The Official Joke thread

Gansan · 26th February 2013, 13:19

Marion: (Tending to an inured and tired Jones) "Indy, you are not the same man I knew ten years ago".

Indiana Jones: "It's not the years,honey; it's the mileage!"

Saw "Raiders of the lost Ark" in HBO last night!

Harrison Ford rocks!

BuildUpGypsy · 27th February 2013, 23:27

This is not a joke. I saw this in a Tavera. Never seen before.

The Official Joke thread-20032011458.jpg

myavu · 28th February 2013, 02:42

From Facebook Wall

Cheers!

Vinu

Biraj · 28th February 2013, 14:54

Mods: I found this funny so posting it in jokes thread, just in case somebody finds informational value in this then it can be moved to the real-estate thread

What all can one do post retirement? If this website and associated reports are to be believed then

Quote:

The Formula One legend, Michael Schumacher, presents Limited Edition condominiums which are not just ultra-luxuriant but also more than perfect in all aspects of living.

Yes, Michael Schumacher is launching residential project in Gurgaon along with a London based developer.

more information here http://schumacherworldtower.com/

car-dent · 28th February 2013, 15:12

Quote:

Originally Posted by BuildUpGypsy

This is not a joke. I saw this in a Tavera. Never seen before.
Attachment 1056550

It is found on aftermarket plain mirrors. we have one on our SX4.

Warwithwheels · 1st March 2013, 20:56

Quite an interesting charter

Found this on a matrimonial site!

Alfa Romeo · 1st March 2013, 21:19

Quote:

Originally Posted by car-dent

It is found on aftermarket plain mirrors. we have one on our SX4.

Maybe that's due to the one which used to appear in cars before "objects in mirror are closer than they appear"

zeri · 2nd March 2013, 00:02

found this on facebook

mooza · 2nd March 2013, 09:17

^^ I am looking to replace the vanity mirror for the front co-passenger seat (behind the top sun flap) with a mirror which says:

"THE OBJECT IN THE MIRROR IS ACTUALLY FATTER THAN IT APPEARS"

This is to prevent the incessant use of the vanity mirror by my partner while I am driving, and thereby I can avoid getting distracted / having my left side view blocked.

Please help in case there is something available !

richie4u · 2nd March 2013, 14:18

Received this as an email.

TAX STRUCTURE IN INDIA

1) What r u doing?
Ans. : Business
Tax :PAY PROFESSIONAL TAX!

2) What r u doing in Business?
Ans. : Selling the Goods.
Tax : PAY SALES TAX!!

3) From where r u getting Goods?
Ans. : From other State/Abroad
Tax : PAY CENTRAL SALES TAX, CUSTOM DUTY & OCTROI!

4) What r u getting in Selling Goods?
Ans. : Profit
Tax : PAY INCOME TAX!

How do you distribute profit ?
Ans : By way of dividend
Tax : Pay dividend distribution Tax

5) Where u Manufacturing the Goods?
Ans. : Factory
Tax : PAY EXCISE DUTY!

6) Do u have Office / Warehouse/ Factory?
Ans. : Yes
Tax : PAY MUNICIPAL & FIRE TAX!

7) Do you have Staff?
Ans. : Yes
Tax : PAY STAFF PROFESSIONAL TAX!

8) Doing business in Millions?
Ans. : Yes
Tax : PAY TURNOVER TAX!
Ans : No
Tax : Then pay Minimum Alternate Tax

9) r u taking out over 25,000 Cash from Bank?
Ans. : Yes, for Salary.
Tax : PAY CASH HANDLING TAX!

10) Where r u taking your client for Lunch & Dinner?
Ans. : Hotel
Tax : PAY FOOD & ENTERTAINMENT TAX!

11) r u going Out of Station for Business?
Ans. : Yes
Tax : PAY FRINGE BENEFIT TAX!

12) Have u taken or given any Services?
Ans. : Yes
Tax : PAY SERVICE TAX!

13) How come u got such a Big Amount?
Ans. : Gift on birthday
Tax : PAY GIFT TAX!

14) Do u have any Wealth?
Ans. : Yes
Tax : PAY WEALTH TAX!

15) To reduce Tension, for entertainment, where are you going?
Ans. : Cinema or Resort
Tax : PAY ENTERTAINMENT TAX!

16) Have u purchased House?
Ans. : Yes
Tax : PAY STAMP DUTY & REGISTRATION FEE !

17) How u Travel?
Ans. : Bus
Tax : PAY SURCHARGE!

18) Any Additional Tax?
Ans. : Yes
Tax : PAY EDUCATIONAL, ADDITIONAL EDUCATIONAL & SURCHARGE ON ALL THE CENTRAL GOVT.'s TAX !!!

19) Delayed any time Paying Any Tax?
Ans. : Yes
Tax : PAY INTEREST & PENALTY!

20) INDIAN :: can i die now??
Ans :: wait we are about to launch the funeral tax!!

Samurai · 2nd March 2013, 16:50

Quote:

Originally Posted by richie4u

Received this as an email.

TAX STRUCTURE IN INDIA

1) What r u doing?
Ans. : Business
Tax :PAY PROFESSIONAL TAX!
.
.
.
20) INDIAN :: can i die now??
Ans :: wait we are about to launch the funeral tax!!

If the answer to the first question is...

1) What are you doing?
Ans: I am a politician.
Tax: Heh, heh, sorry to bother you. Next!

akshay4587 · 2nd March 2013, 21:01

Not sure if this has been put up earlier

Scorcher · 8th March 2013, 13:28

I think the pic would speak for itself

Warwithwheels · 8th March 2013, 13:54

Quote:

Originally Posted by Scorcher

I think the pic would speak for itself

And you did not take note of it while creating your handle in 2009

IronH4WK · 8th March 2013, 14:11

Quote:

Originally Posted by Scorcher

I think the pic would speak for itself

what are you upset about? You got followers

26th February 2013, 13:19	#7696
Gansan Senior - BHPian Join Date: May 2009 Location: Chennai Posts: 4,425 Thanked: 4,933 Times	Re: The Official Joke thread Marion: (Tending to an inured and tired Jones) "Indy, you are not the same man I knew ten years ago". Indiana Jones: "It's not the years,honey; it's the mileage!" Saw "Raiders of the lost Ark" in HBO last night! Harrison Ford rocks!

27th February 2013, 23:27	#7697
BuildUpGypsy BHPian Join Date: Jan 2013 Location: Trivandrum Posts: 46 Thanked: 51 Times	Re: The Official Joke thread This is not a joke. I saw this in a Tavera. Never seen before.

28th February 2013, 02:42	#7698
myavu Senior - BHPian Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: Delhi - Kochi Posts: 1,472 Thanked: 1,574 Times	Re: The Official Joke thread From Facebook Wall Cheers! Vinu

1st March 2013, 20:56	#7701
Warwithwheels Senior - BHPian Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: India Posts: 1,348 Thanked: 1,738 Times	Re: The Official Joke thread Quite an interesting charter Found this on a matrimonial site!

2nd March 2013, 00:02	#7703
zeri Newbie Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: kottayam Posts: 14 Thanked: 18 Times	Re: The Official Joke thread found this on facebook Attached Thumbnails

2nd March 2013, 09:17	#7704
mooza Senior - BHPian Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: Bangalore Posts: 1,095 Thanked: 363 Times	Re: The Official Joke thread ^^ I am looking to replace the vanity mirror for the front co-passenger seat (behind the top sun flap) with a mirror which says: "THE OBJECT IN THE MIRROR IS ACTUALLY FATTER THAN IT APPEARS" This is to prevent the incessant use of the vanity mirror by my partner while I am driving, and thereby I can avoid getting distracted / having my left side view blocked. Please help in case there is something available !

2nd March 2013, 14:18	#7705
richie4u BHPian Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Goa Posts: 612 Thanked: 394 Times View My Garage	Re: The Official Joke thread Received this as an email. TAX STRUCTURE IN INDIA 1) What r u doing? Ans. : Business Tax :PAY PROFESSIONAL TAX! 2) What r u doing in Business? Ans. : Selling the Goods. Tax : PAY SALES TAX!! 3) From where r u getting Goods? Ans. : From other State/Abroad Tax : PAY CENTRAL SALES TAX, CUSTOM DUTY & OCTROI! 4) What r u getting in Selling Goods? Ans. : Profit Tax : PAY INCOME TAX! How do you distribute profit ? Ans : By way of dividend Tax : Pay dividend distribution Tax 5) Where u Manufacturing the Goods? Ans. : Factory Tax : PAY EXCISE DUTY! 6) Do u have Office / Warehouse/ Factory? Ans. : Yes Tax : PAY MUNICIPAL & FIRE TAX! 7) Do you have Staff? Ans. : Yes Tax : PAY STAFF PROFESSIONAL TAX! 8) Doing business in Millions? Ans. : Yes Tax : PAY TURNOVER TAX! Ans : No Tax : Then pay Minimum Alternate Tax 9) r u taking out over 25,000 Cash from Bank? Ans. : Yes, for Salary. Tax : PAY CASH HANDLING TAX! 10) Where r u taking your client for Lunch & Dinner? Ans. : Hotel Tax : PAY FOOD & ENTERTAINMENT TAX! 11) r u going Out of Station for Business? Ans. : Yes Tax : PAY FRINGE BENEFIT TAX! 12) Have u taken or given any Services? Ans. : Yes Tax : PAY SERVICE TAX! 13) How come u got such a Big Amount? Ans. : Gift on birthday Tax : PAY GIFT TAX! 14) Do u have any Wealth? Ans. : Yes Tax : PAY WEALTH TAX! 15) To reduce Tension, for entertainment, where are you going? Ans. : Cinema or Resort Tax : PAY ENTERTAINMENT TAX! 16) Have u purchased House? Ans. : Yes Tax : PAY STAMP DUTY & REGISTRATION FEE ! 17) How u Travel? Ans. : Bus Tax : PAY SURCHARGE! 18) Any Additional Tax? Ans. : Yes Tax : PAY EDUCATIONAL, ADDITIONAL EDUCATIONAL & SURCHARGE ON ALL THE CENTRAL GOVT.'s TAX !!! 19) Delayed any time Paying Any Tax? Ans. : Yes Tax : PAY INTEREST & PENALTY! 20) INDIAN :: can i die now?? Ans :: wait we are about to launch the funeral tax!!

2nd March 2013, 21:01	#7707
akshay4587 Senior - BHPian Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: Chandigarh/Mohali/Ambala Cantt Posts: 4,151 Thanked: 4,502 Times View My Garage	Re: The Official Joke thread Not sure if this has been put up earlier Attached Thumbnails

8th March 2013, 13:28	#7708
Scorcher Senior - BHPian Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: Trivandrum, KL Posts: 4,914 Thanked: 7,076 Times	Re: The Official Joke thread I think the pic would speak for itself Attached Thumbnails

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