The Official Joke thread

n_aditya · 23rd July 2008, 14:59

Simply-sunny 001 : That was hilarious. LMAO

bblost · 23rd July 2008, 17:50

simply sunny.
thats posted before:

http://www.team-bhp.com/forum/shifti...tml#post120769

unknown · 23rd July 2008, 20:41

Do You Know The Meaning Of BMW . . . . . . . ["!"]
Bohat Mehngey Wali Car . . . . . . .;->

mb_jg · 24th July 2008, 01:20

While in line at the bank one afternoon, my toddler decided to release some pent-up energy and ran amok. I was finally able to grab hold of her after receiving looks of disgust and annoyance from other patrons. I told her that if she did not start behaving "right now" she would be punished. To my horror, she looked me in the eye and said in a voice just as threatening, "If you don't let me go right now, I will tell Grandma that I saw you kissing Daddy's pee-pee last night!" The silence was deafening after this enlightening exchange. Even the tellers stopped what they were doing. I mustered up the last of my dignity and walked out of the bank with my daughter in tow. The last thing I heard when the door closed behind me were screams of laughter.

A boy worked in the produce section of the supermarket. A man came in
and asked to buy half a head of lettuce. The boy told him they only sold
whole heads of lettuce, but the man was persistent. The boy said he'd go
ask his manager what to do.

The boy walked into the back room and said, "There's some jerk out there
who wants to buy only half a head of lettuce."

As he finished saying this he turned around to find the man standing
right behind him, so he added, "And this gentleman wants to buy the
other half."

The manager okayed the deal. Later the manager said to the boy, "You
almost got yourself in a lot of trouble earlier, but I must say I was
impressed with the way you got yourself out of it.

You think on your feet,and we like that around here. Where are you
from,son?"

The boy replied, "Minnesota, sir."

"Oh really? Why did you leave Minnesota?" asked the manager.

The boy replied, "They're all just prostitutes and hockey players up
there."

"My wife is from Minnesota," the manager said.

The boy replied, "Really!? What team did she play for?"

diabloo · 24th July 2008, 06:16

People are saying this since 2005 !

07th April 2005 http://www.team-bhp.com/forum/shifti...post68638.html
27th June 2005 http://www.team-bhp.com/forum/shifti...post94735.html
27th February 2006 http://www.team-bhp.com/forum/shifti...ost182491.html

Quote:

Originally Posted by mb_jg

A boy worked in the produce section of the supermarket.

GTO · 24th July 2008, 09:58

Dont know if this email forward has been posted before. Hilarious stuff!

Quote:

Ferrari's F1 Team was facing a disturbing problem with its Pit Crew. Ferrari decided to take advantage of India's high unemployment rate and hire unemployed Indian youths from the Dharavi slums in Mumbai. The decision to hire them was brought on by a recent documentary on how they were able to remove a set of wheels from a car parked in the street in less than 6 seconds without proper equipment.

Ferrari's erstwhile crew took more than 8 seconds with the right equipment. This was thought to be an excellent yet bold move by the Ferrari management,and, as most races are won & lost in the pits, Ferrari would have an advantage over every other team.

However, Ferrari's expectations were exceeded, as during the crew's first practice session; not only were 'da boyz' from Mumbai able to change the tires in under 6 seconds, but within 12 seconds had resprayed the car, filed off the chassis number and sold the vehicle over to the McLaren Team!

srijit · 24th July 2008, 10:38

That Ferrari joke make me LOL. nice

Car-Agey · 24th July 2008, 17:47

A resume sample for you all.

mobike008 · 24th July 2008, 18:27

Car-Agey, that is simply hilarious. He would certainly be an asset to whichever company he joins OR is it runs

gowda79 · 24th July 2008, 20:22

Raju was invited to his friend's home for dinner.

Boju, the host, preceded every request to his wife by endearing terms, calling her Honey, My Love, Darling, Sweetheart, etc.

Raju looked at Boju and remarked, "That is really nice. After all these years that you have been married, you keep calling your wife those pet names."

Boju hung his head and whispered, "To tell the truth, I forgot her name three years ago."

AvinashKeezh · 24th July 2008, 21:35

A farm boy accidentally overturned his wagonload of corn. The farmer who lived nearby heard the noise and yelled over to the boy, "Hey Willis, forget your troubles. Come in and visit with us. I'll help you get the wagon up later."

"That's mighty nice of you," Willis answered, "but I don't think Pa would like me to."

"Aw come on boy," the farmer insisted.

"Well okay," the boy finally agreed, and added, "but Pa won't like it."

After a hearty dinner, Willis thanked his host. "I feel a lot better now, but I know Pa is going to be real upset."

"Don't be foolish!" the neighbor said with a smile. "By the way, where is he?"

"Under the wagon."

speedzak · 24th July 2008, 22:47

There was one group on a tour bus. The guide asked if anyone could tell the rest a joke.
A man thereupon stood and said he will tell a good joke about americans. Suddenly, another stood up and says: No! Don't do that. I'm an american.

The guide looked at him calmly and said: that's ok buddy, we'll explain it to you later.

Guys! It's a joke. No offence to anybody.

kuttapan · 24th July 2008, 23:40

Once, a group(of 40) from my college went to Goa. Vijay, a very enthusiastic chap, was part of the group. He got lost in one of the beaches and the group did not realise until later. One of the girls in the group, however, spotted later that Vijay was no more in the bus. The bus went back and a manhunt began. They were unsuccessful, so it was decided to take the matters to police. Off they went, to the nearest police station and explained that one member was missing from their tour party.

The police officer asks - "Is that guy's name Vijay, by any chance?"

The whole group is surprised now and ask the officer how he could possibly know the missing person's name.

He says - " Oh, that's easy ! Vijay came to the station a while ago and lodged a complaint that one bus and 39 people were missing !!!"

ramie2400 · 24th July 2008, 23:57

kuttapan now thats really funny man

mb_jg · 25th July 2008, 01:40

Quote:

Originally Posted by diabloo

People are saying this since 2005 !

07th April 2005 http://www.team-bhp.com/forum/shifti...post68638.html
27th June 2005 http://www.team-bhp.com/forum/shifti...post94735.html
27th February 2006 http://www.team-bhp.com/forum/shifti...ost182491.html

Damn you have a lot of time to research what has been posted before

It's just a very spontaneous joke, maybe that's why it was posted earlier.

Ok, here's one that might make you smile,

Q) What do you get when you cross a Donkey with an Onion???

A) A piece of As$ that brings tears to your eyes!

24th July 2008, 01:20	#3064
mb_jg BHPian Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: Pune Posts: 485 Thanked: 124 Times	While in line at the bank one afternoon, my toddler decided to release some pent-up energy and ran amok. I was finally able to grab hold of her after receiving looks of disgust and annoyance from other patrons. I told her that if she did not start behaving "right now" she would be punished. To my horror, she looked me in the eye and said in a voice just as threatening, "If you don't let me go right now, I will tell Grandma that I saw you kissing Daddy's pee-pee last night!" The silence was deafening after this enlightening exchange. Even the tellers stopped what they were doing. I mustered up the last of my dignity and walked out of the bank with my daughter in tow. The last thing I heard when the door closed behind me were screams of laughter. A boy worked in the produce section of the supermarket. A man came in and asked to buy half a head of lettuce. The boy told him they only sold whole heads of lettuce, but the man was persistent. The boy said he'd go ask his manager what to do. The boy walked into the back room and said, "There's some jerk out there who wants to buy only half a head of lettuce." As he finished saying this he turned around to find the man standing right behind him, so he added, "And this gentleman wants to buy the other half." The manager okayed the deal. Later the manager said to the boy, "You almost got yourself in a lot of trouble earlier, but I must say I was impressed with the way you got yourself out of it. You think on your feet,and we like that around here. Where are you from,son?" The boy replied, "Minnesota, sir." "Oh really? Why did you leave Minnesota?" asked the manager. The boy replied, "They're all just prostitutes and hockey players up there." "My wife is from Minnesota," the manager said. The boy replied, "Really!? What team did she play for?" Last edited by aah78 : 24th July 2008 at 21:45. Reason: Posts merged. Use EDIT. Text format tags removed. Use Notepad instead of a word processor.

24th July 2008, 17:47	#3068
Car-Agey BHPian Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: Delhi Posts: 344 Thanked: 54 Times	A resume sample for you all. Attached Thumbnails

24th July 2008, 21:35	#3071
AvinashKeezh BHPian Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: Bangalore Posts: 234 Thanked: 11 Times	Pa wont like it A farm boy accidentally overturned his wagonload of corn. The farmer who lived nearby heard the noise and yelled over to the boy, "Hey Willis, forget your troubles. Come in and visit with us. I'll help you get the wagon up later." "That's mighty nice of you," Willis answered, "but I don't think Pa would like me to." "Aw come on boy," the farmer insisted. "Well okay," the boy finally agreed, and added, "but Pa won't like it." After a hearty dinner, Willis thanked his host. "I feel a lot better now, but I know Pa is going to be real upset." "Don't be foolish!" the neighbor said with a smile. "By the way, where is he?" "Under the wagon."

23rd July 2008, 14:59	#3061
n_aditya Senior - BHPian Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: Namma Bengaluru Posts: 5,348 Thanked: 3,684 Times View My Garage	Simply-sunny 001 : That was hilarious. LMAO

23rd July 2008, 17:50	#3062
bblost Team-BHP Support Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: Hyderabad Posts: 11,006 Thanked: 15,317 Times View My Garage	simply sunny. thats posted before: http://www.team-bhp.com/forum/shifti...tml#post120769

23rd July 2008, 20:41	#3063
unknown BANNED Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: Earth Posts: 439 Thanked: 23 Times	Do You Know The Meaning Of BMW . . . . . . . ["!"] Bohat Mehngey Wali Car . . . . . . .;->

24th July 2008, 10:38	#3067
srijit BHPian Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: Trivandrum Posts: 598 Thanked: 8 Times	That Ferrari joke make me LOL. nice

24th July 2008, 18:27	#3069
mobike008 Distinguished - BHPian Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: Seattle, WA Posts: 11,695 Thanked: 14,800 Times View My Garage	Car-Agey, that is simply hilarious. He would certainly be an asset to whichever company he joins OR is it runs

24th July 2008, 20:22	#3070
gowda79 Senior - BHPian Join Date: May 2007 Location: Bengaluru Posts: 1,478 Thanked: 194 Times View My Garage	Raju was invited to his friend's home for dinner. Boju, the host, preceded every request to his wife by endearing terms, calling her Honey, My Love, Darling, Sweetheart, etc. Raju looked at Boju and remarked, "That is really nice. After all these years that you have been married, you keep calling your wife those pet names." Boju hung his head and whispered, "To tell the truth, I forgot her name three years ago."

24th July 2008, 22:47	#3072
speedzak BANNED Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: India Posts: 4,347 Thanked: 27 Times	There was one group on a tour bus. The guide asked if anyone could tell the rest a joke. A man thereupon stood and said he will tell a good joke about americans. Suddenly, another stood up and says: No! Don't do that. I'm an american. The guide looked at him calmly and said: that's ok buddy, we'll explain it to you later. Guys! It's a joke. No offence to anybody.

24th July 2008, 23:40	#3073
kuttapan Senior - BHPian Join Date: May 2007 Location: Melbourne Posts: 1,155 Thanked: 22 Times View My Garage	Once, a group(of 40) from my college went to Goa. Vijay, a very enthusiastic chap, was part of the group. He got lost in one of the beaches and the group did not realise until later. One of the girls in the group, however, spotted later that Vijay was no more in the bus. The bus went back and a manhunt began. They were unsuccessful, so it was decided to take the matters to police. Off they went, to the nearest police station and explained that one member was missing from their tour party. The police officer asks - "Is that guy's name Vijay, by any chance?" The whole group is surprised now and ask the officer how he could possibly know the missing person's name. He says - " Oh, that's easy ! Vijay came to the station a while ago and lodged a complaint that one bus and 39 people were missing !!!"

24th July 2008, 23:57	#3074
ramie2400 Senior - BHPian Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Mumbai Posts: 1,903 Thanked: 66 Times View My Garage	kuttapan now thats really funny man