***
INFOSYSism: You have 1,000 poor cows. You put them on a nice campus, and send them one at a time to the US for milking.
PATNIism: You have 10 cows. You make them work so that they give milk of 100 cows.
WIPROism: GE has a cow. You take 49% of the milk.
RELIANCEism: You don’t yet have a cow. You sell empty cans to people for Rs. 501, because
Dhirubhai wanted everyone to have milk.
TATAism: You have a very old cow. You re-brand it as Tata Indicow.
***
DELLism: Intel has a goat. Samsung has a camel. Buy milk from both and sell it as cow’s milk.
IBMism: You have old stubborn cows. You sell them as pet dogs to innocent small businessmen.
MICROSOFTism: You have a cow. Force the world to buy milk from you. Spend a million dollars to feed poorer cows.
SUNism: You have a bull. It doesn’t give milk. You hate Microsoft.
ORACLEism: You have a cow. You don’t know which side to milk, so you sell tools to help milk cows.
SAPism: You don’t have a cow You sell milking solutions for cows implemented by milking consultants.
APPLEism: You have a cow. You sell iMilk.
HPism: You don’t know if what you have is a cow. You sell complete milking solutions through authorised resellers only.
*** SONYism: You have a cow. You spend $50 mn to develop the world’s thinnest milk.
GEism: You have a donkey. People think you have a 100-year-old cow. If someone finds out, that’s his imagination at work.
CITIBANKism: Welcome to Citibank. If you have a cow, press 1. If you have a bull, press 2. Stay on line if you’d like our customer care to milk it for you.
Quote:
Originally Posted by haryan TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM:
You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.
You sell them and retire on the income.
AN AMERICAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows.
You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.
You are surprised when the cow drops dead.
A SOUTH AFRICAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows.
You go on strike because you want three cows.
A JAPANESE CORPORATION:
You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.
you then create clever cow cartoon images called Cowkimon and
market them world-wide.
A GERMAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows.
You reengineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.
A BRITISH CORPORATION:
You have two cows.
Both are mad.
AN ITALIAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows, but you don't know where they are.
You break for lunch.
A RUSSIAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows.
You count them and learn you have five cows.
You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
You count them again and learn you have 12 cows.
You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.
A SWISS CORPORATION:
You have 5000 cows, none of which belong to you.
You charge others for storing them.
A HINDU CORPORATION:
You have two cows.
You worship them.
A CHINESE CORPORATION:
You have two cows.
You have 300 people milking them.
You claim full employment, high bovine productivity, and arrest the newsman who reported the numbers.
AN ISRAELI CORPORATION:
So, there are these two Jewish cows, right?
They open a milk factory, an ice cream store, and then sell the movie rights. They send their calves to Harvard to become doctors. So, who needs people?
A CANADIAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows.
You sell one, buy some potatoes and beer. Have a Bar-B-Q.
AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows.
That one on the left is kinda cute... |