![]() | #5146 |
Senior - BHPian ![]() Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: cincinnati, jabalpur,chennai
Posts: 1,265
Thanked: 203 Times
| ![]() Cold is relative. 65° outside Arizonans turn on the heat. People in Minnesota plant gardens. 60° outside Californians shiver uncontrollably. People in Minnesota sunbathe. 50° outside Italian & English cars won't start. People in Minnesota drive with the windows down. 40° outside Georgians don coats, thermal underwear, gloves, wool hats. People in Minnesota throw on a flannel shirt. 35° outside New York landlords finally turn up the heat. People in Minnesota have the last cookout before it gets cold. 20° outside People in Miami all die. Minnesotans close their windows. Zero° outside Californians fly away to Mexico. People in Minnesota get out their winter coats. 10 below zero: Hollywood disintegrates. The Girl Scouts in Minnesota are selling cookies door to door. 20 below zero: Washington DC runs out of hot air. People in Minnesota let their dogs sleep indoors. 30 below zero: Santa Claus abandons the North Pole. Minnesotans get upset because they can't start the snowmobile. 40 below zero: ALL atomic motion stops. People in Minnesota start saying..."Cold enough for ya?" 50 below zero: Hell freezes over. Minnesota public schools will open 2 hours late. |
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![]() | #5147 |
Senior - BHPian ![]() Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: Trivandrum, KL
Posts: 4,905
Thanked: 6,952 Times
| ![]() Teacher: What is the chemical formula of water? Student: H2 Mg Cl Na Cl HNO3CaCo3Ca (OH)2 Sn Tn Hg NI HCT (COOH)O.' Teacher: What is this? Student: This is corporation water. Last edited by Scorcher : 18th September 2011 at 21:39. |
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![]() | #5148 |
Senior - BHPian ![]() Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: Trivandrum, KL
Posts: 4,905
Thanked: 6,952 Times
| ![]() Nine Pipe Pour Bun Nine Pipe Pour Bun Pipe Pour . . . . got it? . . . . . Its not a tongue twister. its Lalu Prasad giving his mobile number ![]() |
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![]() | #5149 |
Distinguished - BHPian ![]() ![]() Join Date: Apr 2010 Location: Zurich
Posts: 2,959
Thanked: 3,466 Times
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Reminded me of the last (or maybe the one before that) tour to India by the England cricket team. IIRC, there was a match either in Mohali or Delhi and when the camera panned across the stands first thing in the morning, the Barmy Army were in their shorts (guys without tees) while all Indians were huddled together in their sweaters and monkey caps. ![]() |
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![]() | #5150 |
Distinguished - BHPian ![]() ![]() | ![]() This is fro ma headline in TOI after the rains which saw levels at some places rise upto mid window on a spark "Monsoon Wading"!! |
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![]() | #5151 |
Team-BHP Support ![]() Join Date: Sep 2010 Location: All over!
Posts: 5,961
Thanked: 11,498 Times
| ![]() Joke 1 : I cut-down on driving my car because there was a strange noise coming every time I turned the steering wheel. The damn noise came night or day, without any passengers or full load. Worried I preponed the scheduled servicing and took it to A.S.S. The noise never came. The bloody joke is on me. Joke 2 : A 40k kms for my Corsa is gonna cost me 30k because the tension belt and clutch assembly are being replaced. The joke is again on me! I really wish the guys who designed Corsa and it's spare parts have extremely high-maintenance wives and leave them with nothing except Jockey underpants. Hopefully then the engineers will know what jokers they have reduced Corsa's buyers to. |
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![]() | #5152 |
Senior - BHPian ![]() Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: Trivandrum, KL
Posts: 4,905
Thanked: 6,952 Times
| ![]() An illiterate father with his educated son went on a camping trip. They setup their tent & fell asleep. Some hours later, father wakes his son and asks: Look up to the sky and tell me what u see? Son: I see millions of stars. Father: And what does that tell you? Son: Astronomically,it tells there are millions of galaxies and planets. Father slaps the son hard and says: Idiot someone has stolen our tent! Moral : Education doesn't buy commonsense ![]() |
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![]() | #5153 |
Senior - BHPian ![]() Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: Delhi - Kochi
Posts: 1,407
Thanked: 1,379 Times
| ![]() Tintumon called mobile customer care : My brother Tuttumon had swallowed my SIM card. CC Lady : What the hell can I do with that? Tintumon : He is speaking continuously. Want to know if it will affect my talk time balance. ![]() |
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![]() | #5154 |
Senior - BHPian ![]() Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: Trivandrum, KL
Posts: 4,905
Thanked: 6,952 Times
| ![]() Worried about falling asleep while in classes? Well, not anymore! ![]() |
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![]() | #5155 |
Senior - BHPian ![]() Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: Trivandrum, KL
Posts: 4,905
Thanked: 6,952 Times
| ![]() Boy to his friend: Because of one Apple we lost the Paradise. Friend: If Adam and Eve were Chinese, we would still be in Paradise Boy: How? Friend: Because they would have eaten the snake instead of that bloody Apple! ![]() |
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![]() | #5156 | |
Team-BHP Support ![]() ![]() Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: Bangalore
Posts: 8,688
Thanked: 11,256 Times
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![]() Daughter: iPod Son: iPhone Mother: iPad Father: iPay ![]() | |
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![]() | #5157 |
Senior - BHPian ![]() | ![]() Companies should pay salaries in petrol. At-least Growth is ensured every 3 months !!!!!! ![]() ![]() Last edited by bluevolt : 19th September 2011 at 20:19. |
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![]() | #5158 | |
BHPian Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: Hyderabad
Posts: 52
Thanked: 3 Times
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I came across this long time ago and failed and everyone whom I shared it with failed. While sharing it with a friend, his 5th grade kid was doing his homework overheard us and replied "Oh uncle its so easy - see I can do it" and he indeed was doing it. What he did left us with an open mouth and shaking heads and made us realize that there are more ways than one to do a thing and how we often don't look at options whatever the situation might be. All he did was, he wrote the "6" inside out i:e clockwise(the same direction as the rotation of the legs". | |
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![]() | #5159 |
Senior - BHPian ![]() | ![]() A beggar found 100 rs. He went to 5 star hotel for dinner bill - 3000 rs. Manager handed him to police. He gave 100 rs. to police and free. Its called FINANCIAL MANAGEMENT without MBA ![]() _____________________________________________ Teacher: Tell me the names of all the planets..!!! Student: venus...earth...mars... Teacher: aur suna Student:Bs badiya...tu suna... ![]() Last edited by bluevolt : 19th September 2011 at 21:17. |
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![]() | #5160 |
Senior - BHPian Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Kochi
Posts: 2,463
Thanked: 546 Times
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