The Official Joke thread

Jayabusa · 23rd July 2011, 13:53

Why did Ranbeer & Deepika actually break up?

They realised that if Brad Pitt n Angelina were called Brangelina and Abhishek & Aishwarya were called AbhiAsh then these two feared what they would be called!!!!

Scorcher · 23rd July 2011, 17:21

Why Men shouldn't write advice columns

dhanushs · 23rd July 2011, 18:05

Nice one scorcher, but it has been posted before.

http://www.team-bhp.com/forum/shifti...tml#post647745

http://www.team-bhp.com/forum/shifti...ml#post1157067

Jayabusa · 23rd July 2011, 21:09

^^Did this agony uncle thing really happen or was it made-up just for laughs?

oxyzen · 23rd July 2011, 22:02

An elderly gentleman had serious hearing problems for a number of years.
He went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a set of hearing aids that allowed the gentleman to hear 100%.
The elderly gentleman went back in a month to the doctor and the doctor said, "Your hearing is perfect. Your family must be really pleased that you can hear again."
The gentleman replied, "Oh, I havn't told my family yet. I just sit around and listen to the conversations. I've changed my will three times!"

Attending a wedding for the first time, a little girl whispered to her mother, "Why is the bride dressed in white?"
"Because white is the color of happiness and today is the happiest day of her life." Her mother tried to explain, keeping it simple.
The child thought about this for a moment, then said, " So, why is the groom wearing black?"

and the last one
A man dies and goes to hell. There he finds that there is a different hell for each country.
He goes to the German hell and asks, "What do they do here?" He told, "First they put you in an electric chair for An hour. Then they lay you on a bed of nails for another hour. Then The German devil comes in and beats you for the rest of the day."
The man does not like the sound of that at all,so he moves on. He checks out the USA hell as well as the Russian hell and many more. He discovers that they are all more or less the same as the German hell.
Then he comes to the Indian hell and finds that there is a long line of people waiting to get in.
Amazed, he asks, "What do they do here? "He told, "First they put you in an electric chair for an hour. Then they lay you on a bed of nails for another hour. Then the Indian devil comes in and beats you for the rest of the day."
"But that is exactly the same as all the other hells - why are there so many people waiting to get in?"
"Because maintenance is so bad that the electric chair does not work, someone has stolen all the nails from the bed and the devil is a former Govt servant, so he comes in, signs the register and then goes to the canteen!!!!! !

Jayabusa · 23rd July 2011, 22:14

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jayabusa

Revised Superhero names:

Spiderkant
Superkant
Batkant
Ironkant

Quote:

Originally Posted by bantejas

vijaykant has been there for ages anyways

!!

True. And now, after watching the trailer of Singham, I feel like adding Ajaykant to the list.
Not to forget Sal-Man of Wanted, Dabangg and Ready fame.

Jayabusa · 24th July 2011, 13:32

It takes 1 Aishwarya to sell a diamond !! whereas It takes 3 Abhisheks to sell a sim card.. !! What an Idea Sirji..!!

------------------------------------------------------

Joke or fact, you decide.

The beauty of Indian traffic is that,

One has to look on both the sides while crossing a One way road!!!

--------------------------------------------------------------------

This is killer!

Husband comes home early and sees wife with another guy

Wife: Why are you early?

Husband: who is he?!!

Wife: Don't try to change the topic!!!

khoj · 24th July 2011, 14:01

Lord Rama and demon king Ravan were engaged in a very serious battle. Suddenly amidst all the flying arrows, astras and vajras Ravan stopped and said to the lord "I am sorry, I made a mistake please take Sitaji back I promise to be good from now on".

Lord Rama was very surprised and asked "O mighty Ravana you were matching me blow for blow and you sacrificed your near and dear ones on this issue, now what has happened all of a sudden for you to have a change of heart".

Ravan pointed to a person walking up to the lord and said "I did not know that you would call Rajnikant over such a small issue".

bantejas · 25th July 2011, 10:02

When Aryabhatta was counting Rajinikanth's mistakes, he invented "ZERO"!

n_aditya · 25th July 2011, 12:10

Rocking exhaust for stunts.

Source - classifieds on our office intranet.

Jayabusa · 25th July 2011, 14:06

Quote:

Originally Posted by bantejas

When Aryabhatta was counting Rajinikanth's mistakes, he invented "ZERO"!

Was it mistakes or IQ?

mayankk · 25th July 2011, 14:12

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jayabusa

Was it mistakes or IQ?

you will be missed!!!

Rajni watches over everything.

Jayabusa · 25th July 2011, 14:17

^^Oops, my bad. While counting Rajni saar's IQ, 'infinity' was discovered!

Urban_Nomad · 27th July 2011, 19:47

Rajni's back

When Rajnikant was a student, teachers bunked classes

If Rajni would work in a BPO, his clients would do shifts

Rajnikant got 150 questions in exam saying - "solve any 100"
Rajni solved all 150 and wrote - "Rascalla, chek any 100".

Rajni was playing cricket in monsoons. Rain stopped due to play.

All scientists in the world failed to answer this question, but Rajni Deva did:
q) which liquid turns solid on heating.
A) Dosa ........... MIND IT

Rajni gave his photo to be xeroxed. He got two copies of the xerox machine.

THE MOST NEGLECTED FACT OF THE DECADE

Sachin tendulkar's mother's name - Rajni Tendulkar
His coach's name - RamaKant
Nothing further needs to be said.

Sarvodaya · 27th July 2011, 20:06

Specialist in Husband, Wife, Cure of every dieses.....

23rd July 2011, 13:53	#4921
Jayabusa Senior - BHPian Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: Mumbai Posts: 2,447 Thanked: 68 Times	Re: The Official Joke thread Why did Ranbeer & Deepika actually break up? They realised that if Brad Pitt n Angelina were called Brangelina and Abhishek & Aishwarya were called AbhiAsh then these two feared what they would be called!!!!

23rd July 2011, 17:21	#4922
Scorcher Senior - BHPian Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: Trivandrum, KL Posts: 4,893 Thanked: 6,681 Times	Re: The Official Joke thread Why Men shouldn't write advice columns Attached Images

23rd July 2011, 18:05	#4923
dhanushs Distinguished - BHPian Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: Bathery/BLR Posts: 3,885 Thanked: 7,421 Times View My Garage	Re: The Official Joke thread Nice one scorcher, but it has been posted before. http://www.team-bhp.com/forum/shifti...tml#post647745 http://www.team-bhp.com/forum/shifti...ml#post1157067

23rd July 2011, 21:09	#4924
Jayabusa Senior - BHPian Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: Mumbai Posts: 2,447 Thanked: 68 Times	Re: The Official Joke thread ^^Did this agony uncle thing really happen or was it made-up just for laughs?

23rd July 2011, 22:02	#4925
oxyzen Senior - BHPian Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: Not fixed. Posts: 1,048 Thanked: 387 Times	Re: The Official Joke thread An elderly gentleman had serious hearing problems for a number of years. He went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a set of hearing aids that allowed the gentleman to hear 100%. The elderly gentleman went back in a month to the doctor and the doctor said, "Your hearing is perfect. Your family must be really pleased that you can hear again." The gentleman replied, "Oh, I havn't told my family yet. I just sit around and listen to the conversations. I've changed my will three times!" Attending a wedding for the first time, a little girl whispered to her mother, "Why is the bride dressed in white?" "Because white is the color of happiness and today is the happiest day of her life." Her mother tried to explain, keeping it simple. The child thought about this for a moment, then said, " So, why is the groom wearing black?" and the last one A man dies and goes to hell. There he finds that there is a different hell for each country. He goes to the German hell and asks, "What do they do here?" He told, "First they put you in an electric chair for An hour. Then they lay you on a bed of nails for another hour. Then The German devil comes in and beats you for the rest of the day." The man does not like the sound of that at all,so he moves on. He checks out the USA hell as well as the Russian hell and many more. He discovers that they are all more or less the same as the German hell. Then he comes to the Indian hell and finds that there is a long line of people waiting to get in. Amazed, he asks, "What do they do here? "He told, "First they put you in an electric chair for an hour. Then they lay you on a bed of nails for another hour. Then the Indian devil comes in and beats you for the rest of the day." "But that is exactly the same as all the other hells - why are there so many people waiting to get in?" "Because maintenance is so bad that the electric chair does not work, someone has stolen all the nails from the bed and the devil is a former Govt servant, so he comes in, signs the register and then goes to the canteen!!!!! ! Last edited by oxyzen : 23rd July 2011 at 22:18.

24th July 2011, 13:32	#4927
Jayabusa Senior - BHPian Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: Mumbai Posts: 2,447 Thanked: 68 Times	Re: The Official Joke thread It takes 1 Aishwarya to sell a diamond !! whereas It takes 3 Abhisheks to sell a sim card.. !! What an Idea Sirji..!! ------------------------------------------------------ Joke or fact, you decide. The beauty of Indian traffic is that, One has to look on both the sides while crossing a One way road!!! -------------------------------------------------------------------- This is killer! Husband comes home early and sees wife with another guy Wife: Why are you early? Husband: who is he?!! Wife: Don't try to change the topic!!! Last edited by Jayabusa : 24th July 2011 at 13:54.

24th July 2011, 14:01	#4928
khoj Senior - BHPian Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: Dilli Posts: 2,718 Thanked: 1,268 Times View My Garage	Re: The Official Joke thread Lord Rama and demon king Ravan were engaged in a very serious battle. Suddenly amidst all the flying arrows, astras and vajras Ravan stopped and said to the lord "I am sorry, I made a mistake please take Sitaji back I promise to be good from now on". Lord Rama was very surprised and asked "O mighty Ravana you were matching me blow for blow and you sacrificed your near and dear ones on this issue, now what has happened all of a sudden for you to have a change of heart". Ravan pointed to a person walking up to the lord and said "I did not know that you would call Rajnikant over such a small issue".

25th July 2011, 10:02	#4929
bantejas BHPian Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: Bangalore Posts: 273 Thanked: 29 Times	Re: The Official Joke thread When Aryabhatta was counting Rajinikanth's mistakes, he invented "ZERO"!

25th July 2011, 12:10	#4930
n_aditya Senior - BHPian Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: Namma Bengaluru Posts: 5,224 Thanked: 2,842 Times View My Garage	Re: The Official Joke thread Rocking exhaust for stunts. Source - classifieds on our office intranet. Attached Thumbnails Last edited by n_aditya : 27th July 2011 at 10:04.

25th July 2011, 14:17	#4933
Jayabusa Senior - BHPian Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: Mumbai Posts: 2,447 Thanked: 68 Times	Re: The Official Joke thread ^^Oops, my bad. While counting Rajni saar's IQ, 'infinity' was discovered! Last edited by Jayabusa : 25th July 2011 at 14:20.

27th July 2011, 19:47	#4934
Urban_Nomad Senior - BHPian Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: Delhi Posts: 1,535 Thanked: 1,985 Times	Re: The Official Joke thread *Rajni's back* When Rajnikant was a student, teachers bunked classes If Rajni would work in a BPO, his clients would do shifts Rajnikant got 150 questions in exam saying - "solve any 100" Rajni solved all 150 and wrote - "Rascalla, chek any 100". Rajni was playing cricket in monsoons. Rain stopped due to play. All scientists in the world failed to answer this question, but Rajni Deva did: q) which liquid turns solid on heating. A) Dosa ........... MIND IT Rajni gave his photo to be xeroxed. He got two copies of the xerox machine. THE MOST NEGLECTED FACT OF THE DECADE Sachin tendulkar's mother's name - Rajni Tendulkar His coach's name - RamaKant Nothing further needs to be said.

27th July 2011, 20:06	#4935
Sarvodaya BHPian Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: Bangalore Posts: 419 Thanked: 411 Times	Re: The Official Joke thread Specialist in Husband, Wife, Cure of every dieses..... Attached Thumbnails

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