The Official Joke thread

Alfa Romeo · 5th December 2011, 14:01

Lady over phone:
Hello is this Mr. Jhaveri? I need to meet you and talk to you..
Man: Why?
Lady: Because your the FATHER of one of my kids.

Man (in shock) OMG! Are you Mrs Rawat
Lady: No
Man: Mrs kulkarni
Lady: No
Man: Mrs Chopra
Lady: No
Man: Mrs Fernandes
Lady: No
Lady(Totally confused) - No sir , I am your son's class teacher

suhaas307 · 5th December 2011, 18:42

Found this on Facebook. I just had to share it!

anjan_c2007 · 5th December 2011, 22:50

Need not mention again and again and again

this is from Facebook. Where else??
Name: ComputerBai.jpg
Views: 1994
Size: 12.8 KB

bluevolt · 5th December 2011, 22:57

A Boy Was Going With His Girl Friend

Friend Asked : Who Is She?

Boy : My Cousin.

The Friend Said: Last Year She Was My Cousin!

________________________________________

Rajnikanth can "force" garbage collector to run.. and guess what..GC runs as higher priority thread and start collecting garbage.

bluevolt · 5th December 2011, 23:28

IT Lecturer commits Suicide after listening to the answers from a brilliant student during viva-voce

Q. Explain 2 tier and 3 -tier Architecture ?
A. Two wheelers like scooters will have 2 tyres and autorickshaws will have 3 tyres.

Q. I want to store more than 10 objects in a remote server? Which methodology will follow?
A. Send it through courier.

Q. Can I modify an object in CORBA?
A. As you wish , I do not have any objections.

Q. How to communicate 2 threads each other ?
A. Sorry, Non living things can't communicate.

Q. Explain RMI Architecture?
A. I am a computer professional not an architect student.

Q. What is the use of Servlets ?
A. In hotels, they can replace servers.

Q. What is the dif ference between Process and Threads?
A. Threads are small ropes. Make a rope from threads is an example for process.

Q. What is JAR file ?
A. File that can be kept inside a jar.

Q. What is JINI?
A. A ghost which was Aladdin's friend.

Q. How will you call an Applet from a _Java Script?
A. I will give invitation.

Q. What is bean ? Where it can be used ?
A. A kind of vegetable. In kitchens for cooking they can be used.

Q. Write down how will you create a binary Tree ?
A. When we sow a binary seed, a binary tree will grow.

Alfa Romeo · 6th December 2011, 12:37

Lady1 - Does your husband come home on time ?
Lady 2 - Yes
Lady1 - Thats so sweet of him...he loves you so much
Lady 2- Not exactly ..I have made a simple rule " ROMANCE will start 9 pm sharp whether you are here or not "

suhaas307 · 6th December 2011, 13:03

Ra.Hul! The real superhero!

IronH4WK · 6th December 2011, 13:07

Quote:

Originally Posted by suhaas307

Ra.Hul! The real superhero!

aw, come on! leave him alone will ya! the only thing holding up the team is The Wall! i wonder what he has for breakfast (Ultratech, ACC or Birla)

MARCUS_520i · 6th December 2011, 14:09

############

A man and a friend are playing golf one day at their local golf course. One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral procession on the road next to the course. He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes, and bows down in prayer.

His friend says: “Wow, that is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen. You truly are a kind man.”

The man then replies: “Yeah, well we were married 35 years.”

############

The police were going door to door warning everyone to evacuate because the river was rising. One door they came to, the man said "GOD will save me".
The river continued to rise and he was forced to move everthing to the second floor of his house. A man in a boat came by and offered to save him. Again he said "GOD will save me".
Pretty soon the second storey was flooded and he was forced to get on the roof of his house. A helicopter came by and tried to save him and yet again he said "GOD will save me".
It wasn't long before the house was completely covered and the man died and went to heaven. He confronted God with "Why didn't you save me, GOD?"
And God said " I sent you the police, a boat and a helicopter. Why did you stay in the house?"

Scorcher · 6th December 2011, 16:12

Oh please! Now it's indeed evoking "Kolaveri"!

IronH4WK · 6th December 2011, 16:17

Quote:

Originally Posted by Scorcher

Oh please! Now it's indeed evoking "Kolaveri"!

damn! already on the roads, eh?

now that's opportunist marketing

sachinj12 · 6th December 2011, 18:11

Quote:

Originally Posted by IronH4WK

damn! already on the roads, eh?

now that's opportunist marketing

Its not marketing, cause its by the traffic police department

.

traveloholic · 6th December 2011, 18:42

Hyundai takes over Toyota and now sells Toyota Innova as Hyundai Innova. Since When? When did this happen? ICICI Lombard thinks so.

Scorcher · 7th December 2011, 00:40

Not a joke,
Sonu Nigam's son singing "Kolaveri Di". Funny how they modified the lyrics to be sung by a child

Kolaveri Di featuring Nevaan Nigam - YouTube

//M · 7th December 2011, 10:16

Antibody: One who hates his/her body….!
Artery: Study of painting….!
Bacteria: Back door of cafeteria….!
Coma: punctuation mark..!
... Genes: Blue Denim….!
Labor pain: hurt at work….!
Ultrasound: Radical Sound….!
Cardiology: advance study of playing cards….!

5th December 2011, 14:01	#5836
Alfa Romeo BHPian Join Date: Nov 2011 Location: Dubai Posts: 60 Thanked: 54 Times	Re: The Official Joke thread Lady over phone: Hello is this Mr. Jhaveri? I need to meet you and talk to you.. Man: Why? Lady: Because your the FATHER of one of my kids. Man (in shock) OMG! Are you Mrs Rawat Lady: No Man: Mrs kulkarni Lady: No Man: Mrs Chopra Lady: No Man: Mrs Fernandes Lady: No Lady(Totally confused) - No sir , I am your son's class teacher

5th December 2011, 18:42	#5837
suhaas307 Team-BHP Support Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: Bangalore Posts: 8,761 Thanked: 11,873 Times	Re: The Official Joke thread Found this on Facebook. I just had to share it! Attached Images

5th December 2011, 22:50	#5838
anjan_c2007 Distinguished - BHPian Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: India Posts: 7,609 Thanked: 16,622 Times View My Garage	Re: The Official Joke thread Need not mention again and again and again this is from Facebook. Where else??

5th December 2011, 22:57	#5839
bluevolt Senior - BHPian Join Date: Jan 2011 Location: New Delhi Posts: 3,271 Thanked: 3,458 Times View My Garage Infractions: 0/1 (5)	Re: The Official Joke thread A Boy Was Going With His Girl Friend Friend Asked : Who Is She? Boy : My Cousin. The Friend Said: Last Year She Was My Cousin! ________________________________________ Rajnikanth can "force" garbage collector to run.. and guess what..GC runs as higher priority thread and start collecting garbage. Last edited by bluevolt : 5th December 2011 at 23:23.

5th December 2011, 23:28	#5840
bluevolt Senior - BHPian Join Date: Jan 2011 Location: New Delhi Posts: 3,271 Thanked: 3,458 Times View My Garage Infractions: 0/1 (5)	Re: The Official Joke thread IT Lecturer commits Suicide after listening to the answers from a brilliant student during viva-voce Q. Explain 2 tier and 3 -tier Architecture ? A. Two wheelers like scooters will have 2 tyres and autorickshaws will have 3 tyres. Q. I want to store more than 10 objects in a remote server? Which methodology will follow? A. Send it through courier. Q. Can I modify an object in CORBA? A. As you wish , I do not have any objections. Q. How to communicate 2 threads each other ? A. Sorry, Non living things can't communicate. Q. Explain RMI Architecture? A. I am a computer professional not an architect student. Q. What is the use of Servlets ? A. In hotels, they can replace servers. Q. What is the dif ference between Process and Threads? A. Threads are small ropes. Make a rope from threads is an example for process. Q. What is JAR file ? A. File that can be kept inside a jar. Q. What is JINI? A. A ghost which was Aladdin's friend. Q. How will you call an Applet from a _Java Script? A. I will give invitation. Q. What is bean ? Where it can be used ? A. A kind of vegetable. In kitchens for cooking they can be used. Q. Write down how will you create a binary Tree ? A. When we sow a binary seed, a binary tree will grow.

6th December 2011, 12:37	#5841
Alfa Romeo BHPian Join Date: Nov 2011 Location: Dubai Posts: 60 Thanked: 54 Times	Re: The Official Joke thread Lady1 - Does your husband come home on time ? Lady 2 - Yes Lady1 - Thats so sweet of him...he loves you so much Lady 2- Not exactly ..I have made a simple rule " ROMANCE will start 9 pm sharp whether you are here or not "

6th December 2011, 13:03	#5842
suhaas307 Team-BHP Support Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: Bangalore Posts: 8,761 Thanked: 11,873 Times	Re: The Official Joke thread Ra.Hul! The real superhero! Attached Images

6th December 2011, 14:09	#5844
MARCUS_520i BHPian Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: Mumbai Posts: 524 Thanked: 165 Times	Re: The Official Joke thread ############ A man and a friend are playing golf one day at their local golf course. One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral procession on the road next to the course. He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes, and bows down in prayer. His friend says: “Wow, that is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen. You truly are a kind man.” The man then replies: “Yeah, well we were married 35 years.” ############ The police were going door to door warning everyone to evacuate because the river was rising. One door they came to, the man said "GOD will save me". The river continued to rise and he was forced to move everthing to the second floor of his house. A man in a boat came by and offered to save him. Again he said "GOD will save me". Pretty soon the second storey was flooded and he was forced to get on the roof of his house. A helicopter came by and tried to save him and yet again he said "GOD will save me". It wasn't long before the house was completely covered and the man died and went to heaven. He confronted God with "Why didn't you save me, GOD?" And God said " I sent you the police, a boat and a helicopter. Why did you stay in the house?"

6th December 2011, 16:12	#5845
Scorcher Senior - BHPian Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: Trivandrum, KL Posts: 4,914 Thanked: 7,066 Times	Re: The Official Joke thread Oh please! Now it's indeed evoking "Kolaveri"! Attached Images

6th December 2011, 18:42	#5848
traveloholic BHPian Join Date: Sep 2009 Location: TrafficJamaBad earlier known as Hyd Posts: 750 Thanked: 235 Times	Re: The Official Joke thread Hyundai takes over Toyota and now sells Toyota Innova as Hyundai Innova. Since When? When did this happen? ICICI Lombard thinks so.

7th December 2011, 10:16	#5850
//M Distinguished - BHPian Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: New Delhi Posts: 5,938 Thanked: 21,296 Times	Re: The Official Joke thread Antibody: One who hates his/her body….! Artery: Study of painting….! Bacteria: Back door of cafeteria….! Coma: punctuation mark..! ... Genes: Blue Denim….! Labor pain: hurt at work….! Ultrasound: Radical Sound….! Cardiology: advance study of playing cards….!

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