The Official Joke thread

car_crazy1400 · 1st September 2007, 09:12

Presenting the Desi Simpsons (Singhsons)- too funny!

Mods please delete if already posted.
ImageShack - Hosting :: thesinghsonsev6.swf

pawan · 2nd September 2007, 16:56

Quote:

"A unique story on the CBC website details an even more unusual conflict. A Chinese Shaolin temple has demanded an apology from 'an Internet user who claimed a Japanese ninja beat its kung fu-practicing monks in a showdown.' A letter from the members of the temple, posted on the Internet on Thursday, denied the fight ever took place and called on the person who posted the claim under the name "Five minutes every day" to apologize to the temple's martial arts masters. Monks from the temple, which is located in the Songshan Mountain region of the Henan province, said they will consider legal action if he or she doesn't make a public apology."

its just to damm funny.
click on the link .

hkanitkar · 2nd September 2007, 21:48

Poultry farm ke malik ne tammam Murgiyon ko Order diya :
"Agar tum sab ne kal se 2 -- 2 ande nahi diye to kal se tumhara dana pani band "

Murgiya dar gayi ....sab ne do do ande diye magar ek ne sirf ek anda diya "

Malik : "tum ne 1 anda hi kyon diya "
Jawab mila : "Sir ye aapke dar ki wajah se diya hai waise main to Murga hoon"

theMAG · 2nd September 2007, 22:41

Quote:

Originally Posted by car_crazy1400

Presenting the Desi Simpsons (Singhsons)- too funny!

Mods please delete if already posted.
ImageShack - Hosting :: thesinghsonsev6.swf

Awesome man. Hilarious stuff!

condor · 3rd September 2007, 21:10

What say, Sam ?

iraghava · 3rd September 2007, 23:46

Four friends, who hadn't seen each other in 30 years, reunited at a party. After several drinks, one of the men had to use the rest room.

Those who remained talked about their kids.

The first guy said, "My son is my pride and joy. He started working at a successful company at the bottom of the barrel. He studied Economics and Business Administration and soon began to climb the corporate ladder and now he's the president of the company. He became so rich that he gave his best friend a top of the line Mercedes for his birthday."

The second guy said, "Darn, that's terrific! My son is also my pride and joy. He started working for a big airline company, then went to flight school to become a pilot. Eventually he became a partner in the company, where he owns the majority of its assets. He's so rich that he gave his best friend a brand new jet for his birthday."

The third man said: "Well, that's terrific! My son studied in the best Universities and became an engineer. Then he started his own construction company and is now a multimillionaire. He also gave away something very nice and expensive to his best friend for his birthday: A 30,000 square foot mansion."

The three friends congratulated each other just as the fourth returned from the restroom and asked: "What are all the congratulations for?"

One of the three said: "We were talking about the pride we feel for the Successes of our sons. ..What about your son?"

The fourth man replied: "My son is gay and makes a living dancing as a stripper at a nightclub."

The three friends said: "What a shame...What a disappointment."

The fourth man replied: "No, I'm not ashamed. He's my son and I love him. And he hasn't done too bad either. His birthday was two weeks ago, and he received a beautiful 30,000 square foot mansion, a brand new jet and a top of the line Mercedes from his three boyfriends."

n_aditya · 4th September 2007, 10:55

That was hilarious Ishan.

DerAlte · 4th September 2007, 12:53

Quote:

Originally Posted by condor

What say, Sam ?

@Condor-anna, where is this? Is that the 'new' Sound Factor?

Vid6639 · 4th September 2007, 13:41

Quote:

Originally Posted by DerAlte

@Condor-anna, where is this? Is that the 'new' Sound Factor?

Yup sure is. with the CCD above it. I think Sam you should take over the CCD and have it inside the store itself.

hkanitkar · 7th September 2007, 11:35

Tiger Woods pulls up to a gas station in his Jaguar and gets out to fill up his tank.

An Irishman walks up to Tiger and asks him how he managed to get the car...Tiger says he earned it by working really hard.

The Irishman, being quite forward, asks Tiger what else he has in his pocket besides his car keys. Tiger says that he has some tees in his pocket. The Irishman, asks him what the tees are for. Tiger says the tees are to hold his b***s while he is driving.

The Irishman, quite impressed, says "You Americans think of everything!!"

benbsb29 · 7th September 2007, 13:39

As usual, i dont know if this has been on this thread already.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Bill Gates organised an enormous session to recruit a new Chairman for Microsoft Europt. 5000 candidates assembled in a large room. One candidate is Kunju Abdullah, an Indian guy.

Bill Gates thanked all the candidates for coming and asking those who do not know JAVA program to leave.2000 people leave the room. Kunju says to himself, "I do not know JAVA but I have nothing to lose if I stay. I'll give it a try"

Bill Gates asked the candidates who never had experience of managing more than 100 people to leave. 2000 people leave the room. Kunju says to himself " I never managed anybody by myself but I have nothing to lose if I stay. What can happen to me?" So he stays.

Then Bill Gates asked candidates who do not have management diplomas to leave. 500 people leave the room. Kunju says to himself, "I left school at 15 but what have I got to lose?" So he stays in the room.

Lastly, Bill Gates asked the candidates who do not speak Serbo - Croat to leave. 498 people leave the room.

Kunju says to himself, " I do not speak one word of Serbo - Croat but what do I have to lose?" So he stays and finds himself with one other candidate. Everyone else has gone.

Bill Gates joined them and said "Apparently you are the only two candidates who speak Serbo - Croat, so I'd now like to hear you have a conversation together in that language."

Calmly, Kunj turns to the other candidate and says "Entha Sugham alle" ( How are you ? [ in Malayalam])

The other candidate answers "Nee Poda Pulle" ( You get lost ! [ in Malayalam])

n_aditya · 7th September 2007, 13:49

1. George Bush was having visitors to the white house and they were ushered in by his assistant.

Asst: Mr. President, I now introduce you to the Bates family.

This Sir, is Mr. Bates ; his wife, Mrs. Bates ; His pretty young daughter Miss Bates and his son, Master Bates.

Bush walks up to the young fella and says :

Stop it. Its a bad habit.

2. A pretty young thing (PYT) was very interested in touring the enormous white house. She managed to finally get an invite and was overjoyed when Clinton, the president then, was taking her around.

When they reached the oval office,

Clinton: Do u want to see the grandfather clock?

PYT: Yes, of course. I'd be delighted.

Clinton, strips off his pants and jockies much to the shock of the PYT.

PYT: what are you doing?

Clinton: Well this is the grandfather clock. You put 2 hands and a face to it.. it becomes a clock.

moralfibre · 8th September 2007, 07:54

Any networking guys around:

typeOnegative · 8th September 2007, 18:53

5 routers, 5 switches. ROTFLMAO.

Vid6639 · 10th September 2007, 16:14

YouTube - Miss Teen USA 2007 - South Carolina answers a question

Someone should ask her that question as well. lol. hilarious.

2nd September 2007, 21:48	#2238
hkanitkar BHPian Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: pune Posts: 668 Thanked: 110 Times View My Garage	Performance Pressure Poultry farm ke malik ne tammam Murgiyon ko Order diya : "Agar tum sab ne kal se 2 -- 2 ande nahi diye to kal se tumhara dana pani band " Murgiya dar gayi ....sab ne do do ande diye magar ek ne sirf ek anda diya " Malik : "tum ne 1 anda hi kyon diya " Jawab mila : "Sir ye aapke dar ki wajah se diya hai waise main to Murga hoon"

3rd September 2007, 21:10	#2240
condor Distinguished - BHPian Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: Speed-brkr City Posts: 16,220 Thanked: 16,755 Times View My Garage	New Service in Town What say, Sam ? Last edited by condor : 3rd September 2007 at 21:13.

3rd September 2007, 23:46	#2241
iraghava Senior - BHPian Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: Bhaiyyaland Posts: 8,033 Thanked: 281 Times View My Garage	That's My Boy! Four friends, who hadn't seen each other in 30 years, reunited at a party. After several drinks, one of the men had to use the rest room. Those who remained talked about their kids. The first guy said, "My son is my pride and joy. He started working at a successful company at the bottom of the barrel. He studied Economics and Business Administration and soon began to climb the corporate ladder and now he's the president of the company. He became so rich that he gave his best friend a top of the line Mercedes for his birthday." The second guy said, "Darn, that's terrific! My son is also my pride and joy. He started working for a big airline company, then went to flight school to become a pilot. Eventually he became a partner in the company, where he owns the majority of its assets. He's so rich that he gave his best friend a brand new jet for his birthday." The third man said: "Well, that's terrific! My son studied in the best Universities and became an engineer. Then he started his own construction company and is now a multimillionaire. He also gave away something very nice and expensive to his best friend for his birthday: A 30,000 square foot mansion." The three friends congratulated each other just as the fourth returned from the restroom and asked: "What are all the congratulations for?" One of the three said: "We were talking about the pride we feel for the Successes of our sons. ..What about your son?" The fourth man replied: "My son is gay and makes a living dancing as a stripper at a nightclub." The three friends said: "What a shame...What a disappointment." The fourth man replied: "No, I'm not ashamed. He's my son and I love him. And he hasn't done too bad either. His birthday was two weeks ago, and he received a beautiful 30,000 square foot mansion, a brand new jet and a top of the line Mercedes from his three boyfriends."

1st September 2007, 09:12	#2236
car_crazy1400 BHPian Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: DL/UP16/PB10 Posts: 657 Thanked: 352 Times	Presenting the Desi Simpsons (Singhsons)- too funny! Mods please delete if already posted. ImageShack - Hosting :: thesinghsonsev6.swf

4th September 2007, 10:55	#2242
n_aditya Senior - BHPian Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: Namma Bengaluru Posts: 5,374 Thanked: 3,805 Times View My Garage	That was hilarious Ishan.

7th September 2007, 11:35	#2245
hkanitkar BHPian Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: pune Posts: 668 Thanked: 110 Times View My Garage	Tiger Woods pulls up to a gas station in his Jaguar and gets out to fill up his tank. An Irishman walks up to Tiger and asks him how he managed to get the car...Tiger says he earned it by working really hard. The Irishman, being quite forward, asks Tiger what else he has in his pocket besides his car keys. Tiger says that he has some tees in his pocket. The Irishman, asks him what the tees are for. Tiger says the tees are to hold his b***s while he is driving. The Irishman, quite impressed, says "You Americans think of everything!!"

7th September 2007, 13:39	#2246
benbsb29 Team-BHP Support Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Brisbane Posts: 10,094 Thanked: 14,121 Times View My Garage	As usual, i dont know if this has been on this thread already. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Bill Gates organised an enormous session to recruit a new Chairman for Microsoft Europt. 5000 candidates assembled in a large room. One candidate is Kunju Abdullah, an Indian guy. Bill Gates thanked all the candidates for coming and asking those who do not know JAVA program to leave.2000 people leave the room. Kunju says to himself, "I do not know JAVA but I have nothing to lose if I stay. I'll give it a try" Bill Gates asked the candidates who never had experience of managing more than 100 people to leave. 2000 people leave the room. Kunju says to himself " I never managed anybody by myself but I have nothing to lose if I stay. What can happen to me?" So he stays. Then Bill Gates asked candidates who do not have management diplomas to leave. 500 people leave the room. Kunju says to himself, "I left school at 15 but what have I got to lose?" So he stays in the room. Lastly, Bill Gates asked the candidates who do not speak Serbo - Croat to leave. 498 people leave the room. Kunju says to himself, " I do not speak one word of Serbo - Croat but what do I have to lose?" So he stays and finds himself with one other candidate. Everyone else has gone. Bill Gates joined them and said "Apparently you are the only two candidates who speak Serbo - Croat, so I'd now like to hear you have a conversation together in that language." Calmly, Kunj turns to the other candidate and says "Entha Sugham alle" ( How are you ? [ in Malayalam]) The other candidate answers "Nee Poda Pulle" ( You get lost ! [ in Malayalam])

7th September 2007, 13:49	#2247
n_aditya Senior - BHPian Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: Namma Bengaluru Posts: 5,374 Thanked: 3,805 Times View My Garage	1. George Bush was having visitors to the white house and they were ushered in by his assistant. Asst: Mr. President, I now introduce you to the Bates family. This Sir, is Mr. Bates ; his wife, Mrs. Bates ; His pretty young daughter Miss Bates and his son, Master Bates. Bush walks up to the young fella and says : Stop it. Its a bad habit. 2. A pretty young thing (PYT) was very interested in touring the enormous white house. She managed to finally get an invite and was overjoyed when Clinton, the president then, was taking her around. When they reached the oval office, Clinton: Do u want to see the grandfather clock? PYT: Yes, of course. I'd be delighted. Clinton, strips off his pants and jockies much to the shock of the PYT. PYT: what are you doing? Clinton: Well this is the grandfather clock. You put 2 hands and a face to it.. it becomes a clock.

8th September 2007, 07:54	#2248
moralfibre Team-BHP Support Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: MH-12 Posts: 8,526 Thanked: 14,194 Times	Any networking guys around:

8th September 2007, 18:53	#2249
typeOnegative Senior - BHPian Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: Vikhroli, Mumbai, India Posts: 1,503 Thanked: 28 Times	5 routers, 5 switches. ROTFLMAO.

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