The Official Joke thread

FuelInjector · 22nd July 2015, 18:24

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gannu_1

So true!

Hillarious. was reminded of another tweet that was making round. that was absolutely hilarious as well

Wifi went down for 5 minutes, I had to talk to my family. They seem like nice people.

mallumowgli · 23rd July 2015, 12:01

From the New Thar website

Apparently only the CRDE Thar comes with a steering wheel and gear knob. DI Thar doesn't need one!!!

poised2drive · 23rd July 2015, 12:52

Quote:

Originally Posted by mallumowgli

From the New Thar website

Apparently only the CRDE Thar comes with a steering wheel and gear knob. DI Thar doesn't need one!!!

Attachment 1394690

may be its not just autogear but autodrive too

speedmiester · 23rd July 2015, 14:48

A man gets a text from his neighbour.

"I am so sorry Bob. I've been riddled with guilt and I have to confess. I have been tapping your wife, day and night when you're not around. In fact, more than you. I'm not getting any at home, but that's no excuse. I can no longer live with the guilt and I hope you will accept my sincerest apology with my promise that it won't happen again."

The man, anguished and betrayed, went into his bedroom, grabbed his gun, and without a word, shot his wife and killed her.

A few moments later, a second text came in:

Damned autocorrect. I meant "WIFI"", not "wife".

skdking · 23rd July 2015, 15:07

Here is to all us stupid parents.

Parents ask the watchman: "Is this a good college?"
Watchman: "Bahut badhia.....

I did my engineering here and got campus placement."

Parents have not recovered till the reports last received.

speedmiester · 23rd July 2015, 15:14

Married men can relate to this:

Female astronaut:

- Houston, we have a problem
- Copy, what's the problem?
- Nothing...
- What's the problem?
- Just... Forget about it...
- Repeat, what's the problem?
- NOTHING!... You should know......

IronH4WK · 23rd July 2015, 15:27

Quote:

Originally Posted by speedmiester

Damned autocorrect. I meant "WIFI"", not "wife".

i bet it was an iPhone!

Quote:

Originally Posted by speedmiester

Married men can relate to this:

Female astronaut:

- Houston, we have a problem
- Copy, what's the problem?
- Nothing...
- What's the problem?
- Just... Forget about it...
- Repeat, what's the problem?
- NOTHING!... You should know......

aaaah..! we've been there, haven't we

Octane_Power · 24th July 2015, 10:52

Quote:

Originally Posted by GJ01

Out here in Gujarat they have a name for Audi's - They are called "Bangdi wali gaadi".
Translated: The car with Bangles

Being a gujju myself, the actual version is "chaar bangdi" Have myself heard a diamond merchant say this.

Transalation: Four Bangles(car).

-Bhargav

W.A.G.7 · 25th July 2015, 23:42

Quote:

Originally Posted by Octane_Power

Being a gujju myself, the actual version is "chaar bangdi" Have myself heard a diamond merchant say this.

Transalation: Four Bangles(car).

-Bhargav

similar to the chaar bangdi version, there is also a Marathi version of this - "chaar bhingri waali gadi" !! I have also heard my gardener say this!

vinay kamath · 26th July 2015, 15:55

All RD, Jawa & Bullet enthusiasts will agree

rajeev k · 29th July 2015, 20:22

Airbag for a two wheeler!!

IronH4WK · 29th July 2015, 23:13

Quote:

Originally Posted by rajeev k

Airbag for a two wheeler!!

aren't airbags supposed to be in the front? this seems more like cushion for the bum

vinay kamath · 30th July 2015, 07:12

a prank/conning email, titled "My Last Wish", received by me today

"Greetings to you my dear friend,

Here writes Tina Wilcox, suffering from cancerous ailment. I am married to Engineer James Wilcox an Englishman who is dead. My husband was into private practice all his life before his death. Our life together as man and wife lasted for three decades without child. My husband died after a protracted illness. My husband and I made a vow to uplift the down-trodden and the less-privileged individuals as he had passion for persons who can not help themselves due to physical disability or financial predicament. I can adduce this to the fact that he needed a Child from this relationship, which never came.

When my late husband was alive he deposited the sum of £3,800.000.00 Great Britain Pounds Sterling which were derived from his vast estates and investment in capital market with his bank. Presently, the money is with a Security company. Recently, my Doctor told me that I have limited days to live due to the cancerous problems I am suffering from. Though what bothers me most is the stroke that I have in addition to the cancer. With this hard reality that has befallen my family, and me I have decided to donate this fund to you and want you to use this gift which comes from my husbands effort to fund the upkeep of widows, widowers, orphans, destitute, the down-trodden, physically challenged children, barren-women and persons who prove to be genuinely handicapped financially.

It is often said that blessed is the hand that giveth. I took this decision because I do not have any child that will inherit this money and my husband relatives are bourgeois and very wealthy persons and I do not want my husband’s hard earned money to be misused or invested into ill perceived ventures. I do not want a situation where this money will be used in an ungodly manner, hence the reason for taking this bold decision. I am not afraid of death hence I know where I am going. I know that I am going to be with the Almighty when I eventually pass on. The Almighty will fight my case and I shall hold my peace.

As soon as I receive your response I shall give you vital information and contact of the security company.My happiness is that I lived a life worthy of emulation. Please always be prayerful all through your life. Please assure me that you will act just as I have stated herein.

Regards,
Tina Wilcox "

sudev · 30th July 2015, 09:24

Tina seems such genuine and caring person. 😅

adrian · 30th July 2015, 10:16

Quote:

Originally Posted by vinay kamath

Regards,
Tina Wilcox "

Actually her name is "Tina will coax"

23rd July 2015, 12:01	#9047
mallumowgli Senior - BHPian Join Date: Apr 2010 Location: Palakkad/Coimbatore Posts: 1,226 Thanked: 1,079 Times	Re: The Official Joke thread From the New Thar website Apparently only the CRDE Thar comes with a steering wheel and gear knob. DI Thar doesn't need one!!!

23rd July 2015, 14:48	#9049
speedmiester Senior - BHPian Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: bangalore Posts: 2,387 Thanked: 6,630 Times	Re: The Official Joke thread A man gets a text from his neighbour. "I am so sorry Bob. I've been riddled with guilt and I have to confess. I have been tapping your wife, day and night when you're not around. In fact, more than you. I'm not getting any at home, but that's no excuse. I can no longer live with the guilt and I hope you will accept my sincerest apology with my promise that it won't happen again." The man, anguished and betrayed, went into his bedroom, grabbed his gun, and without a word, shot his wife and killed her. A few moments later, a second text came in: Damned autocorrect. I meant "WIFI"", not "wife".

23rd July 2015, 15:07	#9050
skdking BHPian Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Delhi Cantt Posts: 548 Thanked: 201 Times	Re: The Official Joke thread Here is to all us stupid parents. Parents ask the watchman: "Is this a good college?" Watchman: "Bahut badhia..... I did my engineering here and got campus placement." Parents have not recovered till the reports last received.

23rd July 2015, 15:14	#9051
speedmiester Senior - BHPian Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: bangalore Posts: 2,387 Thanked: 6,630 Times	Re: The Official Joke thread Married men can relate to this: Female astronaut: - Houston, we have a problem - Copy, what's the problem? - Nothing... - What's the problem? - Just... Forget about it... - Repeat, what's the problem? - NOTHING!... You should know......

26th July 2015, 15:55	#9055
vinay kamath Senior - BHPian Join Date: Mar 2011 Location: MUMBAIBANGALORE Posts: 1,348 Thanked: 1,851 Times	Re: The Official Joke thread All RD, Jawa & Bullet enthusiasts will agree Attached Thumbnails

29th July 2015, 20:22	#9056
rajeev k Senior - BHPian Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: Emerging Metro Posts: 3,352 Thanked: 1,947 Times	Re: The Official Joke thread Airbag for a two wheeler!! Attached Thumbnails

30th July 2015, 07:12	#9058
vinay kamath Senior - BHPian Join Date: Mar 2011 Location: MUMBAIBANGALORE Posts: 1,348 Thanked: 1,851 Times	Re: The Official Joke thread a prank/conning email, titled "My Last Wish", received by me today "Greetings to you my dear friend, Here writes Tina Wilcox, suffering from cancerous ailment. I am married to Engineer James Wilcox an Englishman who is dead. My husband was into private practice all his life before his death. Our life together as man and wife lasted for three decades without child. My husband died after a protracted illness. My husband and I made a vow to uplift the down-trodden and the less-privileged individuals as he had passion for persons who can not help themselves due to physical disability or financial predicament. I can adduce this to the fact that he needed a Child from this relationship, which never came. When my late husband was alive he deposited the sum of £3,800.000.00 Great Britain Pounds Sterling which were derived from his vast estates and investment in capital market with his bank. Presently, the money is with a Security company. Recently, my Doctor told me that I have limited days to live due to the cancerous problems I am suffering from. Though what bothers me most is the stroke that I have in addition to the cancer. With this hard reality that has befallen my family, and me I have decided to donate this fund to you and want you to use this gift which comes from my husbands effort to fund the upkeep of widows, widowers, orphans, destitute, the down-trodden, physically challenged children, barren-women and persons who prove to be genuinely handicapped financially. It is often said that blessed is the hand that giveth. I took this decision because I do not have any child that will inherit this money and my husband relatives are bourgeois and very wealthy persons and I do not want my husband’s hard earned money to be misused or invested into ill perceived ventures. I do not want a situation where this money will be used in an ungodly manner, hence the reason for taking this bold decision. I am not afraid of death hence I know where I am going. I know that I am going to be with the Almighty when I eventually pass on. The Almighty will fight my case and I shall hold my peace. As soon as I receive your response I shall give you vital information and contact of the security company.My happiness is that I lived a life worthy of emulation. Please always be prayerful all through your life. Please assure me that you will act just as I have stated herein. Regards, Tina Wilcox "

30th July 2015, 09:24	#9059
sudev Distinguished - BHPian Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: Gurgaon Posts: 3,838 Thanked: 3,179 Times	Tina seems such genuine and caring person. 😅