[Deep Blue]

Comment from my six year old while waiting for the school van in the morning " I think these days, God forgets to put off the AC"

[RavenAvi]

My lovely little "Pari" the day she was born -






And a few days later -



We have decided to name her Isha.

[mannubhai]

Took some time to land here. But whatta thread.

To Intro, I have 2 kids. My Barbie girl is 8 yrs old now. and my Chotta Bheem is 3 .

Has been an exciting journey.

A little old snap of my kids packed up for a trip

[mayankjha1806]

Recently i read through the book (Outliers: The Story of Success is a non-fiction book written by Malcolm Gladwell) and was wondering about what is been stated in the book, and how much of it is applicable.

Now being a parent and that too of a child born in September, its always a cat and mouse game to go to the grade above or below (the age bar). Now i am no expert but have mixed bag feelings about the success of this in reality (Atleast in India).

So what we do is constantly watch her progress, and she well up with the class in terms of academics and every PTM we get to know she is faring well. but recently we meet someone who believes academics should not be a criteria in deciding if the grade is right for the child, the social skills are important as well.

Now we know she is playful with her friends in her class who are either a few months to ~1year older then her and has good friends in her class, but we cannot judge if she is really feeling social difficulty in class (Not that we have been told of any).

What do other parents think about this? Any experience to share? Any signs that i should look at? Any pointers? in short any idea that you could share will help. Thanks

PS: There are too many questions floating in the head hence forgot to add some context for folks who have not read the book. In short the question is "Is it better for the kid to be a year behind or a year ahead"? I hope i phrased it rightly.

[mayankjha1806]

Gladwell's research points why a disproportionate number of elite Canadian hockey players are born in the first few months of the calendar year. The answer, he points out, is that since youth hockey leagues determine eligibility by calendar year, children born on January 1 play in the same league as those born on December 31 in the same year. Because children born earlier in the year are bigger and maturer than their younger competitors, they are often identified as better athletes, leading to extra coaching and a higher likelihood of being selected for elite hockey leagues. This phenomenon in which "the rich get richer and the poor get poorer" is dubbed "accumulative advantage" by Gladwell.

Now i quoted what the book has to say from Wikipedia, just to get more clarity as to what i am trying to point to.

In India the session starts in June and parents of kids born Aug/Sept/Oct face this dilemma as to which grade the child should be put into with kids born in June or earlier (In which case they are few months to 8 months younger) or with kids born in June next year (In which case they are 5-9 months elder then the rest).

Now the point of contention is how me as a parent figure out what is right and not to stress out the child and make the whole process exciting, interesting and painless for them.

What i have been following is keep up with her academic, physical and social progress as compared to her peers in the class. In all these parameters i do not see her struggling one bit but still the thought is lingering on as to am i doing the right thing or would it be better to go a grade down and give her even more breather and easy going.

The opposite side of me tells me that having a year advantage will always help when she is of the age where in she would like to take a break form studies for whatever reasons (like we used to do to get into engineering and medical) - a legacy thought process i must add.

[ghodlur]

During my recent visit to PTA meet at my son's school, I asked my son if he is aware of the emergency exits in the school. My son wore this perplexed look on his face. So I decided to ask his teacher if they conduct any drills and to my horror the teacher was totally ignorant of the exits herself. Decided to accost the Principal with the situation, who unfortunately was unavailable that day. Immediately shot off a letter to the Principal asking for explanations. Got a call from the gentlemen after couple of days assuring that the drill procedure will be in place in a fortnights time. Such Negligence. Any BHPians have enquired at their wards schools for the emergency drill or any procedure in place?

[powertrain]

Presenting Aaditya !!
Born - 06/05/2011

The day he was born, with my sis -


@ 4 months!!


The apple of my parents eyes!!


You've heard of Lalbaugh ka Raja, here's Ghar ka Raja !!


Maa da Laadla !


Like Father like Son


P.S - Thank you GTO for directing me to the right thread!!
Regards
Varun

[BANDHAV]

I love documenting my Daughter with a lots of photographs, she is 2.4 years old. Here is a picture of her on her very first day of school going.

[SPEEDY_RACER]

Now time for me to Post.

Presenting my Son Saketh(Born on 7-Sept-2011)

unfortunately after 1 month later i came to resume my job and missing him a lot.. travelling back to India to get him Back with me(because of the weather here its -10).

[mav2000]

My son is now 4 and was born in the same hospital as your son. (Made out from the photo). At that time the name was different. I must say, one of the best maternity hospitals in bangalore, though they charge and arm and a leg.

My son is the only grandson between my in laws and my parents. Basically, since my parents and me live in the same house and my in laws stay in the same city as well, thats a complete recipe to spoil the child, right there.

As he is getting older and more stubborn (and naughty) I have been running out of ideas to keep him in check. I am not too bothered about him being naughty, as that's normal, but stubbornness, specially for eating food and drinking milk was something that we have been trying to get in control for a while now.

I tried forcing him, shouting and everything else, but it works only for a few days.

After speaking to a few friends, we came up with a plan. First, all gifts from in laws and parents and family have been stopped. Then I gave him an "incentive plan".

For every morning, afternoon, evening and night that he is a good boy, he gets one coin. So four coins a day. If he is very good for the whole day, then 5 coins. I got him a small piggy bank, where he can keep his coins.

At the end of the week, I take him to a mall and buy him a gift. Usually, it costs me around 400-700 bucks as I kind of tell him that the more expensive things are out of "his" budget, as he was not a good boy for the whole week. This makes him try harder to be good the following week.

BTW, he cant make out the difference in coins yet, so I give him whatever is lying around and he puts it in his piggy bank. He is more interested in the number of coins and not the value of each coin...I sometimes even give him the foreign currency coins that are lying around, which no one takes back anyway.

I have been doing this for 3 weeks now with awesome improvement after the first week. Once he "bought" his first gift, he's really excited to get his coins every night, before going to sleep.

I hope that as he gets older, this will also teach him something about money and savings.

I hope this helps some of you.

[ZedMae]

Originally Posted by mav2000

My son is now 4 and was born in the same hospital as your son. (Made out from the photo).
.............
I have been doing this for 3 weeks now with awesome improvement after the first week. Once he "bought" his first gift, he's really excited to get his coins every night, before going to sleep.

I hope that as he gets older, this will also teach him something about money and savings.

I hope this helps some of you.

Hi, I guess positive reinforcement (that you are doing now) is something that is favoured compared to punishment. But on a different note, would this make the kid (and when he/ she becomes an adult) look out for incentives for whatever they do. Nothing wrong in expecting incentives as such, but sometimes i feel incentives should not be the sole driving factor for one's actions.

cheers

[mav2000]

Originally Posted by ZedMae

Hi, I guess positive reinforcement (that you are doing now) is something that is favoured compared to punishment. But on a different note, would this make the kid (and when he/ she becomes an adult) look out for incentives for whatever they do. Nothing wrong in expecting incentives as such, but sometimes i feel incentives should not be the sole driving factor for one's actions.

cheers

Well, I need to tackle one issue at a time. Bringing up kids is probably the most difficult thing that any person has to do, and also one full of joy and happiness. But, getting back to the topic, its a way to reinforce the fact that good behavior will be rewarded.

[Maverick1977]

Hey I never stumbled across this thread. Its going to be great to interact with all U guys. I have been blessed with 2 children - a boy who would turn 4 shortly (15th April 2008) and a girl who will turn 1 again very shortly (2nd April 2011). I am very proud of the fact that my daughter was born on the same day that India won the world cup after a super long time. This is one fact that I will cherish for long.
I was very afraid how my son would react to a new born since he had received immense attention for one and all in the family. After all he was the 1st child for families on both sides. However much to our amazement till now he seems to have taken well. A big thanks also goes to one of my colleague who had advised me that one of us always has to be with my son and we (wifey & me) should alternate between both our kids which simply meant that both of us should not be playing with the younger one at the same time. I feel this seems to have worked since neither seems to feel being left out.
As far as life is concerned its gone upside down - we are a nuclear family & support from our respective parents is quite less. They stay just 20 km from our house but then travelling in Mumbai even that distance is a pain for them. However we make it a point to get together every weekend or at least once every month.
I have not gone through the complete thread, may do so today evening. Is there any Pediac on this thread whom would be kind enough to answer some basic queries?
More later!!!!

[mayankjha1806]

Originally Posted by mav2000

I tried forcing him, shouting and everything else, but it works only for a few days.

After speaking to a few friends, we came up with a plan. First, all gifts from in laws and parents and family have been stopped. Then I gave him an "incentive plan".

I think what you are doing is perfectly fine, there is a time in the growing years when kids do become stubborn and as you rightly discovered shouting/yelling will never work and punishment is a very short sighted solution and soon will stop working.

Don't worry about him looking for incentives after doing good work, its perfectly fine.

Earlier we had incentives for our daughter finishing food, once that became a habit we moved onto something else.

Also what you rightly did was "No Chocolates" for incentives, only coins. Which is perfect, healthy and inculcates habit of saving as well.

[kippu]

Originally Posted by mayankjha1806

Gladwell's research points why a disproportionate number of elite Canadian hockey players are born in the first few months of the calendar year. The answer, he points out, is that since youth hockey leagues determine eligibility by calendar year, children born on January 1 play in the same league as those born on December 31 in the same year. Because children born earlier in the year are bigger and maturer than their younger competitors, they are often identified as better athletes, leading to extra coaching and a higher likelihood of being selected for elite hockey leagues. This phenomenon in which "the rich get richer and the poor get poorer" is dubbed "accumulative advantage" by Gladwell.

Now i quoted what the book has to say from Wikipedia, just to get more clarity as to what i am trying to point to.

In India the session starts in June and parents of kids born Aug/Sept/Oct face this dilemma as to which grade the child should be put into with kids born in June or earlier (In which case they are few months to 8 months younger) or with kids born in June next year (In which case they are 5-9 months elder then the rest).

Now the point of contention is how me as a parent figure out what is right and not to stress out the child and make the whole process exciting, interesting and painless for them.

What i have been following is keep up with her academic, physical and social progress as compared to her peers in the class. In all these parameters i do not see her struggling one bit but still the thought is lingering on as to am i doing the right thing or would it be better to go a grade down and give her even more breather and easy going.
.

been going over the same dilemma with my 2.3 year old and more or less my mind is made up to go for 3.5 years to LKG , because all the CBSE schools stipulate the same , so there being no other choice made my decision easier anyway and to add to this i feel 2.5 years is just too young to send to school