The Official Joke thread

mayankk · 9th December 2011, 16:31

--removed---

Geez!!
Apologies, travelwriter.

Quote:

Originally Posted by selfdrive

Mine has a further twist.
My wife agrees that I am wrong and then I say sorry.

You, sir, are a terrestrial!!

travelwriter · 9th December 2011, 16:32

Quote:

Originally Posted by mayankk

what ???
another one?

Someone's gotta get in touch with SETI or nasa or something!!
these guys are definitely not from this planet!!!

You are not happily married, right?

Patriot_Vishwas · 9th December 2011, 16:34

Quote:

Originally Posted by bluevolt

Why Hindu Law does not permit Second Marriage...???

Answer- Indian Constitution-Article 20(2)-says No man can be punished twice for same offence.

@the emboldened bit,I think that the term Double Jeopardy can be/is used instead.

:-
If I had remembered this during my exams,I would have passed my "Constitution Of India and Professional Ethics" subject

anjan_c2007 · 9th December 2011, 20:15

Quote:

Originally Posted by selfdrive

Happy anniversary buddy!
I am sure you would have got more silence than the 2 mins you asked for

Its nice of you to report your safety and well being (for now) by typing this post out

Also hope that you didnt go ahead and give reasons in detail, in whose honour/ remembrance the 2 mins silence etc.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Swanand Inamdar

Its my wedding anniversary today.
My wife asked me as to what gift would I like on this day?

I nonchalently answered - "2 mins of silence".

Didnt quite understand the part where, I am supposed to end up in the living room tonight.

P.S: All this is actually true.

I on behalf of all teambhp fellow members am constantly praying for the safety, security and well being of Mr Swanand ever since I read his post.Though I don't know him personally, that team spirit or better teambhp spirit.Happy Anniversary Swanandji.

BaCkSeAtDrIVeR · 9th December 2011, 21:44

Surprising. We have quite a few henpecked husbands around here. Even more surprising is that they choose to type out their wo[e|w]s.

Reminds me of the story about the King asking a crowd to split into two - one side for those who obey their wives; and the other for those who refuse to obey their b[i|e}tter halves. There was only one guy on the latter side. The king asked him for details, and he replied - "my wife asked me not to disclose the truth"!!!

vivekiny2k · 9th December 2011, 23:18

now that we are discussing wives, some dialogs that get repeated quite often.

her: will you marry again if i died?
I: I have tried it once, take a guess.

her: do you love me?
I: I answered it y'day, do you want the answer to change? I can, just let me know.

carboy · 9th December 2011, 23:21

Quote:

Originally Posted by Swanand Inamdar

Its my wedding anniversary today.
My wife asked me as to what gift would I like on this day?

I nonchalently answered - "2 mins of silence".

Didnt quite understand the part where, I am supposed to end up in the living room tonight.

I am assuming it's silent in the living room, unless you turn on the TV or something.

carwatcher · 10th December 2011, 00:51

Hope its not posted earlier:

Scenario I :
Boy makes mistake.
Girl Shouts.
Boy says SORRY.

Scenario II :
Girl make mistake.
Boy shouts.
Girl starts crying.
Boy says SORRY.

anjan_c2007 · 10th December 2011, 22:40

Walmart opened a store in India and gave the franchise to one Agrawal. Next it was renamed as AgraWalMart.

johnda · 10th December 2011, 23:38

Quote:

Originally Posted by mukeshgoel

Only Two Things Change A Woman's Mood:
1. I Love You!
2. 50% Discount!
:-)

Mukesh you might hear it from Condor
CONDOR where are you??

Jus to change the mood perspective -
* 1 thing that will change a woman's mood - Your "I love you at 50% discount"

Scarlet_Rider · 11th December 2011, 13:44

80-year-old man to Doctor : My 20-year-old wife is pregnant.

Doctor : Listen to this story. A hunter goes to the jungle. In a hurry, he takes his umbrella instead of his gun. In the jungle he suddenly comes face to face with a lion. He pulls the handle of his umbrella and fires. The lion dies.

Old Man : Impossible! Someone else must have fired a gun!

Doctor : That is exactly my point!

Scorcher · 11th December 2011, 14:07

This generation in a nutshell!

anjan_c2007 · 11th December 2011, 19:41

Quote:

Originally Posted by Scarlet_Rider

80-year-old man to Doctor : My 20-year-old wife is pregnant.

Doctor : Listen to this story. A hunter goes to the jungle. In a hurry, he takes his umbrella instead of his gun. In the jungle he suddenly comes face to face with a lion. He pulls the handle of his umbrella and fires. The lion dies.

Old Man : Impossible! Someone else must have fired a gun!

Doctor : That is exactly my point!

Artillery problems in a nutshell!
Here is a Marathi poster affixed by someone below the doorbell.

It reads " The voters are asleep during noons. Do not ring the bell. Or else you won't get the vote. And do not bother, we will cast our votes in your favour."

Scorcher · 11th December 2011, 20:14

To all my friends to has bitten the shutter'bug'

anilisanil · 11th December 2011, 22:22

parallel parking!!No words!!

Parallel Parking - YouTube

9th December 2011, 21:44	#5885
BaCkSeAtDrIVeR Senior - BHPian Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Kochi Posts: 2,541 Thanked: 755 Times	Re: The Official Joke thread Surprising. We have quite a few henpecked husbands around here. Even more surprising is that they choose to type out their wo[e\|w]s. Reminds me of the story about the King asking a crowd to split into two - one side for those who obey their wives; and the other for those who refuse to obey their b[i\|e}tter halves. There was only one guy on the latter side. The king asked him for details, and he replied - "my wife asked me not to disclose the truth"!!!

9th December 2011, 23:18	#5886
vivekiny2k Senior - BHPian Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: cincinnati, jabalpur,chennai Posts: 1,264 Thanked: 212 Times View My Garage	Re: The Official Joke thread now that we are discussing wives, some dialogs that get repeated quite often. her: will you marry again if i died? I: I have tried it once, take a guess. her: do you love me? I: I answered it y'day, do you want the answer to change? I can, just let me know.

10th December 2011, 00:51	#5888
carwatcher Senior - BHPian Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: Bardez, Goa Posts: 1,184 Thanked: 1,032 Times	Re: The Official Joke thread Hope its not posted earlier: Scenario I : Boy makes mistake. Girl Shouts. Boy says SORRY. Scenario II : Girl make mistake. Boy shouts. Girl starts crying. Boy says SORRY.

10th December 2011, 22:40	#5889
anjan_c2007 Distinguished - BHPian Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: India Posts: 8,509 Thanked: 21,753 Times View My Garage	Re: The Official Joke thread Walmart opened a store in India and gave the franchise to one Agrawal. Next it was renamed as AgraWalMart.

11th December 2011, 13:44	#5891
Scarlet_Rider BHPian Join Date: Sep 2010 Location: Hyderabad Posts: 851 Thanked: 1,744 Times	Re: The Official Joke thread 80-year-old man to Doctor : My 20-year-old wife is pregnant. Doctor : Listen to this story. A hunter goes to the jungle. In a hurry, he takes his umbrella instead of his gun. In the jungle he suddenly comes face to face with a lion. He pulls the handle of his umbrella and fires. The lion dies. Old Man : Impossible! Someone else must have fired a gun! Doctor : That is exactly my point!

11th December 2011, 14:07	#5892
Scorcher Senior - BHPian Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: Trivandrum, KL Posts: 4,922 Thanked: 7,161 Times	Re: The Official Joke thread This generation in a nutshell! Attached Thumbnails

11th December 2011, 20:14	#5894
Scorcher Senior - BHPian Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: Trivandrum, KL Posts: 4,922 Thanked: 7,161 Times	Re: The Official Joke thread To all my friends to has bitten the shutter'bug' Attached Thumbnails