHEVROLET TAVERA SS-D1 2500 cc TURBO for Rs: 10, 22000. On 23/10/2007 . This vehicle has driven for Just 5800 K M Only. We have Never Seen this worst Performance Vehicle in its Class & Lower.

Do you Believe it Or no Driving any Vehicle Will Increase The Pleasure To Drive it But In CHEVROLET TAVERA SS-D1 2500 cc TURBO Vehicle will increases the BLOOD PRESUR thus who drive it .

Just Imagine Even Spending Rs: 10, 22000 for TAVERA SS-D1. Still There r Better Choices like Mahandra’sScorpio is for just 8.5 lac & Tata Safari is for just 7.3 lac & Toyota Innova for 10.4 lac. We went for CHEVROLET TAVERA SS-D1 2500 cc TURBO because we expected something Better than the up mention vehicles.

After Buying this CHEVROLET TAVERA SS-D1 for Rs: 10, 22000 Vehicle all we got is HEDAKE, ANGER HUMAN BEHAVIOR, VIBRATION NOICE, BULLOCAT SMOOTHNESS, WORST PERFOMANCE & PICK UP, and DAINGEROUS DRIVING. The Dam Engine Noise & Vibration is so tourchér that It Sounds Grate Then DVD Player in the Vehicle *(u can feel that u sit on top of GENERAL MOTORS CHEVROLET ENGINE an driving the vehicle)

GENERAL MOTORS CHEVROLET TAVERA SS-D1 2500 cc TURBO Can’t even See the BACK of Scorpio / Tata Safari / Innova. They just pass awayTAVERA SS-D1 like Flash Light.

1. The Engine Noise & Vibration: I promise u even a Gove’t Bus Driver Feel an Sees on his Right Side When we tried to OVER TAKE that bus at 90 Kmph with HAROUSING NOISE from Engine

2. Worst Performance : CHEVROLET TAVERA SS-D1 2500 cc TURBO Engine has to Dye Hard to Reach its Top Speed 90 Kmph On A/C. Pick up is like Bullakat Fitted with 2500 cc Noise Engine( kindly Up Grade CHEVROLET TAVERA SS-D1 by Provide a Rope Tied With a Big Stone So it can be Placed Permanently on axellator Paddle )

3. It’s very hard chase a MARUTHI 800cc Or TATA INDICA 1400 cc (Turbo) on Hi ways. We Can’t even See Their Back, I mean their Back.

4. Worst Millage (7.5 to 9.5 Kmpl ) : for this mileage CHEVROLET TAVERA
SS-D1 2500 cc TURBO CHARGED what we got is does not go above 100 Kmph / A Thunder Noise Engine / A Big Vibe rater 5. Hard Suspension & Noises : in 2nd & 3rd row we can feel like traveling in a lorry

CHEVROLET TAVERA Review, CHEVROLET TAVERA Price, CHEVROLET TAVERA Mileage, CHEVROLET TAVERA Models, CHEVROLET TAVERA India, Dont Buy any things from GM - MouthShut.com

vamsi.kona · 9th September 2010, 18:45

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bubby

Jaya Lalitha visited a temple and she posed for some photos with elephants.

Next day the photo came in paper...

"Jaya Lalitha" (third from left)

I really like these short jokes.

aargee · 9th September 2010, 20:48

I'm sure this is going to make you a smile, no matter you're watching it for nth time. I loved it.
If you've watched this already, watch the so called "baby's" facial expression this time; really awesome!!!

YouTube - maw nad paw kettle math

Bubby · 10th September 2010, 12:38

Eldest Son - Dad meri GF pregnant ho gayi hai.50,000 maang rahi hai chup rehne ke
Dad slaps him n pays him

2 months passed

2nd son - meri Gf pregnant hai & demanding Rs.75,000
Dad slaps & pays him

Aftr 6 months,
Unmarried Daughter - dad Im pregnant
Dad kisses her n said - ab paise lene ki hamari bari hai

abhinav.s · 10th September 2010, 16:23

Quote:

Originally Posted by svsantosh

Kid - Teacher, what is Sex?
Teacher - (Confused, still goes ahead), explains all of it... sweating at the end of it
Kid - How do I write all that inside this small box?

Quote:

Originally Posted by BaCkSeAtDrIVeR

Reminds me of a joke from Readers' Digest.

The kid returns home from first day in school, and parents ask her how the day went.

She bursts out into tears, and says "they gave me an 'F' in sex!!!"

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bubby

Jaya Lalitha visited a temple and she posed for some photos with elephants.

Next day the photo came in paper...

"Jaya Lalitha" (third from left)

Amazing short jokes!! Just loved all of them specially the Jayalalitha one takes the cake

prateekm · 11th September 2010, 02:16

Lamebook rocks

9th September 2010, 18:42	#4330
ramzsys Senior - BHPian Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: NH209 Posts: 1,785 Thanked: 1,467 Times	Actual review of tavera SS D1 by an owner in mouthshut.com: We purchased CHEVROLET TAVERA SS-D1 2500 cc TURBO for Rs: 10, 22000. On 23/10/2007 . This vehicle has driven for Just 5800 K M Only. We have Never Seen this worst Performance Vehicle in its Class & Lower. Do you Believe it Or no Driving any Vehicle Will Increase The Pleasure To Drive it But In CHEVROLET TAVERA SS-D1 2500 cc TURBO Vehicle will increases the BLOOD PRESUR thus who drive it . Just Imagine Even Spending Rs: 10, 22000 for TAVERA SS-D1. Still There r Better Choices like Mahandra’sScorpio is for just 8.5 lac & Tata Safari is for just 7.3 lac & Toyota Innova for 10.4 lac. We went for CHEVROLET TAVERA SS-D1 2500 cc TURBO because we expected something Better than the up mention vehicles. After Buying this CHEVROLET TAVERA SS-D1 for Rs: 10, 22000 Vehicle all we got is HEDAKE, ANGER HUMAN BEHAVIOR, VIBRATION NOICE, BULLOCAT SMOOTHNESS, WORST PERFOMANCE & PICK UP, and DAINGEROUS DRIVING. The Dam Engine Noise & Vibration is so tourchér that It Sounds Grate Then DVD Player in the Vehicle (u can feel that u sit on top of GENERAL MOTORS CHEVROLET ENGINE an driving the vehicle) GENERAL MOTORS CHEVROLET TAVERA SS-D1 2500 cc TURBO Can’t even See the BACK of Scorpio / Tata Safari / Innova. They just pass awayTAVERA SS-D1 like Flash Light. 1. The Engine Noise & Vibration: I promise u even a Gove’t Bus Driver Feel an Sees on his Right Side When we tried to OVER TAKE that bus at 90 Kmph with HAROUSING NOISE from Engine 2. Worst Performance : CHEVROLET TAVERA SS-D1 2500 cc TURBO Engine has to Dye Hard to Reach its Top Speed 90 Kmph On A/C. Pick up is like Bullakat Fitted with 2500 cc Noise Engine( kindly Up Grade CHEVROLET TAVERA SS-D1 by Provide a Rope Tied With a Big Stone So it can be Placed Permanently on axellator Paddle ) 3. It’s very hard chase a MARUTHI 800cc Or TATA INDICA 1400 cc (Turbo) on Hi ways. We Can’t even See Their Back, I mean their Back. 4. Worst Millage (7.5 to 9.5 Kmpl ) : for this mileage CHEVROLET TAVERA SS-D1 2500 cc TURBO CHARGED what we got is does not go above 100 Kmph / A Thunder Noise Engine / A Big Vibe rater 5. Hard Suspension & Noises : in 2nd & 3rd row we can feel like traveling in a lorry CHEVROLET TAVERA Review, CHEVROLET TAVERA Price, CHEVROLET TAVERA Mileage, CHEVROLET TAVERA Models, CHEVROLET TAVERA India, Dont Buy any things from GM - MouthShut.com Last edited by ramzsys : 9th September 2010 at 18:43.*

10th September 2010, 12:38	#4333
Bubby BHPian Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: New Delhi Posts: 503 Thanked: 169 Times	Eldest Son - Dad meri GF pregnant ho gayi hai.50,000 maang rahi hai chup rehne ke Dad slaps him n pays him 2 months passed 2nd son - meri Gf pregnant hai & demanding Rs.75,000 Dad slaps & pays him Aftr 6 months, Unmarried Daughter - dad Im pregnant Dad kisses her n said - ab paise lene ki hamari bari hai Last edited by Bubby : 10th September 2010 at 12:48.

6th September 2010, 20:28	#4322
dark_horizon BHPian Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: mumbai Posts: 78 Thanked: 6 Times	The Vigil Idiot's take on 'We Are Family' Movie Review: We Are Family \| The Vigil Idiot As usual, damn funny & true.

7th September 2010, 21:58	#4325
svsantosh Senior - BHPian Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Dubai Posts: 4,288 Thanked: 8,057 Times View My Garage	Kid - Teacher, what is Sex? Teacher - (Confused, still goes ahead), explains all of it... sweating at the end of it Kid - How do I write all that inside this small box?

9th September 2010, 13:05	#4329
Bubby BHPian Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: New Delhi Posts: 503 Thanked: 169 Times	Jaya Lalitha visited a temple and she posed for some photos with elephants. Next day the photo came in paper... "Jaya Lalitha" (third from left)

11th September 2010, 02:16	#4335
prateekm BHPian Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Mumbai & BLR Posts: 789 Thanked: 555 Times	Lamebook rocks