Team-BHP - The Official Joke thread

During a good manners and etiquette class, the teacher says to her students "If you were courting a well educated young girl from a prominent family and during a dinner for two, you needed to go to the toilet, what would you say to her?"
Mike replies "Wait a minute, I'm going for a p."
The teacher says : "That would be very rude and improper on your part."
Charlie replies: "I'm sorry I need to go to the toilet, I'll be back in a minute."
The teacher says : "That's much better but to mention the word ''toilet'' during a meal, is unpleasant."
And Johnny says: "My dear, please excuse me for a moment. I have to go shake hands with a personal friend, whom, I hope, to be able to introduce to you after dinner. "
The teacher fainted ...
------------------

Santa: Main ghar jaate hi biwi ki panty utar dunga.
Banta: Yaar tu to bahut mood mein lag raha
hai.
Santa: Nahi yaar mujhe bahut tight ho rahi hai.
-----------------

In a party, a lady wanted to go to toilet.
She said to Santa: Susu karne ki jagah dikhaao.
Santa: U naughty girl, pehle tum dikhaao.

-----------------
Pappu sees his parents having s**.
Pappu: Papa, kya kar rahe ho?
Santa: Petrol bhar raha hoon.
Pappu: Avg check karaao, abhi to Banta uncle dal kar gaye hain.

----------------

Santa: Oye Banta don't marry that girl, she is like a TAXI.
Banta: Choti si to city hai yaar... kitni chali hogi?

A father passing by his son's bedroom, was astonished to see the bed

was nicely made, and everything was picked up. Then, he saw an

envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow.

It was addressed, "Dad." With the worst premonition, he opened the

envelope and read the letter, with trembling hands.

"Dear, Dad.

It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to

elope with my new girlfriend, because I wanted to avoid a scene

with Mum and you.

I've been finding real passion with Stacy, and she is so nice, but I

knew you would not approve of her, because of all her piercing's, tattoos,

her tight Motorcycle clothes, and because she is so much older than I am.

But it's not only the passion, Dad. She's pregnant.

Stacy said that we will be very happy. She owns a trailer in the

woods, and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter.

We share a dream of having many more children.

Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn't, really

hurt anyone. We'll be growing it for ourselves, and trading it with

The other people in the commune, for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want.

In the meantime, we'll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS,

so Stacy can get better. She sure deserves it!!

Don't worry Dad, I'm 15, and I know how to take care of myself.

Someday, I'm sure we'll be back to visit, so you can get to know your

many grandchildren.

Love, your son, Joshua.

P.S. Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at Jason's house.

I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than

the school report that's on my desk.

I love you!

Call when it is safe for me to come home.

Once upon a time ther lived a king
The king had a beautiful daughter, the princess!
But there was a problem

Everything the princess touched would melt. No matter what; metal, wood, plastic- anything she touched would melt. Because of this, men were afraid of her. Nobody would dare marry her. The king despaired.
What could he do to help his daughter. He consulted his wizards and magicians. One wizard told the king, "If your daughter touches one thing that does not melt in her hands, she will be cured."

The king was overjoyed. The next
day, he held a
competition. Any man that could
bring his daughter
an object that would not melt would
marry her and
inherit the king's wealth. Three
young princes took
up the challenge. The first prince
brought a
very
hard alloy of titanium. But alas,
once the princess
touched it, it melted. The prince
went away sadly.

The second prince brought a huge
diamond, thinking that
diamond is the hardest substance in
the world and surely,
it would not melt. But alas, once
the princess touched it,
it melted. He too was sent away
disappointed.

The third prince approached. He
told the princess,
"Put your hand in my pocket and
feel what is in
there." The princess did as she was
told, though she
turned red. She felt something
hard. She held it in
her hand. And it did not melt!!!

The king was overjoyed. Everybody in the kingdom was overjoyed.
And the third prince married the princess and they both lived happily ever after.

But The Question Is :
What was the object in the prince's pocket ?

( scroll down )

They were Britannia Little Hearts of course! HAHAHA HA HE HE HE ,,
They melt in your mouth, not in your hand.

"Test cricket is the ultimate test for any cricketer and if a player can do well in that format, then he can do well in all other formats, be it one-day matches or Twenty20." rl:
-Rahul Dravid (Captain, Royal Challengers Sports Private Limited, Bangalore)

(no wonder he packed his T20 side with Test players and now languishing at the bottom of the table in IPL T20 tournament :uncontrol)

Quote:

Originally Posted by tsk1979 (Post 822447)

They took their team name seriously and drink RC before every match.. Thats the problem.

They probably need a peg before & after a game. Before-so that they'd not realize how bad a beating they take from the opposition; After- some things need to be forgotten..nothing to beat the after effects of alcohol with the short term memory loss.
lol:

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nitin (Post 822463)

The way they have been playing, I am not too sure if they would mind permanent memory loss either :) I am sure they are pickled in RC by the amount of losses they have managed :Frustrati