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Old 28th October 2015, 20:29   #9211
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This is a fact (borrowed from LinkedIn) - not a joke!

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A fitting reply to a candidate who reached the depths of trying to bulls**t/bribe a prospective employer!

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Old 28th October 2015, 20:34   #9212
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Originally Posted by cpbopanna View Post
This is a fact (borrowed from LinkedIn) - not a joke!

A fitting reply to a candidate who reached the depths of trying to bulls**t/bribe a prospective employer!
The vast majority of not-even-to-be-interviewed job applications don't even get a response. Maybe they felt they should send the fiver back.
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Old 29th October 2015, 07:15   #9213
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Pulsar Sports Sedan for sale.
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Old 30th October 2015, 13:09   #9214
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Originally Posted by Aditya View Post
Official statement from Volkswagen India:
Quote:
Volkswagen Group India representatives have met Government of India – Ministry of Heavy Industries and ARAI today, on 29th October 2015 and have updated them on the evaluations so far on the ongoing emissions issue with reference to India.

Since there is a complex combination of several brands, various models, different engine variants and gearboxes as well as different model years that need to be analysed, establishing detailed facts is taking a longer time.

Volkswagen Group India will present its results from the evaluations by the end of November 2015. During this period, the company representatives will stay in regular touch with ARAI to keep the authorities updated on the analysis. The next steps will depend on the findings from these evaluations.

Meanwhile, Volkswagen Group India would like to assure that all vehicles in the customers’ hands remain technically safe and roadworthy.
COTD: Comment of the Day
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Ah, the art of writing 150 words and yet saying nothing at all in an era of communicating in 140 characters!
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Old 31st October 2015, 16:28   #9215
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Hope I would not be condored

A woman went on vacation, leaving her husband behind. Before she left, she told him to take extra special care of her cat.

The next day she called her husband and asked if the cat was all right.
Her husband said: The cat just died.

She burst into tears and said: How could you be so blunt? Why couldn't you have broken the news gradually!

Today, you could have said that it was playing on the roof; tomorrow, you could have said that it fell off and had broken its leg; then on the third day, you could have said that the poor thing had passed away in the night. You could have been more sensitive about the whole thing.

By the way, how is my mom?

Husband: She is playing on the roof.

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Old 2nd November 2015, 13:01   #9216
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Some opinions in the VW thread suggests we could plant some trees to compensate for the damage to the environment from VW engines.

I couldn't help but chuckle at this thought of the future VW.
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Old 2nd November 2015, 14:54   #9217
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A Satire Article from The Unreal Times - Source: Car Driver actually pushes traffic in front by honking 1875 times.

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In an incident bordering on the miraculous, a cab driver stuck in a traffic jam was actually able to displace a Tata Nano stranded in front by 0.5 meters by honking incessantly.Mr Balraam Jat, the driver behind the wheels, shed more light on what is now being regarded of one of the most astounding feats of the 21st century. “I was at IFFCO Chowk’s red light during peak rush hour, as usual moving at snail’s pace and breathing fumes,” Jat recalled. “Now usually, I honk 5-10 times, mainly to let off some steam but this time my stereo broke down so I decided to blow the horn on the tune of the last song I was listening to (Aunty police bula legi). Of course, I was only expecting the Nano in front of me to honk back but lo and behold, the vehicle in from actually gave way by 0.5 meters!!! It was so unbelievable.”
We don’t have only Jat’s word for it. Out of work actor Tarun who was filming a social documentary on beggars going about their business amidst struck vehicles managed to digitally capture the miraculous sequence of events for posterity.
Analysis of the footage empirically confirms the hypothesis that if one honks incessantly, varying the frequency while doing so, vehicles in front can give way and decongest the roads. It also vindicates Indian drivers who for long have been ridiculed for honking needlessly. They are on to something after all. Now it’s only a matter of sharpening their skills in the matter of honking incessantly and varying the frequency while doing so. Many International universities have already lined up to give Balram Jat an honorary PhD, though he is only 8th pass.
The Traffic commissioner of the NCR regions spoke to us over phone and said that they are already discussing the application of this seminal discovery on decongesting roads in Delhi. Meanwhile CEO of Asli Apple Ms. Lena Soundjaanleva has claimed that they have already patented this technology and are planning to launch killer apps based on it. For instance, commuters struggling to cramp into crowded Mumbai locals can now make their commutes not just comfortable but luxurious by taking recourse to the techniques discovered by Balraam Jaat and patented by Asli Apple.
Ms Soundjaanleva also added that PM has also shown interest in this product as it has the potential of giving the push required to the files gathering dust in government offices.
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Old 4th November 2015, 15:37   #9218
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Ha.ha. Trying to add his share to the woes!
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Old 4th November 2015, 21:10   #9219
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This defines "what the heck did I just read?? "
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Old 5th November 2015, 00:36   #9220
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Spotted this on youtube. Rushed straight to share it where it belongs.
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Old 8th November 2015, 03:03   #9221
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Talking Re: The Official Joke thread

Got from Facebook wall

The Official Joke thread-4-tbhp.png

Cheers!
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Old 10th November 2015, 11:23   #9222
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Ebay seller honestly mentioning that he is selling for more than the MRP!
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A couple of months ago I saw this on Amazon - a generous discount of Rs. 1/- on the OnePlus One phone (this was just prior to the OnePlus Two release:
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Old 10th November 2015, 11:26   #9223
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Source & Credit - CarThrottle.com



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Old 10th November 2015, 11:54   #9224
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This one is absolute reality!
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Old 10th November 2015, 14:24   #9225
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Got this as a whatsapp forward:

"People who own a Volkswagen should refrain from bursting crackers this Diwali, as you have already exhausted your quota of polluting the environment "
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