An elderly gentleman had serious hearing problems for a number of years.
He went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a set of hearing aids that allowed the gentleman to hear 100%.
The elderly gentleman went back in a month to the doctor and the doctor said, "Your hearing is perfect. Your family must be really pleased that you can hear again."
The gentleman replied, "Oh, I havn't told my family yet. I just sit around and listen to the conversations. I've changed my will three times!"
Attending a wedding for the first time, a little girl whispered to her mother, "Why is the bride dressed in white?"
"Because white is the color of happiness and today is the happiest day of her life." Her mother tried to explain, keeping it simple.
The child thought about this for a moment, then said, " So, why is the groom wearing black?"
and the last one
A man dies and goes to hell. There he finds that there is a different hell for each country.
He goes to the German hell and asks, "What do they do here?" He told, "First they put you in an electric chair for An hour. Then they lay you on a bed of nails for another hour. Then The German devil comes in and beats you for the rest of the day."
The man does not like the sound of that at all,so he moves on. He checks out the USA hell as well as the Russian hell and many more. He discovers that they are all more or less the same as the German hell.
Then he comes to the Indian hell and finds that there is a long line of people waiting to get in.
Amazed, he asks, "What do they do here? "He told, "First they put you in an electric chair for an hour. Then they lay you on a bed of nails for another hour. Then the Indian devil comes in and beats you for the rest of the day."
"But that is exactly the same as all the other hells - why are there so many people waiting to get in?"
"Because maintenance is so bad that the electric chair does not work, someone has stolen all the nails from the bed and the devil is a former Govt servant, so he comes in, signs the register and then goes to the canteen!!!!! !
Lord Rama and demon king Ravan were engaged in a very serious battle. Suddenly amidst all the flying arrows, astras and vajras Ravan stopped and said to the lord "I am sorry, I made a mistake please take Sitaji back I promise to be good from now on".
Lord Rama was very surprised and asked "O mighty Ravana you were matching me blow for blow and you sacrificed your near and dear ones on this issue, now what has happened all of a sudden for you to have a change of heart".
Ravan pointed to a person walking up to the lord and said "I did not know that you would call Rajnikant over such a small issue".