The Official Joke thread

Neeraj1903 · 23rd November 2017, 16:07

According to an Automobile website, Maruti Esteem had 16Cylinder 4 Valve engine.

knightrider_7 · 26th November 2017, 19:47

Received on WhatsApp

Blast of the day:
Best Answer given by an Indian Citizen:-
My Income Tax return form has been sent back because, In response to a question for 'Number of Dependents on you?', I replied :---
"65% of population who doesn't pay taxes, 21 million illegal immigrants, 9,00,000 criminals in over 1382 prisons and above all 544+ MPs in parliament"and 4000 MLA's of states.
They said, this is not an acceptable answer.
I am still wondering..... Who the hell did I miss out!!.

Dedicated to all tax payers.

BenjiRoss · 27th November 2017, 07:15

Quote:

Originally Posted by knightrider_7

Received on WhatsApp

Blast of the day:
Best Answer given by an Indian Citizen:-
My Income Tax return form has been sent back because, In response to a question for 'Number of Dependents on you?', I replied :---
"65% of population who doesn't pay taxes, 21 million illegal immigrants, 9,00,000 criminals in over 1382 prisons and above all 544+ MPs in parliament"and 4000 MLA's of states.
They said, this is not an acceptable answer.
I am still wondering..... Who the hell did I miss out!!.

Dedicated to all tax payers.

Probably missed out spouse and kids.

1self · 28th November 2017, 08:32

When the road gets BLOCKED!

selfdrive · 28th November 2017, 11:31

Quote:

Originally Posted by BenjiRoss

Probably missed out spouse and kids.

Considering current situation it looks like I am more dependent on them than they are on me

sleepyhead148 · 28th November 2017, 14:59

So I was recently going through stats of Niroshan Dickwella's dismissals in all forms of cricket. A lot of caught behinds and caught at slips.

At this rate, he can definitely change his name to Niroshan Nickwella.

arunramaswamy · 3rd December 2017, 06:37

Came across this meme.

--gKrish-- · 3rd December 2017, 09:20

Much better than the generic ones.

Mods. Please move to appropriate thread

1self · 4th December 2017, 17:44

Now I know women don't use that brand of shampoo!

GTO · 5th December 2017, 12:59

WhatsApp forward this morning:

Quote:

On a very cold day, a wife messages her husband and says "Honey, the car didn't start and in the dashboard appears a man pooping. Picture attached".

The Official Joke thread-whatsapp-image-20171205-08.41.35.jpeg

manaljain · 6th December 2017, 21:15

"tesla roadster" - the duracell beast

Chethan B G · 7th December 2017, 17:06

His phone rang in church by accident during prayers. The Pastor and the worshippers scolded him after prayer for interrupting the silence. You could see the shame, embarrassment and humiliation on his face, as he walked out. He never stepped foot in the church ever again.

He went to a pub. He spilled his drink by accident, the waiter apologized, gave him a napkin to clean himself up, the waiter also mopped the floor and offered him a complementary drink. He never stopped going there since.

You can make a difference by how you treat people. 😜

karthi.stark · 10th December 2017, 19:05

In every chemistry class, all that I hear is the trends in physical and chemical properties of elements in the periodic table.

I sometimes wonder about the Titaniums in these properties.

(In case you're wondering, it's a reference to the Endy's variants)

condor · 10th December 2017, 22:48

Bangaloreans & people familiar with Bangalore can understand this one:

Note:
seriously, this is not PP'ed. Taken straight off g-maps just now

Arjun Reddy · 11th December 2017, 10:15

Quote:

Originally Posted by condor

Bangaloreans & people familiar with Bangalore can understand this one:

Note:
seriously, this is not PP'ed. Taken straight off g-maps just now

Good one. Google just moved our Majestic bus station to the CMs official residence.

23rd November 2017, 16:07	#9841
Neeraj1903 BHPian Join Date: Nov 2017 Location: Pune Posts: 142 Thanked: 853 Times	Re: The Official Joke thread According to an Automobile website, Maruti Esteem had 16Cylinder 4 Valve engine. Attached Thumbnails

26th November 2017, 19:47	#9842
knightrider_7 BHPian Join Date: Jun 2017 Location: KL07/KL11 Posts: 290 Thanked: 434 Times View My Garage	Re: The Official Joke thread Received on WhatsApp Blast of the day: Best Answer given by an Indian Citizen:- My Income Tax return form has been sent back because, In response to a question for 'Number of Dependents on you?', I replied :--- "65% of population who doesn't pay taxes, 21 million illegal immigrants, 9,00,000 criminals in over 1382 prisons and above all 544+ MPs in parliament"and 4000 MLA's of states. They said, this is not an acceptable answer. I am still wondering..... Who the hell did I miss out!!. Dedicated to all tax payers.

28th November 2017, 08:32	#9844
1self BHPian Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: Pune Posts: 629 Thanked: 334 Times View My Garage	Re: The Official Joke thread When the road gets BLOCKED! Attached Thumbnails

28th November 2017, 14:59	#9846
sleepyhead148 BHPian Join Date: Sep 2017 Location: Bengaluru Posts: 120 Thanked: 208 Times	Re: The Official Joke thread So I was recently going through stats of Niroshan Dickwella's dismissals in all forms of cricket. A lot of caught behinds and caught at slips. At this rate, he can definitely change his name to Niroshan Nickwella.

3rd December 2017, 06:37	#9847
arunramaswamy BHPian Join Date: Oct 2016 Location: Chennai/Sydney Posts: 338 Thanked: 677 Times	Came across this meme. Attached Thumbnails Last edited by arunramaswamy : 3rd December 2017 at 06:43.

3rd December 2017, 09:20	#9848
--gKrish-- BHPian Join Date: Nov 2015 Location: Dresden - TVM Posts: 246 Thanked: 711 Times	Re: The Official Joke thread Much better than the generic ones. Mods. Please move to appropriate thread Attached Thumbnails

4th December 2017, 17:44	#9849
1self BHPian Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: Pune Posts: 629 Thanked: 334 Times View My Garage	Re: The Official Joke thread Now I know women don't use that brand of shampoo! Attached Thumbnails

6th December 2017, 21:15	#9851
manaljain BHPian Join Date: May 2017 Location: Indore Posts: 128 Thanked: 552 Times View My Garage	Re: The Official Joke thread "tesla roadster" - the duracell beast Attached Thumbnails

7th December 2017, 17:06	#9852
Chethan B G Senior - BHPian Join Date: Mar 2010 Location: Bangalore Posts: 1,670 Thanked: 2,133 Times View My Garage	His phone rang in church by accident during prayers. The Pastor and the worshippers scolded him after prayer for interrupting the silence. You could see the shame, embarrassment and humiliation on his face, as he walked out. He never stepped foot in the church ever again. He went to a pub. He spilled his drink by accident, the waiter apologized, gave him a napkin to clean himself up, the waiter also mopped the floor and offered him a complementary drink. He never stopped going there since. You can make a difference by how you treat people. 😜

10th December 2017, 19:05	#9853
karthi.stark BHPian Join Date: Dec 2016 Location: Kolkata Posts: 108 Thanked: 509 Times View My Garage	Re: The Official Joke thread In every chemistry class, all that I hear is the trends in physical and chemical properties of elements in the periodic table. I sometimes wonder about the Titaniums in these properties. (In case you're wondering, it's a reference to the Endy's variants)

10th December 2017, 22:48	#9854
condor Distinguished - BHPian Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: Speed-brkr City Posts: 16,240 Thanked: 16,888 Times View My Garage	Re: The Official Joke thread Bangaloreans & people familiar with Bangalore can understand this one: Note: seriously, this is not PP'ed. Taken straight off g-maps just now Last edited by condor : 10th December 2017 at 22:50.