The Official Joke thread

Rehaan · 15th April 2009, 12:02

Quote:

Originally Posted by SumitBahl

Looks like someone is using a content rewriter to create original content.

I love the random mention of crapper and lavatory!

Unbelievable that this actually made it online.

cya
R

Bubby · 20th April 2009, 10:15

Buffalo par bhaithe ek jaat ko TRAFFIC police ne rok ke poochaa : Aap ka helmet kahan hai? Fine lagega.
Jaat : Re baawale, dhayaan se dekh Neeche, 4-wheeler hai !

sjcherian · 21st April 2009, 09:30

I saw a new Scorpio MHawk last evening with a huge red sticker on the front windscreen which was I am sure was meant to indicate "King" in Hindi . Looks like there was a transliteration problem and the word spelled out in English shows up as "Badushah" which is a sad round sweet instead of "Badshah".

DriverR · 23rd April 2009, 09:11

A true enthusiast or..

Spitfire · 23rd April 2009, 09:18

Errr... didnt you get pics of the front?

rahulsingh007 · 23rd April 2009, 09:25

Why do skodas have a rear wash wipe ?
........To remove the flies that crash into them

How do you double the value of a Skoda ?
Fill the tank !

Why does a Skoda have a double rear window heater ?
To keep everyones hands warm when they are pushing it !

What do you call a skoda driver who say's he has a speeding ticket ????
A Dreamer.

I had to part with my skoda as it was costing to much,
I was only doing 10 miles to every pair of trainers!!

These jokes aren't to be taken seriously as if you are a skoda driver you have bought a very ... umm... practical car. These jokes represent the old skoda and by no way the new improved version of our favorite brand.

DriverR · 23rd April 2009, 09:28

Quote:

Originally Posted by Spitfire

Errr... didnt you get pics of the front?

Well, I did not click the pic.

Got it in my mails. But even then, going by the back, the front may be too risque to post here!

travelwriter · 23rd April 2009, 10:24

Youngsters nowadays are unbelievable, brash, ill-mannered and downright rude. They have no respect for customs.

The other day, I was at the temple and the pujari brought out the aarti, a young lad of about 20 lit his cigarette from the aarti flame!!

I was so shocked, my beer bottle almost slipped from my hand.

These youngsters, I say!

ajmat · 23rd April 2009, 10:42

A monk was driving in India when suddenly a dog crossed the road. The car hit and killed the dog. The monk looked around and seeing a temple, went to knock on the door. A monk opened the door. The first monk said: "I'm terribly sorry, but my karma ran over your dogma."

* "What are you doing today, oh mother of my children?" queries papa Ji. "Well," replies mum Ji, "I think I'll get some chores out of the way, like marrying off your son!" "What a great idea," agrees dad. "You do that while I wash the cars!"

* Santa Singh decided to start a chicken farm so he bought 100 chickens from a dealer. A month later he returned to the dealer for another 100 because all of the first lot had died. A month later he was back to the dealer for another hundred after the second lot had also died. The dealer asked: "What happened to the other chickens?" "I don't know," said the man, "maybe I'm planting them too deep."

* After making a trip to south India, Santa Singh, his wife and son were returning to Punjab by Tamilnadu Express. Santa Singh was occupying the lower berth, his wife the middle berth and his son the top-most berth in the train. When the train stopped at a station the son asked his father for some ice cream. When they returned they saw that a south Indian who couldn't understand Hindi had occupied his son's berth. Outraged, Santa Singh called the inspector and asked him to help. The inspector said he couldn't understand Hindi so it would be better if Santa explained the whole situation in English. Santa said: "That man sleeping on top of my wife is not giving berth to my children."

BenjiRoss · 23rd April 2009, 12:44

Got this as an email forward

George Phillips, an elderly man, from Meridian, Mississippi, was going up to bed, when his wife told him that he'd left the light on in the garden shed, which she could see from the bedroom window. George opened the back door to go turn off the light, but saw that there were people in the shed stealing things.

He phoned the police, who asked "Is someone in your house?"

He said "No," but some people are breaking into my garden shed and stealing from me.

Then the police dispatcher said "All patrols are busy. You should lock your doors and an officer will be along when one is available."

George said, "Okay." He hung up the phone and counted to 30.

Then he phoned the police again.

"Hello, I just called you a few seconds ago because there were people stealing things from my shed. Well, you don't have to worry about them now because I just shot them." and he hung up..

Within five minutes, six Police Cars, a SWAT Team, a Helicopter, two Fire Trucks, a Paramedic, and an Ambulance showed up at the Phillips' residence, and caught the burglars red-handed.

One of the Policemen said to George, "I thought you said that you'd shot them!"

George said, "I thought you said there was nobody available!"

Don't mess with old people

NetfreakBombay · 23rd April 2009, 14:19

I think this Article from Economics times homepage fits this thread :

http://hindi.economictimes.indiatime...id-4436922.cms

DriverR · 23rd April 2009, 16:19

For those who has difficulty reading hindi (like me), here is Netfreak's article post in English : Ways to deal with annoying bosses

NetfreakBombay · 23rd April 2009, 16:36

Actually English version of this article is okay.

its Hindi translation that belongs to this thread

Hindi translation translated to English :

"An animal, named boss can be found in many colors and shapes.."

rupinder · 25th April 2009, 01:36

Picture on the Nightstand
After a long night of making love, he notices a photo of another man on her nightstand bed. He immediately begins to worry.

"Is this your husband?" he nervously asks.
"No, silly." She replies, snuggling up to him.

"Your boyfriend than?" he continues.
"Not at all." She says nibbling on his ear.

"Is it your dad or your brother?" he inquires hoping to be reassured.

"No, no, no!!!" she answers.

"Well then who in the Hell is it?" he demands.
"That's me before my surgery."

A Pennsylvania State Trooper pulled a car over on I-81 about two miles north of the PA/MD state line. When the trooper asked the driver why he was speeding, the driver answered that he was a magician and a juggler, and he was on his way to Harrisburg to do a show that night at the Zembo Shrine Circus and didn't want to be late.

The trooper told the driver he was fascinated by juggling, and if the driver would do a little juggling for him, he would not give him a ticket.

The driver told the trooper that he had sent all of his equipment on ahead and didn't have anything to juggle.

The trooper told him that he had some flares in the trunk of his patrol car and asked if he could juggle them.

The juggler stated that he could, so the trooper got three flares, lit them and handed them to the juggler.

While the man was doing his juggling act, a car pulled in behind the patrol car, a drunk got out, and watched the performance briefly.

He then staggered over to the patrol car, opened the rear door and got in. The trooper observed him doing this and went over to the patrol car, opened the door, and asked the drunk what he thought he was doing.

The drunk replied, "You might as well take my *** to jail, cause there's no way in the world I can pass that test."

X-Machine · 25th April 2009, 03:08

A series of pics i got in mail.

23rd April 2009, 09:11	#3559
DriverR BHPian Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: Hyderabad Posts: 415 Thanked: 526 Times	A true enthusiast or.. Attached Thumbnails

23rd April 2009, 12:44	#3565
BenjiRoss Senior - BHPian Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: Tamilnadu Posts: 1,070 Thanked: 1,335 Times	How To Call The Police When You're Old And Don't Move Fast Anymore Got this as an email forward George Phillips, an elderly man, from Meridian, Mississippi, was going up to bed, when his wife told him that he'd left the light on in the garden shed, which she could see from the bedroom window. George opened the back door to go turn off the light, but saw that there were people in the shed stealing things. He phoned the police, who asked "Is someone in your house?" He said "No," but some people are breaking into my garden shed and stealing from me. Then the police dispatcher said "All patrols are busy. You should lock your doors and an officer will be along when one is available." George said, "Okay." He hung up the phone and counted to 30. Then he phoned the police again. "Hello, I just called you a few seconds ago because there were people stealing things from my shed. Well, you don't have to worry about them now because I just shot them." and he hung up.. Within five minutes, six Police Cars, a SWAT Team, a Helicopter, two Fire Trucks, a Paramedic, and an Ambulance showed up at the Phillips' residence, and caught the burglars red-handed. One of the Policemen said to George, "I thought you said that you'd shot them!" George said, "I thought you said there was nobody available!" Don't mess with old people Last edited by BenjiRoss : 23rd April 2009 at 12:45.

25th April 2009, 01:36	#3569
rupinder BHPian Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: ludhiana Posts: 197 Thanked: 5 Times	Picture on the Nightstand After a long night of making love, he notices a photo of another man on her nightstand bed. He immediately begins to worry. "Is this your husband?" he nervously asks. "No, silly." She replies, snuggling up to him. "Your boyfriend than?" he continues. "Not at all." She says nibbling on his ear. "Is it your dad or your brother?" he inquires hoping to be reassured. "No, no, no!!!" she answers. "Well then who in the Hell is it?" he demands. "That's me before my surgery." A Pennsylvania State Trooper pulled a car over on I-81 about two miles north of the PA/MD state line. When the trooper asked the driver why he was speeding, the driver answered that he was a magician and a juggler, and he was on his way to Harrisburg to do a show that night at the Zembo Shrine Circus and didn't want to be late. The trooper told the driver he was fascinated by juggling, and if the driver would do a little juggling for him, he would not give him a ticket. The driver told the trooper that he had sent all of his equipment on ahead and didn't have anything to juggle. The trooper told him that he had some flares in the trunk of his patrol car and asked if he could juggle them. The juggler stated that he could, so the trooper got three flares, lit them and handed them to the juggler. While the man was doing his juggling act, a car pulled in behind the patrol car, a drunk got out, and watched the performance briefly. He then staggered over to the patrol car, opened the rear door and got in. The trooper observed him doing this and went over to the patrol car, opened the door, and asked the drunk what he thought he was doing. The drunk replied, "You might as well take my *** to jail, cause there's no way in the world I can pass that test." Last edited by rupinder : 25th April 2009 at 01:37.

25th April 2009, 03:08	#3570
X-Machine Senior - BHPian Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: Mumbai/Tokyo Posts: 1,475 Thanked: 29 Times	A series of pics i got in mail. Attached Thumbnails Attached Images

20th April 2009, 10:15	#3557
Bubby BHPian Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: New Delhi Posts: 503 Thanked: 169 Times	Buffalo par bhaithe ek jaat ko TRAFFIC police ne rok ke poochaa : Aap ka helmet kahan hai? Fine lagega. Jaat : Re baawale, dhayaan se dekh Neeche, 4-wheeler hai !

21st April 2009, 09:30	#3558
sjcherian BHPian Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Chennai Posts: 493 Thanked: 588 Times	I saw a new Scorpio MHawk last evening with a huge red sticker on the front windscreen which was I am sure was meant to indicate "King" in Hindi . Looks like there was a transliteration problem and the word spelled out in English shows up as "Badushah" which is a sad round sweet instead of "Badshah".

23rd April 2009, 09:18	#3560
Spitfire BANNED Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Panaji - Goa/Bangalore - Karnataka Posts: 3,313 Thanked: 778 Times	Errr... didnt you get pics of the front?

23rd April 2009, 09:25	#3561
rahulsingh007 BHPian Join Date: May 2008 Location: Amritsar Posts: 163 Thanked: 44 Times	Why do skodas have a rear wash wipe ? ........To remove the flies that crash into them How do you double the value of a Skoda ? Fill the tank ! Why does a Skoda have a double rear window heater ? To keep everyones hands warm when they are pushing it ! What do you call a skoda driver who say's he has a speeding ticket ???? A Dreamer. I had to part with my skoda as it was costing to much, I was only doing 10 miles to every pair of trainers!! These jokes aren't to be taken seriously as if you are a skoda driver you have bought a very ... umm... practical car. These jokes represent the old skoda and by no way the new improved version of our favorite brand.

23rd April 2009, 10:24	#3563
travelwriter BHPian Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: Hyderabad Posts: 302 Thanked: 120 Times	Youngsters nowadays are unbelievable, brash, ill-mannered and downright rude. They have no respect for customs. The other day, I was at the temple and the pujari brought out the aarti, a young lad of about 20 lit his cigarette from the aarti flame!! I was so shocked, my beer bottle almost slipped from my hand. These youngsters, I say!

23rd April 2009, 10:42	#3564
ajmat Team-BHP Support Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: Bangalore Posts: 15,194 Thanked: 31,420 Times View My Garage	A monk was driving in India when suddenly a dog crossed the road. The car hit and killed the dog. The monk looked around and seeing a temple, went to knock on the door. A monk opened the door. The first monk said: "I'm terribly sorry, but my karma ran over your dogma." * "What are you doing today, oh mother of my children?" queries papa Ji. "Well," replies mum Ji, "I think I'll get some chores out of the way, like marrying off your son!" "What a great idea," agrees dad. "You do that while I wash the cars!" * Santa Singh decided to start a chicken farm so he bought 100 chickens from a dealer. A month later he returned to the dealer for another 100 because all of the first lot had died. A month later he was back to the dealer for another hundred after the second lot had also died. The dealer asked: "What happened to the other chickens?" "I don't know," said the man, "maybe I'm planting them too deep." * After making a trip to south India, Santa Singh, his wife and son were returning to Punjab by Tamilnadu Express. Santa Singh was occupying the lower berth, his wife the middle berth and his son the top-most berth in the train. When the train stopped at a station the son asked his father for some ice cream. When they returned they saw that a south Indian who couldn't understand Hindi had occupied his son's berth. Outraged, Santa Singh called the inspector and asked him to help. The inspector said he couldn't understand Hindi so it would be better if Santa explained the whole situation in English. Santa said: "That man sleeping on top of my wife is not giving berth to my children."

23rd April 2009, 14:19	#3566
NetfreakBombay Senior - BHPian Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: Bombay Posts: 1,481 Thanked: 1,130 Times	I think this Article from Economics times homepage fits this thread : http://hindi.economictimes.indiatime...id-4436922.cms

23rd April 2009, 16:19	#3567
DriverR BHPian Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: Hyderabad Posts: 415 Thanked: 526 Times	For those who has difficulty reading hindi (like me), here is Netfreak's article post in English : Ways to deal with annoying bosses

23rd April 2009, 16:36	#3568
NetfreakBombay Senior - BHPian Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: Bombay Posts: 1,481 Thanked: 1,130 Times	Actually English version of this article is okay. its Hindi translation that belongs to this thread Hindi translation translated to English : "An animal, named boss can be found in many colors and shapes.."